In a Castle Dark or a Fortress Strong
by Caskett1960
Summary: Entry for the 2014 Summer Ficathon. A horrible ordeal threatens to rip the Castle's family apart. A prequel to 'A Bright, Shining Hope.'Note that the rating has now changed to M. Totally AU.
1. Aftermath

**DISCLAIMERS: 'Castle' is the property of Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC Studios Productions. No copyright infringement is intended. The story is the property of the author and may not be archived without my permission.**

**TITLE: In a Castle Dark or a Fortress Strong**

**SUMMARY: Castle and Beckett are faced with the aftermath of a horrible ordeal that threatens to rip their family apart.**

**RATING: T for subject matter. The rating might change later.**

**A/N #1: This is my entry for the 2014 Summer Ficathon. It is the prequel to 'A Bright, Shining Hope.'**

**A/N #2: In 'A Bright, Shining Hope,' I wrote about the quest to add a new baby to the family. I also wrote about the trauma that Castle and Ariel suffered at the hands of Jerry Tyson and Dr. Kelly Neiman. This story will cover the period between the accident and the release of Castle's first true-crime book about his ordeal with the serial killer and his accomplice. The story will be told in three parts and some of it will be told in flashbacks.**

**A/N #3: The title comes from a line in the Gordon Lightfoot song 'If You Could Read My Mind,' which is one of my favorite songs. **

**IN A CASTLE DARK OR A FORTRESS STRONG – PART I**

Chapter 1: Aftermath

_December 20__th__ – 5 a.m._

Kate Beckett Castle had only meant to close her eyes for a second. It was just she was so tired and she'd been waiting for so long. Alexis had fallen asleep in one chair and Martha had fallen asleep in another one. She had checked in on the kids' right before midnight. Jenny Ryan had assured her that both Ariel and Jack were sound asleep. Kate had then talked to Kevin, who had also assured her that the kids were fine. After making arrangements to have them picked up as soon as she had some word about Rick, Kate had hung up and gone back to the waiting room.

She didn't want to go to sleep. If she went to sleep, she'd miss any news on Rick. But her eyes were so heavy and it was so cold in the waiting room. "Mrs. Castle? Mrs. Castle?" She forced her eyes opened at the sound of her name being called.

All three women awoke when they heard the male voice. Kate looked up into the face of a doctor standing above her, dressed in surgical scrubs with a mask dangling from around his neck. "How's Rick? Is he okay?"

"Your husband is out of surgery," the doctor sat in the chair next to Kate as Alexis and Martha quickly gathered next to her. "However, he's far from out of the woods. His heart and lungs were severely bruised in the accident, so for right now, he's requiring a ventilator to breathe."

"How long will he be on a ventilator?"

"I don't know. That's going to depend on him. I'll know more when he regains consciousness. Right now he's going to be transported to ICU."

"When can we see him?"

"As soon as he's moved, I'll let each of you in one at a time to visit him. I'm sorry, but for right now the visits will need to be very brief."

"Thank you," Kate whispered as he got up and walked away. She then embraced her mother-in-law and stepdaughter as all three of them cried tears of relief. "I need to call my father, Capt. Gates and the boys to let them know Castle's condition."

"Darling, why don't you wait until after you see Richard?" Martha suggested.

"Kate, I'll pick the kids up and take them to our apartment after I've seen dad," Alexis offered. "I'm sure that Ariel in particular is probably still terrified. They'll be more comfortable in familiar surroundings."

"Thank you, Alexis," Kate managed a tremulous smile.

Kate felt guilty for not thinking more of her small daughter after the boys had rescued her. At first the terror of what Tyson and Neiman were possibly subjecting her to had overridden common sense. Kate had wanted to go out there and search for her, stopping only after Gates had finally convinced her to let the boys handle it; that her place was with Castle. She could still remember Castle's frantic words to her as they were loading him on the ambulance.

"_He grabbed her, Kate. Tyson grabbed her! She was screaming for me and there wasn't anything that I could do! Kate, you have to find her! Tyson's going to kill her to punish me if you don't! You have to find her!"_

"_Rick, we're going to find her." Her eyes found Capt. Gates standing by Castle's wrecked car with the boys and CSU. _

"_Kate, if he hurts her—"_

"_Ma'am, we need to get him to the hospital," the paramedic informed her._

"_Kate—"_

"_Can you give me just two minutes?"_

"_One would be better. We need to go!"_

_Kate ran over to her team. "Tyson took Ari! I have to go and find her!"_

"_Det. Beckett, we'll find Ariel. You go with your husband," Gates ordered her._

"_Sir, he wants __**me**__ to find her."_

"_And you're wasting precious time standing here arguing with me, Detective. We've got witness statements and we know what to look for. Get out of here! Don't make me tell you again."_

_Kate ran back over to the ambulance, climbing in the bus and sitting at Castle's feet. As if sensing that she was there, he opened his eyes, but instead of being grateful that she was there, he became agitated. "Kate, why are you here? You have to find Ariel. Tyson's going to kill her, Kate."_

"_Rick, Rick, listen to me," she saw his blood pressure spike as the monitor began letting out a series of warning beeps. "Gates ordered me to come with you. Kevin and Javi are going to look for Ari. They're going to find her and then they're going to send Tyson and Neiman back down to hell where they belong."_

It had taken almost three hellish, anguish filled hours before they located Ari and that was only because Kate had remembered the watch. The silly, high-priced gadget Castle had bought their daughter for her fifth birthday had been the one thing that had helped pinpoint her location. Kate would've laughed at the irony if she wasn't so tired and worried sick about her husband.

***CCC***

Kate had insisted that Alexis and Martha go in one at a time to see Castle first. The doctor had been firm about the 10 minute time limit. Both women had come out of the glass-walled cubicle with tears streaming down their faces. Standing outside looking in, all Kate could see of Rick was a bed and a bunch of machinery. She remembered waking up after her shooting to the sight of all of the machines keeping her alive and the memory was terrifying.

"Kate?" Alexis came out of the room, blowing her nose into a tissue. "Do you think that I should call my mom?"

"Sweetie, that's up to you. But, I should remind you that you of all people know what she can be like."

"I'll go and get the kids."

"Alexis, why don't you go home and get a few hours of sleep, first? I'm sure that Brian's anxious to see you. Jack is asleep at Helen and Ari's safe at Kevin and Jenny's. There's no reason to wake them up."

"Okay. Call me if there's any change," Alexis reached out and embraced Kate.

"I will."

Martha had gone to freshen up, so Kate took a deep breath and walked into the ICU cubicle, stopping short when she got her first look at Rick. His broken leg was in traction, there was a ventilator tube coming out of his mouth, there was a sling over one arm. But the worst damage was to his face. He'd suffered several severe lacerations from broken glass and slamming against the steering wheel. They'd had to shave his head in several places to stitch his scalp. She'd seen pictures of concentration camp survivors who'd looked better than Rick did at the moment. A nurse was checking his monitors and noticed that Kate was trying to decide what to do. "I'd say that it looks worse than it is, but that would be a lie. But please don't be afraid to touch him or to talk to him. My name is Kerry, by the way," she smiled pleasantly at Kate.

"I'm Kate. And thank you for not giving me a load of bullshit."

"Well, a lie isn't going to make you feel any better. He's stable, at the moment. If you need anything, come and get me."

"Thank you, Kerry," Kate sat down at Castle's bedside and took his uninjured hand in hers. "You'd like your nurse, Castle. She's nice and not too bad to look at. Giorgio is going to have a fit when he sees what they've done to your hair."

Castle was dreaming and it wasn't a pleasant dream. He could hear Kate's voice, but he wondered why she was here. Why wasn't she out there looking for Ariel? Why didn't she understand that 3XK had Ariel? Somehow he doubted that Tyson and Kelly Neiman were going to take her to the zoo or Central Park.

_The snow was making visibility and traffic a nightmare. He was glad that he'd left Jack with his mother although the toddler always had a blast at his older sister's ballet school. All of the girls doted over the little boy with the brown hair and laughing blue eyes. But it was way too cold to get him out. He'd spoken to Kate right before leaving to pick Ariel up at school and they'd made arrangements to meet somewhere for dinner once Ariel got out of ballet._

_They were stopped at Fifth Avenue and East 123__rd__ Street waiting for the light to change. "Daddy, why is the Flatiron Building like this?" Ariel never tired of looking at the landmark. It was one of her favorites in the city._

"_It's an illusion, baby," Castle told her, just like he did every other time she asked. "We'll look it up on Google when we get home. What do you want for dinner when you get—"_

_His sentence was stopped short by screeching tires and a crashing impact that sent Castle's Mercedes hundreds of feet up the intersection. He could hear Ariel's terrified screams from the backseat. "Daddy, what happened? Daddy, are you okay?"_

_The pain was worse than anything he'd ever felt. He fought to stay conscious, but he felt so sleepy, so warm. He knew that he needed to get Ariel out of the car. Then he felt a blast of cold air from the backseat and figured that someone had read his mind. "Ariel, can you hear me? Go with the person who's helping . . . you. Do you remember mommy's phone number at-"_

_Suddenly, he heard Ariel screaming again, but this time it was a primal scream of terror. "Daddy! Daddy, help me! Leave me alone! Let go of me! Daddy! Daddy! No! Don't! Leave me alone!"_

"_She's a fighter, Castle, but then I knew that she would be," Castle turned his head, screaming at the knives of pain that radiated through his skull and tried to free himself when he saw Tyson yanking Ariel out of her booster seat and tossing her over to Kelly Neiman, who'd been standing next to the car._

"_No! Tyson, let her go! No!"_

The monitors began beeping crazily as Castle's eyes snapped open. "Rick?" Kate's eyes met his. But instead of being reassured by her voice, the beeping intensified. "Rick? Castle, its okay. You need to calm down. Ariel's okay, Rick. Do you understand me? Kevin and Javi found her. She's okay."

"Mrs. Castle, it's time for you to leave," she heard the doctor's voice behind her.

"Rick, I have to go. I'll see you in a little while."

Kate left Rick to the care of the medical staff while she went out into the corridor. She pulled out her phone and saw that she had a text message from her father: **'Checking on Rick. Call me when you can.'**

She walked down the hall, and dialed her father's number. "Hi, Katie. How's Rick?"

"He's in ICU. They have him on a ventilator because his lungs and heart are so badly bruised. He was awake just now, and I told him that Ari's safe, but I'm not sure how much he comprehended. The doctor's with him now."

"You should go home and get some rest," he calmly suggested.

"I can't leave him, dad. He looked so scared just now. I can't leave him," she repeated as her voice choked up.

"I know, but you have to take care of yourself and those babies. Are they okay?"

"I called Jenny at midnight and said that Ari was asleep. I haven't had a chance to check on Jack. Alexis is going to pick them up later this morning and take them to hers' and Brian's apartment."

"Call me if you need anything."

"I will. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She hung up and saw that the doctor was exiting the ICU cubicle. "Doctor, how is he?"

"He's sedated and will sleep for a while. You should go home and get some sleep yourself."

"When can I see him again?"

"Mrs. Castle, you can visit him every hour for 10 minutes, but he's still under anesthesia, plus I've just sedated him. I don't expect him to regain any state of consciousness for at least 12 hours, possibly much longer. His body is trying to heal. Now, I can try to find you an empty bed here in the hospital, but I think you'd be much more comfortable in your own bed. We have your number on file and I'll call you if you need to come back up here."

"Fine," Kate sighed, too tired and bedraggled to argue.

***CCC***

_Two hours earlier at the Ryan household_

"Mom? Mama? Mommy?" Jenny Ryan opened her eyes to find her six-year-old daughter Colleen standing beside the bed.

"Colleen, what's wrong?" She looked at the clock beside the bed and saw that it was almost four in the morning.

"Ariel's crying."

"Jenny, what's going on?" Kevin sleepily rolled over.

"Ariel's crying. Okay, Colleen. I'll be right there," Jenny swung her legs over the side of the bed and grabbed her robe. She went to Colleen's bedroom across the hall, where she'd put Ariel the night before after her and Kevin had brought her home. At the moment, Jack was staying with a neighbor in Castle's building. The little girl was lying on her side, crying in her sleep. "Ariel? Ariel, its okay. You're safe. Nobody's going to hurt you."

Kevin had gotten out of bed after his wife and was now standing in the bedroom doorway, watching her attempting to comfort the little girl. She had been practically catatonic the night before when they'd brought her home. He could still remember how it had felt when she'd literally collided into his and Javi's arms seconds before the car Tyson had been driving blew sky high into the New York night. Her screams had been ear splitting while he'd tried to convey to Gates over his cell phone that she was okay.

But once her screams had stopped, no other sounds left her mouth. She wouldn't speak, she didn't cry. She just stared blankly into space, doing whatever she was guided into doing with the personality of a robot. "Jenny, let me try," he walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. "Ariel, its Uncle Kevin. Auntie Jenny and I brought you to our house the night before. Do you remember?"

"Daddy," she cried out in her sleep.

"Your daddy's going to be okay, sweetie."

She rolled over and faced him, her eyes bleak with misery. "Did that bad man and bad lady go away?"

"Yeah sweetie, they're gone."

"Did you and Uncle Javi shoot them?"

"You know what? It's really late and I'm thinking that your mommy will talk to you later on. Would you like some hot chocolate? Do you think that would help you go back to sleep?"

"I want my daddy," her lower lip quivered as huge tears rolled down her face.

"I know, sweetie. I miss your daddy, too," Kevin fought back tears of his own. He tentatively reached out to rub Ariel's back, not wanting to startle her. As he rubbed her back, he began to softly sing an Irish lullaby to her as Ariel's eyes finally began to drift closed. He stayed at her bedside for several more minutes before finally leaving the room and returning to his and Jenny's bedroom, where Jenny was lying with Colleen, who was fast asleep.

"Did she go back to sleep?" Jenny kept her voice low.

"Yeah. Jenny, that poor baby experienced stuff that no child should ever have to experience. I don't know what's going to happen to them . . . if Castle . . . if he doesn't pull through."

Kevin began to sob as Jenny reached out and pulled him into her arms. "Kevin, it's okay. Rick's tough. He's going to be his old self in no time." 

As Jenny held her husband, she prayed that her words were true. She knew that as far as Kate was concerned, the sun rose and set on Richard Castle. She'd never met a couple more committed to each other, except for her and Kevin.

A few hours later, Kevin got up to the sound of the alarm and got up to shower and dress for work. He checked his cell phone after he'd finished dressing. "Alexis is going to drop by later this morning to pick Ariel up. She said that they got to see Castle for a short while earlier this morning."

"Is Kate still at the hospital?" Jenny asked.

"Knowing Beckett, yeah. I'll try texting her when I get to the precinct. Are you sure that you can handle this? If not—"

"Kevin, I'll be okay."

"Uh, don't ask her any questions. I'm sure that Gate's is going to want to question her, so we don't want her being coached."

"Okay," Jenny nodded.

"I have to go. I'll talk to you soon," he kissed her before she walked him to the door.

Within an hour, the three kids were up. "Mom, I'm hungry!" Three-year-old Liam announced.

"How about pancakes?" Jenny suggested as the little boys' eyes instantly lit up.

"But it's not Sunday," Colleen chimed in.

"But, we have a guest. Ariel, would you like some pancakes?"

Instead of answering, Ariel walked over to the living room window and pulled back the curtain, staring out at the snow-covered ground. She sat down on the floor, pulling the curtain around her as she continued staring outside.

"Mom, why is she acting so weird?" Colleen asked her mother.

"Colleen, that isn't nice. Go get dressed and help your brother get dressed while I make breakfast."

Sitting in front of the living room window, Ariel clenched and unclenched her fists, one of which held a dirty stuffed rabbit. Both hands hurt from scrapes she'd gotten when that bad lady had thrown her out of the moving car. She had gauze wrapped around her leg from road rash suffered at the same time. She also had cuts on her face, but she didn't know where they'd come from.

_Ariel Castle loved the Flatiron Building. She loved it more than the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building. She especially loved it when she was going to her ballet school, because if she was lucky, they would have to stop for the red light and she could stare at her favorite building in wide-eyed awe. _

_She was watching the snow blowing by her window while staring at the landmark. She heard the screeching tires, but she didn't pay much attention because you always heard car horns and brakes screeching in the city. But suddenly, something hit the car so hard that it shook; her daddy's window shattered and the car moved out into the middle of the street where other cars almost hit them._

_She tried to unbuckle the straps on her booster seat, but they wouldn't budge. "Daddy?" Her daddy wouldn't wake up and there was blood running down the side of his head. "Daddy? Daddy, wake up!"_

"_Ariel?" Daddy's voice sounded funny, like he was very tired. "Ariel, are you okay?"_

"_I . . . I think so." She was about to say something else when her door was suddenly yanked open. She turned to see who had come to help her. "Hi. Are you here to help me?" She remembered asking the man who was standing there with a lady. "You should help my daddy first. I think he's hurt."_

"_Don't worry about your daddy," the man took out a huge knife and slashed through the straps on the booster seat. "He's not going anywhere. But, you need to come with us."_

"_Are we going to call my mommy? She's the police."_

"_We know all about your mother, now shut the fuck up," the man sounded like a monster as he grabbed Ariel from her booster seat and thrust her toward the lady standing with him. "Kelly, take the brat!"_

"_No! Let go of me! Daddy! Daddy, help me! No! Leave me alone! Daddy! Daddy!"_

"_Ariel!" Her daddy turned his head toward the backseat to see what was going on._

"_She's quite the fighter, Castle, but I knew that she would be," the bad man said as he and the bad lady quickly made their way toward the crowd that had gathered, all the while Ariel was screaming as loudly as she could, just like her mommy and daddy had taught her to do if she was ever in danger._

_Two men and another lady tried to stop them from taking her, but the bad man pulled out a gun and aimed it at them. They then made their way up to a car. The bad man pointed his gun at the lady behind the wheel, screaming bad words at her as the lady quickly got out of her car and the three of them got in, the bad man tossing an opened duffel bag onto the seat behind them. _

"Ariel," Ariel turned around to find Jenny standing next to her. "Sweetie, why don't you come and have some breakfast? Alexis sent me a text a little while ago. She's going to be here in about an hour. She's going to take you and Jack to her house. She said your mommy will be there later."

Ariel didn't say anything. She just turned back to look out of the window. Jenny stood for a few minutes more before deciding to leave the little girl in peace. She'd known Ariel since the day she was born, and she'd watched the normally happy-go-lucky little girl become an old soul overnight.

Ariel stared out at the white landscape, not really seeing anything. She processed what Aunt Jenny had just told her as only a small child can. Aunt Jenny had said that mommy would be coming to Lex's house, but she hadn't said anything about her daddy. Tears began streaming down her small face. Her daddy had been bleeding so badly. She'd never seen so much blood.

***CCC***

An hour later the doorbell rang. Jenny answered it to find Alexis and little Jack standing there. "Alexis, how's your dad?" Jenny hugged the young woman.

"I talked to Kate a little while ago. She said that he's still heavily sedated and hasn't awakened again. Is Ariel ready to go?"

"Alexis, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jenny looked from Alexis to her 23-month-old half-brother standing at her side. "Jack, come with me. Liam is in the playroom with his Lego's."

Jenny took the little boy out of the room, returning alone a moment later. "Is everything all right? Is something wrong with Ariel?" Alexis asked, following Jenny into the living room.

"She's been behind that curtain all morning," Jenny kept her voice low as Alexis strained to hear. "She refuses to come out and she hasn't said a word. She had a nightmare earlier and we managed to get her back to sleep, but since then . . . I'm worried."

"Well, Kate did say they think that she witnessed everything. That's a lot for an adult to process. I'd hate to imagine what it would be like for a five-year-old. I'll see if I can talk to her." Alexis walked over to the window and pulled the curtain aside, kneeling down beside her little sister, who was still in pajamas she'd borrowed from Colleen. "Ariel, how would you and Jack like to go to my house? You can meet the puppy that Brian got me for Christmas. His name's Rook, like in daddy's book. I was going to make some chicken noodle soup for dinner. You can help me, just like you always do. Would you like that?"

"Is mommy going to be there?"

"Yeah, she said she'll be there this afternoon. She said that Gram's going to stay at the loft with you guys. It's always fun when Gram's there."

"Is daddy going to be there?"

"Ariel, daddy got hurt, remember? He has to stay in the hospital until he gets better."

"Mommy had to stay at the hospital when she had Jack." 

"Yes, she did. You're very smart to remember that. I brought you some clean clothes to wear to my apartment and I can fix your hair the way that your mommy does. Would you like that?"

"Daddy will be home tomorrow." It wasn't a question; it was a statement.

"We'll see," Alexis thought it best not to argue, but not to lie to her, either. "Come on, let's get you dressed."

***CCC***

_Lanie Parish's apartment – 3 a.m._

Lanie sleepily rolled over, reaching out in her sleep for Javi. Her eyes snapped opened when all she felt was emptiness. She sat up, looking around for her sometime sleeping partner. "Javi?" She called out before getting out of bed and exiting the bedroom. She finally found Javi sitting at her small dining table with a bottle of tequila and a glass in front of him. "Javi? Are you okay?"

Javier Esposito didn't answer. His mind was on what had happened the evening and night before.

_He and Kevin had been coordinating with units to try to find the car that Tyson had stolen shortly after the accident that had critically injured Castle. Kate was torn between wanting to be at the hospital with Castle and out on the streets looking for her daughter. "Beckett, every unit in the city is looking for that car," he assured her repeatedly. "Tyson's not going to get away."_

"_He already is getting away, Javi!" She screamed at him. "Why didn't anybody try to get Ari out of the car right after the accident? I know people look the other way in New York, but certainly there had to be one good, decent person who saw that there was a child in that car!"_

"_Someone was trying to get to her," Kevin stared at the floor. "Tyson grabbed the woman and threw her to the street. She suffered a broken arm and facial lacerations. She told LT that she heard Ariel crying for . . . crying for her daddy."_

"_Why isn't anybody calling in with tips?" Kate paced the corridor as Martha and Alexis attempted to calm her. "It's been an hour . . . wait. Oh my god!"_

"_Kate, what's wrong?" Alexis asked, watching Kate pull her phone out and dial._

"_Helen, its Kate . . . I don't know. There's no word. Helen, I need for you to do something for me. Go upstairs to Ariel's bedroom. On her dresser is a Hello Kitty jewelry box. Can you look inside and see if there's a watch inside of it? It will be . . . light pink and the watchband will have little hearts on it. I'll hold on while you look." Kate paced with the phone to her ear while she waited. "Hello? It's not there? Oh, thank god. I have to go!"_

"_Beckett, what's going on?" Javi asked._

"_I'm so stupid!" She ran a hand through her hair. "Castle bought Ari this watch for her birthday. We even had an argument about it. It has a GPS tracker in it. I told him that she didn't need some high-tech gadget to let us know where she was because if she wasn't with us, then she was with someone that she knew. He argued back that with her starting school, we couldn't be too safe. She's wearing the watch."_

"_Are you sure?" Javi asked._

"_It's not in her jewelry box and she's meticulous about putting her things away. If it isn't in there, then she's wearing it. I've got the information saved on my phone. Castle's never going to let me live this down when I tell him about it." She brought up her notepad and found the information regarding the phone._

"_We'll call this in," Kevin said after both men wrote down the coordinates of the watch. "We'll keep you posted, Kate. I promise."_

"_Beckett . . . Kate, the next time you see us, we're going to have the little Chica with us," Espo squeezed Kate's arm._

"_Just be careful doing it," she implored them._

_Neither man spoke after they returned to the car and called the coordinates of the fancy GPS watch in to Gates, who passed the information along to Tori Ellis, the 12__th__ Precinct's Computer/Video Tech. _

_Within minutes, Espo's cell phone rang. He put it on speaker so that Ryan could hear what Gates had to say. "Ryan, Esposito, we're following the GPS coordinates. Right now, they're heading Eastbound on the Long Island Expressway."_

"_Please tell me that the tracker is moving," Espo said._

"_It is moving. I'm going to pass the coordinates to air support. Hopefully a chopper can get their exact location. I'll keep you posted."_

"_Okay."_

_What followed during the next 45 minutes was akin to something out of an action movie. A chopper spotted the stolen car on the Long Island Expressway and kept them in sight as Tyson desperately tried to get away. _

_Ryan was driving like he was at Indy as he fought to catch up to Tyson and his accomplice. They were four car lengths back when they heard tires screech and cars swerve out of the way. "What the fuck?" Espo exclaimed when they saw a body fly out of the car ahead of them. "Ryan, stop the car!"_

"_What the hell?"_

"_That's Little Chica! Stop the fucking car!" Espo threw his door open and jumped out before Ryan had a chance to react._

_Ryan stopped and leaped out after his partner who was already running up the street. Up ahead he could see Ariel lying face down in the roadway, unsure if she was alive or dead. "Ariel! Ariel!" He was relieved when he saw her head pop up, but instead of focusing on him and Espo, she focused her attention on the car she'd just been thrown for. "No, Ariel! Don't look at them!"_

"_Little Chica!" Espo was already running between the stopped cars on the expressway toward the terrified child. "Ariel! Little Chica! Run to me! Come on, baby! Get up and run! Now! Don't look at the car! Look at me! You need to run!"_

_It took her about 30 seconds, but she finally got to her feet and ran as fast as her little legs would carry her. "Uncle Javi! Uncle Kevin! Uncle Javi! Uncle Kevin!"_

_Esposito watched Ryan running toward Tyson's car with his gun drawn as he watched Ariel continuing to run up the roadway toward him. Suddenly, she ran into him so hard that she almost knocked him over. His arms wrapped around her, holding onto her tight as she kept repeating the same words over and over into his ear. Words that filled him with terror. "Ryan, get down! The car is going to blow!"_

_Both men threw themselves to the street as a roar filled the air and the car carrying Tyson and Neiman blew hundreds of feet into the air. Espo hadn't seen an explosion like that since Afghanistan. After several minutes, he managed to disengage Ariel's thin arms from around his neck so that he could look at her. She was bleeding from her hands and a few places on her face. She was crying and screaming as Ryan called Gates. Espo could barely hear his partner over Ariel's hysterical screams. "Sweetie, its okay. You're okay now," he pulled her back into his arms, feeling her arms and legs wrapping around him as he slowly rose to his feet. "We're going to take you to your mommy."_

"Javi, you and Kevin found her. You gave Beckett her baby back," Lanie put her hand on Javi's forearm.

"She's always been our mascot, Lanie. Part Castle and part Beckett. Beckett brings her to the precinct and we'd always find something to get into, like a couple of kids," he said as Lanie couldn't help but smile. "That little girl is gone now. I don't know if she's ever going to come back."

"I know that Ariel's been horribly traumatized, but Kate can talk to people who can help her deal with that. I do think a lot is going to depend on Castle. But, you and Kevin were both Ariel's and Kate's heroes."

"I wasn't a hero, Lanie. I was just doing my job."

"That little girl and her mother aren't going to see it that way. And I'm sure Castle won't see it that way when he hears about it. Come on, let's go back to bed."

***CCC***

_The Castle's loft – 9 a.m. _

Kate unlocked the door and removed her coat. Looking around the living room, the train set and the brightly decorated Christmas tree seemed to mock her. How could it be the most wonderful time of the year when her husband was lying critically injured in the ICU at New York Presbyterian and her five-year-old daughter was severely traumatized? Her phone buzzed and she took it out to look at it. She had a text from Alexis: **'Going to pick Ariel up at Ryan and Jenny's. Will bring her & Jack to my place.'**

Kate thought for a moment before sending a response. **'TY, Alexis. Am going to try to get some sleep. Will try to pick them up around 3.'**

She heard footsteps on the stairs, and looked up to see Martha descending the stairs. "How's Richard?" She came down and embraced Kate before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"He's still sleeping. Oh Martha, he looks so awful," Kate's voice broke and tears immediately came to her eyes.

"I know that he doesn't look like his ruggedly handsome self right now, but darling, he's alive. Right now, you need to just focus on that. My assistant is going to take over my acting classes until Richard is out of the woods so that I can be here to help you with the babies."

"Thank you so much, Martha," Kate gratefully hugged the older woman. "I'm going to take a shower and grab some sleep. I'm going to pick the kids up at Alexis' later this afternoon."

After showering, Kate walked over to their bed and crawled in, hugging one of Castle's pillows to her chest, inhaling his familiar scent. Her thoughts drifted back to a couple of nights before and she found herself smiling at the memory.

_December 17 – 9 p.m._

_Kate unlocked the door and entered the loft, expecting to hear the sound of Castle in his office on his laptop. Instead, she smiled at the sight that she was met with instead. Castle was asleep on the sofa with Jack tucked up into his side and Ari sprawled on his back. Both kids were also sound asleep. The sight never failed to make her feel warm and fuzzy inside. Castle had told her that he called it a puppy pile when he'd fall asleep with the kids like that. _

_He was such a wonderful father. With the craziness that had been going on in the last year with the reappearance of Tyson, he had proven how protective he could be. And while he was more of the 'fun' parent than Kate was, he could be the bad cop when the occasion called for it. _

"_Hey, little man," Kate carefully lifted Jack into her arms as the little boy rubbed his eyes and quickly settled against his mother's shoulder._

_Sensing that Jack was being moved, Castle sleepily opened his eyes. "Hey," he whispered drowsily._

"_Hey yourself. Be careful moving, you have a child on your back. I take it that they begged you to stay up again," she tried giving him a stern look, but one look at his blue eyes and she melted. "Bring Ari up to bed. I've got Jack."_

_She never knew how he managed to wake up and get their daughter without waking her, but Ari never once stirred as he moved and gathered the tiny girl up in his arms, carrying her upstairs to her room. Kate walked into Jack's bedroom, full of Spiderman and Cat in the Hat characters and carried him over to his crib, lowering him into it and carefully covering him as Jack rolled over onto his stomach. She stroked her fingers through his soft hair before quietly leaving the room and going next door to Ari's room._

"_Mommy?" Ari called out sleepily as Kate walked over and sat on the edge of the bed._

"_It's late, chunky monkey. You have school in the morning."_

"_Daddy let us sleep while we watched the Christmas tree lights. We watched Snoopy."_

"_Daddy's the best, huh?" Kate looked at Castle, who simply grinned. "Go to sleep, baby girl."_

_Castle was in bed a little while later when Kate came out of the bathroom and climbed into bed beside him, reaching for him. "Its mommy and daddy time," her lips came over his as he pulled her in closer._

Kate fell asleep to the memory of Rick's hands on her body, his lips moving over every inch of her.

***CCC***

_Alexis' and Brian's apartment _

At Alexis' apartment, Jack chased after the black Lab puppy that Brian had gotten Alexis as a gift. The little boy was oblivious to anything being wrong in his world. Alexis knew that was best. He wasn't quite two years old and he wouldn't understand, anyway. As far as he was concerned, his daddy was on another of his trips. This was something he was familiar with, even as young as he was.

Alexis wished that the same thing could be said for her little sister. Ariel petted the puppy when it came romping over to her, but other than that; she showed no interest in it. Her eyes were unfocused and she would just sit on the sofa or on the floor, staring off into space. Alexis knew that she needed to try to engage her somehow. "Ariel, I was going to make some bread in the bread machine. Would you like to help me?"

"Where's my mommy?"

"She went to your house to sleep for a little while. She'll be here at three o'clock. Do you want me to call her?"

"Why isn't she with my daddy? He'll be scared if he wakes up alone."

"The doctor wanted her to go home and get some sleep. Do you want to help me make bread?"

"Lex, if my daddy's dead, you can tell me."

"Ariel no, daddy isn't dead," Alexis knelt in front of the little girl, with the strange mixture of her dad's and Kate's eyes.

"He's dead and you're all lying to me," she said, her chin set determinedly. "If he's not dead, then take me to see him."

"Well, the room that he's in right now doesn't allow kids to visit. Maybe you can see him in a few days when he's feeling better."

"_I want to see my daddy!" _Ariel shouted at her sister before getting up and storming from the room.

Alexis glanced over to Jack, who was playing with Rook, unaware of his sister's outburst. "Jack, are you hungry? Would you like grilled cheese for lunch?"

The rest of the afternoon passed uneventfully. Ariel eventually came out of Alexis and Brian's bedroom to sit on the sofa and stare blankly at the TV. Jack took a nap after lunch, but was once again awake and playing with Rook. Shortly before three, the doorbell rang. Alexis opened the door to find Kate standing there. "Mommy!" Jack ran and threw his arms around his mother's legs as she stooped to lift him up.

"Hey, little man," Kate kissed his cheek. "What have you been doing?"

"Playing with puppy!" He squealed happily.

"I see you've got a new friend," Kate knelt down as the puppy trotted over. "Alexis, he's adorable. Ari, what do you think of the puppy? Ari?"

"She's not talking much," Alexis said.

"Jack, why don't you play with the puppy while I talk to Sissy?" Kate got up and walked over to sit next to Ari. "How's your leg? Does it still hurt?"

"Where's my daddy?" Ari looked at her mother.

"He's still in the hospital, baby. He misses you and Jack."

"I made chicken noodle soup and homemade bread for dinner," Alexis said. "We can eat as soon as Brian gets home."

"We don't have time for dinner," Ari stood up and pulled on her mother's hands. "We have to go see my daddy."

"Ari, Ari, stop," Kate tried to pull her closer, but Ari resisted. "Baby, you can't see daddy right now. Why don't we go and change the bandages on your leg and your hands?"

"I have gauze and Neosporin in our bathroom," Alexis offered.

"Thanks, Alexis. Come on, Ari."

Kate led Ari into the bathroom and lifted her up onto the vanity. She first unwrapped the thin layer of gauze around Ari's hands. The right hand was more scraped up than the left one, but both of them were covered in road rash as was one leg. She noticed that Ari had a dirty stuffed animal clutched in her hand; a stuffed animal that Kate had first seen the night before when Ari was being examined in the ER. She prayed that Tyson or Neiman hadn't given her daughter the stuffed toy, because if they had, she'd burn it the first chance she got. "Are you hungry? Jenny texted me and told me that you didn't eat breakfast. Did you have lunch?"

"I'll eat when I see my daddy," Ari declared stubbornly.

Kate felt like screaming. Why didn't Ari understand that she couldn't see her daddy right now? And if she did see him, she wasn't going to like what she saw. "Ari, I know that you want to see your daddy, but you just can't right now. I'm sorry. Asking me repeatedly and having a tantrum aren't going to get you your way this time. I'm sorry."

An hour later, they all got ready to sit down for dinner. Alexis placed Jack in the high chair that she kept at her apartment and looked over at Ariel, who was once again sitting on the sofa. "Ariel, come and eat dinner. You have to be starving."

Ariel reluctantly got up and came over to the dinner table, sitting down in her usual chair and staring at her mother. Kate glanced at Ari and quickly looked away. At the moment the look on Ari's face was too much like Castle's when he got angry. The look she'd seen on his face for the first time after he'd 'interrogated' Doug Stevens when Alexis had been abducted. "Ari, did you help Alexis make the bread this time?"

"I'm not hungry! I want my daddy!" The little girl got up so fast that her chair fell over as she ran back to Alexis' bedroom.

"Oh Ari, I want your daddy, too," Kate's eyes filled with tears as she took several deep breaths to keep her emotions together.

"Brian, can you keep an eye on Jack?" Alexis motioned for Kate to follow her from the table. Once they reached the kitchen, the young woman looked at her stepmother. "Kate, she thinks that daddy's dead. She thinks that he's dead and we're all lying to her about it."

"Oh my god. Did she tell Jenny and Kevin that?"

"Jenny said she barely spoke while she was at their house. Kate, I know that she can't see dad right now, so how are you going to convince her that we're not lying to her?"

"Let me go and talk to her." Kate went into the darkened master bedroom and saw Ari lying with her back to her. "Ari?" She sat down and put her hand on her daughter's back. "Ari, please turn over and talk to me." After several minutes, Ari finally turned over and faced her mother. "Sweetie, I know that you want to see your daddy. But right now the doctor's want him to rest and get better."

"The bad man and bad lady made him dead, didn't they?"

"No, sweetie," Kate fought to keep her voice steady. "Your daddy isn't dead. He has a lot of boo-boo's, even more than you have. He has a cast on his leg and on his arm. I bet that when he gets better, he'd love for you to do some of your pretty drawings on them."

"He's really not dead?"

"Ari, I would never, ever lie to you about something like that. In a few days, when he's feeling better I'll take you to the hospital to see him. Okay?" Ari finally nodded her head. "Now, I'm hungry and I'd like it very much if you'd come to the table and eat dinner with the rest of us."

Ari followed her mother back to the table and even managed to eat most of her dinner. Watching her at the table, Kate made a mental note to contact Dr. Burke in the morning to see what he recommended in how to deal with a child experiencing trauma. The parenting books didn't have chapters on what she was facing right now.

It was after seven when she walked into the loft with the two kids. After bathing them, she helped them into bed. Ari went right to sleep, so Kate went into Jack's room where the little boy was standing up in his crib. Smiling, she walked over and scooped him into her arms, settling into the rocking chair with him. She rocked slowly, smelling soap and baby shampoo as Jack settled against her. "Daddy on trip?" He looked up at her, his blue eyes so much like his father's.

"Yeah, daddy's on a trip. He'll be back in a few days. It's time to go to sleep," she kissed the top of his head.

"Tree, mommy."

"No, we're not sleeping downstairs tonight. Come on, it's time for bed. Sissy's already asleep," she got up and laid Jack down, covering him with his blanket. "Goodnight, sweet boy."

Kate walked downstairs, practically sagging from exhaustion. "Katherine, before I forget, Capt. Gates called and left a message for you to call her. She said that it can wait until morning, but she does want you to call her back."

"Thank you, Martha. It's probably just loose ends with the case. Uh, can you keep an eye on the kids? I'm going to go to the hospital to see Rick."

"Katherine, you look like you're about to drop. Why don't you call and check on him? You can visit him first thing in the morning."

"I suppose you're right," Kate rubbed her face before getting up and going into their bedroom, taking out her cell phone to call the hospital. "Yes, this is Kate Castle. I was calling to check on the condition of my husband, Richard."

"Yes, Mrs. Castle," the nurse on the other end answered. "He's still unconscious, but his condition is still critical but stable."

"Thank you. You'll call if anything changes?"

"Oh yes, of course."

"Thank you," she hung up and immediately called Capt. Gates. "Sir, it's Beckett. You wanted to talk to me."

"Det. Beckett, I really didn't want to have to do this, but we're going to need to talk to Ariel."

"Why? When?"

"We have so many differing witness accounts of what happened. Ariel is the only person who can give us an eyewitness account of what happened between the times of the accident to the point where she was thrown from Tyson's vehicle."

"Sir, she's barely speaking about anything. All she keeps saying . . . she just wants her daddy," Kate's voice broke.

Gates' heart felt like breaking as she listened to her normally strong detective. "If I didn't have to do this, I wouldn't. But we need to put this to bed. 1PP wants this wrapped up."

"I'll bring her in the morning. I have to go and see Castle in the hospital, and then I'll swing back by here and pick her up."

"All right, Kate. Get some rest."

Kate ended the call and threw herself onto the bed, sobbing. Was it possible that Tyson was going to continue torturing them even from beyond the grave?

**A/N #4: Sorry that this went on so long, but it was hard to find a good stopping point. Not all of the chapters will be this long. **

**A/N #5: I want to thank my Unmuse Chuck for the title. Even though we're no longer together, you will always be my Unmuse and my go-to guy.**

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	2. Through the Eyes of a Child

**DISCLAIMERS: Sure, Marlowe turned the reins over to me. Just kidding. I own nothing.**

**A/N #1: I forgot to mention that this story is completely AU. I will amend my summary.**

**A/N #2: This chapter will start to explain how Tyson and Neiman began torturing Castle and his family once again. **

**A/N #3: Anybody who knows me on Twitter knows that I have a soft spot for a certain Dr. Sidney Perlmutter, Medical Examiner. In this chapter, I'm going to show that even the non-living loving Dr. Perlmutter has a soft side.**

Chapter 2: Through the Eyes of a Child

It was a little after six in the morning when Kate entered the ICU and headed toward Castle's room. She saw the doctor and two nurses leave the room as she walked toward them. "Dr. Walker? How's Rick?"

"He's still critical. I've got some concerns about his blood pressure. He had several spikes in it during the night. I've hung a unit of whole blood, but I'm going to want to monitor him over the next several hours to see if he possibly needs more surgery."

"Can he survive more surgery?"

"Mrs. Castle, he may not have a choice. I've cut down on the sedation, so hopefully he'll start regaining consciousness."

"What about the ventilator?"

"I've tried to turn down the settings, but so far, he hasn't been able to breathe on his own. I'll wait eight hours and try again."

"Thank you," she turned on her heel and entered the glass-walled cubicle. She took a deep breath as she pulled over a chair and sat at Castle's bedside, taking his hand in hers, brushing her fingers over his knuckles. "They're dead, Castle. Tyson and Nieman. I told Lanie to make damn sure that it's them, but they blew their stolen car sky high. They're still picking up pieces on the LIE. Castle, I need for you to wake up. Wake up and look at me. I know that you're scared and I know that you're in a lot of pain. Ariel's okay, Rick. I mean, physically she's okay. Emotionally . . . I don't know. Gates wants to talk to her later. She's the only person who can fill in all of the blanks." She felt Castle's fingers twitch under hers. "Rick? Castle, can you hear me?"

The tube down his throat was the most uncomfortable thing ever, but every time the doctor had turned down the settings during the night, within seconds he felt as if he was drowning and alarms would immediately go off, startling him and making his heart race. Then he'd hear a hiss and he'd be able to breathe again. He tried to focus on Kate's voice, on her beautiful, wonderful voice. It hurt to turn his head, but he finally managed to turn toward the sound of her voice, letting his eyes slowly flutter opened as he looked into her green-brown gaze. He managed to turn Kate's hand so that it was palm up on the bed and made a letter 'A' into it. "Ari's okay, Rick. She's got some scrapes, but they didn't hurt her. When you're stronger, I'll tell you the whole story of how she got away."

He then spelled out the word 'Hurt' into her hand. "I know, babe. Do you want me to call the doctor to give you something?" He shook his head. "When I leave, I'll tell them to give you something, okay?"

'Don't go,' he spelled out.

"Babe, I can only visit for 10 minutes every hour. I'll come back after I take Ari to the precinct, okay? Alexis said she'll come by on her lunch hour and your mother will be by later this morning. They both send their love," she said as Castle faintly smiled around the ventilator tube. He started to spell Jack's name out in her hand as Kate smiled. "Jack's fine. He thinks you're on a book tour. He's too young to understand the truth. Last night he wanted to sleep under the tree again." Castle's face grimaced in pain as his blood pressure began to rise. "Castle, relax. I'm going to get a nurse to give you something for pain. Then I'll stay until you go to sleep." She rang the call button and a nurse immediately entered the room. "My husband's in a lot of pain."

"He is about due for another dose of pain meds," the nurse left, returning seconds later with a syringe, which she inserted in his IV tubing. "He'll sleep for a few hours."

"Thank you," Kate smiled gratefully before standing up and pressing her lips to Castle's forehead. "I love you, babe. Get some rest."

***CCC***

"Where's mommy?" Ariel walked downstairs, rubbing her eyes sleepily.

"She went to go see your father. She'll be home in a little while. She wants you to get dressed so that you can go to the precinct with her when she gets home," Martha told her granddaughter.

"Why do I have to go there?"

"I'm not sure," Martha hedged. "But I bet that mommy will take you out for lunch after you get done."

"I don't care! I don't want to go to the 12th!" She turned on her heel and bolted back up the stairs.

"Well, that went well," Martha said under her breath.

An hour later, Martha was eating breakfast with Jack when Kate walked into the loft. "Hey, little man," Kate walked over, kissing the top of her son's head. "Where's Ari?"

"Upstairs in her room. I tried to get her dressed, but she's not interested in going to the precinct. Not even the promise of a possible mommy/daughter lunch could interest her. How is Richard?"

"He woke up for a little while. He still has to use the ventilator to breathe, but he managed to spell some questions into my hand. I told him that you and Alexis will be by to visit him later. Right now, I need to go upstairs and get Ari dressed." Kate walked upstairs and into her daughter's room, where she found the little girl in the middle of her bed surrounded by her massive doll and stuffed animal collection. The toys seemed to be enclosing Ari in a protective circle. "Hey, can I sit down?" Kate asked as Ari looked at her and nodded. "Daddy was awake for a few minutes. He misses you and Jack."

"When is he coming home?"

"Not for a few more days, baby. Maybe in a couple of days, when he's feeling better I can take you to see him. Ari, you need to come to the precinct with me for a little while."

"Why?"

"Because Capt. Gates wants to talk to you about daddy's accident."

"No," Ari shook her head furiously. "I don't want to talk about that."

"Ari, I know that what happened was very scary. But the captain needs your help. You're the only person besides daddy who knows everything that happened and right now, daddy can't talk. So, I need for you to be brave. This is very important."

While Kate realized that Ari was very smart for her age, she also remembered that she was dealing with a five-year-old. Not only that, but she was dealing with a child who had been severely traumatized. As her mother, she wasn't about to force her to do something that she wasn't ready to do. If she had to, she'd tell 1PP to go to hell.

But, after a few minutes, Ari crawled over her toy barrier and began taking off her pajamas. Kate got up and walked over to her closet, coming out moments later with a pink jumper and a white turtleneck. Ari pulled out a pair of tights from one of her dresser drawers as between the two of them, they got her dressed. Kate then brushed her long hair and tied it into two pigtails, tying each with a white ribbon.

Martha was cleaning oatmeal off of Jack when Kate and Ariel came downstairs a few minutes later. "Oh, you look so pretty," she exclaimed as Ariel gave her a shy smile.

"Where you going?" Jack wanted to know.

"Mommy and Sissy have to go somewhere. You're going to stay with Gram, okay?"

"I want to go!" The little boy started to cry.

"I know, but you can't go right now. We won't be gone long," she picked him up, smothering his small face with kisses.

Kate put Jack on the floor and walked over to the coat closet to retrieve Ari's coat, helping the little girl into it before they left the loft and walked to the elevator, where Kate let Ari punch the button for the parking garage. But the little girl balked when they stopped next to Castle's SUV. "Is that my chair from the other car?"

"No, sweetie. Come on, it's okay," Kate opened the door and helped her into the booster seat, buckling her in securely before shutting the door and walking to the driver's side. She got behind the wheel and started the engine, pulling out into the snowy street.

"Mommy?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Are the bad man and the bad lady dead? Did Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi shoot them?"

"They're not going to hurt you anymore, Ari."

"Does that mean that you and daddy going to stop talking about them?"

Kate sighed as she watched the road. They had really tried not to talk about Tyson and Neiman when the kids were around, but the serial killer and his psycho girlfriend had invaded their lives like a cancer and there was simply no avoiding the topic. It had all started right before Valentine's Day.

***CCC***

_February 10_

_Castle had been in Minneapolis on a book tour for his latest Derrick Storm book. He was due back the day before Valentine's Day. In the meantime, Kate was having a craft day with four-year-old Ari while 13-month-old Jack was down for a nap. "Why is there Valentine's Day?" Ari asked, coloring furiously on a piece of colored construction paper. _

"_Well, if you ask daddy, he'll tell you it's so he can buy mommy really expensive presents," Kate kissed Ari's neck as the little girl giggled in delight._

"_Why don't Jack and I get presents on Valentine's Day?"_

"_Because it's for grown-ups. When you get a boyfriend, he'll buy you presents and take you to dinner for Valentine's Day."_

"_Boys are yucky," Ari announced. "Tyler is always trying to kiss me at the park."_

"_Does daddy know about this?" Kate asked. _

"_Uh, yeah," Ari said as Kate couldn't help laughing. She sounded so much like her father at that moment. "He said that when boys kiss you, that means they like you. But I don't like him. He's always pulling my hair or trying to kiss me. He's totally gross."_

_Kate bit back more laughter. Their daughter was four going on fourteen. She was about to say something further when the doorbell rang. She opened the door to find a delivery man standing there with a flower box. "Delivery for Kate Castle," he held out the flowers and a clipboard for her to sign._

"_Thank you," she smiled, taking the flowers and closing the door. She walked over to the sofa as Ari got up from the table to follow her. "It looks like daddy is sending me presents early."_

_Kate lifted the lid off of the box to find a dozen long-stemmed red roses. But she stopped short when she lifted the roses and stared at the bottom of the box in stunned horror. At the bottom of the box lay a flash drive. There was no doubt in her mind whom the drive was from. But why now after so many years of not hearing anything? _

"_Can I smell the flowers, mommy? They're so pretty."_

_Kate quickly put the roses back in the box and replaced the lid. "Ari, go and start putting your crayons away, please. Jack's going to be up from his nap soon."_

"_Aren't you going to put the flowers out so that Gram and Lex can see them?"_

"_Ari, do what I asked you to, please."_

_By the time Castle called that night, Kate's already frazzled nerves were shot. "Kate, what's going on?" Castle could hear her agitation the second that he said hello to her._

"_Castle, I got some roses this afternoon. At first I thought that they were from you. But, there was . . . there was a flash drive at the bottom of the box."_

"_What was on the flash drive?"_

"_Castle, I can't listen to it alone! You saw what happened the last time!"_

"_Have you called Gates or the boys?"_

"_No. I want you to hear the flash drive with me first."_

"_Kate, put the phone on speaker and put the drive in your laptop. It's going to be okay."_

_Kate took a deep breath as she booted up her laptop. "How's your trip?" She asked, biding time while she waited for her computer to finish coming up._

"_Cold, lonely. I don't know why anybody would want to live in Minnesota in the winter time."_

"_Okay, Castle. I'm putting the flash drive into my computer now," she inserted the drive and clicked on her 'Removable Storage' icon. _

_Within seconds, music began to fill the room. Kate felt her blood run cold as she listened._

'_Give me some red roses for a blue lady'_

_Neither of them spoke once the song ended. Kate finally broke the silence. "Castle, are you there?"_

"_Give that drive to CSU," he ordered her. "It's going to be okay, Kate. I'll be home in a few days."_

***CCC***

Ari clutched her mother's hand tightly when they walked into the precinct. All of the police walking around made her nervous and she moved closer to Kate's side, practically hiding behind her.

"Beckett! How's Castle doing? Tell him we're all pulling for him!" One of the cops called out as Kate walked toward the elevator.

"I will. Thanks," she punched the 'Up' button for the elevator as she felt Ari practically trying to climb her like a jungle gym. "Ari, are you okay?" Kate lifted her daughter into her arms, feeling tiny arms and legs wrap around her. "Hey, you're shaking. What's going on?" Kate knew how it felt to feel so terrified and out of control.

"Mommy, I don't want to talk about the bad man and bad lady," Ari burrowed her head into Kate's neck. "Please don't make me tell."

They stepped into the elevator and Kate punched the '4' as the elevator went upstairs. "Ari, it's okay. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

***CCC***

_Kate had managed to get the kids to bed early, promising that daddy would wake them up bright and early the next morning. She was sitting on the sofa with her knees tucked up to her chin when she heard Castle's key in the door shortly before nine. She jumped up and ran to the door to meet him. "Hi," her lips instantly crushed to his as he dropped his hand from his suitcase and wrapped his arms around her._

"_Hi yourself," his smile was warm and welcoming as he returned her kiss. "How are you doing?"_

"_Better now that you're home. Uh, did you hire a security detail?"_

"_Why? Did you spot them?"_

"_There's been a new daddy hanging around Ari's school in the afternoons, only strangely, he never seems to pick up a kid. Tell your guy that he needs to blend in a little better."_

"_Okay. Have there been any more strange deliveries?"_

"_No. I gave the flash drive and the flowers to CSU, but they haven't been able to find anything on them. Ryan learned that the flowers were ordered online with a stolen credit card. I just don't get it, Castle. Tyson and Neiman have been underground for more than five years. Why are they resurfacing now?"_

"_I don't know. But, I'm home now and I'm going to keep my family safe."_

"_Uh, like I can't keep my family safe," she made a face as he laughed and kissed her._

"_**We'll **__keep our family safe, how's that?"_

"_Better."_

***CCC***

"Hey, guys," Kate stepped off of the elevator and over to the boy's desks with Ari still wrapped around her.

"Beckett," Espo looked up. "Hey, Little Chica," he reached up to touch Ariel's back as she visibly shrank back from him.

"Ari, how about some gummy bears?" Kate suggested. "I think that I might have some in my desk. Would you like to go and see?"

Ari nodded eagerly as Kate put her down and watched her scamper over to the drawer in her desk where she always kept candy and stuff for the kids when they visited her. "What's going on?"

"Gates wants to talk to Ari, but she doesn't want to talk."

"Hey Beckett, maybe if she talked to Karpowski or even LT, maybe she'd be more willing to open up," Ryan suggested. "She doesn't know them as well, so maybe she'd be more comfortable."

"It's worth a shot. Let me talk to Gates first." Kate got up and walked over to Ari, who was stuffing her mouth with gummy bears. Kate grabbed a few, putting them in her mouth as she looked at her daughter. "Ari, I have to go talk to Capt. Gates for a few minutes. Would you like to play Angry Birds on my computer until I come back? I promise that I won't be long."

"Can I draw on your murder board?"

"Let me see if we can find you an empty space," Kate walked over to the white board, examining it before she erased a small section. "Ari, you can draw on this part right here. Don't draw where there's writing. Okay?"

"Okay," Ari picked up a marker and began to draw.

"I'll be right back," Kate kissed the top of Ari's head before walking over to Gates' door and knocking on it. "Sir?"

"Det. Beckett, please come in."

"Sir, I've brought Ariel with me, but she's still too scared to talk. Ryan suggested that maybe she'd feel more comfortable talking to Det. Karpowski or even LT. She doesn't have the relationship with them that she has with all of you."

"It's worth a try. I was thinking that if that doesn't work, we can contact a child psychologist for some ways to reach her."

"I was also thinking about that," Kate agreed. "Let me see if I can get Ari to talk to Karpowski or LT. I'll let you know how it goes in a few minutes."

Gates followed Kate out of the office and over to the white board where they watched Ari drawing. It was obviously the crude drawing of a child, but it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what it was. It was a stick drawing of three people, two bigger stick drawings and a smaller stick drawing. One of the bigger stick drawings was pointing what looked to be a gun at the smaller stick figure. Kate took a deep breath to keep from sobbing as she knelt down. "Hey sweetheart, what're you drawing?"

"The bad man, and me, and the bad lady. He had a gun like yours and he shot at a man who tried to stop us."

"Ari, did the bad man say anything to you?"

"You told me that I wouldn't have to talk about that," she turned to glare at her mother and Capt. Gates.

"Ari, I know that you're scared. You saw them hurt daddy."

"No, I didn't."

"Ariel, would you like to talk to someone else?" Gates asked.

"No. I want to go home. But can we see my daddy first?" Ari turned toward Kate.

"We'll talk about that, okay? Ari, do you remember what I told you about being the only person who can tell us what happened to you and daddy?"

"No," the small girl shook her head with huge tears in her eyes. "It's too scary. Please don't make me tell."

"Take her home, Detective," Gates had to rush out of the bullpen so that the emotion on her face wouldn't be seen.

"Come on, chunky monkey. Let's go home to Gram and Jack." Kate took Ari by the hand and led her over to the elevator. "Do you want to go downstairs to see Auntie Lanie first?" She asked as Ari solemnly nodded.

Ari's daddy had taken her to the room where the dead people were kept in drawers. She wanted to see if the bad man and the bad lady were in the drawers. She wanted to make sure they couldn't hurt her daddy, anymore.

Lanie was in her office when Kate walked in with Ari in tow. "Hey, girlfriend," Lanie walked over and hugged Kate. "How is he?"

"About the same," Kate glanced down at Ari.

"Hey, sweetie," Lanie hugged her goddaughter. "How would you like to play on my tablet while your mommy and I talk?"

Lanie went into her office and brought her tablet out to Ariel, who sat in a swivel chair and brought up the app for Angry Birds while she watched her mother follow her godmother back into her office. They kept the office door opened so that Ariel could see them and they could see her. "Lanie, why can't they wean him off of the ventilator?" Kate's voice was shaky as she glanced back out at Ariel, who was still playing on the tablet.

"Sweetie, Castle has some massive injuries. You told me yourself that his heart and lungs were bruised in the accident, right?"

"Yes."

"It takes time for those injuries to heal. Has he been awake since the accident?"

"Lanie, stop calling it an accident! They tried to murder him and my daughter!"

Hearing her mother's raised voice made Ariel glance up from the tablet. The bad man and bad lady were making her mommy sad, too. Daddy would be mad if he knew mommy was upset. She'd heard daddy tell Gram once that when mommy was upset, he was upset.

Quiet as a mouse, she placed the tablet on the desk and got up out of the chair, leaving the room and walking down the corridor toward the room where the dead people were kept in the drawers. She remembered when daddy had shown her the room, but he'd made her promise to never tell her mommy or Auntie Lanie that she'd been in there. He'd told her that they'd be mad if they found out. She pulled on the door handle, but the double doors were locked. She looked up and saw a box with numbers on it like on the alarm at home. She kicked the door in irritation before turning and sliding down to the floor, as tears slid down her face.

Dr. Sidney Perlmutter was on his way out of the morgue when he saw the little girl sitting on the floor in front of the autopsy room. He didn't know the child well, but he knew that she was Det. Beckett's daughter. He walked toward her, wondering why she was out in the hallway alone. "What're you doing out here? Does your mother know that you're here?" He looked down at her.

"My daddy got hurt." 

"I know. I heard about that and I'm sorry. But that doesn't answer my question. Why are you sitting out here?"

"I wanted to see if the bad man and the bad lady are in the drawers. My mommy is upset and my daddy wouldn't like that. Are they in there?"

Dr. Perlmutter may have preferred the dead to the living, but off duty, he was a husband and a father. It pained him to imagine what Beckett and her family were going through right now. He sat down so that he was sitting beside Ariel. "Your name's Ariel, am I right?"

"Yes."

"Ariel, the bad man and the bad lady who hurt your daddy are in that room, but I can't let you in there to see them. It's against the rules. But, if they're in there, it means that they're both dead and they can't hurt your daddy or anybody else ever again. Okay?"

"Do you promise?"

"Yes, I promise. Come on, let's go and find your mother."

"Are you going to tell her where I was?"

"I won't, if you promise that I won't find you here again."

"You won't," Ari got to her feet as Perlmutter also got up and the two of them began walking toward Lanie's office.

Back in Lanie's office, the two women were still chatting. "How's Ariel handling things?"

"She's terrified to talk about it. Lanie, two days ago, she acted so much like Castle that at times it drove me crazy having two of him underfoot. But now, she's like a mini-me. The way that I was when I met Rick." She frowned when she looked out of the door and noticed Ari was missing. "Where did she go?"

"Maybe she went to the bathroom," Lanie suggested as they got up.

"She doesn't know where the bathroom is down here," Kate bolted out of the office. "Ari! Ariel! Where are you?"

"I believe this young lady belongs to you," Perlmutter walked in, guiding Ariel by the shoulders. "She was looking for the restroom and got lost," he looked down as Ariel gave him a grateful half-smile.

"Thank you, Perlmutter," Kate sighed. "Come on, sweetie. Let's go home to Gram and Jack."

Lanie waited until Kate left before facing her colleague. "She wasn't looking for the restroom, was she?"

"I found her sitting on the floor outside of the autopsy room. She wanted to see the bad man and the bad lady who hurt her daddy. I didn't think Det. Beckett needed to hear that."

"No, she didn't."

"How is Castle?"

"At the moment, fighting for his life."

***CCC***

That afternoon, Kate arranged for her neighbor Helen to keep the kids while she and Martha visited Rick. When they got to the hospital, she insisted that Martha go in to see her son first. Martha sat in a chair, rubbing Richard's hand as she watched the numbers on the monitor flash and listened to the rhythmic beeps.

Looking at her son, Martha could still see the little boy she'd raised by herself, helped occasionally by a passing parade of stepfathers, some who were more memorable than others, but none of which could really be considered a father figure for her often rambunctious son. But she'd watched him grow into a caring, considerate man, who had a deep love for his family. After two failed attempts, she was glad to see him happily settled with Kate, who she loved like a daughter. And she loved watching him as a father to his three children.

Richard could feel the touch of his mother's hand and struggled to open his eyes. Finally he moved his head so that he could look at her, giving her a small smile. "Richard, you look like hell, if I could speak so frankly," Martha gave him a wan smile.

He blinked his eyes to show her that he knew. Being unable to communicate sucked. But his body was so heavy; it was easier just to sleep. He squeezed her hand lightly and went back to sleep.

Out in the corridor, Kate stopped Castle's doctor. "Dr. Walker, could I talk to you for a moment?"

"Mrs. Castle, your husband's condition is slightly improved from this morning, but he's still extremely critical."

"Doctor, our five-year-old daughter was in the car when it was hit. She keeps asking to see her father."

"Mrs. Castle, I can't allow you to bring a child into the ICU. I'm sorry, but once he's moved out of here, you can bring her to visit."

"Doctor, you don't understand. She witnessed the whole thing. We've all told her that her father is alive, but I don't think she believes any of us. I just want to bring her in to see him for two minutes. Just long enough for her to see him and maybe touch him. I think it could benefit both of them. After the wreck, she was taken by the people who hit the car. He couldn't protect her from them."

"Mrs. Castle, I can't have a child coming in here and freaking out."

"Ari's very smart for her age. I can prepare her for what she's going to see. Please let me bring her up here."

"If you bring her up here in the morning, I can let her go in for five minutes. No longer."

"Five minutes is all that I need. You just said that Castle's improved slightly from this morning. In what way?"

"I finally managed to get the settings turned down on the ventilator. He's taking some breaths on his own."

"So, does that mean he could be coming off of it soon?" Kate asked in a hopeful voice.

"Hopefully in the next 48 hours. I'll try to turn it down further in the morning. Let's just say that I'm now cautiously optimistic regarding your husband's recovery."

"Thank you," Kate took his hand and shook it, breathing a huge sigh of relief. For the first time in more than two days, she felt like the weight was starting to lift off of her shoulders.

When she went in to sit with Castle a short time later, the first thing she noticed was the sound of the ventilator was different. It took five breaths now for every one of Castle's, but it was wonderful to hear him finally take a breath; to assist the mechanical device assisting him. "Hopefully by this time tomorrow, Castle, you'll be rid of this thing. I know how uncomfortable it is. I know how happy you're going to be to be rid of it."

Castle's eyes remained closed as he listened to Kate. He was happy to be able to breathe, although sporadically. Right now, it was one of the few things that he was grateful for. He could feel Kate's fingers softly stroking the back of his hand. For some reason, it took him back in time to that first time she'd ever taken his hand. That had also involved the man that they all came to know as 3XK. Maybe he shouldn't have challenged him. Maybe he should've just let him leave that hotel room.

Kate felt Castle's fingers twitch spasmodically under her hand. "Shh," she soothed him. "Rick, it's okay. Are you in pain?"

His head slowly turned toward her as his eyes opened. He lifted his hand up, touching Kate's face as her eyes filled with tears. "Hey," she smiled, her voice shaky with emotion. "I just talked to Dr. Walker. He says that you're going to be okay. Or, I should say, he feels 'cautiously optimistic' about your recovery. He's given me permission to bring Ari up here in the morning for a few minutes."

His eyes darkened as he gave a slight shake of his head. "Castle, it's okay. She's so scared, Rick. I can't reach her. I think she thinks that you're dead and we're all lying to her about it. I also think that you need to see her; to know that she's okay. They didn't hurt her, Castle. At least not physically. But, we're going to help her to be herself again." She saw his eyes close and saw him wince in pain as the numbers on the monitor shot up. "I'm going to ring for a nurse. I don't want you fighting the pain. Let them give you pain relief if you need it."

After the nurse came in and injected something in his IV tubing, Kate sat by his side, holding his hand and watching him sleep until she was finally forced to leave. Martha looked up when Kate stepped out of Rick's room. "How is he?"

"He's asleep. I'm going to bring Ari up here in the morning for a few minutes. I think that she needs to see him."

"Kiddo, I've never interfered with how you and Richard have raised the children, but do you really think it's wise for Ariel to see her father with so many wires coming out of him? Not to mention that ventilator. That thing scared me the first time that I saw it. I can't even imagine seeing it through the eyes of a small child."

"Martha, I think that Ari needs to see her dad; but I also think that Rick needs to see her. He needs to see her to know that he didn't fail her that night."

"I won't argue with you, but I just want you to know that I don't agree with your decision."

"And I note your objection," Kate stiffened her spine as the two women walked toward the elevator.

When they reached the apartment building, Kate stopped two floors below the loft to pick up the children at Helen's apartment. Helen Dubcek was a Russian immigrant that Kate had met when she was at the park one day with Ari. Helen had been there with her two grandchildren and Kate had heard her speaking Russian to one of them. The older woman was pleasantly surprised when Kate started conversing with her in flawless Russian and a fast friendship was formed. Their neighbor had been indispensible during Kate's pregnancy with Jack and for the first few months after his birth when Kate was trying to get her strength back.

Helen opened the door to Kate. "How is Mr. Richard?"

"He's a little better," Kate smiled. "Are the kids ready to go?"

"Jack is playing with Braxton in his room. Ariel is over there," she pointed to her sofa where Ariel was sitting with a gray striped cat in her lap.

Kate walked over to the sofa, watching as Ari absentmindedly stroked the cat. "Hi, sweetie," she sat down and kissed her on top of her head. "Who's your new friend?"

"His name's Tommy. He likes me. Did you see my daddy?"

"Yes, I did. So did Gram."

"Mommy, when can I see him? When is he coming home? I miss him. This isn't like when he's on a book tour. I want my daddy," she began to cry as the cat jumped from her lap and fled.

"I know that you miss him, baby," Kate picked her up and held her. "I talked to daddy's doctor and he said that you can visit daddy for a few minutes tomorrow."

"Really? I can really see him?" Ari visibly brightened.

"Ari, I need for you to listen to me. Right now, daddy doesn't look exactly like himself. He has a big tube in his mouth to help him breathe. It's a little scary looking, but it'll be coming out before he comes home. The doctor also had to shave some of daddy's hair because he had to get stitches in his head. And because daddy has the tube in his mouth, he's not going to be able to talk to you. But, you can talk to him. You can touch him and you can hold his hand. Do you still want to go and see him?"

"Can Jack go, too?"

"No, sweetie. I had to get special permission for you to see daddy. Jack's too little. Right now, he doesn't understand that daddy's hurt. He thinks that daddy's away on a trip. I don't want you to tell him anything different, okay?"

"You want me to lie to him? You and daddy told me that lying is bad."

"This is something that's called a white lie. It's a lie that you tell so that you don't hurt someone's feelings. Jack's just a baby, Ari. Right now, he doesn't need to know the truth."

"Okay," Ari adored her little brother and was very protective of him. "Can I draw daddy a pretty picture?"

"Why don't we wait a few days? Right now, he's in a special room and there's no room to hang up your drawings. But he's going to be so happy to see you," Kate smiled. "Now, how would you and Jack like pizza for dinner?" Ari smiled and nodded. "Okay, pizza it is."

"Mommy, are we still going to have Christmas? Daddy loves Christmas and I don't want to have Christmas without daddy."

"I'll talk to Gram, Grandpa Jim, and Alexis about having a special Christmas when daddy comes home from the hospital. Would you like that?" Ari smiled again, hugging her mother around the neck. "Okay, let's get your brother and go home."

***CCC***

An hour later, the doorbell rang just as the kids were finishing up with dinner. Kate opened it to find Alexis and Brian standing there. "Kate, Gram called me and she sounded upset. Can we go and talk somewhere?"

"Hey, guys," Brian walked over to the table and sat down with the kids. "Is this pizza for just you two or can I grab a slice?"

"You can have a slice," Ariel offered.

Kate and Alexis went into Castle's office and closed the door. "Gram said that you're taking Ariel up to the hospital in the morning to see dad. Kate, do you really think that's a good idea? I'm grown and seeing him that first time freaked me out. How do you think it's going to affect her?"

Kate suddenly felt very tired. She was tired of being the strong one. But she was especially tired of having to defend her actions. "Ari cries for her daddy constantly, Alexis. I'm aware that his appearance is likely going to frighten her, but she needs some assurance that he's still alive. I'm so tired of feeling like I constantly have to defend my actions where our children are concerned."

"Kate—"

"No, I get it! I don't mean to upset you and your grandmother. But I have to think of what I feel is best for Ari. And right now, what's best for her is to see her father."

"I'm sorry, Kate," Alexis walked over and wrapped her arms around her stepmother. "I don't know what I'd do if I was in your shoes. How did it go at the precinct this morning?"

"It didn't," Kate sighed. "Speaking of which, I need to make some phone calls."

"If you'd like, I can pick the kids up on Christmas Eve—"

"Oh, before I forget, Ari suggested today that we wait to celebrate Christmas when your dad comes home."

"I like that," Alexis smiled. "After all, dad loves Christmas."

"Yes, he does," Kate agreed.

Later that night, Kate was curled up on the end of the sofa, looking through a photo album of family pictures when she heard a key in the door, followed by Martha walking in. "Hey, Katherine," the older woman closed and locked the door. "What're you doing?"

"Taking a stroll down memory lane," she smiled as Martha came over and sat down beside her. "We make beautiful babies, don't we?"

"Yes, you do. Kiddo, Richard is going to come out of that hospital and you're going to make more beautiful babies or else you'll just practice a lot," she said as Kate blushed and bit her lip.

"Martha, I'm sorry if I upset you earlier—"

"No, I'm sorry for questioning your mothering abilities. You're Ariel's mother and you know her better than the rest of us do. I think Richard also needs to see Ariel, and to know that she's safe."

"Speaking of Richard, I spoke to Dr. Walker earlier. He said that they were able to turn the ventilator down further. He's hopeful that they'll be able to remove it by tomorrow."

"Oh, that's wonderful," tears came to Martha's eyes as she embraced Kate. "I'm going to go to bed. You should get some rest, too."

"I will. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

The next morning, Ari looked around as she stepped off of the elevator with her hand clasped in her mother's. Her heart pounded with excitement as they walked toward her daddy's room. Before they walked into the room, Kate knelt down in front of her small daughter. "Do you remember what I told you last night? You have to be careful of daddy, but you can hold his hand. You can talk to him, but he can't talk to you right now."

"Because of the tube in his mouth," Ari stared at her mother, wide-eyed.

"That's right. Are you ready?" Kate asked as Ari took a deep breath and nodded. "You have to be very quiet, okay?"

Ari nodded as her mother slowly led her into the room. She stopped short when she saw the bed and a lot of computers surrounding the bed. Kate looked down and could see Ari hesitating, mulling the situation over in her head much like she often did. After about a minute, Kate guessed that the desire to see her father won out because Ari pulled her toward the bed.

The tube was huge and everything was so noisy. Ari wasn't sure what to do first, so she looked up at her mother for guidance. "You can hold his hand and I know that he'll hear you if you talk to him."

Kate lowered the bedrail to make Castle more accessible to his daughter. Ari stepped up and put her tiny hand on top of her father's much larger one. "Daddy, please wake up. You have to get better. Me and Jack miss you. Daddy, please wake up," Ari began shaking her father's hand.

"Ari, hold on a second," Kate lifted Ari up and carefully placed her on the bed. "Be very careful, because daddy is very sore." 

Castle felt a slight pressure against his broken ribs, but then he felt a small arm stretch over his chest and he felt the wetness of tears against his shoulder. He opened his eyes and looked down, tears filling his eyes at the sight of Ariel lying against him. Somehow he managed to free his arm from under his daughter to lay it over her, holding her close to him. He could feel her tiny body shaking with sobs, which made him and Kate both start crying, too.

As he felt his young daughter crying against his chest, Castle's mind kept going back to that night. All he could hear was Ariel's frantic screams for his help when Tyson grabbed her. The feeling of helplessness had overwhelmed him. He opened his eyes and met Kate's, motioning for her to take Ariel.

"Ari? Ari, come on. Daddy needs to rest," Kate lifted Ari from the bed as Ari started to protest. "Ari, stop. I told you that you could only stay a few minutes. Let's go and find Gram. Do you want to give daddy a kiss?"

Ari nodded, so Kate lowered her so that she could place a soft kiss on Castle's bristly cheek. "Can I come back tomorrow?" She sobbed as Kate carried her from the room.

"We'll see," Kate was grateful to see Martha standing outside of the ICU cubicle. "Gram's going to take you home, sweetie. I'm going to visit daddy for a few minutes and then I have to go to work. I'll see you later. I love you."

When she returned to Castle's bedside, it was obvious that he was in a great deal of pain. She worried that Ari lying against him had aggravated his broken ribs. After ringing for a nurse, she sat by him as the shot took effect. It was only after he was asleep that she left to go to work.

***CCC***

When Castle next opened his eyes, his doctor was standing there with one of the nurses. He felt himself starting to panic when he saw the doctor messing with the dial on his ventilator. He knew that he was taking more breaths on his own, but he still worried each time the doctor changed the setting. Would the alarms go off again? Would he once again feel like he was drowning?

This time, instead of turning down the setting, Dr. Walker completely switched off the ventilator. After what seemed an eternity, the doctor finally spoke. "Mr. Castle, we're going to pull out the ventilator tube. On the count of three, I want you to take a deep breath and blow it out like you're blowing out candles on your birthday cake. Are you ready?" Dr. Walker asked as Castle nodded. "Okay, here we go. One . . . two . . . three!" The doctor yanked the tube from Castle's throat as the author gagged and coughed. "Nurse, give Mr. Castle some water."

Nothing had ever tasted as good as that room temperature water. Castle took a few sips and sagged tiredly against his pillows. "My daughter."

"What about your daughter?"

"Why did you let my wife bring her in here this morning? She didn't need to see me with that . . . thing in my throat," Castle rasped.

"That's something that you'll have to take up with your wife."

"Oh, believe me, I intend to."

As he closed his eyes, Castle found himself wondering just what in the hell Kate had been thinking by bringing their young daughter in to see him. And why had she lied to him by telling him that Ariel hadn't been injured? He'd seen the marks on her face. Last, he wondered what had happened to Tyson and his cohort. If they weren't dead, they'd soon be wishing that they were.

**A/N #3: In the next chapter, Castle begins the painful process of rehab.**

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	3. Storm Clouds on the Horizon

**DISCLAIMERS: Alas, I am not the new Showrunner. Congratulations, David Amann. I'm sure that you're going to do a great job.**

**SUMMARY: Castle begins fighting growing feelings of rage and helplessness. Meanwhile, Kate seeks help for Ariel.**

**A/N #1: I love it when we see the dark side of Richard Castle. The very first episode I noticed Dark Castle was in 'Famous Last Words' when he and Beckett learned the true meaning behind Sky Blue's last song.**

**A/N #2: The back story behind Tyson and Neiman will also continue.**

Chapter 3: Storm Clouds on the Horizon

_December 22_

"They removed the respirator," Kate smiled broadly as she stepped up to Castle's bedside. "How do you feel?"

"How long have I been here?" Castle asked, ignoring her question.

"Three days. Has Dr. Walker said when they're going to move you out of ICU?"

"I thought that you told me that Tyson and Nieman didn't hurt Ariel," his eyes were dark and stormy as he fixed them on his wife. "Kate, she has scratches all over her face. How did she get the marks on her face?"

"I don't know. Ari won't talk about what happened after they took her from the car. I've got a call in to Dr. Burke—"

"Great! Now you're going to take our daughter to a shrink!" He began to cough as he fought to catch his breath.

"Rick, you need to calm down. Please let me finish. She has some cuts and scrapes. Kelly Neiman threw Ari out of the car right before Tyson blew it up. But Ari's too traumatized to tell any of us what led up to that moment. 1PP wants to wrap this up. They've been pushing me to make her accessible to them—"

"Son of a—"

"Rick, stop," she reached out and rubbed his hand to calm him down. "Again, let me finish. I tried to take her to the precinct. I thought that she was going to talk, but she pulled out of it at the last minute. I've got a call in to Dr. Burke to see if he can recommend someone that specializes in childhood trauma."

"Why did you bring her here this morning? Did you stop to think of what it would be like for our daughter to see me with a tube sticking out of my mouth? Did you stop to think that maybe you've made a bad situation worse?" He began to cough again as Kate held a cup of water out for him.

"Castle, Ari's been crying for you for three days. She saw you in that car, hurt and bleeding. At first she thought that you had died and we were keeping it from her."

"Ariel didn't need to see me like that," he hissed. "You should've waited a few days."

"Is that the only reason why you're so angry?"

"Kate, I couldn't protect her," he wiped at his eyes. "I couldn't protect you, or Jack. Those two psycho's invaded our lives like a cancer and there wasn't a fucking thing either of us could do about it."

"Well, they're both gone now. Ari's okay and you're going to be okay. We're going to wait to celebrate Christmas when you come home. It was Ari's idea."

Castle closed his eyes tiredly. He didn't want to think about Christmas at this point. He just wanted to be able to breathe normally and without pain. "How long did they have her?"

"Castle, why don't you get some rest? We can talk about what happened later."

"I'll be glad when they move me so that you don't have to run off. I miss you."

"I miss you, too," she bent down and softly kissed him."And I love you. I'm so sorry that I upset you by bringing Ari up here."

"Kate, you didn't upset me. I just didn't want to frighten her. I tried to get to her, Kate," he sobbed.

"Shh. Castle, I know that you tried to get to her. Nothing that happened is your fault. I know that if you could've rescued Ari, you would have," she heard his quick intake of breath and wondered how long it had been since he'd had pain medication. "Castle, how bad is the pain?"

"It's about a seven."

"Castle, its okay to admit when it's a 10," she ran a hand over his forehead gently. "I learned that pretty quickly after I got shot. Let me ring for a nurse."

When Kate stepped out of the room after Castle fell asleep, she saw Dr. Walker at the nurses' station. "Good evening, Mrs. Castle. Depending on how Mr. Castle does tonight, we'll probably be moving him into a regular room sometime tomorrow morning."

"That's good, isn't it?"

"That's very good. I'm going to make a rehab schedule for him and hopefully get him on crutches in a day or two. It's important that we get him vertical as quickly as possible."

"I know. I remember those days," she winced at the memory of getting out of bed for the first time after her shooting. "I'm still concerned about his breathing."

"He's going to experience some difficulty due to the bruising. But the bruising should start to improve over the next few weeks. I'm not going to have him running marathons, Mrs. Castle. We'll start him with some breathing exercises and eventually some strength exercises to rebuild his stamina."

"When do you anticipate him being released from the hospital?"

"Not for at least another couple of weeks."

"Thank you."

***CCC***

Kate checked her watch when she got off of the elevator and came around the corner to unlock the door. It was shortly after seven, which meant that hopefully the kids would have had their baths and be ready to go to bed. However, she heard Ari's angry voice the second that she entered the loft. "Where is she? What did you do with her?"

"Ariel, please calm down. I don't know where Jane is," Kate could hear her mother-in-law trying to be the voice of reason.

Kate took the stairs two at a time, entering her daughter's bedroom to find Ari stomping around her room, clearly in a panic while Martha tried to cajole her. Once again, Kate saw that her daughter's dolls and stuffed animals were arranged in a circle in the middle of the bed. "Ari, what's wrong?"

"Mommy, you have to help me find Jane! She's missing!"

Jane had been one of Ari's favorite dolls and Kate knew exactly what had happened to the doll, only she and Castle had been stalling Ari about her whereabouts for months. "Ari, do you remember when I told you that daddy and I had to send Jane to be fixed?" Kate looked at Ari, who was fixing her with huge, suspicious eyes. "Well, she was too broken for them to fix her. But I can take you to FAO Schwarz on Saturday and you can pick out a new doll."

"You told me that they'd fix her!" Ari began throwing her toys onto the floor in a blind rage. "You promised!"

"Ariel, I'm sorry," Kate tried to take Ari into her arms, but she was met with resistance. "I'm so, so sorry. I know that Jane was your favorite."

Ari threw herself into what remained of her circle of dolls on the bed and began to sob as if her heart was breaking. Kate looked to Martha for guidance, but the older woman only shook her head, at a loss as to what to do. "Richard was often melodramatic, but I don't think I ever witnessed a meltdown of this magnitude. What did happen to the doll?"

"Not now," Kate shook her head. "Is Jack asleep?"

"Yes, but I don't see how he's sleeping through this racket."

"Let me get her to bed and then I'll be downstairs."

"I'll make us both some tea. I think we could both use it."

Kate sat down in the middle of the toy circle beside Ari and slowly began to rub her back as the sobs eventually dwindled to sniffles. It was only after she'd sufficiently calmed down that Kate lifted her into her lap, rubbing her back as Ari curled against her mother's chest. Eventually the little girl popped her thumb into her mouth as Kate kept holding her, humming to her softly as she rubbed her back. "Can I get a really big doll?" She murmured sleepily.

"You can get a doll bigger than you, if that's what you want. We'll go on Saturday. Ari, can I ask you a question? Why are your dolls in a circle?"

"Safe," was all she said.

Looking down, Kate saw that Ari had fallen asleep, still with her thumb in her mouth, something she hadn't done in over two years. Fighting back tears, she managed to get up and move Ari to her pillows after moving most of the dolls off to one side. She listened to her firstborn child take deep shuddering breaths, smoothing her hand over her tousled hair.

After making sure Ari was sound asleep, Kate left the room to go downstairs. On her way downstairs, her phone rang. She looked at it, grateful to see that Dr. Burke was returning her call. "Hello?"

"Kate, I got your message. Is everything all right?" The doctor's deep voice came over the line.

"Not exactly. Castle and our daughter were involved in a situation a few days ago."

"I know. I read about it in the newspaper. I read that Castle was seriously injured. How is he doing?"

"He's slowly improving, but I'm calling about Ariel."

"Kate, I don't treat civilians and I definitely don't treat children."

"I know. I was hoping that you could possibly recommend someone to me who does. The police are anxious to talk to her, but she refuses."

"That's understandable. Let me make a few phone calls and I will call you in the morning."

"Thank you," Kate said as she ended the call.

She walked downstairs where Martha was fixing two mugs of tea. "I know that you probably feel more like Scotch, but let's stick with tea. How's Ariel?"

"Asleep. She hasn't sucked her thumb since before I had Jack, but that's how she went to sleep tonight. Oh god, Martha," Kate rubbed her hands over her face, "she's so little and she's so scared. I don't know how to do this!"

"Katherine, a parent never has all of the answers. If we had all the answers, there would be no kids in prison. You're doing the best that you can under very trying circumstances. If there is one thing that I've learned, it's that children are incredibly resilient. They handle situations much better than we do."

"They were targeting her," Kate's voice was so low that Martha had to strain to hear her.

"Who? Tyson and Neiman?" Martha asked as Kate nodded. "Katherine, why didn't you and Richard say anything?"

"Gates and the FBI thought that the less family who knew about it, the better. They worried that Ari would find out and she'd be scared."

"When did you learn that they were targeting Ariel?"

"When we came back from Vermont in March."

***CCC***

_March 15_

_Kate and Castle had taken the kids skiing in Vermont shortly before Easter. Stepping into the loft, something felt off to Kate, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Things looked out of place, but she thought that maybe Martha or Alexis had come by to get something._

"_I'm going to go upstairs to tell Jane and Alice all about our vacation," Ari excitedly ran up the stairs to her room._

"_Oh mommy, somebody needs a diaper change," Castle held their giggling son out toward Kate._

"_Ooh, Jack," Kate wrinkled her nose in distaste. "How can you be laughing when you smell like that? Come on, let's change you."_

"_Mommy!" Ari's voice reached them from upstairs. "I can't find Jane!"_

"_I'll be up there in a second. I have to change Jack!"_

"_Mommy, this is a 'mergency!"_

"_Go," Castle told her as he reached out and took Jack from her arms. "After all, it's a 'mergency," he said, mimicking their daughter._

"_Ten to one, Jane is under her bed," Kate laughed as she left the room and went upstairs to Ari's room, where her daughter was searching for her beloved doll. "Did you look under the bed?"_

"_Yes," Ari was exasperated._

"_You didn't take her on vacation with us, did you?"_

"_Mom, you told me not to," Ari reminded her mother._

"_That hasn't stopped you in the past," Kate walked over and opened Ari's bedroom closet. That was when she stopped short, staring at the rod where Ari's clothes were neatly hanging. "Ariel, can you go downstairs and ask daddy to come up here, please?"_

"_Mommy, I have to find Jane."_

"_Now, Ariel!"_

_Hearing her mother call her by her full name caught Ari's attention. Her mommy never called her 'Ariel' unless she was in trouble. Knowing better than to ask questions, she went downstairs to find her father. "Daddy, mommy wants you to come to my room. She called me by my real name. Am I in trouble?"_

_Castle also knew that when Kate called Ariel by her whole name, it meant one of two things; either their daughter was in trouble or something was wrong. "Let's watch Disney Junior, okay?"_

"_Is 'Doc McStuffins' on, daddy?"_

"_I'll put your DVD in, okay?" Ariel followed her father into the living room and watched him put the disc in the DVD player before putting Jack on the floor. "Keep an eye on Jack. I'll fix you a snack when I come back downstairs." _

_Castle took the stairs two at a time to Ariel's room. He found Kate in the closet, holding something in her hands and shaking harder than he'd ever seen her. "Kate?"_

"_I found Jane," Kate turned around to face him, holding an object in her hands. "Castle, they've been in our home! They've been in our daughter's bedroom!"_

_Castle closed his eyes and swallowed before taking the doll from Kate's hands. There was a scarf tied around the dolls' neck, but the worst thing of all was the dolls' eyes had been gouged out. "Pack the kids back up. We'll check into a hotel and get CSU over here to dust for prints."_

"_They're not going to find anything, Rick," she began to sob as Castle stepped up and pulled her into his arms. He felt her fingers dig into his back as she stiffened up. "Castle, behind you."_

_Castle turned to see what had gotten Kate's attention. There was a pink music box on the dresser. "It's just her jewelry box," he reasoned._

"_No, that's not her jewelry box. Her jewelry box is over there," Kate pointed. "Give me your keys."_

_Castle removed his keys from his back pocket and handed them over to her, watching Kate walk over to the music box and carefully lift the lid, using one of the keys. Just as she suspected, there was a flash drive resting on the red velveteen of the music box.  
_

***CCC***

"Katherine, what was on the flash drive? Another song? Like the first flash drive and the one that you received before Valentine's Day?" Martha asked.

"It wasn't just music this time," Kate remembered. "We called CSU because I didn't want to look at it with the kids in the house."

***CCC***

_Kate called Gates, who arranged for CSU for come to the loft to collect the flash drive. For the sake of the two children, they tried to maintain some sense of normalcy, but it wasn't easy. Kate's cell phone rang shortly after nine that night. "It's Ryan," she looked at Castle before answering the phone. "Beckett."_

"_Beckett, you and Castle should come down here. There's something that you both need to see," the Irishman's voice sounded upset._

"_I've got to get someone to stay with the kids. We'll be there as soon as we can."_

_After making arrangements with Alexis to stay with her brother and sister, Kate and Castle drove to the 12__th__ where they found not only Ryan, Espo, and Gates waiting for them, but also computer tech/video whiz kid Tory Ellis and a familiar face in the person of FBI Special Agent Jordan Shaw. "What's going on? Why have you called in the FBI?''_

"_Because we have reasons to believe that we have a serial killer who's changing his signature. Neiman left you a flash drive six years ago. A month ago, you received a second flash drive with another song with a hidden message. I have to warn you that this flash drive is more than a little disturbing," they followed the group into the video lab where Tory had the flash drive loaded._

_Kate reached for Castle's hand as Tory started the program. With the strains of the song 'Thank Heaven for Little Girls' playing in the background, Kate thought that her heart was going to stop when she saw image after image of Ari come across the computer screen. Ari at the park, Ari on outings with her parents, grandmother, and sister; but most frightening of all, pictures of Ari that had obviously been taken at her pre-school. There were no pictures of Jack, or any of the rest of the Castle family, except from a distance. The photos of Ari were close-up and personal. "Turn it off," she turned when she heard Castle's voice. "Turn it off!" He shouted as Tory stopped the slide show. _

"_The pictures don't prove that he's been close to your daughter," Jordan explained. "With today's technology, you can buy equipment that's quite sophisticated."_

"_He or Neiman have been in Ari's bedroom," Kate's voice was shaking. "They desecrated her favorite doll. The wall," she suddenly said as the others in the group stared at her. "When we got home this afternoon, something looked off downstairs. We have family pictures all over our walls. I think some of Ari's pictures are missing."_

"_I'll up your security detail," Gates announced._

"_I've already done that," Castle glared at the captain. "I want this motherfucker and his trained monkey! I want their heads on a fucking platter!"_

"_We're doing our best to find them—"_

"_Your best? Are you kidding me right now? Where in the hell were you guys after he escaped the first time? Why was I the only person who thought that he was still alive despite a 100-foot fall from the Triborough Bridge and 15 bullets in him? Oh, that's right. The NYPD didn't want the embarrassment. Jordan, you're one of the best criminal profilers I've ever met in my life and you're clueless right now!" Castle was on a roll and nobody had the words to stop him. _

"_Most killers don't change their signature," Jordan admitted. "They find what works and stick with it. He has used partners in the past. Neiman might be the key. We suspect that she's been assisting him for longer than we originally thought. But we can't seem to find anything pertinent in her past to unlock that key."_

"_What do we do in the meantime? I can't expose our children to an atmosphere of fear," Kate said._

"_Keep things as normal as you possibly can. Just don't let either of them out of your sight."_

"_Oh, believe me, we won't," Castle said._

***CCC***

"How long had they been following her?" Martha asked.

"We don't know. The only place they didn't have pictures of her was in the Hamptons. Castle thinks it's because if Tyson or Neiman had tried to get too close in the Hamptons, someone would've possibly seen them. That was why we enrolled Ari in Karate. We wanted to give her every advantage that we could in case she got in a situation where she needed to fight back."

"So, you think that the wreck was a ruse so that they could take Ariel?" Martha asked as Kate nodded. "Why, Katherine?"

"To destroy Rick with what he loved most. His family. Tyson knew that by hurting Ari, he could destroy both me and Rick in one fell swoop. I just want to know why Neiman tossed Ari out of the car that night. Something happened, and I don't think that something was that crazy doctor suddenly growing a conscience."

"You think Ariel said or did something?"

"I don't know. Until she can tell us, we're never going to know."

***CCC***

Kate was asleep with her arms wrapped around Castle's pillow when she felt a small body crawl over her, small hands patting the side of her face. She smiled when she felt wet, sloppy kisses on the side of her face. She reached around and grabbed the warm, wriggling body of James Jackson Castle over hers, laughing at his baby giggles. "Good morning, little man," she looked into the face that was the exact replica of his father's. "Is Sissy awake?"

"Daddy still gone?"

"Yeah, he's on a long trip this time. Is Gram awake?"

"No. Just me," he said proudly.

"Well, just you, let's get you dressed. I have to get ready for work," she picked him up and got out of bed.

"No, mommy!" He howled. "Stay home!"

"Sweetie, I can't. Come on. If we hurry, I'll make pancakes for you and Sissy."

Kate's phone rang while she was brushing her hair. She frowned at the unfamiliar called id. "Hello?"

"Ms. Beckett? Dr. Carver Burke asked me to call you. I'm Dr. Caroline Downing. I'm a psychologist who specializes in children who have been traumatized. I worked with several children whose parents died on 9/11."

"Oh, thank you for calling me. Would it be possible for me to meet with you sometime today?"

"I have an opening at four o'clock. Would that be convenient for you?"

"Yes, that would be fine. Should I bring my daughter with me?"

"No, not on the initial visit. I'll see you at four o'clock."

Kate took a deep breath, feeling like there was maybe light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe all Ari needed was for someone who knew how to unlock the torment in her young mind. Grabbing her purse, she went out into the living room where Ari was watching TV with Jack. "Hey, 30 more minutes of TV, okay?" She stooped down, planting kisses on both kids before looking toward Martha. "I'm going to stop by to see you-know-who before I head to work. I have an errand this afternoon, so I might be a little late."

"Kiss you-know-who for me, darling," Martha told Kate, who smiled and waved at the kids.

***CCC***

Castle had been moved an hour before and he was staring out at the gray December morning. His leg throbbed dully, along with his ribs. He looked over at his door when he heard footsteps approaching. "Good morning, Mr. Castle," Dr. Walker looked his patient's chart over. "I see that we got you moved without any problems. How are you feeling?"

"Miserable."

"At least you're honest," the doctor chuckled. "I see that your pulse-ox has improved from yesterday, so I'll further cut down your oxygen intake. Do you have any questions?"

"Yeah. I've wanted to ask my wife, but she's so happy that I'm alive that we haven't talked about my injuries. How bad am I?"

"You have a compound fracture of your leg which will probably require further surgery in the next few months. You have six broken ribs and suffered a Pneumo-thorax, which required a Thoracotomy. This means that I had to insert—"

"I know what it is. Kate has a scar from one. She told me all about it in graphic detail."

"Well, now you and Mrs. Castle are going to match in that regard. You have a combination of stitches and staples in your head in various places. You also have a broken left wrist, but it's a clean break which should heal without any complications. Your heart and lungs were badly bruised, which is why you couldn't breathe on your own. It may take several months for the bruising to completely heal."

"When can I lose the catheter?" He grimaced.

"Probably by tomorrow. We're going to see about getting you on crutches soon. For that to happen, you'll have to lose your friend."

"Terrific," Castle stared at the ceiling.

"I don't want you to be a martyr where your pain is concerned. If you're feeling pain, let a nurse know. We want you to be comfortable."

"I'd be comfortable at home in my own bed."

"All in good time, Mr. Castle. Get some rest. I'll check on you later."

Dr. Walker exited the room, almost bumping into Kate who was getting ready to walk in. "Hey Castle," she walked over to his bed and kissed him, hoping to get a smile out of him. Instead, he looked warily at her. "I called this morning to find out where they'd moved you. I brought you something," she smiled, sliding his tray table over and placing his laptop case on top of it. "I also brought your tablet. I thought you might want to play games. Or maybe even get some writing done."

"I've talked to Gina. She's given me a pass considering I'm kind of laid up here," he was surly as he continued staring at the ceiling.

"I'm taking Ari and Jack to FAO Schwarz on Saturday. I had to break it to Ari last night that Jane couldn't be fixed."

"What did you tell her?" He practically growled at her.

"Castle, I didn't tell her how . . . how I found her doll. I just told her that she couldn't be fixed. I'll never tell her any of that."

"You're seriously going to take them to FAO Schwarz on the day after Christmas? You're even braver than I thought, Det. Beckett," he finally smiled at her.

"I hadn't thought about that. I can't exactly back out now. Castle, I know that I shouldn't be bringing this up, but now that you're a little better, they're going to want to question you about what happened that night. I can send the boys up here if you'd like."

For the first time Castle seemed to take note of how tired Kate looked; how sad. "Hey, I'm going to be out of here before you know it. You do know that you don't have to be the strong one all of the time."

"I was so scared, Castle," she finally admitted. "I was scared that I was going to lose both of you that night."

"You're not going to get rid of me that easily," he took her hand as she leaned forward to kiss him once again.

"I want to bring Ari back up here after Christmas. Is that all right with you?"

"Yeah, it's good. What about Jack?"

"Uh, Jack and this room full of buttons and lights? I know that you're a millionaire and all, but I don't think you want the bill for the damage our son can cause in here," she grinned.

"Then get some video for me. Shoot some video on your phone and email it to me."

"Okay, I'll get something every day. I have to get to work," she stood up. "I'll be back this afternoon. I love you."

"I love you, too. Be careful."

***CCC***

"Yo, Beckett!" Espo called out when Kate walked over to her desk. "How's Castle?"

"He's been moved to a regular room. His mood shifts back and forth. But, now that he's able to talk, I was thinking that you two should get his statement."

"Sure, we could go up there this afternoon," Ryan said as Espo nodded in agreement.

"I need to leave early today because I have an errand."

"No problem," Ryan told her. "How's Ariel?"

"Kevin, has Colleen ever placed her dolls in a circle on her bed?"

"No. The only issue that Jenny and I are having with Colleen is the fact that she wants to start wearing makeup. She's six going on 16. It's scary."

"I need to go and talk to Gates," Kate got up and walked over to the captain's office.

"Bro, Lanie was telling me last night that Perlmutter found Little Chica outside of the autopsy room the day that Kate brought her down here. Get this. Perlmutter said that Ariel wanted to go into the room to see the bad man and the bad lady who hurt her daddy."

"Man, that's messed up," Ryan said.

"Lanie also said that Beckett doesn't know about it. So, don't repeat it."

In Gates' office, Kate was sitting in a chair in front of the desk. "I'm going to talk to a psychologist this afternoon. She specializes in dealing with childhood trauma. I'm hoping that she can give me some advice on how to help Ari."

"How is she doing?" Gates asked, her brow creased in concern.

"I don't know. In many ways, I understand what she's going through. I did some crazy things when my mom died, but I was an adult. She's reverted back to sucking her thumb and she's doing this crazy thing with her dolls and stuffed animals. I just want to get through to her and convince her that she's safe. That the danger is over."

"I know that you and Mr. Castle tried to maintain a sense of normalcy, but children can sense when something is wrong. We don't give them the credit that they deserve."

"I'll let you know what she suggests."

Dr. Caroline Downing had offices in one of the huge high-rises that lined Park Avenue. Kate took the elevator up to the 37th floor and told the receptionist that she had an appointment. Within a matter of minutes, she was being ushered into the psychologist's posh office. "Ms. Beckett, please have a seat."

"Actually, it's Mrs. Castle. I'm a New York Homicide detective, but I only go by Beckett on the job."

"Castle? Any relation to the mystery writer?"

"Yes, he's my husband."

"So, what brings you to see me, Mrs. Castle?"

"Please call me Kate. My husband, Rick and our five-year-old daughter were injured in a car accident a few days ago. It's a long story, but the accident was an attempted murder by two people who had been foes of our family for some time. After the accident, these two people took Ariel . . . my daughter from the car."

"Were these the people who died on the LIE? I saw that on the news."

"Yes. They threw Ariel from the car before it blew up, but we don't know the how's and the why's of how they came to get rid of their hostage. I've tried to get her to talk about it, but she's terrified. My superiors are anxious to wrap everything up and in order to do that; they need to talk to Ari."

"How has she been sleeping? Has she been having nightmares?"

"Surprisingly, no," Kate shook her head.

"Actually, that's not so surprising. In children, the nightmares often don't surface right away. Has she been exhibiting any kind of unusual behavior?"

"Yes. She has been placing her dolls and stuffed animals on her bed in a circle every night before she goes to bed."

"She needs to feel secure. Placing the dolls around her give her a sense of security. You mentioned that Mr. Castle was injured in the accident. Has Ari seen him?"

"I took her to see him yesterday before he was removed from the Respirator. Was that a good idea? Everybody has been telling me that I shouldn't have done it."

"How did she react afterward?"

"She cried because she was happy to see him, but she didn't seem frightened by the Respirator. Or if she was, she hasn't said anything about it."

"With children, you can learn more by what they don't tell you than by what they say. I would like to meet Ari. The initial meeting should take place in a place where she feels safe and secure. It's also best that she doesn't know that I'm a doctor."

"I know that you must be busy with Christmas coming in two days—"

"How about I drop by your home tomorrow afternoon for a little while? I can have a chat with Ari and let you know how best to proceed."

"That would be great," Kate smiled. "Do you need to talk to her alone?"

"No. For the initial visit, it would be best if you remained with her. However, I will ask you to please not interfere with my interview of Ari."

"Okay. Thank you," Kate stood up and shook the doctor's hand.

"I can come by at four o'clock tomorrow afternoon."

"That would be great," Kate said as she left the office.

***CCC***

Castle was playing Angry Birds on his computer, irritated by his lack of dexterity due to his broken wrist. He was bored and he missed being at home with his family. He closed the lid on his laptop, lying back on his pillows and staring up at the ceiling. His mind was constantly filled with memories of the last few minutes of that awful night. He could clearly hear Ariel's frantic screams for him as well as Tyson's taunts.

His thoughts were interrupted by a light knock on his door. Seconds later, the door opened and Ryan stuck his head in. "Can we come in?" He asked as he walked in with Esposito.

"'Sito, Ryan," Castle smiled cheerfully as his two friends stepped up to his bed. "I'm glad that you guys are here. I was getting bored out of my mind. Did Beckett come up here with you?"

"She had an errand, so she left work early. She's probably getting last minute Christmas stuff for the kids," Ryan explained.

"Do you feel up to talking about what happened the other night?" Espo took out his notebook.

"Yeah. But can you tell me what happened . . . after they took her?"

"We'll tell you what we know. Can you walk us through the events of that night?" Ryan asked.

"I picked Ariel up when school let out at about 2:30. She had a ballet lesson at her school on Fifth Avenue. I saw my security guy when I picked Ariel up, but nothing else looked out of the ordinary. Ariel was in her booster seat, babbling about all sorts of stuff. You know, the way that kids do," he looked at Ryan, who nodded in understanding. "We were stopped at a light in front of the Flatiron Building. Ariel loves that building. Every time she sees it, she can't stop talking about it. I was kind of half-listening to her and then I heard tires screeching and then we were moving up the street into oncoming traffic."

"You never saw the car that hit you?" Espo asked.

"No. I must've gotten knocked out. Anyway, I woke up when I heard Ariel crying. I remember asking her if she was hurt and she said that she didn't think so. Then . . . then—" Castle's voice caught and he began coughing.

"Castle, are you all right?" Ryan asked.

"I couldn't move," he sobbed into his good hand. "The steering column was crushing my leg and my head hurt. There was blood running in my eyes. I tried to get to her!"

"We know you did, bro," Espo looked at his partner. "What happened after you regained consciousness?"

"I was talking to her. She was scared, but she sounded all right. Then . . . then I heard the back door open. I thought that someone had come to rescue us. I heard Ariel telling someone to help me, that she thought that I was hurt. Then I heard her shriek in terror. She was screaming for me to help her. Then I heard the voice of a monster," Castle gritted his teeth in remembrance. "Tyson said something about Ariel being a fighter, but that he knew she would be. I started trying to shove the steering column off of my leg. I kept hearing Ariel screaming, and then I heard gunshots. I thought that he'd shot her. But then I heard her screaming again, but her screams were so far away. I think that I blacked out after that, because when I woke up again, fire and rescue was there getting me out of the car."

"Castle, what exactly did Tyson say to you when he took Ariel from the car?" Ryan asked.

Castle took a deep breath and had another fit of coughing. "Could I get some water?" He looked beseechingly at Ryan, who poured some water into a plastic up and placed a straw in it for him. "Thank you," he whispered after taking a few sips. "He said, 'Castle, she's quite the fighter. Just like Kate. But I knew that she would be.' And then he was gone. How long did they have her?"

"A little over two hours," Espo looked at the notepad in his hand. "They were taking a lot of side streets to avoid being spotted. Your affinity for fancy gadgets is how we finally found her." Castle gave him a blank look, so Espo quickly continued. "Beckett remembered the watch that you'd bought Little Chica for her birthday. Luckily, Ariel was wearing it."

"After they broke into the house and left the music box was when I got the idea for the watch. Once she started school all day, I insisted that she wear it. It became second nature with her, like brushing her teeth. How did you find her?"

"The GPS showed Tyson's car was on the LIE. We came within four or five car lengths of them, and then we saw cars swerving out of the way ahead of us," Espo's voice was thick with emotion as Castle saw him take a deep breath. "Then we saw a car door open and a body come flying out."

"They threw her out of the car?" Castle was stunned.

"Ryan and I both jumped out of the car and began running toward her. Little Chica was just lying there in the road, and then I saw her head pop up. I yelled at her to run to me. She ran into my arms and she stated that there was a bomb in the car. I yelled at Ryan who was about two car lengths behind the car. I told him that the car was going to blow. He hit the dirt and I threw Ariel to the ground and covered her just as the whole car went sky high."

"So, they're both really dead?"

"Yeah. Beckett insisted that Lanie make sure that it was them. There was evidence that Tyson had had plastic surgery, but fingerprints don't lie."

"Thank you for saving her," Castle's eyes were filled with tears.

"Beckett wanted to look for her, but Gates insisted that she stay with you."

"Yeah, she told me," he closed his eyes, exhaustion etched in his features.

"We'll let you get some rest. We'll both come by when you're feeling better. We'll bring some cards and play some Texas Hold 'Em," Ryan offered.

"That sounds great."

***CCC***

Kate was leaving Dr. Downing's office building when her cell phone rang. She pulled it out and smiled when she saw that it was Alexis. "Hey, Lex," she answered, calling her stepdaughter by the now familiar nickname that Ari and Jack had given her. "What's going on?"

"Kate, are you on your way up here to the hospital to be with dad?"

"Yeah, I had to talk to someone about Ari, but I'm on my way now. Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"He's in a lot of pain, but he refuses to let anybody give him anything. I've been trying to get him to let them give him something, but he won't listen to me," Alexis was clearly emotional over the phone.

"Alexis, I'm getting in my car right now and I should be there in 15 or 20 minutes. I know that this is hard, but if he's refusing pain meds, just let it go. I'll talk some sense into him when I get there."

"Thank you, Kate."

Kate wondered what in the hell Castle was thinking refusing to let the nurses give him anything for pain. She remembered the bone-crushing pain she'd been in after her shooting. There was no way she would've ever refused to take anything. If she didn't take her pain medication, she'd get nauseous and the pain would be 10 times worse.

When she walked into Castle's room 15 minutes later, Alexis was sitting by his bed, holding his hand and smoothing her other hand on his sweaty forehead. "Daddy, please let them give you something."

"No," he gritted his teeth and shook his head.

"Hey, Lex," Kate placed her hand on the younger woman's shoulder. "I've got this. Can you get me a cold towel?"

"Sure," Alexis got up and went to the bathroom.

"Castle, what are you doing?" Kate smoothed her hand over her husband's forehead. "You're feverish. You need to let them give you something for the pain."

"No. I deserve to be in pain," he opened his pain-filled eyes to stare at his wife. "I couldn't protect her. I deserve to be in pain."

"Castle, no," she took the towel from Alexis and began to dab his forehead. "Listen to me. You're not to blame for them taking Ari. Punishing yourself by refusing pain medication isn't going to change what happened that night."

"I don't like how the pain medicine makes me feel."

"Babe, I know. I didn't like the way they made me feel after my shooting. But, as much as I hated that feeling, I hated being in pain even more. When you're stronger, they'll cut down on the medication, but right now, you need to take it. Let Alexis go and get your nurse. I'll stay here until you go to sleep. Okay?" Kate motioned for Alexis to go and get a nurse.

The nurse came in and put something into Castle's remaining IV as the two women stood by. Kate wrapped her arm around Alexis, smoothing back her long red hair. "Thank you," Alexis whispered gratefully. "He wouldn't listen to me. Why is he punishing himself?"

"Because he's a good father," Kate smiled. "Hey, can you take Jack for a couple of hours tomorrow? I have someone coming by the loft to try and talk to Ari. She's coming to the loft at around four."

"Of course. Rook could use a play date," Alexis grinned.

"The meds should kick in soon," the nurse assured them. "Tell him not to wait too long the next time."

"Daddy, I'm going to go home. I'll be back in the morning," Alexis bent down and kissed his forehead.

"Okay, pumpkin. I love you," Castle's words were already slurring.

"I love you, too."

Kate sat down and once again began blotting the sweat from Castle's forehead with the cold towel. "I want to talk to my babies, Kate," he reached for Kate's hand.

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. I'll bring your phone to you in the morning and you can talk to them on FaceTime tomorrow night. Would you like that?" She asked as his face erupted in a huge smile for the first time in days. "I'll bring you a t-shirt. I'll see if the nurses can arrange for it to look like you're not in a hospital. Jack thinks you're on one of your book trips."

"I miss them so much."

"I know, but you've got to stop punishing yourself. In Ariel's eyes, you're still her big, strong daddy. Castle, you're always going to be her hero."

"I just want to stop hearing her screams that night, Kate. How do I get her screams out of my head?" He began to sob as Kate gently rubbed his arm.

"With time, babe. Relax and go to sleep. I'll be right here when you wake up."

**A/N #3: This journey isn't going to get any easier, but please bear with me.**

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	4. Castle Walls

**DISCLAIMERS: Nope, still not mine.**

**SUMMARY: Castle begins rehab, while Dr. Downing meets Ariel for the first time.**

**A/N #1: Some of the details in this chapter are going to vary from the version that I wrote of in 'A Bright, Shining Hope.' Please bear with me on this because it's the only way I could get the story to work.**

Chapter 4: Castle Walls

_Christmas Eve_

"You're doing great, Mr. Castle. But you don't want to overdo things. You've had to use crutches before?"

"I broke my knee several years ago. I had a wheelchair, but they also gave me crutches to get around. How long before I can go home?"

Tony Wheeler had been assigned Richard Castle as a patient. He knew right away that his new patient was in a big hurry to go home. "That's not up to me. That's up to you and your doctor."

"I have two small children at home that need me. My wife also needs me. My son is going to be two years old in two weeks. I want to be home for his birthday."

"That sounds like a good goal to me. We can make that your target date. When is your son's birthday?"

"January 9." 

"Then, we'll work hard and get you home so that you can watch your little boy blow out his candles on that second birthday cake."

When Kate stepped off of the elevator a couple of hours later, she was surprised to find Castle slowly walking down the hallway toward her. "Hey, Castle," she smiled and kissed him.

"Tony and I are going to get me home by Jack's birthday."

"How's your pain today?"

"I took a pill an hour ago. I like the pills better than the shots. They don't make me feel as fuzzy."

"Let's go back to your room. I know that you're anxious to get home, but I don't want you overdoing your therapy. I brought your phone and some DVD's, so you'll have something to watch on your computer."

"What did you bring me?" He hobbled behind her as they made their way back to his room.

"Firefly, and Game of Thrones. When you finish watching those, I'll bring you some more."

He put his crutches by the bed and eased himself against the pillows. "So, what're you and the kids going to do for Christmas Eve?"

"We're just going to have dinner with your mother, my dad, Alexis and Brian. Ari wants to wait to celebrate Christmas, and Jack's too little to know that tonight is Christmas. Call them this evening before they go to bed. I haven't told them that you're going to call, so they'll be surprised," she smiled at him.

"I'll try to sit somewhere so that Jack doesn't know where I am."

"Castle, I've got someone coming to the loft this afternoon to talk to Ari. I just want you to know so that you're not upset about it."

"How is she, Kate? How is she really?"

"During the day, she's almost like she always is, except she hasn't been as silly. She plays with Jack, or she plays with her dolls, but she just seems so . . . serious. At night is when I see the effects of that night. She's started sucking her thumb again and she does this thing with her dolls now."

"What kind of thing?"

"She puts them in a circle on her bed. She sleeps in the middle of that circle."

"Does she have nightmares?"

"No. I thought that strange, but the doctor that I talked to yesterday said that often nightmares don't manifest in children until much later following a traumatic event. I just worry that if she's forced to talk about what happened, she's going to start having bad dreams."

"How are you?"

"Oh, I'm okay," she gave him a sad smile, but her eyes showed that she was far from okay. "I'm worried about you and Ari. I'm trying to keep up with Hurricane Jack," she smiled as Castle chuckled. "Your mother and Alexis have been terrific. So has my dad. He found out that I'm taking the kids to FAO Schwarz on Saturday, so he's going to meet us there."

"I miss you," his voice was choked up. "I miss being at home with you and the kids. I hate it here, Kate. I have too much time to think. When I think, all I think about is that night."

"I know. After I got shot, I'd lie in bed and think about that day in the cemetery. I'd remember talking about Roy, and then I'd hear you yell out my name. It took months for those images to leave my head. It's not going to be easy; Castle, but I understand what you're going through."

"You'll let me know what this doctor says."

"Of course. Take it easy with your therapy, okay? I want you home, but I don't want you wearing yourself out."

"Have you talked to Dr. Walker today? He was telling me that I might have to have surgery on my leg sometime in the future."

"He told me that it was a bad break. We'll face that hurdle when we have to. I have to get to work. I'll drop by this afternoon for a little while. I'll talk to you tonight after you talk to the kids," she moved toward him, her lips moving over his in a soft kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

***CCC***

"What're you doing?" Ariel asked her grandmother, who was putting some of Jack's toys into his backpack.

"Jack's going to go to Alexis' for a little while, so I'm packing some of his cars and trucks for him to play with."

"I'm not invited?"

Martha could see a meltdown brewing in her small granddaughter. "I think that you and your mother are going to bake chocolate chip cookies for your daddy."

"Is Jack going to spend the night at Lex's?"

"No, sweetie. Remember that we're all having dinner together tonight. Alexis, Brian, and Grandpa Jim are coming over."

Martha zipped up the backpack and walked past Ariel, who seemed to be mulling things over in her head. The older woman couldn't help thinking how much Ariel was like Katherine at moments like this. "So, is Jack going to go over there when he wakes up from his nap?" Ariel followed her grandmother into the kitchen.

"Alexis is going to be here in about an hour. Ariel, would you like to sit at the piano with me?" Martha walked over to the piano and sat at the bench, watching Ariel trying to make up her mind. Finally the little girl came over and sat beside her grandmother.

"Is my daddy really better?"

"Your daddy is doing just fine," Martha smiled. "He's going to be home before you know it. Ariel sweetheart, is there something on your mind?"

Ariel pressed her face into Martha's side and burst into tears. "I miss my daddy! I want him to come home!"

Martha fought back tears of her own as she reached down and lifted Ariel into her arms, feeling her thin arms wrap around her neck and felt her press her face into her neck. Kate had come home in tears herself the night before, telling her how Richard was refusing pain medication because he felt that he deserved to be in pain for his failure to protect his daughter. With the exception of little Jack, who was still blissfully ignorant that anything was wrong in his world, the rest of the family was a wreck. "Your daddy loves you, Jack, and your mommy more than anything in this world. You know that, don't you?" She felt Ariel nod against her neck. "He's working so hard so that he can come home and be with all of you again."

"That bad man called me a bad name when I bit him," Martha stiffened when she heard Ariel's muffled words. "He hit me in the face because I kicked that bad lady, so I bit him."

Martha thought it best not to respond to anything that Ariel was telling her. Her job as a grandmother was to comfort her. "Jack's going to be awake soon. How would you like a snack?"

"Can I have some cheese and crackers?" Ariel pulled away to look at her grandmother.

"You certainly may."

***CCC***

Later that afternoon, Martha and Ariel were lounging at opposite corners of the sofa, reading from their respective e-Readers when they heard Kate's key in the door. Ariel put her Kindle down and raced to the front door, leaping into Kate's arms the second her mother walked through the door. "Hi, baby," Kate scooped Ari into her arms and walked over to the sofa with her. "What're you doing?"

"Reading," Ari giggled when Kate kissed the ticklish parts of her neck. "Mommy, stop!"

"Daddy told me to do that," Kate continued tickling her daughter, who squirmed and giggled uncontrollably. "So, what have you and Gram been doing today?"

"We played piano and we ate cheese and crackers. Lex came over and took Jack to her house to play with Rook. Mommy, why couldn't I go?"

"Because we're going to make cookies for daddy. Would you like to go with me to take them to him tomorrow?"

"I can see him tomorrow? Really? Mommy, does he still have the big tube in his mouth?"

"No, baby. The doctor took it out, so you can talk to him and he can talk to you. He's so excited to see you. It's all that he could talk about today."

"Is he going to cry again?"

"I don't know, Ari. But he cried that day because he was so happy that you were all right. It wasn't because he was sad. Now, let me change clothes and then we'll make cookies."

Martha waited a minute before following Kate into hers' and Richard's bedroom. "Katherine, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Martha, is something wrong?"

"Ariel had another mini-meltdown earlier today, but she told me that she bit the bad man."

"She bit Tyson?"

"She said that he hit her in the face after she kicked the bad lady, so she bit him. I didn't respond. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to say. Was I supposed to praise her or what?"

"I'll ask Dr. Downing when she gets here in a little while. Personally, I think you handled things the right way. I saw the bruise under her eye but I thought it was caused by being thrown from the car."

"Mommy!"

"I'll be right there! Castle's going to call this evening before they go to bed. Please don't say anything to her about that," Kate smiled.

"I won't. So, he's in good spirits today?"

"I think he's happy to be up and about. His mood is going to swing back and forth. He's going to need therapy when he's released from the hospital and he knows that, but we're not talking about it just yet."

"Well, I have some stuff to take care of at my school, but I will be home in plenty of time to help you with dinner."

"Thank you, Martha. And thank you for listening to Ari," Kate hugged her mother-in-law.

An hour later, Kate and Ari were in the midst of making chocolate chip cookies when the doorbell rang. "Hey, no more cookies. You won't eat your dinner," Kate swiped chocolate from the corners of her daughter's mouth. "I have to answer the door." Kate walked over and opened the door to find Dr. Downing standing there. "Please come in."

Ari looked suspiciously over the counter at the strange woman who had just entered the apartment. Kate took Dr. Downing's coat and scarf as the doctor walked toward the counter. "Hi," the doctor greeted Ariel, who was still scrutinizing the stranger. "My name is Caroline. What is your name?"

Ari looked toward her mother. "It's all right, Ari. You can tell Caroline your name."

"Ariel," Ari's voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Would you like some coffee?" Kate walked back into the kitchen as the doctor nodded. "Ari and I were making cookies for her daddy."

"They smell really good."

"Mommy, who is she?" Ari whispered to Kate.

"She's just here to talk. She's a friend of mine. She writes books like daddy does. Only she writes books about kids."

"But why is she here?"

"I didn't know that your daddy writes books," Caroline decided to leap into the conversation.

"He says that mommy is his muse. I don't even know what that means," Ari said as both women laughed. "Are you here to interview me like they do on TV?"

"I think that is a great idea. That is, if your mommy wouldn't mind," Caroline glanced at Kate.

"Are you sure you don't mind talking to Caroline?"

"What is she going to ask me?"

"Why don't we just talk and see what happens?" The doctor suggested. "Do you like to draw? Because something tells me that you are an exceptional artist."

"You can get some paper and markers from daddy's office," Kate instructed her daughter, who quickly scampered from the room.

"You're doing fine, Kate. Just relax and let me follow her lead."

Ari came back from Castle's office with several large sheets of drawing paper and a handful of markers. She then climbed up on a bar stool beside the doctor and quickly began drawing. Kate placed a cup of coffee in front of Dr. Downing, along with the sugar bowl and a carton of cream. The two women watched Ari as she seemed to be drawing with great concentration. The doctor looked at the drawing, which seemed to be quite telling in its details and told her a great deal about what was going on in her young patient's mind. "This is very good, Ariel. I was right. You _are _an exceptional artist. Can you tell me what I'm seeing in this picture?"

"This is me, Jack, mommy, Gram, and Lex. Gram and Lex have red hair. So does Lex's mom."

"Who is Lex?"

"Lex is my big sister. Her mommy isn't my mommy."

"Alexis is Rick's daughter from a previous marriage," Kate explained.

"I think I figured that out," Caroline looked at Kate with a raised eyebrow. "So, is Jack your little brother?" Ari nodded vigorously. "Where is your daddy?" Dr. Downing saw the small quiver in Ariel's lower lip, so she decided to change tactics. "Ariel, who is this over here?" She pointed to two figures in the far corner of the paper. "Why do they look so mad?"

"They're mean," Ariel took a red marker and scrubbed it over both stick figures. "They hurt my daddy really, really bad."

"What did they do to him? Did you see it?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now. Can I go to my room?"

Kate looked toward the doctor, who gave a slight nod of her head. "Go ahead, sweetie."

Dr. Downing waited until Ariel was out of earshot before saying anything. "I'll give her some time alone and then I'll go up to her room."

"She told my mother-in-law earlier today that she bit Tyson after he struck her in the face. That's the first thing she's told any of us about what happened that night. Martha wasn't sure how to respond, so she didn't say anything."

"That's probably best; although I'm sure your first response is to give her a medal. I want you to know that her reactions are perfectly normal and are liable to get much worse before they get better. You may see significant changes in her behavior once your husband comes home from the hospital."

"What kind of changes?"

"Behavioral mainly. She might also get somewhat clingy and possessive. Let me go upstairs and give her another shot." She smiled at Kate before getting up and going upstairs where she found Ariel playing with her dolls and a huge dollhouse. "This is a great bedroom! I see that you like Dora the Explorer. My granddaughter also likes Dora."

"I like learning Spanish. My mommy is teaching me how to speak Russian, too."

"Your mommy sounds really smart. Do you go to ballet?" Dr. Downing saw several ballerina figurines on Ariel's dresser."

"I don't want to go there, anymore. I don't want to see that building, anymore."

"What building?"

"The Iron building. I was looking at it when the mean people hurt my daddy. I hate it."

Dr. Downing knew that Ariel was referring to the Flatiron Building. "That is a really pretty doll. Does she have a name?"

"Her name is Alice. She had a sister named Jane, but she died."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."

"Are you a detective like my mommy?"

"No, I'm a doctor."

"Are you going to give me a shot? Because I don't like needles."

"No, I'm not here to give you a shot. I don't give shots. I'm a doctor who listens to people when things are bothering them."

"Even little kids like me?" Ariel's eyes were huge in her small face.

"Especially little kids like you. Ariel, could you draw me another picture? I know that this might be a little scary, but can you draw a picture of what it looked like in the mean people's car?"

Downstairs in the kitchen, Kate was listening to the exchange between Ari and Dr. Downing through the intercom system that Castle had had installed in the loft after their daughter's birth so that they would be able to hear her from anywhere in the loft. After Jack's birth, he'd arranged to have the system upgraded. It had especially come in handy with Jack, who had a tendency to get into everything.

"I don't like to talk about that," she heard Ari say from upstairs.

"How many mean people were there?"

"Two," Ariel began listlessly playing with items in her dollhouse.

"Were they both mean to you?"

"They pulled a lady out of her car. I think she got hurt when she fell in the street. I don't want to talk about it. I want to go and help my mommy."

Kate began to busy herself by putting cookie dough on the cookie sheets when she heard Ari's feet on the stairs. "Hey, chunky monkey. You're just in time."

"Mommy?" Ari pulled Kate down to whisper in her mother's ear. "I don't like that lady. I want her to go home. I don't want to talk about that bad man and bad lady."

"Why don't you go and sit in daddy's chair in his office while I talk to Caroline. Can you do that for me?"

Ari went into Castle's office while Kate washed her hands and faced the doctor. "Ari's upset. She wants me to ask you to leave."

"That's probably for the best. However, I would like to see her again."

"I'm not sure she's going to agree to that."

"Kate, she's five. I've been doing this for a long time. I can help her to articulate what happened to her that night. I can also help her to move past it."

"Can children suffer from PTSD?"

"Anyone can suffer from post traumatic stress. Call me after the first of the year. Please?"

"Okay," Kate nodded, walking over to the coat closet to retrieve the doctor's coat and scarf. "Thank you for seeing her."

"You're quite welcome. She's a delightful child, Kate. But she's been through a horrendous ordeal."

Three hours later, Kate smiled as she listened to Ari and Jack playing happily with Brian and their grandfather while she, Martha, and Alexis prepared dinner, which consisted of the Christmas Eve tradition of lasagna, salad, and tiramisu. "Dad, please don't get them too worked up. They'll never go to sleep tonight if you do," Kate warned her father.

"How did it go with the doctor?" Martha whispered.

"It went all right until the doctor pushed a little too hard and Ari got upset."

"It's great to hear her laugh," Alexis said.

"Yeah, it is," Kate agreed. "I haven't heard her laugh since before . . . since she and Rick—" She stopped, too emotional to continue.

"I know," Martha squeezed her around the waist.

"What time is dad supposed to call?" Alexis asked, still keeping her voice down.

"Around seven, he said. I want to get them fed and bathed."

Dinner was a wonderful affair, despite the glaring absence of Castle. Lasagna was always a big hit with the kids and they were soon covered in tomato sauce. After dinner, Ariel allowed Alexis to bathe her in the upstairs bathroom while Kate bathed Jack in hers' and Castle's bathroom.

Alexis had pinned Ariel's long curls on top of her head and was watching her little sister playing with her mermaid dolls in the tub. "Lex, did mommy call Santa Claus to tell him to wait to come to our house?"

"Yes, she did. Gram and I called him, too, just to make sure that he got the message. He said that he'll be here as soon as daddy comes home from the hospital."

"Lex, can I tell you a secret?" Ariel whispered as she moved to the edge of the bathtub. "You can't tell anybody, especially not Caroline."

"Who's Caroline?"

"She's a doctor, but she doesn't give shots. I don't like her."

"What's your secret? I promise that I won't tell Caroline."

"That mean lady had red hair. She kept telling that bad man to just let me go. He kept saying really bad words. He got really, really mad."

"Was he mad at her or mad at you?"

"I kept screaming like mommy and daddy had always told me to do if somebody ever grabbed me. He kept saying the f-word. He also kept saying that Castle was going to pay. If he wanted money, daddy would've given him money."

Alexis knew that her little sister would never understand that wasn't the kind of paying that Tyson meant. "Ariel, you were very brave. Your mommy and daddy are very proud of you. So are me, Gram, and Grandpa Jim."

"Can I tell you another secret?" Her blue-green eyes were solemn. "I don't want to go back to ballet. It's my fault that daddy got hurt."

"Ariel, what happened wasn't your fault."

"I don't want to talk about it, anymore," she picked up her dolls once again. "Lex, did you ever wish that you could be a mermaid?"

"All of the time," Alexis smiled. "I would watch 'The Little Mermaid' with daddy all of the time."

"I want to go to the beach and be a mermaid."

"Daddy will take you and Jack to the beach when the weather gets warm again."

Downstairs, Kate was trying to wash Jack which was akin to trying to bathe a fish. The small boy was wiggly and slippery. He was also adept at avoiding his mother and her washcloth. Most nights, this was a fun game between mother and son, but tonight Kate was tired and out of sorts due to the meeting between Ari and Dr. Downing earlier that afternoon. She had also heard bits of the conversation between Ari and Alexis from upstairs. "Jack, come on," her voice was sharper than she'd intended. "You need to let me wash you so that you can get out. I'll read you and Sissy a story."

"Two stories," the little boy held up two chubby fingers.

"You're such a con man," Kate smiled as Jack finally allowed her to wash him.

"Like daddy?" He gave her a huge smile that was so identical to Rick's that she wanted to cry.

"Exactly like daddy," she helped him to his feet and wrapped a huge towel around him before lifting him from the tub.

Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting on the sofa with a child on either side of her and a storybook in her lap when her phone rang, the ringtone of 'Stop and Stare' by One Republic. The kids stared at each other, their faces lighting up in excitement. "Daddy's on the phone!" Jack stood on the couch and began jumping up and down.

"Daddy!" Ari shouted

"Hold on," Kate grabbed her phone and answered it. "Hi, Castle."

"Daddy!" He could hear both kids squealing in excitement.

"Let me talk to the kids," he instructed her.

She held the phone so that Ari and Jack could see their daddy, sitting in a chair. "Hi, daddy! Come home!" Jack shouted.

"Hey, buddy. I'll be home pretty soon. Hi, Ariel," he smiled at his daughter.

"Hi, daddy. Daddy, I want you to come home."

"I'll be home as soon as I can, baby. I can't talk long. Are Gram and Lex there for dinner?"

"Yeah, hold on," Kate held the phone out to Martha. "Rick wants to talk to you two."

"No!" Ari tried to grab the phone. "I want to talk to my daddy!"

"Ari, let daddy talk to Gram and Alexis. Then he'll talk to you and Jack again."

"No, not Jack! Just me! Give me the phone!"

"Martha, take the phone," Kate held the phone out to Martha before standing up and lifting Ari from the sofa. "Alexis, can you keep an eye on Jack?"

She then took the kicking, screaming child upstairs to her bedroom. "Mother, what's going on?" Castle asked his mother.

"It's been a long day and I'm afraid someone is a bit overwrought. You're looking so much better than you were the last time we spoke," she looked over at Jack, who was sitting in Alexis' lap.

"I'm tired, but I'm feeling better. Hopefully I'll be home soon. Let me talk to Alexis."

"Hi, dad," she took the phone from Martha.

"Hey, pumpkin. Hey, buddy," he smiled at Jack.

"Sissy's bad," the little boy lisped. "Sissy's very bad. Gonna get time out."

"Alexis, tell me about your puppy. I understand that you have a new member of your family."

"Brian got me a black Lab puppy. His name's Rook and he's a handful," Alexis smiled.

"Rook's my best friend," Jack chimed in.

"He and Jack are thick as thieves," Alexis agreed, ruffling her little brother's hair. She saw her dad smile, but she could also see the pain beginning to show. "You look tired, dad."

"I am a little," he admitted. "Pumpkin, can I talk to Ariel?"

"Sure," Alexis lifted Jack up and set him in his grandmother's lap. "Hold on just a minute."

Upstairs, Kate was sitting on Ari's bed trying to calm down her daughter, who was still kicking and screaming. "Ari," Kate smoothed her hand over her face, trying to soothe her. "Ariel Johanna, you need to calm down. Shh," she whispered into her hair, rocking her back and forth as Ari's screams and kicking eventually began to slow. She looked at the doorway and saw Alexis standing there, holding out the phone. "Ari, do you want to talk to daddy some more?"

"He's beginning to sound tired," Alexis whispered.

"Ari, daddy can't talk long. He's still not feeling great."

Ari reached out for the phone, smiling tearfully when she saw her daddy's smiling face. "Daddy, when are you coming home?"

"I don't know, baby. I miss you, Ariel. Please don't cry."

"Daddy, I'm scared."

"What're you scared of?"

"Everything," she whimpered.

"Ariel, you're safe now. Mommy isn't going to let anything happen to you or Jack. When I come home, I'll help mommy to keep all of us safe. You believe that, don't you?"

"Mommy said I can see you tomorrow," Ariel whispered. "Can we read the 'Velveteen Rabbit?'"

"Yeah, baby," he smiled. "I understand that mommy called Santa and told him to wait to come to our house. She told me that it was your idea. Ariel, you are so sweet and considerate."

"Ari, daddy needs to go to sleep. So do you and Jack," Kate told Ari.

"I love you, daddy," Ari kissed the screen of the phone as Castle caught her kiss and rubbed it all over his face as she giggled.

"Sweetie, go downstairs with Lex. I want to tell daddy goodnight," Alexis took Ari's hand and led her from the room as Kate took a deep breath. "Castle, I can't do this. I don't know how to help her."

"Kate, we'll talk tomorrow. It's going to be okay. I know that this is hard. I so wish that I could be there with you. I'm going to come home and we're going to figure this out together as a family. We're going to help Ariel. I promise you that she's going to be the same little girl that we all know and love."

"I hope so, Castle," she heard his quick intake of breath and knew that he had to be in agony. "I'm going to let you go so that you can get something for pain. I'll see you in the morning. Ari and I made you cookies."

"I can't wait," he kissed his phone screen as she did the same. "I'll see you tomorrow. I love you."

"I love you, too."

It was after midnight when Kate collapsed into bed. She wrapped her arms around Castle's pillow as tears streamed down her face. With the exception of two years before when she'd been pregnant with Jack, every Christmas Eve since they'd become a couple had been spent making love. Now she was alone with a seriously injured husband and a daughter who was possibly suffering from PTSD and extreme guilt. She knew what it was to be damaged. She didn't want Castle and Ariel to be damaged, too. Castle was the sweetest, most loving man she knew. And Ariel was like a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. She would dance around and sing silly songs. She'd play laser tag with her dad and Alexis like a pro, even though her fingers barely fit around the trigger of the gun.

Kate stopped sobbing when she heard a sound through the baby monitor upstairs. The word 'No' whispered over and over. She jumped out of bed and ran up the stairs two at a time at the same time as Martha. "I've got her," Kate told the older woman.

"That poor baby has had such a rough day," Martha said as she followed Kate into Ariel's room.

Kate sat on the edge of the bed and gathered Ari into her arms, noting from the smell that she'd wet the bed, another thing she hadn't done in a very long time. "Ari, it's okay. Wake up, baby. You're dreaming."

"I wet the bed," Ari whimpered in embarrassment.

"You know what? That's okay. Let's get you cleaned up, okay?"

"Can I wear one of daddy's t-shirts to bed?"

"Yes, you can," Kate kissed her sweat soaked skin as she stood up and carried her from the room.

"I'll change her bed," Martha whispered.

After bathing Ariel once again, Kate took one of Castle's superhero shirts and slipped it over her head, smiling at how much the huge shirt dwarfed her. She then took Ari into hers' and Castle's bed, pulling the covers over both of them. Holding her close to her, Kate was reminded of the first time Ari had ever been placed in her arms, just seconds after her birth. "I like wearing daddy's shirt," Ari sniffed the collar, cuddling closer to her mother. "It smells like he's home."

"That's also why I like wearing daddy's shirts."

"Mommy, are Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi mad at me?"

"No. Ari, why do you think that they're mad at you?"

"Because I don't want to talk about the bad man and the bad lady. I don't want you to get in trouble."

"Ari, everybody understands why you're not ready to talk about what happened, yet. I don't want you to worry about that anymore. How about if I tell you a story?"

"Like 'The Velveteen Rabbit?'" The beloved storybook was Ari's favorite book.

"This is even better. This is about the first time that daddy and I ever saw you right after you were born. Would you like to hear that story?"

"Daddy said that I was all wet and wrinkly," she made a face.

"Yes, you were pretty wet and wrinkly," Kate admitted as Ari giggled. "But you were also the most beautiful person that I'd ever seen. You were so tiny. Daddy took you from the doctor first and then he put you in my arms. Ariel, you stared up at me with these big, huge eyes. You looked just like your daddy and I fell in love with you so hard. I love your daddy, and I love Lex, but you were the first thing that was completely mine. I grew you in my tummy, and then there you were. My very own little girl. Do you know why you're so special?"

"Because you love my daddy?"

"Well, that's one reason. You're funny and smart. You're a good big sister to Jack and a good little sister to Lex. But what makes you really special to me is that you were my first baby. When you're sad, I'm sad. I know how much you miss your daddy. He's going to be home as soon as he can."

"The bad lady didn't want to hurt me," she whispered against Kate's breast. "But the bad man was mean."

"I know that he was mean, sweetie," Kate kissed the top of Ari's head, holding her close and smelling the combined aromas of children's soap and Castle. Looking down, she saw that Ari had fallen asleep with her thumb in her mouth. She pressed another kiss to her forehead before settling her down against Castle's pillow before quietly getting out of bed and leaving the bedroom.

She sat down on the couch and buried her head in her hands as the tears once again began to flow. She didn't know how long she'd been crying when she felt Martha's arms pulling her against her breast and softly rubbing her back. "You poor darling," Martha crooned. "I know that you are probably so tired of hearing this, but everything's going to be all right."

"Martha, my husband is laying in the hospital on Christmas seriously injured. Our daughter is severely traumatized. How are things going to be all right?" Kate sobbed.

"With time and with love," Martha forced Kate to look at her. "Right now that's all any of us has."

"My dad is going to take Jack in the morning. I want to have some time with Castle—"

"Alexis and I will take Ariel to the hospital. You go up there alone and spend some time with Richard. Text one of us when you're ready for us to bring her up there."

"Thank you, Martha," Kate smiled through her tears.

"So, are you going to move her—"

"I know that I don't like to let them sleep in our bed, but I don't have the heart to move her again. I'll just have to make her understand that this is a one-time thing. Good night, Martha," she hugged her mother-in-law before going back to hers' and Castle's bedroom. She climbed into bed beside her sleeping daughter and pulled the blankets over her as she fell into an exhausted sleep.

**A/N #2: The next chapter is going to switch focus from Ariel to Castle. Let's just say that Kate's really going to be exhausted.**

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	5. With Chains Upon My Feet

**DISCLAIMERS: I don't anything that you would recognize.**

**SUMMARY: Castle fears that Kate is teetering over the rabbit hole once again as he suffers a devastating step back.**

**A/N #1: This is going to be something of a filler chapter focusing mainly on Rick and Kate.**

**A/N #2: To VFBFan, who left the review saying that there hasn't been enough of Jack in this story. Please keep in mind that this is very early in what is going to be a long multi-chapter story. The main focus is going to be on Ariel and Castle, since they were the ones that were Tyson and Nieman's victims. Believe me when I tell you that much like Andrew W. Marlowe, I have an idea of where I'm going with my characters and my story. But, thank you for your concerns.**

Chapter 5: With Chains upon My Feet

_Christmas Day_

"Mrs. Castle! Wait!" The nurse ran after her. "Dr. Walker is in with your husband. He had a rough night."

"Rough how?" Kate suddenly felt panic-stricken.

"The pain was pretty extreme. Dr. Walker wanted to call you, but Mr. Castle wouldn't let him. He didn't want to wake you or your children up."

"Good morning, Mrs. Castle," Dr. Walker exited Castle's room, making notations on his chart. "Ms. Raglan, I have ordered 5 mg's of morphine IM every six hours for Mr. Castle's pain. Page me immediately if this dosage doesn't manage his pain," he handed the chart to the nurse.

"Yes, doctor," Ms. Raglan took the chart and put it away.

"Doctor, what was causing Castle's pain?" Kate asked.

"Let's go and sit down," the doctor motioned toward the waiting room where they both took seats. "The contusions on Mr. Castle's heart and lungs are causing his lungs to fill with fluid. I did a thoractomy, which was draining the fluid, but it was also extremely painful. II removed the original chest tube, but he started to suffer from congestion again. I did an x-ray which showed that his lungs were once again filling with fluid, so unfortunately I had to put the chest tube back in."

"How long do you think the chest tube will have to remain?"

"That's hard to say. It's draining a lot of fluid from his lungs. I'll have to monitor it day to day."

"Is it okay if we spend the day with him as a family? After all, it _is _Christmas."

"As long as he feels up to it. But, please try not to tire him."

Castle was trying to get comfortable, trying to find a position where he didn't feel the awful, persistent tugging in his ribs from the plastic tubing that was filling a bag with bloody fluid from his lungs. He'd seen the bag when one of the nurses had come in the night before to empty it. The sight had almost made him barf all over the bed. The morphine had dulled the pain to a low thud. He closed his eyes and tried to blot out the pain when he heard his door open. Opening his eyes, he smiled his happiest 'Glad to see Kate' smile when he saw his wife walking toward the bed. However, the smile vanished when he saw how tired she looked. Kate's eyes always told him everything that words couldn't. They told him when she was happy, when she was sad, when she was flirting. Right now they were telling him that she was exhausted. "Hey, you look tired," he reached for her hand.

"So do you. I hear that you had a rough night," she sat on the edge of his bed.

"I thought that you were bringing Ariel," his words sounded tired. Kate knew that was the morphine kicking in.

"Your mother and Alexis are going to bring her later. I wanted to spend some time alone with you."

"What's going on?"

"Who says there has to be something wrong for me to want to be alone with you? I love you, Rick," her voice caught as she looked down at the bed.

"Come here," he motioned for her to lie down beside him.

"Castle, you have a chest tube—"

"Just be careful. I need to feel you," he waved his hand as she carefully stretched out beside him, resting her head on his shoulder, feeling his arm curl around her. She rested her hand on his chest, avoiding his chest where the tube was taped.

She could feel the heat of him against her cheek. "You're running a fever," she stated, resting her hand on his lower abdomen.

"No, I'm just your typical red-blooded American male who's hot for his wife," he teased, pressing a kiss to her hair.

He didn't smell like he did at home when they were in bed. At home, he smelled like expensive cologne, body wash, and just Castle. Here, in this hospital bed, all Kate could smell was the antiseptic smell of the hospital. "How did it go with the psychologist?" His voice came out as a harsh rasp.

"Not very well. Ari didn't like her. She reveals bit and pieces to your mother and Alexis, but she won't talk to me about anything that happened that night. She told your mother that she bit Tyson."

"Good," Castle rasped out before he started coughing violently. "Kate . . . can't catch my breath."

"Okay, Rick. Relax," Kate grabbed the call button and frantically pressed it. She then pressed the button on the remote to raise the head of the bed up. "He's having trouble breathing!" She called out when the nurse entered the room.

The nurse hit a red button on the wall before coming over to the bed. "I'll have to ask you to leave, Mrs. Castle."

"No!" Castle grabbed for Kate's hand.

"It's just for a few minutes."

Kate reluctantly left the room, pulling her cell phone out as she paced the hallway. Martha answered on the first ring. "Martha, you're not going to be able to bring Ari up here today."

"Kate, what's wrong?"

"Everything!" Kate's voice broke on a sob. "Rick's running a fever; they had to put the chest tube back in and now he's having trouble breathing. I can't let Ari see him like this."

"Kate, she's going to be so disappointed."

"I know. Let me talk to her."

She heard Martha in the background, followed seconds later by her daughter's voice. "Hello?"

"Ari, I have some bad news. You're not going to be able to visit daddy today."

"But, you promised!"

"I know, sweetie, but you need to listen to me. Daddy's really sick right now. The doctor needs to make him better. I need for you to be a really big girl and do something for me. When Grandpa Jim comes to pick up Jack, I want you to go with him. You need to help Grandpa Jim with your brother. You know how much trouble he can get into."

"He's very fast."

"Yes, he is," Kate smiled. "And Grandpa Jim can't keep up with him like me and daddy can. Can you go and make sure that Jack stays out of trouble?"

"Can I talk to daddy on the phone later?"

"As soon as daddy feels better, I'll make sure that he calls you and Jack. Okay?"

"Not Jack, just me."

"Ari, he needs to talk to your brother, too. But, I'll tell you what we can do. I'll let you make a video for daddy. Do you want to do that?"

"Can I sing him some funny songs?"

"Daddy would like that very much. Let me talk to Gram."

"Gram, mommy wants to talk to you!"

"Katherine?"

"When my dad gets there for Jack, explain what's going on and tell him to take Ari with him. She's going to help take care of her brother. As soon as he picks up the kids, you and Alexis should get up here."

"I'll call Alexis and then I'll be on my way after Jim leaves."

"Thanks, Martha."

Kate hung up just as Dr. Walker came out of Castle's room and approached her. "I've ordered something for the fever. Under the circumstances, I don't think it's wise to let your daughter visit today."

"I know. I just got off of the phone with my mother-in-law. Is Castle going to be okay?"

"Mrs. Castle, your husband's injuries are quite serious. I think that he's pushing his recovery too fast. He needs to be convinced to let his body heal. He's sleeping right now, but maybe you can talk to him when he wakes up."

"Can I go back and sit with him?"

"Of course," he smiled gently before walking away.

Kate set her phone to vibrate and wiped at her eyes before steeling her spine to go back to sit with Castle. His bed had been raised to a 45 degree angle and he was sleeping with his head at an awkward angle. Kate sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand over his, caressing the back of his hand. Even after all of their time together, she could still look at him, feeling her heart do flips in her chest. She knew that if he were awake, he'd argue when she'd tell him that she still thought him ruggedly handsome with his partially shaved scalp and purple shadows under his eyes. His scruffy face reminded her of the first night she'd actually met him at that book signing. "Staring at me is creepy. Aren't you always telling me that?" He fixed his sleep-glazed blue eyes on her.

"Oh, I don't know. I kind of like staring at your rugged handsomeness."

"My chest feels like I have the worst cold ever," he winced.

"That's the congestion caused by the fluid build-up surrounding your heart and lungs. Castle, Dr. Walker thinks you're pushing your recovery. He says that you need to give your body a chance to heal."

"I need to get home to you and the kids. You're running yourself ragged trying to take care of me and then going home to have to deal with them. Maybe we should look into putting Jack into school for half of the day."

"We can discuss that when you come home. Right now, the schools are all closed for winter break. I can talk to the administrators at Marlowe Prep when I take Ari back to school. Speaking of which, what should I tell them? They're going to know what happened to you and her. It was all over the news. Plus, she's so . . . different."

"I'll be home by then. We'll talk to them together. Did she really bite him?" He was fading.

"Get some rest. We'll talk when you wake up."

"I'm so incredibly proud of her. She's so much like her mommy," he smiled one last time before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.

"She's like her daddy, too," she whispered back, listening to his deep breathing.

***CCC***

Jim Beckett walked into the house where Katie had grown up, carrying his grandson on one arm, with a diaper bag over his other shoulder, and being trailed by his granddaughter. "How about some pancakes?" He asked, putting the diaper bag on the dining room table.

"Pancakes!" Jack jumped up and down excitedly.

"I'm not hungry," Ariel sat down on the sofa.

"Are you sure? Your mommy loves my blueberry pancakes."

"Maybe I'll be hungry later."

"Okay, then."

Jim got the ingredients out to make pancakes while watching Ariel. He couldn't get over how much she looked like Katie at some times and like Rick, at others. Right now, she looked very much like her mother. While he'd been surprised when he'd been asked to take Ariel with him earlier, he was also pleased. He didn't get too many opportunities to spend time with both children. Usually their parents were there, or other family members. He loved playing with them and watching their very different personalities develop. Having grandchildren lessened the pain of not having Johanna, although he often thought of how much she would've loved having grandchildren.

Once the thought of having grandchildren seemed like a far off dream. Katie had been so immersed in her job for so long. But then, along came Richard Castle. He was glad that she had stopped fighting her feelings for him. Rick was funny and charming. He loved his family deeply. As soon as he got the kids settled, he'd text Katie to find out if she was still planning on coming over to the house so that the kids could open their Christmas presents.

Jim placed two small pancakes on Jack's plate, cutting them up before putting the toddler in his high chair, pushing it up to the table and putting the plate on the tray. He then went and filled a sippy cup with milk and put it beside the plate. "Ariel, are you sure that you're not hungry?" He called out, knowing that she had gone into Katie's old bedroom to play.

"No, thank you!"

Pouring himself a cup of coffee, Jim fixed his own pancakes before going to the table and sitting next to his grandson, who was eating like he hadn't been fed in weeks. His mouth was a mess of blueberries, butter, and syrup. "Good!" Jack smiled at his grandfather.

"I'm glad that you like them, buddy," Jim began eating his own breakfast.

***CCC***

Kate was fighting to keep her eyes opened as she sat beside Castle's bed, softly stroking his hand and watching him sleep. His sleep was constantly interrupted by fits of violent coughing. "Was it like this for you?" He wheezed. "When you had the chest tube after your shooting?"

"Yeah. It's going to get worse, Castle. They're going to assign you a respiratory therapist and he's going to make you cough several times a day. It's the fastest way to get rid of the fluid. But, it hurts like hell," she winced at the memory.

"Kate, I hate to break this to you, but it already hurts like hell."

"They can't give you anything else for pain right now, Rick. Morphine can depress your respiratory system. I can tell you a story."

"Great, now you're trying to take my job away from me," he teased her. "Tell me something about you that I don't know. After all of these years, there's got to be something that I don't know."

"My mom was a huge Gordon Lightfoot fan. Her favorite song was 'If You Could Read My Mind.'"

"'In a Castle dark or a fortress strong.' It kind of fits right now. But that's telling me something about your mom. Tell me something about _you _that I don't know."

Kate was about to answer when the door opened and a man wearing a white lab coat entered the room, carrying Castle's chart. "Let me guess. You're the respiratory therapist," she looked him over.

"I'm Mr. Lee. I'm here to administer a nebulizer treatment to Mr. Castle. I'm going to slip this mask over your mouth and turn on the machine. It's not going to taste too good, and it's going to make you cough. It's important that you don't repress your coughs. Are you ready?"

Castle nodded as the therapist slipped the mask over his nose and mouth, making sure it had a tight seal before turning on the machine. Castle jumped at the sudden noise, but then his mouth was filled with the foulest taste ever. He reached up for the mask, but Kate stopped his hand. "I know that it tastes awful, Castle, but believe me when I tell you that it helps. The sooner that we get this crap out of your chest, the sooner you can come home to me and our babies."

The treatment lasted 15 minutes; among the worst 15 minutes of Castle's life. He coughed and spit up some of the nastiest stuff ever. Afterwards, he drank some water and fell into an exhausted sleep. Kate rested her head on the heel of her hand as she watched him sleep. "I'm so scared, Castle," she whispered. "Our baby girl is so little and she's so afraid and I don't know how to help her."

***CCC***

Jim Beckett hadn't spent a lot of time actually playing with Katie when she was small. Sure, he'd taught her to ride a bike and later, a stick shift, but he'd never played any games with her. At least never any girly games. But Katie had always been more of a tomboy than a girly girl.

Now he found himself playing dress-up with his five-year-old granddaughter while her little brother played with his large collection of toy cars and trucks nearby. Thanks to Martha, Ariel had several large hats, feather boas, old high heels, costume jewelry, and pretend makeup. "Does your daddy play tea party with you?" Jim asked as Ariel patiently applied makeup to his cheeks.

"Only all of the time, darling," she drawled as Jim fought not to laugh. "You look marvelous. Now it's time for tea."

"Miss Ariel, before we partake of our tea party, do you mind if I take a couple of pictures?" He pulled out his cell phone.

"Put your hat on first," she instructed as Jim turned his phone toward the two of them and snapped a couple of pictures.

"What you doing?" Jack walked over, holding a large toy Ferrari. "Take picture, Pop-Pop."

"Get in the middle, Jack," Jim placed his grandson in between him and Ariel before taking one more picture.

"Look, Sissy. Daddy's 'Rari," Jack showed Ariel the car.

"That's not daddy's car. Daddy wrecked his car."

"When?"

"Ariel, let's have our tea party," Jim hastily said, diverting Ariel's attention away from her father's accident.

"Daddy not wreck. Daddy on a trip," Jack argued.

"He didn't wreck the 'Rari, stupid—"

"Ariel, we don't say that word," Jim cautioned her.

"Mommy says I have to say white lies! Lying is bad!" Ariel stormed from the room.

"Pop-Pop, Sissy's sad," Jack leaned against his grandfather's leg as Jim scooped him up.

"I know, buddy. I know."

Within a few minutes, Ariel came back into the bedroom and walked up to her grandfather, who lifted her onto his other knee. He cuddled her as she leaned into his chest, much like Katie had when she was small. "I'm sorry, Jack. I didn't mean to call you a bad name."

"I think its nap time," Jim announced as both kids whined in protest. "When you get up, you can help me make dinner. When mommy gets here, we'll see what Santa Claus left."

"But Santa Claus was going to wait for daddy."

"He came here, anyway. Come on; let's get your sleep mats out."

Once both kids were asleep, Jim went into the living room and sent the pictures he'd taken to Kate along with a message about Ariel's outburst.

***CCC***

Kate, Martha, and Alexis were sitting with Castle, chatting quietly when Kate felt her phone vibrate. She took it out and smiled when she saw the pictures her dad had taken of the kids. "I think the acting bug is running in the family," she chuckled when she showed the pictures to Castle and the others.

"Your father is an excellent sport," Martha smiled.

"Really? You should see how she dresses Rick up," Kate looked at her husband, who sheepishly hung his head as Martha and Alexis laughed.

"They look like they're going to the Kentucky Derby," Alexis continued laughing.

Kate's eyes clouded over when she read her father's text message. "Kate, what's wrong?" Castle asked.

"I'll be right back," she squeezed his hand before leaving the room.

"Mother, what's going on with Ariel?"

Martha looked down at her hands, so Alexis spoke up. "She's having a rough time."

"I should've just let him walk away," Castle rubbed his face. "When we first encountered Tyson, I should've just let him walk away. But, no. Instead I had to taunt him."

"Dad, this isn't your fault."

"If I had let him walk away that night, he would've left all of us alone. He wouldn't have gone after any of us."

"Dad, Ariel's going to be okay. I talked to one of my former psychology professors about her. He said kids bounce back from trauma much more quickly than adults do. He said the important thing is to let her come to us and not to keep asking her questions about it. So, he told me that we might want to advise the police to back off."

Kate came back into the room, her eyes red-rimmed and watery. She forced herself to smile as she took her seat next to Castle. "Darling, I think that Alexis and I are going to grab some coffee," Martha kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry, Kate," his eyes were soft as he looked at his wife.

"Castle, I don't blame you for this. My dad thinks that I might need to talk to Jack. Castle, he's not even two years old. What am I supposed to say to him?"

"Let's hold off on that. Alexis was just saying that her former psychology professor told her that we should let Ariel come to us and not pressure her into talking about what happened. I would suggest that same strategy with Jack. Let him ask questions. He's a two-year-old. Every other word in his vocabulary is 'Why?'"

"That makes sense. Maybe we're all focusing too much on what happened. If we all start refocusing our attentions on our everyday lives, maybe Ari will calm down and start acting like her normal self again."

"Well, she was playing tea party with your dad. That's a good start. I want you to do something for me," his eyes were soft, but serious. "Take some time for yourself. Get on that bike of yours and ride where the road takes you."

"Castle, there's snow on the ground and it's like 30 degrees. It's not the best time of year to hop on a motorcycle."

"Then, take a spa day with Lanie and Jenny. All I'm saying is that you need some time to just relax. Mother or Alexis will gladly take care of the kids for a few hours."

"Castle, now's not the right time—"

"Kate, I'm not going to die. I admit that I feel like shit right now, but I don't need you to sit by my side when you're not at work or with the kids. I'm going to be going back to rehab as soon as I get rid of this chest tube again. I plan on kicking ass so that I can get home by Jack's second birthday. I have two weeks, Kate. Two weeks to get home to you, Ariel, and Jack."

She could see how determined he was. She knew that he could be a bull when he had his mind set on something. But so could she. "I promised my dad that I'd be there to have dinner with him and the kids. Then we're going to watch the kids open their gifts from him. But, we're going to have _our _Christmas when you get home."

"We'll have _our _Christmas when I get home if you promise to do something for yourself."

"Fine, I'll call Lanie and Jenny for a girl's day out. Call me later?"

"I'll call before you put the kids to bed so I can say goodnight to them," he smiled.

"I'm going to go," she stood up and kissed him, making a face. "You seriously need to brush your teeth."

"I will," he grinned, waving as he watched her leave the room. But the grin vanished the second that she was out of sight. He lay back against his pillows, his visage dark. He cursed the day that Jerry Tyson had ever entered their lives.

***CCC***

Ariel was sitting on the counter watching her grandfather prepare dinner while Jack played with his cars and trucks in the living room. "Is mommy really on her way?" Ariel asked for the fifth time.

"She sent me a text a little while ago. She should be here any time now."

"Pop-Pop, I want to cook," Jack announced, still clutching the red Ferrari in his hand.

"Jack, you're such a wiggle worm that if you sit on this counter and fall off, your mommy will be very upset with me," Jim knelt down in front of the small boy.

"I won't fall," he solemnly vowed, his blue eyes huge.

"Go away, Jack," Ariel told him.

"Ariel, don't speak to your brother like that."

"Hey, is anybody home?" Kate entered the house using her key. Jack squealed in delight and raced into her arms as she laughed, scooping him into her arms. "Hey, little man!"

"Mommy, where's daddy?" Jack clung to her neck as she stood up and walked into the kitchen.

"Hi, dad," she kissed her father on the cheek before turning her attention to Ariel. "Hi, chunky monkey."

"I'm going to go play," Ariel announced as her grandfather helped her down from the countertop. "Come on, Jack."

"Go play with Sissy," Kate put her son on the floor. "I want to talk to Pop-Pop. She's pissed at me, huh?" She looked at Jim after the kids had left the room.

"Katie, there were plenty of times when you got mad at me or your mother. I think we both got over it. How's Rick?"

"Well, they had to reinsert the chest tube, but he seems to be doing a little better."

"You look exhausted," he noted. "You can leave the kids here tonight if you want to get some sleep."

"Not on Christmas, dad. Thank you for keeping them today and for playing dress-up with Ari. I promise that none of your friends will ever see those pictures."

"She's a great little girl, Katie. She reminds me of the best of you and Rick. With more than a dash of Martha thrown in for good measure."

"Oh, you should see her when she doesn't want to eat her broccoli," Kate smiled.

"Shakespearean, huh?"

"Something like that. And it's even more dramatic when she gets Jack involved. The poor kid doesn't even understand what he's protesting against," they both chuckled. "But, if Sissy's upset, so is he."

"Do you ever wish you'd had siblings?" Jim asked.

"Sometimes when I was a kid I thought it would've been cool to have an older brother so that he could introduce me to his friends," she smirked as her father rolled his eyes. "I got used to being an only child. I liked not having to share you and mom with anybody. There are times that I feel so divided. It's hard when they both need me at the same time."

"Like now?"

"Yeah, like now," she sighed. "I'll be right back."

Walking into her old bedroom, so many memories came flooding back. Mainly memories of being that wild child who would sneak out of her bedroom window after lights out. One particular memory of sneaking back in to find her mother sitting on the end of her bed, arms folded, anger smoldering just below the surface. _"Katie, if I had done this to your grandmother, I wouldn't be sitting for a week. Give me your car keys."_

"_But, mom," she'd protested._

"_Car keys, Katherine. Don't make me wake up your father."_

To her knowledge, her mom had never told her dad about that night. When her father had asked why Katie wasn't going anywhere, Johanna had said something about her needing to bring her grades up. She smiled at the memory. Walking into the room, she saw Jack lying on his stomach, rolling his beloved Ferrari over some building blocks. Looking at the bed, she saw a pair of Ugg's sticking out, looking like the Wicked Witch in 'The Wizard of Oz.' "Ari, what're you looking for?"

"Does she have a name?" Ari crawled out from under the bed, clutching a huge rag doll. "Grandpa Jim said that she was yours. What's her name?"

"Her name is Raggedy Ann. She used to have a brother named Raggedy Andy, but there was an accident."

"A car accident? Like daddy's?"

"No, a dog got him," Kate made a face.

"Did you cry? I cried when Jane got hurt."

"Yeah, I cried for a long time."

"Mommy, play cars with me," Jack climbed into Kate's lap.

"Later," she kissed his head. "Jack, daddy isn't on a trip."

"Where he at?"

"He and Sissy had a car accident. Daddy is in the hospital so that the doctors can make him better."

"Is he okay?"

"He has a lot of boo-boo's, but he's getting better every day. He can't wait to come home so that he can be with all of us. He misses you and he told me to give you this," she began kissing her son's neck as Jack began howling with laughter, squirming in her arms. "Guess what, Ari?" Kate reached for her daughter as Ari began laughing and trying to get away from her. "He told me to nibble on you, too."

Jim stopped in the doorway, smiling at his only child and her two kids in a pile on the floor, laughing and rolling all over each other. "No more, mommy! I have to go to the bathroom!" Ari moved away from her mom and ran past her grandfather.

"At least she warned you," Jim said.

"Yeah, she gets a little too excited sometimes. Is dinner ready?" She stood up and picked Jack up, smothering him with kisses.

"Yeah."

It was after 11 when Kate pulled into the parking garage, looking in the rearview mirror at Ari and Jack, who were asleep in their seats, Ari clutching the Raggedy Ann doll that had been hers when she was a girl. The back end of the SUV was loaded down with new toys, courtesy of their extremely generous grandfather. After they'd opened gifts, they'd gotten to talk to their father for a little while on the phone. She took out her phone and called Martha. "Martha, can you meet me down in the garage? The kids are both asleep and I hate to wake them up. I'll get their presents out tomorrow. Thank you."

A few minutes later, the elevator door opened into the garage and Martha stepped out, walking over toward Kate's SUV. "You take Jack," Martha opened the door behind the passenger seat, quietly unbuckling Ariel from her booster seat. "I've got Ariel. Oh, did she get Raggedy Ann for Christmas? I wasn't sure they even still made them. Alexis had one when she was little."

"She was mine," Kate unbuckled Jack from his car seat and carefully lifted him out into her arms. "According to my dad, she was the first doll my mom ever got me."

"She's huge," Martha commented, adjusting her granddaughter and the large rag doll in her arms.

"Until I was four, she was taller than me. But, thanks to Raggedy Ann, I get to avoid the chaos of the day after Christmas at FAO Schwartz."

When they entered the loft, they took the children to their respective rooms. Martha put Ariel on her bed and removed her Ugg's, before placing her under her Dora the Explorer sheet and comforter, smoothing her long honey colored curls from her face. "Hi, Gram," Ariel opened her eyes and gave her grandmother a sleepy smile, looking very much like her father at that moment.

"Hello, darling girl. It's very late and you should go back to sleep."

"'Kay," she rolled over, pulling the Raggedy Ann doll closer to her and popping her thumb into her mouth.

In Jack's Spiderman-themed bedroom, Kate changed her son's diaper and put him into a pair of footed pajamas before carrying him to his toddler bed and placing him under the covers. She stood next to his bed, marveling at how much he looked like Castle, especially when he was asleep or when he was being an impish troublemaker. She brushed her hand at her eyes, willing herself not to cry when she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Go take a hot shower and go to bed," Martha's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Goodnight, Martha," Kate hugged the older woman.

Settling into bed after her shower, she pulled Castle's pillow to her chest and pulled out her phone. It was too late to call him, so she brought up her photo album and scrolled through the hundreds of pictures she had of him on her phone. As she had for the past six nights, she once again cried herself to sleep.

**A/N #3: This is going to end Part 1. Part 2 is going to be longer, and is going to start with a time jump. It's also going to shift focus somewhat to Castle's recovery. **

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	6. Hard Fought Battles

**DISCLAIMERS: Yeah, I wish that they were mine, but alas, I will have to continue dreaming.**

**SUMMARY: Castle prepares for his homecoming and makes a shocking confession to Kate regarding the night he and Ariel were attacked.**

**A/N #1: Parts 2 & 3 will be longer than Part 1.**

**A/N #2: Special Agent Jordan Shaw will be making an appearance in this chapter.**

**In a Castle Dark or a Fortress Strong**

**PART II**

Chapter 6: Hard Fought Battles

_January 2_

Kate stepped off of the elevator, holding her key in her hand as she stepped up to the front door of the loft. It was a little after nine and she was wiped. She'd gotten off duty at five and then had gone to the hospital to spend a few hours with Castle. His recovery was coming along slowly, but the doctors were optimistic that he'd be coming home within the next week to 10 days.

Kate was anxious to get him home. She allowed the kids to talk to him on Skype every night before bed, but the question she got asked a thousand times a day was 'When is daddy coming home?' She didn't even try to give them an answer any more.

And then there was the topic of Ari. She had spoken to Special Agent Jordan Shaw two days after Christmas and she hadn't liked the direction the conversation had gone in.

"_Kate, I know that she's your child. I know that she's five years old and traumatized. But we need to wrap this up."_

"_Jordan, does it matter? Tyson and Neiman are dead. Does it really matter how it came about or what Ari saw?"_

"_Are you seriously asking me that question?"_

"_She won't talk. She won't talk and I refuse to push her. She's been through enough. I think it's time to just let her be a normal little girl again," Kate pushed her hair back._

"_Kate, don't make me go before a judge."_

"_Do what you have to do, Jordan. I'm telling you right now that she won't talk." _

The conversation had ended when Kate had hung up on Jordan. She pushed the conversation out of her mind as she entered the loft. She was surprised when Jack ran up to her and threw his arms around her legs, hugging her knees. "James Jackson Castle, what're you still doing awake?" She swung him up into her arms, feeling chubby arms and legs wind around her.

"I put him to bed a dozen times," Martha got up and walked over toward her. "I'd no sooner put him to bed and come back down here when I'd hear little footsteps on the stairs. I got tired of fighting him," she sighed.

"Martha, I am so sorry. I should've come home sooner—"

"Katherine, we're all tired. Well, I'm going to leave him in your more than capable hands and I'm going to bed. Goodnight, dear. Goodnight, Jack," she planted a soft kiss on top of her grandson's head.

"Goodnight, Martha," Kate carried the small bundle in her arms over to Castle's recliner and settled into it, feeling Jack settle against her breast, his small hands clutching at her shirt much as he had when he was a baby. He looked up at her and gave her a small smile, his lips quirking up exactly like Rick's. "You were supposed to be asleep two hours ago, little man. When grandma puts you to bed, you stay in your bed."

"'Kay, mommy," he gave her another sleepy smile before his eyes fluttered closed.

Kate slowly rocked in the recliner, inhaling the smell of watermelon scented soap and the unique scent that was her son. There were times when she still had trouble wrapping her mind around those two words: _her son_. It was rare now that he actually wanted to cuddle in her lap, unlike Ari who loved to sit in her lap to be read to, or just to be held. Jack was a typical toddler boy, who loved playing with his cars and trucks or racing around the apartment pretending to be a Superhero. Kate stroked his soft brown hair, curling it under her fingers as his breathing became deeper and more regular. His fingers twitched against her breast as she kissed him on top of his head. She finally struggled to her feet with her bundle in her arms and made her way up the stairs to his bedroom, where she walked over and tucked him into his bed, pulling his covers up around him.

Once she got Jack settled into his bed, she left the room and pulled the door ajar before going next door to Ari's bedroom, where her daughter was asleep on top of the covers, the Raggedy Ann doll clutched to her side and her thumb in her mouth. Lifting her legs, she put them under the covers and bent down to kiss her on her forehead. She thought about the meeting that she had Monday morning with Ari's kindergarten teacher and the headmaster from Marlowe Prep. She wanted them to be prepared for possible meltdowns from Ari. Things had been relatively quiet during the past week, but only because everybody in the family had kept things as normal as possible for both kids.

Once she left Ari's room, she went the short distance down the hall to the guest room where Martha had been staying and tentatively knocked on the door. "Come in!" She heard the muffled voice of her mother-in-law from behind the closed door.

Kate walked in and smiled at the sight of Martha lounging on the bed, her tablet perched in her lap. "Martha, I'm so sorry that Jack gave you such a rough time tonight."

"Katherine, I'm not angry with you. I know that you're doing the best that you can. It's just that nights like tonight remind me that I'm not exactly a young woman, anymore."

"I've already arranged to take two or three weeks of leave when Rick comes home, to help him get oriented again. I think while I'm home I'll see if I can hire someone to come in to help."

"Katherine—"

"Just until Castle's back on his feet again. He's not going to be able to chase Jack around while he's on crutches and it isn't fair to leave things up to you or Helen. After all, she's not a young woman, either, and she's already taking care of her two grandchildren. I just feel like such a failure," she sighed.

"How in the hell can you say that? Because you're admitting that you need help? Kate, Richard didn't utilize a nanny because he had a job where he was here all day. I had to hire help. I'm an actress and had a job where I was away from home several times a year and also where I was working late into the evenings. You're not going to become one of those despicable women who are going to let another woman raise her children. You just need someone who can keep things under control when you're not here. That's not a sign of weakness or that you're a failure."

"I just wish sometimes that Jack was a calm child like Ari," Kate smiled wistfully.

"Jack is his father's son. Richard challenged me constantly when he was Jack's age. I have a feeling that young Master Castle is going to be the same way."

"I told Rick once that I should've named Jack Richard Junior," Kate remembered.

"Go talk to Richard," Martha squeezed Kate's hand. "Tell him goodnight and get some sleep."

Kate left the guest room and went downstairs, locking up and turning off the lights before going into hers' and Castle's bedroom. Sitting down on the bed, she brought his number up in her contacts list. He answered on the first ring. "What's going on? I was beginning to worry."

"Jack was still up, so I had to put him to bed. Rick, when you come home, I want to see about hiring someone to help with Jack and Ari while I'm at work."

"Kate—"

"Rick, I'm going to be home for a few weeks, but once I go back to work, you're not going to be able to take care of them. At least not right away. It's just until you're able to take over again. Your mom can't do it, anymore." She could see that he wasn't crazy about the idea. He'd prided himself on being able to take care of Alexis without the help of a nanny. But he'd been able-bodied back then. "I love you. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."

"I love you, too," he ended the call, sounding hurt and lost.

Kate put her phone on the nightstand and went into the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for bed. When she came out of the bathroom, she sighed when she found Ari sitting on the end of the bed, with the rag doll hanging from one hand. "Ari, what're you doing out of bed?" She sat down as Ari climbed into her lap, wrapping her legs around her mother.

"Is my daddy coming home Monday?"

"No, sweetie. Me and daddy have a meeting with daddy's doctor next week to see when he's coming home. Hopefully it won't be too much longer. I know that you miss him. Are you excited to go ice skating with Alexis and Brian tomorrow?"

"I guess. Do I have to go to school Monday?"

"Ari, we've talked about this. I'm going to take you to school and I'm going to be there to pick you up. You're going to be perfectly safe."

"People are going to see my leg. It's ugly."

In the throw from the car, Ari had suffered severe road rash on one of her legs. The wound itself was healing, but it was leaving an ugly scar in its wake. The children's pediatrician had told Kate that the scar would fade in time, but in the meantime they were trying to find ways to cover the scar. "You're going to be wearing tights under your uniform just like you always do. Nobody's going to see your leg. Now, it's late and you need to go back to sleep."

"Can't I—"

"No, Ariel. This is mommy and daddy's bed. You have your bed upstairs," Kate stood up, lifting Ari into her arms and taking her upstairs to her bedroom and placing her in her bed. "I love you. Go to sleep."

***CCC***

Castle was playing poker on his tablet the next morning when Alexis and Brian walked in. "Hi, dad," she walked over to his bed and kissed him on the cheek.

"Hey, pumpkin, Brian," Castle managed a smile, one that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Dad, is something wrong?"

"Kate wants to hire some . . . nanny to come in and take care of the kids," he spit the words out in disgust.

"I'm sure it's not forever. What brought on the conversation?" Alexis sat down in the chair at his bedside.

"She came home last night and Jack was still up. I guess your Gram was worn out."

"Still, I'm sure that it's temporary. You're going to be going to therapy and you're not going to be able to chase after the kids. Kate's going to be working."

"I just don't want some stranger in our home taking care of _our_ kids."

"Dad, it's not like this person is going to be alone with them. You're still going to be there. Again, it's temporary. I'm sure that Kate doesn't want to do this, either. Dad, she's doing the best that she can." 

"I know. I just want to go home, Alexis. I'm missing so much of their lives," his voice caught as Alexis put her hand over his. "I remember when you were really little and I had to go on book tours. I'd come home and you would've learned so many new things. But this is out of my control and I hate it!"

"I know. That's why we send you videos. I know that it isn't the same as seeing them every day. Kate told me that you're meeting with Dr. Walker next week. He's hopeful that you'll be released in the next week."

"Has everything been all right at home?"

"Everything's been fine. We all miss you," Alexis smiled. "We're going to leave here to pick up the kids to take them ice skating. That way, Kate can come up here and Gram can get some peace and quiet."

"Have fun," he smiled as she gave him another kiss. "Get some video for me."

"We will," Brian promised.

***CCC***

Kate was sitting on the sofa with a child on either side of her and her tablet perched on her knees. She was looking at a program that Castle had downloaded that allowed the kids to take different paths in the story that was on the screen. The kids loved the program because it was like reading a different story every time. She was in the middle of reading the story when the house phone rang. "Hold on. Let me answer the phone," she got up and put her tablet on the table before answering the phone. "Hello?"

"Mrs. Castle, this is Eduardo. I've got a woman named Jordan Shaw down here. She says that she knows you."

"It's okay, Eduardo. You can send her up."

"Right away."

When things had heated up with Tyson and Nieman, Castle and Kate hadn't taken any chances with anybody's safety. The doorman had been instructed to call upstairs before anybody that they weren't familiar with was allowed up. "Ari, would you please take your brother upstairs? Jordan is here and I need to talk to her in private."

"Jordan's here?" Jack jumped off of the sofa and began racing around the living room excitedly.

"Jack, settle down," Kate cautioned the little boy as the doorbell rang. Both kids followed her to the door, Jack still jumping up and down. "Jordan, please come in," Kate opened the door and stepped back as the FBI agent entered the apartment.

"Jordan!" Jack hopped up and down.

"Hello, Jack. Hello, Ariel. My goodness, you two are growing like crazy."

"Jordan, look at my doll!" Ariel showed Jordan the Raggedy Ann doll she'd inherited from her mother.

"She's very pretty. Hey, can you guys do me a favor?" She knelt down to face them. "I really need to talk to your mom in private for a little while. I promise that I'll come upstairs to see your new Christmas presents as soon as I'm done."

"I'll take them, Agent Shaw," Martha came downstairs and held a hand out to the kids. "Come on, you two. Let's let mommy and Agent Shaw have their privacy."

"Jordan, are you going to talk about me?" Ariel asked, her eyes huge in her face.

"Ariel, we're just going to talk about grownup stuff. That's all," Jordan tried to assure the little girl.

"Ariel, come on," Martha urged her once again as Ariel finally turned and followed her grandmother and brother up the stairs.

"We can talk in Rick's office," Kate walked into Castle's office and closed the door once Jordan was inside. "Did you bring a subpoena with you?" She asked, sitting in Castle's office chair.

"Kate, I understand how you feel. I'm a mom. I get it. If it was Hannah that the police wanted to question, I'd probably react the same way that you are. And if it was just me asking, I'd probably just let it go. But Kate, I have to answer to my bosses. And my bosses want to get this wrapped up."

"Jordan, it's taken two weeks to just get Ari to act like a normal five-year-old again. That first week, she reverted back to sucking her thumb and wetting the bed. She won't talk about it. I even got a psychologist to talk to her and that fell apart. She gets to a certain point and then she just freezes. I don't understand why it's so important. Tyson and Nieman are dead. There's no more danger."

"It's just to fill in the blanks. Kate, they want us to talk to Rick, too."

"He gave his statement to Ryan and Esposito," Kate raked her hands through her hair.

"I know, but we got involved, Kate. And, as you well know, the police and the feds never share information. How is he?"

"He's doing okay physically. We have a meeting with his doctor on Thursday. We're hoping that he'll be coming home within the next week. Jack's second birthday is next Sunday," she smiled wistfully. "I'm hoping he'll be home for that, but I'm not holding my breath. More than likely, it'll be a week from Monday or Tuesday."

"Kate, do you think it would help if Rick was there when Ari talks to my people? I've already got an excellent psychologist that's willing to come in to guide them."

"You're not going to talk to her?"

"Kate, I can't talk to her. I have a relationship with her, albeit it's not a huge one. Would it help to have Rick there?" She asked again.

"It would help if I knew what you were going to ask her."

"Kate, we can't have you or Castle coaching her."

"Jordan—" Kate put her hands over her eyes as she tried to focus on breathing. She just wanted to scream or bang her head into a wall. Tyson and Neiman were dead. Why couldn't everybody just let them dwell in hell where they both belonged? Why couldn't everybody let her husband and her daughter live in peace? Why did everybody insist on making them relive that night over and over? "You know what, Jordan? You and your FBI compadres do what you want to do! Because you're going to anyway! I'm tired! I'm tired of sitting with Castle day after day, constantly reassuring him! I'm tired of coming home and having to take care of my kids who just want to know when their daddy is coming home! I want to know when somebody is going to take care of me!"

Jordan didn't say anything. She simply got up and walked over to Castle's chair, wrapping her arms around Kate, as she sobbed. Being a wife and a mother herself, she understood that Kate was overwhelmed by everything that was going on. She worried about her husband and her child. But Jordan also had a job to do. And her bosses were putting the pressure on to finish up the remaining paperwork and put this nightmare to bed, once and for all. "Kate, listen to me," Jordan knelt down by the chair, forcing Kate to look at her. "Right now, nobody is going to take care of you. That's just the way that things are. But, you've had to take care of yourself before." Kate knew that Jordan was referring to the period after her mother's murder. "Right now, you're going to have to bring back that part of yourself. Because, like it or not, Castle, Ariel, and Jack need you to look after them. But I know how much Castle loves you. I know that as soon as he's able, he's going to step up to the plate to take care of you."

Kate was about to say something when the doorbell rang. She glanced at her watch before getting up from Castle's chair. "Alexis and her husband are here to pick up the kids," she wiped at her face.

"That's okay. I need to go, anyway. Oh, Hannah told me to tell you that if you need a babysitter, to give her a call. She's trying to save money for a new phone."

Kate smiled. Hannah was Jordan's 17-year-old daughter. Both Ari and Jack adored her and she them. "I will keep that in mind. At least she's young enough to keep up with Hurricane Jack."

"Kate," Martha opened the door, "Alexis and Brian are here for the kids."

"I'll be right out."

"So, that's what you're calling your son these days?" Jordan smiled. "I would've thought you'd be calling him 'Mini-Castle.'"

"Oh, I do that, too."

After ushering the kids out the door for their outing with their sister and brother-in-law, Kate also said goodbye to Jordan before going into hers' and Castle's bedroom to get dressed to go to the hospital. "So, do you feel better?" Martha stepped into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. "After your little outburst? Do you feel better?"

"I'm sorry, Martha. Did the kids hear me?" She asked as Martha's response was simply an arched eyebrow. "Oh my god."

"It's quite all right. I explained that mommy was having a temper tantrum. That's something that they both understand. Darling, we've all been there. Do you remember when you and Richard met that retired detective in that diner?" Kate nodded. "I got so angry at Richard that I could've spit nails. I remember asking him what if it had been him that got shot instead of that detective. He was so glib when he asked me where that was coming from. I told him that as much as he loves Alexis that that's how much I love him. I remember going upstairs to my room later and just throwing stuff. I didn't understand how he could think that I don't love him."

"I just feel like I'm being pulled in so many different directions. At times I feel like I'm suffocating from all of the directions."

"And from everybody needing you. Kiddo, it's not going to get easier when Richard comes home. He's going to be on crutches and he's going to be worse than he was when he broke his knee. Have you talked to him about seeing a therapist?"

"Not yet. I've gotta go," she hugged the older woman. "I already told Alexis that I'd pick the kids up before I come home."

"Tell my son I'll be up there this evening."

"I will."

***CCC***

When Kate walked into Castle's hospital room, she saw that he was dozing. But as if he sensed that she was there, he opened his eyes and gave her a sleepy smile, one of her favorite kinds of Castle smiles. "Hey," his voice was a rough drawl. "I was just dreaming about you."

"Really? What were you dreaming about?" She came over and sat on the edge of his bed.

"The day that you married me," he smiled. "Sometimes I dream about you, me, and the babies on the beach at the Hamptons. Do you remember when we took each of them out into the ocean for the first time?"

"Ari's eyes were so big," Kate smiled at the memory. "Remember how loud Jack squealed? He was so excited. You'll be back on your feet before the weather gets warm again, Castle. We'll take the babies and go back to the Hamptons."

"Mother texted me a little while ago. She said that you were upset. Kate, I'm so sorry that I've piled all of this on you. I wish that Jerry Tyson had never crossed paths with us. I should've just let him walk that night. I never should've challenged him."

"Castle, none of this is your fault."

"I was careless that afternoon, Kate," he looked at her with an expression of such extreme sadness that it broke her heart. "When I picked Ariel up at school, I ordered my security guy to stand down. They hadn't done in anything in weeks and I thought—"

"You thought what, Castle? You thought that they'd given up? They were waiting for an opening, Castle! They were waiting for an opportunity and you gift wrapped one for them! They were watching us, Castle! One or the other of them was probably waiting and watching near the school and they saw you send our security away!"

"Kate, I'm so sorry," he began sobbing. "Right now you can't possibly hate me as much as I hate myself."

"I don't hate you," tears were streaming down her face, as well. "I love you. Castle, you made an error in judgment. Did you tell Ryan and Esposito about that?"

"No."

"Castle, Jordan Shaw came by this morning. Her bosses are really pressuring her about talking to Ari. But they also want to talk to you."

"Kate, I gave my statement to the boys," he stammered.

"I know, but since the FBI got involved, they also have to get a statement from you. Castle, I've been trying to postpone letting them talk to Ari. She's just now starting to act like her old self again. I just want her to forget. Jordan's going to try to put her bosses off until you get out of the hospital. She figures that maybe Ari will talk if you're with her."

"Why me? Why not you?"

"Ari won't open up to me."

Castle closed his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the catch in his ribs. "Kate, I'm tired. I can't fix her any more than I can fix myself. If it weren't for me, none of this would've happened."

"Wow, you and I are quite the pair today with the pity parties, aren't we? Castle, you made a mistake. It happened and you can't change it. But you're here and you're alive. Right now, you have to hold onto that."

"I have nightmares, Kate. Nights when I wake up hearing Ariel screaming for me. Why did they throw her from the car?"

"We don't know. That's one of the holes that the FBI wants to close. It's one of the things that Ari refuses to talk about. Every time one of us even broaches the subject, she shuts down."

"Where did she bite Tyson?" He asked as Kate gave him a puzzled look. "You told me that Ariel bit him. Where did she bite him?"

"I don't know. I could ask Lanie or Perlmutter."

"Kate, I'm sorry," he reached up to cup her cheek with his hand. "I know that this has been so hard on you. But I'll be home soon and things will get better. We're going to get Ariel back to the way she was before all of this happened."

"I'm just so tired all of the time, Castle. I wake up tired and I go to bed tired. They need me at work, you need me, Ari needs me, Jack needs me. I think about how close I came to losing you and Ari that night—"

"You didn't lose us. We're right here."

She stretched out alongside him on the bed, feeling his arm snake securely around her. She rested her head on his shoulder, being mindful of where she put her hand on his torso, not wanting to brush up against the healing incision from his thoracotomy. She still couldn't wrap her mind around what he'd just told her. She wanted to be angry at him for releasing their security detail. She wanted to ask him what he'd been thinking. But she knew how much he loved his kids. She knew how much he loved her. She knew that this had to be killing him inside. "Rick?"

"Hmmm?" His voice was drowsy.

"I'm sorry. It can wait."

"No. What's on your mind?"

"Has Dr. Walker suggested a therapist when you get out of here?"

"Uh, I saw someone years ago when . . . when Meredith filed for divorce. Does it really help?" He asked, referring to her sessions with Burke.

"If you put in the time and the work, yes, it helps. Why?"

"Because I didn't really get anything out of it when I went before."

"Maybe you weren't seeing the right therapist. Or maybe you weren't letting it help. I know that I resisted Burke's advice for a long time. Once I quit resisting, it helped a lot. If you want, I can have Burke suggest someone."

"Yeah. Do that," he hissed and made a face.

"How long has it been since you've had something for the pain?"

"A while," he admitted.

"I'll ring for your nurse," she kissed him softly on the mouth.

She sat beside him for a little while after he took his pain pill. He'd been giggly for a short time and then he'd fallen asleep. She sat there for about 10 minutes before getting up and stepping out. She pulled out her phone and dialed Alexis' number. "Hey Lex, I'm going to be a little late picking the kids up. I need to stop by Lanie's first."

"Kate, it's okay. Take your time. Brian already told them that we'd order pizza and watch Disney movies. They're fine."

"Thanks, sweetie."

Forty-five minutes later, Kate was sitting in her car outside of Lanie's apartment building. She finally took a deep breath and got out of her, walking into the building and going up the stairs to her best friend's apartment. "Hey girl," Lanie opened the door to Kate's knock. "Are you okay? You sounded a little frazzled on the phone."

"Lanie, I feel like I'm seriously losing it," Kate strode into the apartment and Lanie closed the door behind her. "The FBI is demanding to talk to Ari, I need help with the kids, and Castle—"

"What about Castle? I thought he was doing all right."

"He just told me that the afternoon of the accident; he sent the security detail away. Why did he do that? I'm so pissed off at him right now! Then I look at him and see how guilty he feels and I tell myself that I don't have any right to be mad at him."

"Kate, you have every right to be pissed at him. He knew what Tyson and Nieman were capable of. Did he say why he released the detail?"

"He said that Tyson and Nieman hadn't done anything in weeks. I guess he thought that they'd backed off to plan their next move. It was just a bad judgment call."

"A bad judgment call that almost got him and your daughter killed," Lanie reminded her.

"That night, I didn't want to go to the hospital with him," Kate's eyes filled with tears. "I wanted to look for Ari. I wanted to find them and kill them. But Gates insisted that I needed to go with him."

"You're a mom, Kate. Of course your first thoughts are going to be with your child."

"Castle was so scared that night, Lanie. He was crying and begging me to please find Ari. He kept apologizing for not being able to get to her. He told me that he has nightmares where he hears her crying out for him. I'm going to call Dr. Burke tomorrow to see if he can recommend a therapist for him," Kate ran her hands over her face wearily.

"Girlfriend, do you know what we need? A girl's day out. Get our nails done, maybe have a spa day."

"Castle suggested that I do exactly that. Lanie, I have so much going on right now. I have to meet with Ari's teacher tomorrow, Castle's doctor later in the week, I have to plan Jack's birthday party next weekend, I have to get the loft ready for Castle to come home."

"Kate, I'm looking at someone who looks like she's seconds away from a nervous breakdown. Friday morning, I'm coming by the loft after you take Ari to school and Jack to the sitter's. I'm not taking no for an answer. Tell Gates that you're taking a personal day."

"I have to go and pick up the kids," she glanced at her watch before standing up.

"Kate, you're going to be okay," Lanie hugged her. "I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks, Lanie."

**A/N #3: I wasn't crazy about this chapter. It didn't turn out exactly as I planned. **

**A/N #4: I apologize for making Kate seem so needy and whiny in this chapter, but my thinking is she probably feels like she's being stretched like a rubber band. Warning: She hasn't even hit her breaking point, yet. That's still a few chapters in the future.**

**A/N #5: The Castle cast returns to work next week. I'm so excited!**

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	7. She's Really with You, Dude?

**DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything that you'd recognize.**

**SUMMARY: Kate has a conversation with the headmaster at Ari's school while Castle continues his therapy and has a humorous, interesting conversation with his physical therapist. The topic? Beckett, of course.**

**A/N #1: I want to thank everybody for the great reviews and words of encouragement for Chapter 6. This chapter is going to be lighter because I can't deal with more exhaustion right now.**

**A/N #2: I also noticed that I was misspelling Neiman's name in the previous chapter.**

Chapter 7: She's really with You, Dude?

_January 4_

"Can I talk to daddy before I go to school? He always kisses me and tells me to have a good day on the first day of school," Ari was standing in between Kate's knees as her mother deftly braided her long hair into twin pigtails.

"As soon as you have breakfast, I'll let you call daddy. Okay? Now turn around and let me look at you," Kate instructed as Ari turned to face her.

Kate smiled at the sight of her tiny little girl in her blue Marlowe prep blazer, white shirt, and dark blue skirt. In New York, the hunt for the perfect school started at conception. When Kate had discovered that she was pregnant with Ari, she had also learned how wonderful it was to be married to a best-selling author. She was able to jump to the front of the line. It also didn't hurt that Alexis had been the valedictorian of her senior class. Marlow Prep was a self-contained school for grades Pre-K through 12th. Ari currently attended kindergarten and Jack was already assured of a place in pre-K when the time came.

"Do I look all right?"

"You look gorgeous," Kate hugged her tightly. "Come on, let's go downstairs so that you can have breakfast and talk to daddy."

"I talk to daddy, too," Jack announced, walking into the room in his Thomas the Tank pajamas.

"You can talk to daddy tonight. While Sissy's eating her breakfast, you need to get dressed so that you can go to Helen's."

"Come on, mommy," Jack whined, looking and acting exactly like his father which made Kate laugh.

"You can talk to him tonight, son. Come on, let's go," She hauled him into her arms and made the trek downstairs with Ari behind her. "Your cereal is on the breakfast bar, Ari. Can you pour your own milk?"

"I'll be careful," Ari climbed up onto the barstool and carefully lifted the carton of milk, splashing some into her cereal bowl.

"Good job," Kate praised her as she sat down on the sofa and began to get Jack dressed to go downstairs to the sitter.

"Daddy lets me fix his coffee sometimes," Ari said between spoonfuls of cereal. "Why don't you let me fix your coffee?"

"Because you're little and I don't want you to get burned."

"Mom," Ari rolled her eyes in a perfect imitation of her mother, "I'm _always _careful."

"Good morning, Katherine, babies," Martha's voice was bright and cheery as she made her way downstairs.

"Good morning, Martha," Kate smiled, tugging Jack's shirt over his head.

"Gram!" Jack called out, with a huge grin on his face.

"Good morning, Martha," Ari imitated her mother.

"Ariel Johanna," Kate's voice was calm, but had a definite warning edge to it.

"Someone's in a good mood this morning," Martha slipped an arm around her granddaughter's shoulder and squeezed her.

"Martha, I'm going to take Jack downstairs to Helen's real quick. Ari, hurry and finish your breakfast if you want to talk to daddy before you leave to go to school," Kate took Jack by the hand and left the loft, leaving Ari and Martha alone.

"So, that's why you're in such high spirits," Martha walked into the kitchen to fix her coffee.

"Daddy always tells me to have a good day on my first day of school."

"Ariel, your daddy is going to be home very soon," Martha assured her. "He's getting better every single day."

"I'm glad, because I know mommy misses him a lot."

"We all do," Martha kissed her on the forehead.

"Ari, are you finished with your cereal?" Kate walked back into the apartment a few minutes later. "You can't talk to daddy if you aren't."

"I'm done!" Ari dropped her spoon into her empty bowl.

"Good girl," Kate took the bowl and put it in the sink before taking out her phone and looking Castle up.

***CCC***

"Five more reps, Rick," Terry, Castle's physical therapist said as his patient grunted under the strain of the heavy metal elliptical bar.

"Have you added more weight to this bar?"

"Not yet. It's still 30 pounds, the same that it was the last time you were in here. Don't tell me you're going to wuss out on me, are you, Rick?"

Castle glared at his therapist. Terry stood 6'4", weighed about 250 and looked like he could stand-in as a stunt double for Mr. Clean with his bald head and huge muscular arms. He was about to utter a retort when he heard his cell phone ringing. "Can you check to see who that is for me?"

"You brought your phone to P.T.? Seriously?" Terry reached down and picked up the phone from the bench at Castle's side. "Dude, is this your wife?" He showed Castle his phone and Kate's smiling face on the screen.

"Yeah," Castle smiled, dropping the bar. He hit the 'answer' button. "Hey, Kate."

"Hey, Castle. I'm going to put you on FaceTime. Someone wants to talk to you. Hold on."

"Hi, daddy," Ariel's smiling face appeared on the screen.

"Hey, baby girl," Castle's grin was huge at the sight of his daughter on the screen.

"Rick, you have five minutes," Terry told him.

"Who was that? Daddy, why are you all sweaty?" Ariel made a face.

"That's Terry. He's just being mean to me, that's all."

"Why is he being mean to you? Is he mean to you like Tyson?" Ariel's eyes clouded over.

"No, baby. No. Nothing like that. He makes me exercise a lot so that I can get better so that I can come home to be with you, mommy, and Jack. He's not a bad man, Ariel."

Terry frowned, listening to the conversation. "Rick, may I?" He held his hand out for the phone.

"Really? You're going to cut into my five minutes?"

"Just for a second." Castle reluctantly handed Terry his phone. "Hi. What's your name?" He asked Ariel.

"Ariel. I don't want to talk to you. My daddy says you're mean. A bad man hurt my daddy. I don't like mean people!"

"Terry, give me the phone," Castle wrenched the phone from his therapist. "Ariel, it's okay. Take some breaths. Are you getting ready to go to school?"

"That's why mommy said I could talk to you. You always tell me to have a good day on the first day of school."

"You're going to have a wonderful day. You're going to be with your friends again. Do you think that you can draw me something pretty to hang in my room?"

"I'll make you a rainbow picture!" Ariel's face instantly brightened at the thought.

"Rainbows sounds great, Ariel."

"Ari, we have to go or we're going to be late. Tell daddy goodbye, so that I can talk to him real fast."

"I have to go, daddy. Daddy, how many days will there be until you come home?"

"I don't know. Mommy and I are having a meeting with the doctor in three more days. I should know when I'll come home then. I'll talk to you tonight before bed, okay?"

"Okay. I love you, daddy. Don't let that man be too mean to you."

"I won't," he smiled. "I love you, too. Let me talk to mommy."

"Hey, Castle," Kate's smiling face came on the screen. "I'll see you this afternoon. I have to get Ari to school, and talk to them. I love you."

"I love you, too. Kate, she's going to have a great day."

"I know. Tell your P.T. guy not to push you too hard."

"I'll talk to you this afternoon," he ended the call.

"So, how did an old geezer like you rate a hottie like that for a wife?" Terry teased when Castle put his phone aside.

"Pure charm," Castle grinned.

"Pure bullshit is more likely."

"Kate would be the first to agree with you."

"So, how long have the two of you been married?"

"Seven years in May. Kate's the most frustrating, challenging, maddening woman I've ever met in my life."

"Yet, you're crazy about her."

"Yeah, I am."

"Rick, I didn't mean to upset your little girl. She looks like a sweet kid."

"Ariel was with me in the car that night. She's still having a rough time dealing with it."

"I'm sorry to hear that. So, does Kate have any sisters?"

"Sorry, dude. She's an only child."

"So, what does she do? Does she stay at home spending the royalties from your books?"

"Not even close. She's a homicide detective."

"No way!"

"She's my inspiration for my Nikki Heat series. That's how we met. Someone was murdering people using my books for inspiration. I helped with the case and got the idea for a new character. The rest, as they say, is history."

"You married your muse," Terry smiled.

"And she still inspires me every day. I have a grown daughter, but Kate and I have two kids together. Ariel and a son named Jack who will be two years old on Saturday."

"Kids keep you on your toes. Speaking of which, you need to get back to work. You're not my only patient, you know."

***CCC***

"Ariel, welcome back," Miss Kathy, Ariel's Kindergarten teacher, welcomed her student back with a warm hug. "Why don't you say bye to your mommy and join the others in the reading circle?" 

Ari turned to Kate, her unique blue-green eyes huge with fear and worry. "Ari, I promise that I will be right outside when you come out of school," Kate smoothed Ari's braids over her shoulders. "Miss Kathy and Miss Beverly will make sure that you stay safe. Remember that you promised daddy a rainbow picture."

"I know," Ari finally smiled before throwing her arms around Kate's neck, hugging her hard. "I'm going to miss you, mommy."

"I'll miss you, too, but school will be out before you know it. Have a good day. Have fun. I love you," Kate unlatched Ari's arms from around her neck.

"I love you, too," Ari finally turned and went to the small circle in the far corner of the room.

"Mrs. Andrews, Mr. Kennedy, and Dr. Jimenez are waiting for us in the conference room," Miss Kathy motioned for Kate to follow her.

"You called in the school psychologist?" Kate was surprised.

"Mrs. Castle, we all saw the news footage and we read the reports. We want to support you and your family in any way that we can. But our primary focus is making sure that Ariel's well being is seen to."

Kate followed Miss Kathy into a conference room where Mr. Kennedy the headmaster of Marlowe Prep, Mrs. Andrews, the principal of the elementary school, and Dr. Jimenez, the school psychologist were present. "Mrs. Castle, please have a seat," Mr. Kennedy instructed her. "We were all distressed to hear about Ariel's and your husband's tragic accident. Tell us how Ariel has been since the accident."

"She has good days and she has bad days. When she has bad days, they are very bad," Kate warned them. "My stepdaughter, son-in-law, and my mother-in-law are still in the process of discovering what sets her off. I have been warned by another psychologist that we might start having behavioral problems with her once her father comes home from the hospital."

"What are some of the things that we can avoid in the classroom?" Miss Kathy took out her notepad to take notes.

"Sudden loud noises. I don't know how she's going to react to the school bell ringing. I've also noticed in the last couple of weeks that she gets edgy when too many people start talking around her at once. I think this is because of all of the people that were there after the accident. Before . . . before she was taken."

"What do I do to help Ariel when she becomes upset?"

"Urge her to take deep breaths. It's also best to take her away from the group to try to calm her down. Ari's also concerned about her leg. She has healing wounds on her leg. They're not very pretty to look at. She's going to be wearing pants or tights in the winter. But she's still self-conscious about it."

"Mrs. Castle, would you like for me to start talking to Ariel?" Dr. Jimenez asked.

"No," Kate said, more sharply than she intended. "I'm sorry. Ari won't talk about the events of that night."

"I still think that we should schedule an appointment when your husband is released from the hospital. I've worked with traumatized children before, Mrs. Castle. I worked with children following both World Trade Center bombings."

"I'll contact you when Mr. Castle is released. I might need your help, anyway. The FBI wants to question her. They have their own person, but I don't know how much experience he has in dealing with children."

"I'll be happy to assist you with that."

"Should we contact you or Mr. Castle if there are any problems with Ariel?" Mrs. Andrews asked.

"Only if Miss Kathy or Miss Beverly can't control her if she does have an outburst. If she's able to resume her normal routine, Ari should be fine. Please don't ask her any questions about that night or the bad man who hurt her daddy."

"We'll try to schedule a meeting with the parents of Ariel's classmates—"

"Please don't," Kate held up her hand. "Children overhear their parents and they can often be cruel. I don't want Ari being treated differently because of the accident. She's fine and I just want her to be treated like you'd treat the other children in her class."

"If we have any questions or concerns, we will contact you immediately," Mr. Kennedy closed Ariel's file folder, indicating that the meeting was over.

***CCC***

"Sir?" Capt. Gates looked toward her doorway, surprised to find Det. Javier Esposito standing there. "Can I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"What's on your mind, Detective?" Gates asked after Espo had come in and closed the door behind him.

"Sir, we're concerned about Beckett. She has to spread herself pretty thin between Castle, and the kids. And now the FBI is turning up the heat about wanting to question Ariel."

"Where have you heard this, Det. Esposito? Because I haven't spoken to anyone from the FBI regarding Ariel Castle," Gates slowly removed her glasses.

"I heard from a reliable source that Agent Shaw has talked to Beckett. Apparently, her bosses are anxious to put this whole thing to bed."

"Well, I can assure you that until they get the okay from me, they're not getting anywhere near Beckett's daughter. They can call the president for all that I care."

"Captain, Beckett's exhausted. She shouldn't even be here."

"And you're a physician now, Det. Esposito?"

"No, sir. I'm just a friend who's concerned about another friend."

"And I'm noting your concern. Now, if there's nothing else, I'm sure that you have work to do."

Gates couldn't hold back the small smile that flitted across her face after Esposito left the office. After all of these years, she still found their loyalty to one another heartwarming. While she would never replace her predecessor, Roy Montgomery, she now felt much closer to her team than she had upon first arriving so long ago.

As a wife, a mother, and now a grandmother, she'd noticed the fatigue that was constantly a part of Beckett's features. Kate had already asked for three weeks of leave starting that weekend, but Gates had decided to start her on her leave a little early. Esposito was right; Beckett needed the rest. Especially since Castle would be coming home from the hospital soon.

But she wasn't aware that the FBI was looking to talk to Ariel Castle. This disturbed her a great deal. She picked up the phone and dialed the number for the New York field office. "Agent McMurphy please," she said when the phone was answered. "Tell him it's Capt. Victoria Gates, 12th Precinct Homicide."

"Capt. Gates?"

"Agent McMurphy, it's come to my attention that you plan on questioning Ariel Castle. Is this true?"

"Yes, we would like to question the minor. There are gaps in Mr. Castle's story and they can only be filled by the child—"

"Her name is Ariel," Gates snapped in irritation. "You do realize that Ariel Castle was severely traumatized by Mr. Tyson and Ms. Neiman?"

"We will have our psychologist in the room when we interview her. Agent Shaw has also requested that we wait until Mr. Castle's release from the hospital. We're hoping that the child . . . excuse me, Ariel . . . will be more willing to talk to us if a parent is in the room with her."

"Agent McMurphy, she's five years old. While it may not be illegal for you to question her without a parent, don't you think it's a little skeezy? Don't force me to place a call to the DoJ and turn you in on an ethics violation. We will call you next week with a date and a time for the interview. In the meantime, I want you to stay away from Det. Beckett and her family. This includes Special Agent Shaw. I don't appreciate her bullying tactics."

Gates had no sooner ended her call to the FBI when she saw Det. Beckett stroll by her office window on her way to her desk. She got up and walked to her door, watching the detective place her purse in a drawer before sitting down. "So, did you get Ariel off to school all right?" Ryan asked.

"Yes. Although she insisted on talking to her daddy first. Castle was in the middle of P.T. and made a comment about his therapist being mean to him. He had to talk his way out of a meltdown in record time."

"But he was able to steer her away?" Ryan looked at Beckett, who nodded. "Well, that's good, isn't it?"

"This time. Ari is like watching a roller coaster. Some days we can avoid the meltdowns, other times it's like re-living the Terrible Two's all over again."

"Det. Beckett, may I have a word?" Gates called from her office.

"Yes, sir," Kate glanced over at the boys, who simply shrugged. She walked into Gates office and closed the door. "Is there something wrong, sir?"

"I just got off of the phone with Very Special Agent McMurphy of the FBI. He has agreed that they will interview Ariel when we tell them its okay. So, you will not be getting any more threatening visits from Agent Shaw."

"Sir, Jordan wasn't threatening me. Her bosses were putting the pressure on her. I understand what that's like."

"I know that you're taking leave starting this weekend, but I think that you should take it effective immediately," Gates pushed a form toward her.

"Sir, I can wait a few more days."

"Beckett . . . Kate, you're exhausted. You're putting in a full-day here, you're going to the hospital to spend time with Mr. Castle, and then you're going home to spend some time with Ariel and Jack. It's not going to get easier when Mr. Castle comes home. In fact, it's probably going to get more difficult. Men make the worse patients. He's going to turn into a third child."

"He already does that, on occasion," Kate smiled. "Sir—"

"Det. Beckett, this is an order. Take a few days off for yourself before Mr. Castle comes home. Take long bubble baths, read a good book, get your hair and nails done. You have to keep in mind that if you don't take care of yourself, then you're not going to be able to take care of your family."

"You're right," Kate took a pen from the captain and scrawled her name at the bottom. "Tell the boys to call me if they need fresh eyes for anything."

"Tell them yourself. Let me know when you want the feds to talk to Ariel."

"Yes, sir." Kate left the office, stopping by Esposito's desk. "Did you talk to Gates about me?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Its okay, Javi. I'm not upset. I'm starting my leave effective right now. You guys are on your own."

"Kate, call us when Castle comes home."

"I will," she smiled. "I'll make a huge welcome home dinner for everybody. You're both still coming to the party Saturday, right?"

"Are you kidding?" Ryan grinned. "My kids are super excited about it. Jack's going to love their gift."

"It's something noisy, isn't it, Kevin?" Kate grimaced.

"Could be," Kevin gave her a cheesy grin.

"I'll see you guys on Saturday."

"Bro, what did you get Mini-Castle?" Espo asked after they watched Kate get on the elevator.

"A Bat Mobile. He can drive it. It has lights and sounds. He's going to love it."

"Yeah, he and Big Castle are probably going to fight over it."

Ryan simply chuckled as he went back to the files on his desk.

***CCC***

Castle was propped up against the raised back of his bed, his broken leg propped on several pillows and his laptop balanced precariously on his good leg. At first his broken wrist had hindered his ability to write, but he'd finally managed a satisfactory workaround. While he wasn't doing any writing as of yet, he still had correspondence that he had to answer.

He was answering email when someone knocked on his open doorway. He was surprised to find Gina standing there. He closed the lid on his laptop, placing it on his tray table and sliding it to one side. "Rick, is it all right if I come in?"

"Sure. I know that I owe Black Pawn several chapters, but as you can see—"

"Rick, I'm not here as your publisher right now. I'm not even here as your ex-wife. I'm here as a friend who's concerned about what you and your family are going through. Although I would like to discuss a possible future project with you."

Castle fought to contain his irritation. Leave it to Gina to always have an ulterior motive. It had been that way when he was married to her and it looked like it was going to continue being that way now. However, in his bored state of mind, he'd welcome anybody who wanted to visit, including his bloodsucking ex-wife. "I want to thank you for the flowers."

"You're welcome. We received a lovely thank you card from Kate. So, how are you feeling?" She made a face at his hip to toe bright blue cast and smiled at the way that he was dressed. "I see that you haven't lost your flair for fashion."

Castle grinned as he took in what he was wearing, a pair of green jogging shorts and a 'Marvin the Martian' t-shirt. "When they changed my cast, they asked me what color I wanted. Kate liked the blue. She says it matches my eyes."

"Do you know when you're being released?"

"Well, we have a meeting with my doctor Thursday morning. I'm thinking it'll be sometime early next week."

"And how is Ariel?"

"Ariel's fine as long as we keep her mind off of what happened. Unfortunately, I've learned that the feds want to talk to her and to me."

"I'm so sorry. That has to be so devastating for you and for Kate."

"Yeah, it is. Gina, why are you really here?"

"Rick, Paula and I were talking. I realize that it's probably way too soon, but maybe you could write an account—"

"No!"

"Rick—"

"Are you crazy? You're damn right that it's too soon! Not only is it too soon, but I'm not going to exploit my family's horror for the all-mighty dollar."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. But true crime does sell, Rick. I know that there would be a huge audience for your story."

"You don't get it, do you? This isn't just _my _story. The answer is no and that's the end of it."

"I'm sorry if I've upset you," she stood up. "Call me when you get back home."

It took Castle a long time to get over his agitation following his ex-wife's departure. Writing about Nikki Heat was one thing. That was fiction and Kate understood it. There was no way in hell that he'd write about their ordeal at the hands of Jerry Tyson and Kelly Nieman. He'd never exploit his family's life in that way. Why didn't Gina understand that this wasn't just about him?

He had finally calmed down completely when Kate arrived for her afternoon visit. She stepped up to the bed, kissing him warmly and placing a sheet of manila drawing paper in his hands. He smiled when he opened it. The picture was of a pair of swings and a huge rainbow over the whole top of the page. Ariel had even scrawled her name in large, uneven letters at the bottom of the page. "She told me that these are our swings," Kate smiled.

"This is perfect," his voice was choked up with emotion.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just been one of those kinds of days. Can we get out of here for a little while?"

"Do you want to go get something from the vending machines and sit in the sun room?" Kate helped him sit on the side of the bed and handed him his crutches.

"That sounds great," he slowly hauled himself to his feet and began swinging himself out of the room, with Kate at his side.

When they arrived in the solarium, Kate helped Castle get settled before going over to the vending machines, buying them sodas and candy. "What happened, Castle?"

"I just want to come home, Kate."

"Hey, you're going to be home in a few days," she reached for his hand.

"I'm going to miss Jack's birthday."

"I know and I'm sorry. What else is going on?"

"Gina came by earlier."

"Castle, you're on pain medication. She can't seriously expect you to turn in chapters, can she? I thought she was cutting you some slack."

"No, it isn't about the latest Nikki Heat book. Kate, she wants me to think about writing about our ordeal with Tyson."

"Please tell me you're not considering this," she stared at him.

"No," he was quick to shake his head. "I told her that I wouldn't do that to you; to our family. We've been through enough. We need to heal."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Castle," Dr. Walker entered the room, walking over to the vending machines.

"Oh, look. It's the guy who doesn't like kids," Castle quipped, glaring in his doctor's direction.

"I'll have you know, Mr. Castle, that I happen to love kids. I have eight of my own, including two sets of twins. I just don't feel that they belong in a hospital, unless they're a patient. You're going to be going home soon. You'll be seeing both of your kids then."

With that, the doctor turned and left the room. "Wow, eight kids," Kate let out a low whistle. "Ari and Jack are enough to wear me out. Could you imagine chasing after eight kids?"

"I just want to chase after our two again."

Kate hated it when Rick was sad. She knew that a lot of it was the side effects of the different medications that he was on. Dr. Walker had already warned her that his moods would swing wildly from one extreme to the next. But she also knew how badly he was missing the kids. Except for videos, he hadn't seen Jack since the day of the accident and he hadn't seen Ari since the one day she'd been allowed to bring her to the hospital. "You want to know what I miss?" She moved closer, her breath hot in his ear. "Making love with you."

"I miss that, too," he finally smiled. "We may have to invent some new positions."

"Rick?" Terry, Rick's P.T. therapist walked into the sun room. "I thought that I saw you with your hot young wife."

"Excuse me?" Kate's head whipped between Castle and the therapist.

"Tell me something," Terry sat down as Kate gave Castle an irritated look, one that he knew all too well. "Are you really happy with him? I mean, look at him. He's an old man. I, on the other hand, am a young stud."

"Kate, this is Terry. He's my physical therapist," Castle said, by way of introduction.

"I have news for you, Terry," Kate got close to the therapist's ear. "I'd rather have an 'old man' like Rick than an egotistical 'young stud' like you any day."

"All righty then," Terry rose to his feet. "I guess that I'll be seeing you in the morning then, Rick. It was nice meeting you, Kate."

"Your therapist is an asshole, Castle."

"He saw your picture come up when you called me this morning. He started ragging me about me being an old geezer with a hot, young wife."

"You're not an old geezer," she kissed him, brushing her fingers over his jaw. "You're my everything."

"What're you and the kids doing tonight?"

"Well, we're having dinner with my dad and Aunt Teresa."

"Thank her for all of the stuff she's been posting on Facebook featuring the kids."

"I will. I'll be able to come up here in the morning after I take Ari to school. Capt. Gates started my leave early."

"Do you think that you can bring me a coffee and a banana nut muffin?" He looked at her with puppy dog eyes, which never ceased to make her think of how the kids looked at her when they wanted something. "The coffee here tastes worse than the coffee in the precinct before I gave you the awesome coffee maker. I can't believe that I just used the word 'coffee' three times in one sentence. Wow, they should really consider cutting my meds."

"I'll bring you a coffee and a muffin. Come on, let's go back to your room and cuddle," she watched him get to his feet and walked by his side during the walk down the hall.

Once they were back in his room, he placed his crutches by his bedside and climbed into bed, lying back so that Kate could lay on the bed at his side, feeling his arm come around her, holding her to his chest, stroking his fingers down her back. "Did Ariel have a good first day back at school?"

"I think it was okay. Miss Kathy reported that she didn't like the school bell, but I warned them about that. Dr. Jimenez has offered to assist us when she has to talk to the FBI. However, I asked them not to talk to the other parents. I don't want Ari treated like she's a freak. Gates told the FBI that we'll let them know when they can talk to Ari, not the other way around."

"Have I told you lately how much I like Capt. Gates?"

"I think that she finally likes you, too," she smiled against his chest.

"Well, it took her long enough."

"Speaking of people who like you, Dr. Burke has promised to get back to me by the end of the week with the name of a therapist for you."

"Great. Thank you. Kate, can you ring my nurse? My leg is really hurting right now."

After he took a pain pill, he went to sleep. Kate sat at his bedside holding his hand, stroking his fingers as she watched his features gradually relax as the pain dissipated. She hadn't told Castle, but the meeting on Thursday wasn't only with Dr. Walker, but also with an orthopedic doctor. She wasn't sure she was ready to hear the possibility of more bad news. And she knew that if she wasn't, Castle definitely wasn't going to want to hear anything.

**A/N #3: I'm going to have to step into high gear if I want this story finished by the deadline. I might start posting two chapters a week.**

**A/N #4: The name of the FBI agent that Capt. Gates talked to was taken from the character that Dana Delaney played on 'China Beach.' If none of you have never seen this awesome show that aired in the late 80's/early 90's, check it out. It's finally on DVD. I will be watching S-1 by the end of the week.**

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	8. Coming Home

**DISCLAIMERS: I wish that I owned everything that I ever wanted. But, alas, I'm broke.**

**SUMMARY: Castle returns home and tries to adjust to life at home once again.**

**A/N #1: I want to once again thank all of my wonderful reviewers who have told me what they like and what they don't like about this story.**

**A/N #2: For those of you who are wondering if Gina gave Castle the idea for 'The Eye of the Beast,' the answer is no. It's going to be several chapters before I reveal where that idea comes from.**

**A/N #3: There is going to be a time jump of a few days for this chapter.**

Chapter 8: Coming Home

_January 11_

"Ari, come on, we're going to be late," Kate rushed her daughter through their early morning ritual.

Why was it that today of all days Ari couldn't find anything, she wanted to take her time eating breakfast, and she insisted on trampling all over Kate's last nerve? Kate hadn't wanted to tell the kids that their father was coming home today. She knew that if she did, she would never get either of them out of the loft.

A few times a year Ari would decide on last second wardrobe changes. Today happened to be one of those days. "I don't want to wear these shoes," she announced, hopping off of her chair. "I want to wear my boots."

"Ariel, we don't have time for you to change into your boots. You can wear your boots tomorrow. Let's go," Kate impatiently held Ari's coat out for her to slip her arms in.

"These shoes look stupid!" Ari stubbornly held her ground. "I want to wear my boots!"

"Ariel Johanna Castle, you have until the count of three to put your coat on or you won't be watching 'Dora the Explorer' when you get home from karate. One . . . two—"

"All right, all right," Ari stuck her arms into the coat sleeves as Kate buttoned her up, helping her with her gloves, scarf and knitted hat. "Daddy would let me wear my boots."

"Well, you can take that up with your daddy when he comes home."

By the time she finally got to the hospital, her nerves were on edge. All she wanted was to get Castle back home and get him readjusted. It had been a long three weeks. The meeting with the doctor the previous Thursday had proven to be stressful for him.

_Four day earlier_

_When Kate and Castle entered the conference room, Dr. Walker, Terry, Castle's physical therapist, and a third doctor were already sitting at the table. "Mr. Castle, Mrs. Castle, please have a seat," Dr. Walker instructed them. "Rick, first of all let me tell you that your recovery has been nothing short of miraculous. You've worked hard to get to this point in your recovery."_

"_You make me sound like a recovering drug addict or an alcoholic," Castle quipped._

"_I apologize for that. I'd like to introduce you to Dr. Carroll. He's an orthopedic surgeon that I've brought in to consult," Dr. Walker got up and placed two x-rays on the screen and turned it on. "As you can see, Mr. Castle, you suffered a compound fracture of your right leg caused when the steering column came down. I inserted rods and pins into your femur to stabilize it. These are permanent, Mr. Castle."_

"_So, where do you come in?" Kate asked Dr. Carroll._

"_I'm concerned about your femur," Dr. Carroll got up and walked over to the x-rays. "The bone came through your upper thigh, causing a significant tear. As Dr. Walker stated, the leg was surgically repaired, but you could suffer from some mobility issues. I want you to continue twice a week physical therapy once the cast comes off of your leg in a few weeks. I also want you to schedule an appointment with my office as soon as the cast comes off. And I mean immediately, Mr. Castle," he gave Castle a pointed look._

"_He'll make the appointment," Kate squeezed Castle's hand._

"_While the bruising to your heart and lungs are better, you're not 100 percent healed. It could take six months to a year before the bruising clears up."_

"_I know I'm not my old self. I just want to go home," Castle stated._

"_How does Monday, January 11__th__ sound?" Dr. Walker smiled._

"_That sounds like the best news I've heard in ages," Castle smiled and clapped his hands together._

"We're sorry to see you go, Mr. Castle," one of the orderlies called out as Kate wheeled Castle toward the elevator.

"I'm not!" He called back as Kate pushed him into the elevator.

It was bitterly cold outside so Kate stopped the wheelchair by the doors. "Rick, I'm going to have the car brought around. I want you to wait here and then I'll come back to get you. Okay?"

"Okay," he gave her a wide smile as she bent down and kissed him.

"I'll be right back."

Only in Manhattan did you get valet service at the hospital. But on a cold, blustery day like today, Kate was thankful for it. She handed her ticket to the valet and waited at the curb, pulling her coat tightly around her as she waited for the SUV to be brought around. Finally the valet brought the SUV around and she went inside to bring Castle out. She smiled as he seemed as excited as a schoolboy. "Kate! You're not going to believe this, but I think that I just saw Dr. Oz!"

"Maybe you did. I think he has surgical privileges at this hospital. Come on, let's get you home. The only celebrity that I care about right now is you."

With the help of the valet and an orderly, they managed to get Castle into the front passenger seat and buckled in. Castle reclined the seat back to make himself as comfortable as possible while Kate put Castle's things into the back seat and got behind the wheel, buckling her own seat belt and putting the car into gear as she headed for SoHo and home.

Walking into the loft 25 minutes later, they were greeted exuberantly by Martha and Alexis. "Oh Richard, welcome home!" Martha gently hugged her son, kissing him on the cheek.

"Hi, dad," Alexis embraced her father a bit harder, pulling back when she felt him tense up. "How does it feel to be home?"

"I don't know, I just got here," he jibed, hobbling over to his recliner and easing into it before raising the footrest.

"I'll get you some pillows to put under your foot," Kate quickly left the room.

"Do you need anything, darling?" Martha asked.

"No, I think I'm okay," he smiled, pulling his foot up when Kate re-entered the living room with a couple of pillows. "Kate, go get Jack."

"Castle, why don't you relax for a—"

"Go and get my son," he repeated, a bit more forcefully. "Please, Kate?" His tone was gentler this time. "I've missed him."

"Okay," she nodded. "I'll be right back."

Castle saw the small Bat mobile in a corner by the sofa. "That was the Ryan's gift to Jack for his birthday," Alexis followed her father's eyes. "He's about to drive Gram and Kate crazy with it. He's made all of us realize why they don't give driver's licenses to young children."

"I just hope that it doesn't disturb you too much, Richard. After all, it's quite loud and the fighting over it between Jack and Ariel has been awful."

Castle was about to reply when the door opened and Jack entered the loft ahead of his mother. He started toward his new birthday gift until he saw the man sitting in the recliner. He stood stock still in the middle of the room, his blue eyes huge in his face before uttering one single word that caused Castle's eyes to flood with tears. "Daddy!" Jack raced over and leaped into the recliner as Castle tried to brace himself for the impact of his son's solid little body colliding with his still healing thoracotomy scar.

"Jack, be careful," Kate cautioned him. "Daddy's still very sore."

"I'm okay," Castle clasped his arms around Jack and held him as tightly as he could. "Believe me, I'm good."

Holding his son for the first time in 23 days was worth all of the pain he was now experiencing. Jack was a rough and tumble boy who didn't like cuddling with anybody, but right now he was holding onto his daddy like he was a lifeline, his small hands clutching onto Castle's t-shirt. "Play with me, daddy," Jack settled between Castle's side and the side of the recliner.

"I can't play right now, buddy. I'm sorry."

"Hold on a minute," Kate opened Jack's backpack and took out a few of his Superhero action figures. "You and daddy can play with these. But Jack, you can just play for a little while. Daddy needs to rest and it's going to be naptime soon."

Kate sat on the end of the sofa, watching Castle and Jack play with the action figures, just like before the accident, each making silly sound effects, and giggling together. But after an hour she could see that Castle was in a lot of pain. Dr. Walker had already told him not to ignore the pain, but to take his medication when he needed it. He finally looked at Kate, motioning for her to take the baby. "Jack, daddy needs to take his medicine. Why don't you go up to your room and play with Alexis?" Kate nodded for Alexis to help her.

"No!" Jack whined, kicking his legs when Alexis lifted him from the chair.

"Jack, daddy's tired and he has bad boo-boo's. Let him rest and then he'll play with you. Let's go upstairs and play with your new train," Alexis suggested as Jack continued to howl in protest.

"No!"

"Take him," Kate told Alexis. "Fighting with him is just going to make it worse."

"I taught you well, grasshopper," Castle joked as Alexis left for upstairs with a still crying, screaming Jack. "I remember when you hated listening to either of them scream. Remember when I told you that if you didn't stop giving in to Ariel, she was going to be impossible to live with?"

"It's just hard to listen to them when they're throwing such a fit. Let me get you some water and your pain pills."

"Kate, I can go and get Ariel from school if you want to stay here with Richard," Martha volunteered.

"Thank you, Martha, but she has karate this afternoon and I don't want to disrupt her routine. Besides, she had a meltdown when I had Alexis pick her up last week."

"So, she's gone back to ballet and karate?" Castle's face lit up.

"Karate, yes. Ballet, no," Kate brought a bottle of water and two pills over to her husband. "She insists on the karate. She told my father that no bad man is ever going to hurt her or her daddy ever again. She told him that she'll just karate chop them. As for ballet, she refuses to even consider it. She refuses to even go in the vicinity of Fifth Avenue."

Castle didn't have a response. He silently took the pills and the water from Kate, quickly downing the two tablets. "It's quiet."

"When I got out of the hospital after I was shot, the quiet was the hardest thing to get used to. But the quiet won't last long," she smiled. "When Ari gets home, the noise level will resemble anarchy. Kevin and Jenny should've bought them both cars."

"Alexis said that they fight over it."

"I think they give road rage a whole new meaning. I've even threatened to have my father take the car to his house. Do you want to nap in your chair or do you want to try to move to our bed?" She brushed her hand over that stubborn lock of hair that always fell over his forehead. His stitches and staples had all been removed from his head and his hair was growing back, making his head resemble a weird patchwork design.

"No, I'll stay here," he gave her a sleepy smile, the pills already doing their work. "I'm so happy to be home, Kate."

"I'm happy to have you home, Castle. Get some sleep," she stood up and softly kissed his forehead.

***CCC***

Ari had been enrolled in karate for just over a year. At first it had been an activity designed to let her be around other kids her own age and burn off excess energy. But since the accident and her return to karate, Kate had seen the change in her daughter. So had her sensei. Kate sat with other parents watching the class of five and six-year-olds practice their moves. She smiled at how cute Ari looked in her white uniform with the yellow obi. "Which one is your kid?" The woman sitting next to her asked.

"The one in the middle with the long, light brown hair," Kate pointed Ari out.

"Oh, the serious one."

"Excuse me?"

"She's so cute, but you can tell that she's dead serious. Let me just say that I wouldn't want to tangle with her."

Kate watched as the children went through their paces with their sensei. She could see the fierce determination in her small daughter's eyes. 'Oh, my god,' she thought to herself. 'She's turning into me.' "Has she always been so . . . intense?" Kate asked out loud. "My husband or my stepdaughter is usually the ones to bring her to her lessons."

"I'm not sure. I don't think so."

'Great,' Kate thought, 'my daughter is going to turn into a karate-chopping beast, roaming the streets of New York seeking vengeance. Thank you, Jerry Tyson.'

After the hour-long lesson was over, Kate went to the back to help Ari change into her clothes before going home. "Can we go and get ice cream?"

"I was thinking that we can order pizza when we get home. How does that sound?"

"Not as good as ice cream," Ari kicked at the ground.

"Oh, I think you're going to be happy with pizza," Kate helped Ari into her coat.

"Mom, can you make Jack let me drive the Bat mobile?"

"Ari, that's your brother's car." Under her breath, she added, "I'm going to shoot your Uncle Kevin."

Back at the loft, Jack was zooming around the living room while Castle felt like he was about to lose his mind. During his three weeks in the hospital, he'd forgotten what a bundle of energy his small son could be. "Jack, daddy has a headache. Why don't you get your Superheroes and play quietly on the floor until mommy gets home with Sissy?"

"I'm sorry, dad," Alexis instantly apologized. "I can take him up to his room."

"No, it's okay. I just need for him to be quiet for just a little while."

"Jack, go play on your mat, okay?" Alexis knelt in front of him, breathing a huge sigh of relief when Jack obediently walked over to the mat in one corner of the room and began to play.

"Thank you," Castle wearily closed his eyes.

"Dad, do you need something for pain?"

"No, I can't take anything else until I get ready to go to sleep. Can you bring me some water?"

"Sure," she smiled and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge.

Castle had just opened the water and took a long drink when he heard Kate's key in the door. Kate walked in, leading Ari, who stopped short and stared at the recliner like she was seeing a ghost. She glanced up at her mother, at her father, and then back between the two of them once again. "Ariel?" Castle's voice was rough with emotion.

"You didn't tell me that my daddy was coming home today."

"We wanted to surprise you," Kate helped Ari with her coat.

Castle watched Ariel weighing things in her head. Much like Kate, most of Ariel's emotions were written all over her face, especially her eyes. "Ariel?" He repeated her name, willing her to come closer.

Ariel slowly approached Castle's recliner, taking in the bright blue of the cast on his leg. She stopped on the side of his chair by his uninjured leg. "Did you get my rainbow picture?" She asked.

"Yes, I did," he smiled, blinking back tears at the sight of her. "Mommy brought me all of your pictures. Thank you."

"Are you going to be here forever?"

"I'm home, baby. I'm not going anywhere," he reached out and touched her cheek, startling when she suddenly threw her arms around his neck and burst into huge, wracking sobs. "Ariel, it's okay. Come here," he motioned for Kate to lift her into the chair.

Before Kate could reach her, Martha walked over and lifted the little girl onto the recliner. Castle wrapped his arms around her, hugging her much as he had Jack that morning. He could feel Ariel's tears wetting his face, his own tears mixing with hers. "I missed you, daddy," she whispered into his neck. "It was awful without you here. Mommy wouldn't let me wear my boots to school."

"Well, I'll have to talk to mommy about that," he looked at Kate, who shook her head and rolled her eyes. "How was karate?"

"It was great," she pulled back and smiled. "I kicked ass and took names."

"And now I'm also going to shoot Uncle Javi. Ariel Johanna, watch your language or you can go to the timeout chair."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I could sure eat some . . . pizza!" He shouted, tickling Ariel, who shrieked in delight.

"I'll call Mario's," Kate came over and removed Ari from her father's lap. "Ari, go play with your brother, please."

"Let's drive!" Jack screeched out as Castle visibly cringed.

"Guys, not now," Kate told them. "You can play with the car in a few days. We'll take it to the rec room. Daddy doesn't feel good and that car is very noisy."

After dinner, Kate gave the kids baths, but the excitement of having their father home made getting them to bed a difficult challenge. Jack finally got so sleepy that he couldn't keep his eyes opened, so Martha offered to take him up to bed. But Ariel had no intention of letting either parent out of her sight. "Ariel, you need to go to bed or you're not going to want to get up in the morning for school," Kate warned her in a gentle, but firm tone. "Kiss daddy goodnight and let's go up to bed. _Now_."

"Daddy, tell mommy to let me wear my boots to school in the morning," Ariel stage whispered as Castle bit back a grin.

"I'll take care of it," he whispered back. "I love you, baby girl."

"I love you, too," she kissed him goodnight before following her mother up the stairs.

Descending the stairs several minutes later, Kate could see the tiredness etched all over her husband's face. She remembered those first days home after her hospitalization. She remembered how just the simple act of breathing exhausted her. "Do you want to turn in?" She asked him.

"Kate, it's not even eight o'clock. I'd forgotten how noisy they can be."

"Hey, just be glad we're not living in Dr. Walker's house with eight of them," she teased. "Oh, Dr. Burke called me and suggested the name of a therapist. Her name is Dr. Cynthia Swann. He left her number. You can call her tomorrow."

"A woman?"

"Yes, Castle. There are women psychologists. Is that a problem?"

"No, I'm just surprised. How much longer before I can take something else for pain?"

"Another 15 or 20 minutes. Do you want to go ahead and take it now? A few minutes early isn't going to hurt anything. I used to take mine early all of the time. After, do you want to slip into your space age plastic boot and try to take a shower?"

"Not tonight. I can't hold my weight up and neither can you."

"Rick," she crouched by his chair, "your mom and I have taken care of everything for the bathroom. There's a chair in the shower for you to sit on. You don't have to depend on me. I know that's heavy on your mind right now."

"I just feel . . . I don't know," he ran his hand through his hair, making a face at the prickly feel of it.

"You don't feel like you belong here. You have to readjust, Castle. Give yourself some time."

Kate had never seen the depth of sadness that she was seeing in Castle's eyes at this moment. She laced her fingers in his, bringing his hand up and kissing his fingers one by one. "I'm really happy to be home, Kate. I don't want you to think that I'm not. I missed being here with you and the kids. Maybe once I'm off some of the meds I'll feel better. Maybe I'll feel more like myself."

"We're going to figure this out, Castle. Just like we always have. Would you like to watch the video of Jack's birthday party?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," he smiled as she got up and went to get her tablet.

Even though he'd had to miss his son's birthday, Kate had captured every second of it for him. He found himself smiling and even laughing at times while watching the video. "When he saw that Bat mobile, he didn't want to open anything else," Kate sat on the arm of the recliner next to him. "He was so excited."

"Alexis told me that it's a little noisy."

"That's why I either want my dad to take it to his place or we can put it in the SUV and take it out to the Hamptons. There's not room for him to drive it around the loft. I didn't have the heart to say anything to Kevin and Jenny."

"It wasn't their fault. If I was here, I probably would've bought it for him myself. Which is probably why Ryan got it. Kate, we need to address the elephant in the room."

"The FBI?"

"The FBI."

"Rick, you just got home. Why don't you wait a week or so before you and Ari talk to them?"

"How has she been?"

"Lately she's been better. But, you should've seen her in karate this evening, Castle. She looked so determined."

"I'll try to talk to her in a few days. What was she saying earlier about her boots?"

"She wanted to make a last minute wardrobe change this morning. When I told her that we didn't have time for her to change her shoes, she got mad and said that her daddy would let her wear her boots."

Castle was about to say something, but a huge yawn about split his face in two. "Let me take my pain pills and antibiotics."

An hour later, Kate helped Castle get settled into bed before going to take a quick shower. When she opened the bathroom door a short time later, she smiled at the sight of him half-asleep on his side of the bed. He opened his eyes when he felt her get into bed. "I have missed this so much," she moved closer to him, trying to be mindful of his leg. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Just this," his lips came down on hers in a slow, gentle kiss. "Now I'm almost perfect."

"Almost?"

"Well, I do have a toe to hip cast on my leg, Beckett."

"Only for another 21 days."

"Was it hideous looking?"

"Are you asking me if I've seen the pictures of your injuries?" She asked as he slowly nodded. "Yeah, it was pretty hideous, Castle. But, if I know anything about you, you'll probably ask Dr. Walker if you can have a copy to use for your Facebook or Twitter profile pic."

"Nah," he shook his head. "I don't want to gross out my followers."

"Get some sleep. I love you and I'm so damn glad that you're home."

"So am I. I love you, too," he kissed her one more time before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.

Kate closed her eyes and tried to go to sleep, but sleep just wouldn't come. Her mind went back in time to the days after her shooting and how hard it had been to adjust to a new normal. Castle had been there to bring her out of the darkness, back into the light. Now it was her turn to help him back into the light.

**A/N #4: I got the name of Dr. Cynthia Swann from the Spoilers for 7x01. I'm assuming that she's going to be Castle's shrink and if she isn't, well, she is now.**

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	9. Tensions Are Mounting

**DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything that you would recognize.**

**SUMMARY: Things begin to get tense for both Kate and Castle as he tries to convince his young daughter that it's time for them to talk to the authorities.**

**A/N #1: I hate myself for writing this, but I'm not a kid person for many reasons, most of them due to my family situation. Most of what Castle starts to feel in this chapter mirrors how I feel when I'm around children, especially unruly children. It might be the truest chapter I've ever written. After all, they say write what you know.**

**A/N #2: I want to thank CodeDriver for pointing out to me that Castle's injuries weren't consistent with what I've described. I have corrected Chapter 8 to reflect that. I want to thank all of my reviewers for the reviews, feedback, and suggestions.**

Chapter 9: Tensions are Mounting

Castle woke up, shaking the cobwebs from his head. This was the first morning in weeks when he'd actually slept soundly all night. No sounds of footsteps, various people being paged over the P.A. system, or nurses coming in to check to see if he needed anything. He was aching all over, especially his leg, which felt like someone was hitting him in the thigh with a sledgehammer. He winced as he carefully swung his legs over the side of the bed, hooked his crutches under his arms and hobbled into the bathroom as fast as he could.

After relieving himself, he washed his hands and brushed his teeth. While brushing his teeth, he took a good look at himself in the mirror. 'Well, you should see the other guy,' he made a face. He looked longingly toward the shower and decided that he needed to clean himself up.

He went back into the bedroom to retrieve the plastic boot that fitted over his cast to protect it from getting wet. That was when he heard Ariel arguing with Kate in the living room. "I want to see my daddy!"

"Ari, daddy's still asleep. You'll see him when you get home from school. Come on, you're going to be late."

"No! I want to see my daddy _now_!"

The sound of his daughter's voice went straight up his spinal cord, making everything hurt. He was beginning to wonder just when in the hell Kate had lost control of their children. "Ariel, what's going on?" He hobbled through his office and into the living room. "You know better than to talk to either mommy or me like that."

"I don't want to go to school, daddy," she ran over and threw her arms around Castle's waist as he winced from the pain.

"Ariel, you have to go to school."

"I know how to read," she pulled away and stared up at him. "I can do my math. I know all of my capitals. I know who the president is. I can stay home and take care of you."

"Baby, come over here," he moved to the sofa, patting it for her to sit beside him. "I love that you want to stay home and take care of me. But I have to go to therapy every day. Right now, that's my job. Your job is to go to school and learn everything that you can."

"But what if you're not home when I get home?"

"Baby girl, I will be right here when you get home from school. Now, apologize to your mother and get to school. Go on," he urged her when she remained seated.

"Come on, Ari," Kate was holding Ari's coat out for her. "Now, we're really going to be late."

"Kate, take it easy. She's not going to fail Kindergarten for being a few minutes late to school."

"Bye, daddy," Ariel waved as she left the loft with Kate.

"Bye, baby," he closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh the second the door closed.

"Richard, would you like some breakfast?" Martha asked, coming down the stairs.

"Once upon a time, mother, that little girl was nearly as well behaved as Alexis at that age."

"Richard, we're all stressed. Give things some time. Now, would you like some breakfast?" She asked once again.

"Yeah, but I'm going to take a shower first. Is Jack downstairs at Helen's?"

"Yes, Kate took him down there a little while ago so that she could take you to your physical therapy session."

"I'm going to take a shower," he repeated. "Hopefully I won't need any help."

"If you do, don't hesitate to call. You don't have anything that I haven't seen before," she called out cheerfully as Richard turned and rolled his eyes.

"That was just creepy on so many levels."

He walked back into the bedroom and grabbed the plastic boot before going into the bathroom. He stripped out of his shorts and t-shirt before slipping the boot over his cast and zipping it up, tightly sealing the cast inside. Gingerly hopping on his good foot, he opened the shower door and turned on the water, adjusting the temperature. He noticed the shower chair and some non-stick mats that Kate and his mother had placed in the shower for him. He managed to hop into the shower, grabbing the bar on the far wall for balance. Closing the door behind him, he grabbed his nylon bath pouf and poured a generous dollop of body wash into it. Easing himself onto the shower chair, he soaped his body, relishing the feeling of being clean and smelling like his old self. 'It's great to be home,' he smiled, letting the warm spray hit his face, wincing when it hit the still healing cuts on his head.

***CCC***

Kate walked back into the lobby of their building half an hour later, pulling out her phone while walking to the elevator. Esposito answered on the first ring. "Hola, girl. What's up?"

"Hey, can you take some time to spare with me maybe tomorrow? I'm going stir crazy here, Espo, and Castle's only been home for two days. I need to beat on something."

"And you're choosing me?"

"Javi—"

"Hey, I'll meet you in the gym at the precinct tomorrow morning at 10. How's that?"

"Perfect. I have to take Castle to P.T. anyway. Thanks, Javi."

"Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she ended the call and got on the elevator.

"What was that all about?" Ryan asked after Esposito got off of the phone.

"Beckett wants a sparring partner tomorrow."

"I guess she's trying to adjust to having Castle home again, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I'll be back in a little while," Espo got up and headed for the elevator.

Lanie was in the middle of a post-mortem when Espo stepped into the morgue. "What brings you down here, Javi?" She switched off the tape recorder that she was speaking into before turning to face him.

"Have you talked to Beckett since the birthday party?"

"I was going to call her yesterday to see how Castle's first day home went, but I decided to give them some time to themselves. Why? What's wrong?"

"I just got off of the phone with her and she sounded a little tense. In fact, she asked me to meet her in the gym in the morning to spar with her."

"I'm sure her life resembles a three-ring circus right now. After all, she has Castle to take care of, not to mention the kids. I'll try to call her later."

"Thanks."

***CCC***

When Kate entered the apartment, she smiled at the sight of Castle in his recliner dressed in a pair of over-sized sweats and a Columbia University sweatshirt. "Wow, you look nice," she walked over and kissed him. "You smell better, too. Have you taken your pills?"

"Antibiotics, yes. Pain killers, no. I want to wait until after P.T. Mother made breakfast. We can leave as soon as you're ready. Did Ariel get to class on time?"

"Yes, she did," Kate bit back a sigh as she poured herself a cup of coffee. "Castle, we might start having problems with her now that you're home."

"Kate, she's five years old," his voice was sharper than he intended. "Even Alexis wasn't perfect all of the time. She's fine."

"Castle, she's _not _fine," Kate came over and sat on the sofa, putting her coffee cup on the table. "Yes, she's been better, but that's only because everybody has carefully avoided any mention of that night in front of her. She sucks her thumb, and wets the bed on occasion."

"Again, she's _five_. What do you want me to do? Sit her down and force her to talk about that night? I don't even want to talk about that night, Kate! I'll be damned if I'm going to make Ariel talk about it!"

"Castle, you're not going to have a choice, either of you. I don't want to put either of you through it, but I'm not sure how much longer Gates can hold off McMurphy and his cronies. Castle, Ari might talk if you're in there with her. She won't talk to me. She's told bits and pieces to your mother and Alexis, but she won't tell me anything about that night."

"If I talk to them, I have to tell them that I sent Crandall home," he said through clenched teeth, referring to the security detail.

"Yes, you're going to have to tell them that. Rick, what happened _wasn't _your fault," she put her hand on his good knee.

"Let me try to talk to Ariel this evening. I'll tell her that it's okay to be afraid."

"We should get you to P.T."

Kate had no intention of hanging around while Castle had physical therapy. Personally she thought his therapist was a sexist pig. "I know that you hate Terry," Castle said as they made their way toward P.T. 45 minutes later.

"I don't hate him, Castle. I'm just not crazy about the comments that he made to me that day. I love you, and I wouldn't trade you for a thousand young 'studs' like Terry."

"Thanks," he bent down as their lips met. "I love you, too."

"Okay, you two, if you want PDA's, you're going to have to find a room. Although I'm not sure how successful you'll be in that department with that cast on your leg, Rick."

"Oh, that's okay," Kate walked up to the therapist, staring him in the eyes as he visibly seemed to shrink. "Castle's quite good with his hands and uh, other parts of his anatomy. Probably better than you are." 

"Terry, maybe we should get started," Castle spoke up before Terry could stage a comeback.

"I'll pick you up in an hour, babe," Kate told him, before turning and walking away.

"I don't think your wife likes me much, Rick."

"Yeah, well we both think you're a sexist pig."

"I'm sorry, I was just trying to motivate you," Terry walked over to get his equipment.

"Motivate me? By hitting on my wife and calling me an old man?"

"It won't happen again. I sincerely apologize."

"Well, the person that you should be apologizing to is my wife. She almost lost me and our five-year-old daughter a month ago. She doesn't need bullshit from you!"

"Look, Rick . . . Mr. Castle, if you want another therapist—"

"Why in the hell would I want to start over again with another therapist? Just stop with the comments regarding me and Kate. If you can do that, I'm willing to forget everything. But, one more comment and I'll be calling the New York Medical Board. Are we clear?"

"Crystal, sir. How's the scar on your ribs? Does it still pull quite a bit?"

"Yeah, but Kate told me to expect that. She also has a thoracotomy scar, but hers is a lot larger than mine is."

"What were the circumstances behind her needing a chest tube?"

"She was shot, and they had to go in and do something with her heart. It filled with blood or something. They did a hatchet job on her. It was almost nine years ago and she still has problems with it on occasion."

"The doctor probably used the incision to work on her heart. That's probably why the scar is larger. Anyway, this is a resistance band and you're going to start using it to improve the strength in your arms."

"_Roger?" Castle mocked the name Kate had just told him._

"_Don't make fun. Do you know what he has that few men have?"_

"_A Josh Groban CD? Uh, Hummel figurines?"_

"_No, not even close. Roger has the most incredible resistance band."_

He wondered if Kate still talked to her former physical therapist, who supposedly had the best resistance band around. Castle knew that Roger couldn't be any worse than Terry.

Downstairs, Kate bought a bag of M&M's from the vending machine and wandered around for a few minutes before finding a quiet corner, where she took out her phone and went online. She was immersed in reading when she sensed that she wasn't alone. "Kate?" She looked up into the dark eyes of Dr. Burke. "How's Castle? Has he been released from here?"

"He came home yesterday. He had a physical therapy session upstairs. I didn't think he'd want me hanging around."

"Did he get Dr. Swann's number?"

"Yes, I gave it to him. Thank you."

"How is Ariel?" He took a seat beside her.

"She didn't want to go to school this morning. She insisted that she could stay home and take care of her daddy."

"The fear of being separated from him again is normal given what they've been through. How are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm glad that he's home," she smiled. "I feel like things are finally going to be normal again."

"Kate, things aren't going to be exactly as they were before the accident. As you're well aware, the psychological trauma can be as hard to overcome as the physical."

"I know. I remember you telling me that. So, you think both Castle and Ari are going to suffer from PTSD?"

"Not every victim of trauma gets PTSD, Kate. But yes, they're going to have to come to terms with what happened that night. And so are you."

"I've still got you on speed dial," she gave him a small smile.

"I'm glad to hear it. Call me if you need to talk," he got up and walked away.

Knowing that he'd be in pain after P.T., but needing to eat before he could take anything, Kate drove her and Castle to Remy's for lunch. "Hey, Mr. Castle, Mrs. Castle," Wendy, their usual waitress approached their table. "It's good to see you up and about, Mr. Castle."

"Thanks, Wendy. Can we get the usual?" Castle asked.

"Right away."

"How was therapy?" Kate took Castle's hand in hers, drawing circles on the back of it with her thumb.

"Rough. We started on the resistance band. I thought of you when Terry explained what I was going to be doing."

"It'll hurt, at first, but it's so worth it," she smiled at the memory of her work with Roger.

"I also told Terry that if he didn't stop with the comments, I was going to report him to the state board. You're my wife and I hate that he doesn't have more respect for that."

Kate smiled. Castle was such a good, decent man and there were times when she still felt that she didn't deserve him. "That was sweet."

Wendy brought their food over and after Castle took several bites, Kate handed him one of his pain pills. She just hoped that he could stay awake long enough to get back into the loft once they'd eaten. "It is so great to be able to eat food that has different tastes. In the hospital, everything smelled and tasted like Listerine," he took a bite of his burger.

"Josh used to sneak me all kinds of stuff," Kate smiled and rolled her eyes at the memory. "I thought Dr. Kovacs was going to kill him. I tried to sneak you a pizza one night, but Nurse Ratched caught me."

They shared a smile over one of the most awful nurses Castle had had during his stay. "I think Florence Nightingale trained her. She was the most by the book person I've ever met."

"Worse than Gates?" Kate challenged him.

"Way worse. I slept really good last night. I didn't even hear you get out of bed this morning."

"I was hoping to get Ari off to school without waking you. I wasn't counting on her having one of her epic meltdowns."

"Has she been having a lot of them?"

"Last week, I had Alexis pick her up at school. I'm just glad that they know Alexis at Marlowe because she reported to me that Ari carried on like she was being abducted because I wasn't there to pick her up."

"Did you tell her that Alexis was going to pick her up?"

"Castle, Alexis is her sister."

"And we're also talking about a child whose entire world has been turned upside down. I'm just saying the whole thing could've been avoided if you'd told her that morning that Alexis was picking her up."

"Do we have to talk about this right now?"

He knew the look in her greenish-brown eyes all too well. It was the look that said she was ready to pick a fight. "No, we don't have to talk about it right now."

"Good, because you're making it sound like I don't know how to deal with our daughter."

"Well Kate, you were the one arguing with a five-year-old this morning. You're the adult. You have the final word."

'We're both readjusting,' she told herself. 'He's tired, and he's in pain. Let it go.' "Are you ready to go home?" She asked out loud.

"Yeah," he slipped into his coat before standing up and slipping his crutches under his arm.

"Wait for me while I pay the ticket."

Castle stood by the door while Kate went up to the cashier. He didn't want to fight. He'd only been home for two days. He knew that they were both tired. He knew that she was on edge. He'd sensed it for weeks now. He didn't want to push her to the breaking point. He decided to make a phone call when he got home if he could stay awake. He nudged the door opened when Kate walked back over to him. She walked over to the SUV, unlocked and opened his door for him, taking his crutches to stow in the backseat. She waited until he'd clicked his seatbelt before closing the door. She then walked around and got behind the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. "Kate?" He said her name softly as she turned to look at him. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight. Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"When's the last time that you took any time for yourself? I know that you've been trying to juggle work, the kids, and me being in the hospital. But what about you?"

"Castle, I don't have time for me right now. Now, can we please put all of this on hold so that I can get you home?"

Castle was drowsy when they walked into the loft, but he was still able to maneuver himself toward his recliner. But he stopped and looked at Kate. "Are you going to go and get Jack?"

"I wanted you to get some rest first, but I can go and get him now if you want."

"No," he shook his head. "I was going to lie down on our bed, but I want you to lay down with me. Please?"

"Okay," she was powerless to resist him.

When they got to the bedroom, she was surprised when he settled down on her side of the bed. "It can't be comfortable lying against that cast," he offered as explanation, watching her sit on the side of the bed and tug her boots off before lying down on his side of the bed and pressing close to him, feeling his arm come around her. "This is what I've missed more than anything. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've definitely missed the sex," he said as she chuckled. "But I've really missed just holding you in our bed."

"I've missed it, too."

"Don't let me sleep long. I need to make a phone call," his voice was drowsy.

"I'll wake you up before I go to pick Ari up at school."

"Perfect," he smiled.

Kate hadn't planned on going to sleep herself, but being held close to Castle once again, listening to his heart beating under her ear lulled her to sleep. She didn't open her eyes until she heard Martha's voice in the bedroom doorway. "Katherine? It's 1:30. Are you going to leave to pick up Ariel or do you want me to go get her?"

"No," Kate sat up. "I'll go get her. Thank you." She looked at Castle, peacefully sleeping beside her and gently shook him. "Castle? Rick?" He opened sleepy blue eyes and smiled at her. "You wanted me to wake you before I left to pick up Ari. I'm leaving in a few minutes."

"Okay. Thank you."

"I'll be back in half an hour or so with both kids," she kissed him before getting off of the bed.

Castle lay in bed for a few minutes until he heard the door close before he sat up and grabbed his phone. "Lanie? It's Castle."

"Hey, Writer-Boy. Why are you calling me in the middle of the afternoon?"

"Kate's slipping down the rabbit hole, Lanie. What in the hell have I done?"

"Castle, you haven't done anything. She's coming to the precinct tomorrow to spar with Espo in the gym. I'll text her and see if we can meet for lunch. I'll get her to open up. You're home now, Castle. Things will get better."

"I hope so, Lanie."

After ending the call, he got up and went to the bathroom before making his way to the living room where he found Martha on the sofa reading a magazine. "How are you feeling?"

"Not too bad," Castle grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator and came to sit in his recliner. "Kate's going to the gym tomorrow to work out with Espo."

"That's good. It'll do her good to work out some of her frustrations."

"I feel like all of this is my fault. If I had fought harder not to let them take Ariel—"

"Richard Castle, stop right now!" Martha's eyes were flashing blue fire as she faced her only child. "You'd walk through fire for Kate or any of your children. You've proven it time and again. But sometimes things happen that are out of your control. Both you and Katherine need to come to terms with that. I have watched her for weeks. The fact that she can't control this situation is driving her insane. She wants you to be perfect. She wants Ariel to be perfect. I've tried talking to her, but she won't listen. Maybe now that you're home, you can get her to understand that there are just forces in this life that you can't control. Kate doesn't understand why her precious baby girl won't talk to her about what happened to her after she was taken from that car."

"Mother, I'm not even sure I'm ready to hear the details."

"Nevertheless, the details have to come out. Like it or not, it's the only way this family is going to be able to heal and move forward."

"You're right, mother," he smiled and reached for her hand, squeezing it.

Castle was channel surfing when Kate arrived home with the kids a short time later. They both ran over to him, fighting over who was going to get to greet him first. "I'm older, Jack!" Ariel shoved at her little brother. "Go away!"

"Ariel!" Castle shouted at her as Ariel jumped back. "You don't put your hands on your brother! He's smaller than you!"

Ariel burst into tears and ran for the stairs. "What's going on?" Kate asked, hanging up hers' and the kids coats.

"Sissy pushed me," Jack announced.

"Jack, why don't you go play in your room? I want to talk to daddy for a minute," Kate said as Jack hung his head, but did as he was told. "They're excited to see you, Rick. Did you really have to shout at her like that?"

"I'm going to go see about Ariel," Martha quickly left the room.

"Kate, she knows better than to put her hands on any child, especially a child who's smaller than her," he defended.

"Castle, is this our new normal?" She fought to keep the emotion out of her voice.

"What do you mean?"

"You just came home. I don't want to be angry at you. But we're all trying to get used to you being here again. You're trying to get used to being back home. I know that you're in pain and I know that Ari and Jack are a little out of control. I admit that I gave in a little more than I normally would because sometimes it's just easier to give in than to listen to them throw a fit. It's just that I've been so tired for so long—"

"I know. Kate, I'm sorry. I read somewhere that it takes a week to get rid of a month of bad behavior. Believe me; we'll get them reined back in. When they're in bed tonight, I want you to put Coltrane on in the bathroom, light some candles; grab _Naked Heat_ and take a long, soaking bubble bath."

"Is that your cure for everything?"

"Just about. Oh, and add a glass of chilled white wine to that list."

"What are your ideas concerning our daughter?"

"Bring Jack down here. Let me spend some time with him, and then I'll make my way upstairs to talk to Ariel."

"Castle, you shouldn't be going up the stairs."

"Kate, I need to talk to her alone."

"Okay."

Kate went upstairs, returning seconds later with Jack, who carefully climbed up to sit on his father's uninjured leg. "How was your day?" Jack asked, eyeing his father carefully.

Even though Jack was barely two years old, his vocabulary was extensive thanks to an older sister and all of the adults who were in his life. He was already talking in five and sometimes six word sentences. "My day was good. How was your day?" Castle asked.

"We played cowboys and aliens."

"Don't you mean cowboys and Indians?"

"No, aliens. Braxton had aliens."

"Did you hear that, mommy? Braxton has aliens," Castle smiled at Kate.

"Jack, do you and daddy want to play with your Super Heroes?"

"Okay. You play, too."

"I'm going to check on Sissy and then I'll be downstairs to play Super Heroes."

Going upstairs, Kate saw that Martha seemed to have everything under control, so she made a stop in Jack's room, retrieving his huge bag of Super Heroes, with a few soldiers mixed in for good measure. "Is everything okay?" Castle looked up when he heard Kate coming down the stairs.

"She's fine."

For the next 45 minutes, Castle, Kate, and Jack played with the little boy's odd combination of Super Heroes and soldiers. It warmed Kate's heart to hear her husband and her son giggle together, as they made funny noises over the toys. She had always loved how he could get down to their level. When Kate played with them, she had a tendency to be more on the realistic, educational side. "What is that?" Jack pointed at the cast on Castle's wrist.

"It's a cast. It's to make my boo-boo better."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little."

"Did mommy kiss it?"

"Yeah, she did," Castle smiled over at Kate, who was sitting on the floor by the recliner.

"Can I kiss it?"

"Yes, you can," he held his injured wrist out so that Jack could plant a kiss on the back of the cast. "Now I know it's going to get better."

"I'm hungry," Jack suddenly announced. "I want 'sketti."

"I want spaghetti, too," Kate turned to find Ari standing by the stairs with her Gram.

"How does spaghetti sound to you, Castle?"

"Sounds great."

"Daddy, can I play with you and Jack?" Ariel leaned on the arm of the recliner.

"I always say the more the merrier. Jack, make room for Sissy," Castle moved Jack so that Ariel could climb up on the chair.

"I'm sorry that I pushed you, Jack," Ariel wiped at her still wet face.

"It's okay. Here, you take Hulk."

"Why is he green?" Ariel asked her father.

"He ate too many peas," Jack made a face as Kate and Castle both laughed. "Can I watch Thomas?"

"You don't want to play, anymore?"

"No, I want to watch Thomas."

"You can watch Thomas until dinner's ready," Kate lifted Jack off of Castle's lap and turned the TV on, finding Thomas the Tank Engine on the DVR.

"Ariel, would you like to read?" Castle pulled Ariel closer to him, feeling her cuddle into him.

"No, I just want to sit here."

"Ariel, I'm sorry," he kissed her hair. "I didn't mean to shout at you."

Kate was standing in the kitchen, cooking dinner, looking over her family in the living room. It was almost like it had been before everything had gone to hell. She watched Ari climb over the arm of the recliner and walk into the kitchen. "Do you want to help me with dinner, Miss Ari?" Ari solemnly nodded. Kate walked over to the counter and pulled one of the bar stools back into the kitchen, placing it in front of the sink. "Can you wash these carrots for me?"

"Okay."

***CCC***

After dinner and baths, the kids both cuddled on Castle's lap as he read to them. Kate was sitting on the sofa, reading from her own tablet. She glanced over and smiled. "Castle, you've lost half of your audience," she nodded to where Jack had fallen asleep, his head tilting toward Ari. "He's full of spaghetti and ice cream. I'm surprised he didn't fall asleep in the bathtub." She got up and walked over, scooping him up as he awakened enough to wrap his arms and legs around her.

Ariel started to get up, but Castle stopped her. "I have to go to bed, daddy, or I won't get up on time in the morning."

"You can go in just a few minutes. Baby girl, you know that sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do, right?"

"Uh-huh. Like eating broccoli," she made a face as Castle laughed.

"Yeah, I hear you there. Jordan's friends want you and me to tell them about what happened that night, Ariel."

"It was scary. I don't want to talk about it."

"I know. I don't want to talk about it, either. But, you're not going to be alone, Ariel. I'm going to be in there and so is Dr. Jimenez from school."

"And mommy?"

"Do you want mommy to be in there, too?"

"I don't know. Will we be in the room with the magic mirror?"

"Yeah, we'll be in one of the rooms with the magic mirror."

"How many more people will I have to talk to?"

"These are the last ones, Ariel. Unless you decide that you want to talk about it again."

"Pinky swear?" She held out her little finger, smiling when he held his finger out and wrapped it gently around hers. She then giggled when she felt him tickling her.

"You'd better go up to bed. I love you and I'll see you in the morning."

"Goodnight, daddy," she kissed his cheek before climbing over the arm of the recliner and going up the stairs.

***CCC***

After making sure both kids were asleep, Kate took Castle's advice. She took her iPod into the bathroom, filled the tub with water and bubble bath, lit some candles, and took a glass of red wine with her. Coltrane always relaxed her and tonight was no exception. By the time she emerged from the bathroom almost an hour later, she felt much better.

Castle was propped up in bed with his laptop resting on his good leg. "How was your bath?" He looked up.

"Wonderful," she climbed into bed beside him, resting her head on his shoulder. "Were you writing?"

"No, catching up on email. I'm kind of blocked right now. I want you to call Gates in the morning and schedule something with the FBI before Ariel changes her mind."

"Okay. How's the pain?"

"Let's see. My wrist is okay, my ribs are about a six, my head is about a four, and my leg is a 37."

"I'm sorry, Castle."

"Yeah, so am I," he kissed the top of her head before shutting down his laptop and putting it on the floor. "I'm really tired, Kate."

She turned off the light and settled down beside him, wondering once again if this was indeed their new normal.

**A/N #3: For Linda19, who thinks I'm neglecting Jack's role in this story. Like I said a few chapters earlier, be patient. I promise that Jack, Alexis, Martha, the boys, Lanie, and even Capt. Gates are going to get their turns. This is going to be a very long story. I would venture to say that I'm not even a third of the way through. Please trust me. **

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	10. Battling Monsters

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I still don't own 'Castle.'**

**SUMMARY: Castle and Ariel talk with the FBI.**

**A/N #1: I know that this experience has affected the whole Castle/Beckett family, as well as extended family. I will start trying to explore how it has affected everyone starting with this chapter. However, I'm also going to try to inject a little bit of lightness into this chapter before I plunge into the meat of it, so to speak. **

**A/N #2: This is where the rating is going to change, because Ariel is going to use some language that no five-year-old should ever use. So, M-rated for language.**

**A/N #3: This story has reached 100 reviews on !**

Chapter 10: Battling Monsters

_January 18_

"Does Castle have P.T. this morning?" Esposito asked, holding the heavy bag as Beckett kicked at it hard. They had been having these sparring sessions every morning for the past week, and she usually kicked his ass.

"No," Kate huffed out as she punched the bag with both fists. "Terry called in sick."

"How are things going at home?" Javi let go of the bag when Beckett walked over to the bench and began toweling her sweaty face and arms.

"He snaps at the kids, Javi. Sometimes for no real reason. They're making more noise than he likes or they leave a toy out. The kids are starting to withdraw from him."

"What about you? Does he snap at you?" Espo came over and sat down beside her, pulling out a bottle of water and taking a long drink.

"It seems like all we do anymore is fight with each other. He's even done it to Martha, only she's made it pretty clear that she isn't going to put up with it. I know that he doesn't mean it," she took out her own bottle of water. "He's always apologetic afterwards. I know that he has a lot on his mind."

"Stop making excuses for him, Kate."

"I want to bring someone in to help out when I go back to work in a couple of weeks, but every time I bring it up, Castle gets so pissed off. He keeps telling me how he never used a nanny with Alexis, so he won't have one now. Javi, he was more than 20 years younger then and he didn't have two casts to deal with. Even after the cast comes off of his leg, he's not going to be one hundred percent. How does he expect to chase after an extremely active two-year-old? Martha has her school to deal with. And my downstairs neighbor has her hands full with her own two grandchildren. It isn't fair to expect either of them to look after our children."

"Then, that's what you need to tell Castle. Exactly what you just told me. When are they talking to the feds?"

"Wednesday morning. We have a meeting with Dr. Jimenez tomorrow morning after Castle gets done with physical therapy. Then Friday morning he's meeting Dr. Swann for the first time."

"Who's Dr. Swann?"

"The psychologist that Dr. Burke recommended."

***CCC***

Castle felt like he was going stir crazy. Terry had called shortly after six, telling him that he was sick and wouldn't be available for his therapy session that morning. Kate had left for the precinct, telling him that she was going to be working out in the gym with Esposito. She'd kissed him before leaving with Jack, telling him that she'd be back at around 9:30.

Martha was at the dining table, working on scenes for her drama school students. "Mother, are you busy?" He asked.

"I need to get these scenes done. Why? Do you need something?"

"Yes. Let's go downstairs to get Jack and go to the precinct."

"Richard—"

"I want to talk to Capt. Gates and it would be nice for Kate and me to spend some time with our son. I can't drive and if I use the car service, I'll have to switch out car seats. If you drive us, we can use the car seat in your car. I'd also just like to get out of here for a little while."

Martha looked up from the work that she was doing. She could easily understand how bored Richard had to be. He was used to either caring for Jack or working with Kate. While he spent a lot of time in idleness, since meeting Kate, it really no longer suited him. "What's going on, Richard? This isn't really about talking to Gates or spending the day with Katherine and Jack. So, what's going on?"

"Well, considering that I've been a total rat bastard to my kids lately, I thought it might be nice to spend a day with my wife and my son. You know, give him some undivided attention."

"Richard—"

"Let's get dressed, pick up my son, and go to see Kate," he turned to go to his and Kate's bedroom to change.

An hour later, the two adults and Jack stepped off of the elevator at the precinct to a rousing chorus of 'Hey, Castle!' from everybody in the bull pen.

"Hey Castle, what're you doing here? Hi, Martha," Ryan greeted Castle's mother with a bright smile before turning his attention to Jack, who was holding onto his Gram's hand. "Jack, how ya doing, buddy?" Ryan reached down and scooped the little boy up.

"We're going to see mommy."

"Mr. Castle, Mrs. Rodgers, what brings you here?" Capt. Gates came out of her office.

"I brought Richard and Jack to meet up with Kate when she finishes her workout with Javier. Now that I've done my motherly duties, I have things to do," Martha kissed Richard, and then Jack. "Have fun, you two."

"We will, mother. Thank you," Castle smiled. He waited until Martha had left to get on the elevator before turning back to the captain. "Could I talk to you for a few minutes, sir?"

"Of course. Come on, Jack."

"He's fine. I've got him," Ryan volunteered.

"Det. Ryan, need I remind you that the last time you and your partner were left with young Mr. Castle here, he managed to lock himself in one of the interrogation rooms."

"Jack," Tory Ellis entered the bull pen as Jack's face lit up.

"Tory!" He squealed, holding his arms out to the video tech.

"I'll take him, Ryan. I'm sure we can find some games to play on the computer. Come on, Jack," she reached out, taking him from Ryan's arms.

"Let's go chat, Mr. Castle," Gates led Castle to her office, closing the door behind them.

"Thank you for keeping the feds at bay," he said as he sat down across from her desk.

"Mr. Castle, we're all family. I wasn't going to have them force Ariel to talk to them when she wasn't even ready to talk to her parents. How is she doing?"

"Well, I've got her talked into coming in with me on Wednesday. She compares it to having to eat broccoli," he couldn't help grinning. "Ariel's not a fan of broccoli."

"So I gathered. How are you doing?"

"Well, the casts come off in 21 days and I will no longer be dependent on anyone in my family. Maybe then I can stop being so on edge."

Capt. Gates didn't have an answer for that one.

When Kate got off of the elevator on the fourth floor an hour later, having showered following her workout, she was surprised when she saw Castle sitting by Ryan's desk, with Jack on his knee. "Castle?"

"Mommy!" Jack hopped off of Castle's knee, running over to Kate, throwing his small arms around her knee.

"Mother brought us up here. I thought we could spend some time together with Jack before we have to pick Ariel up at school."

"Yeah, I'd like that," Kate smiled, before bending down and hoisting Jack up to her hip. "This is a nice surprise."

It was a relatively mild day for mid January, so after eating breakfast, they went to the carousel in Central Park. "Get on one of the horses with Jack and let me get some video," Castle urged Kate as she rolled her eyes. "Come on, Beckett. When is the last time you actually laughed with your kids?"

"Sometime before the 19th of December," she whispered.

"My point, exactly. We're not dead, Kate. Ariel and I are still here. You need to stop running away from us. Have some fun with us."

He gave her that infectious grin that she so loved. The one that she saw on her small son several times every day. "I'm not running, Rick. I'm just frustrated."

"So am I. Now, get on a carousel horse with our son and make a fool of yourself."

"This had better not go viral, Castle," she scooped Jack up and got on a white horse with pink decorations. "Wave at daddy, Jack. He's going to make us famous."

"Hi, daddy!" Jack waved his chubby hand as Castle held out his phone and took video. Alexis had loved the horses when she was small. But he and Kate had learned that Ariel was the exact opposite. Anything that moved in a circle made their daughter violently sick. Which according to Kate and Castle, left out all of the fun rides. Ferris Wheels, Merry-Go-Rounds, Carousel Horses. Ariel couldn't ride any of them without a barf bag.

But Jack loved the Carousel Horses at the park. Castle smiled as Kate passed by on the horse, hugging Jack and laughing. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen Kate laugh in the last several weeks.

After riding the horses, they went to the duck pond where Castle removed a bag of stale bread from his jacket pocket and handed it to Jack. "Don't get too close to the water," he instructed as he took a seat on a bench with Kate.

"I won't," Jack toddled to the edge of the pond and threw in small handfuls of bread as the ducks swam up to greedily gobble it.

"Kate, even though we can't have sex, we can still be intimate."

"Do you think that's what this is all about, Castle? I watch our babies when they sleep; I listen to them when they're playing. They're half you and they're half me. Jerry Tyson has taken from us and taken from us. In death, he's still taking from us," she took a deep, shuddering breath. "I see you suffering and I see Ari suffering."

"I think that telling our story one last time is going to help," he grasped her hand as he looked at Jack still throwing bread into the water. "I'd like to think that this mysterious Dr. Swann that I'm going to be meeting on Friday is going to help. Kate, we've been through some awful stuff. We've made it through all of that and we're going to make it through this."

"Keep telling me that, okay?"

"Always," his lips brushed against hers.

"Ewww! Mommy, daddy, stop kissing!" Jack climbed onto the bench between them.

"One day, you're going to like girls kissing you," Kate teased him, tickling his neck as he squirmed and giggled.

"No way, mommy!"

"Yes way, James Jackson!"

"Only want to kiss you, mommy," Jack climbed into Kate's lap, cupping her face and giving her a smacking kiss.

"I think that's only okay in Kentucky," Castle remarked as Kate gave him The Look. "What? He has no clue what I'm talking about."

"But I _know_ what you're talking about," she leaned over and kissed him again. "Let's go pick Ari up at school. After we wash your hands," Kate made a face when she caught a whiff of Jack's small hands. "Were you petting the ducks?"

"They're my friends."

"Jack, they're filthy and smelly. Now, so are you," she kissed him once again as he howled in protest.

"Ice cream!"

"Jack, it's too early for ice cream," Kate got up from the bench, adjusting Jack on her hip, watching Castle struggle to his feet. "Are you okay, Castle?"

"I'm good," he finally managed to get up and get the crutches under his arms.

The sky had started to turn gray when they pulled up in front of Marlowe Prep Elementary School. "So much for our nice January day," Castle stared up at the sky.

"Do you want to wait in the car with Jack? I'll just be a few minutes."

"I'll wait," he smiled.

"I'll fix dinner when we get home so you can take a pain pill."

"I'm not in—"

"Castle, it's me that you're talking to."

"Okay. I'll call Alexis to see if she and Brian want to join us."

"That sounds great. I'll be right back."

Castle pulled out his phone and dialed Alexis' number. He got her voice mail, so he left a message. "Hey, pumpkin. It's your dad. Kate, the kids, and I would like for you and Brian to join us for dinner tonight. Call me when you get this. I love you. Bye."

Kate was standing with the other parents when the final bell rang. The doors opened and children came pouring out. She smiled when she saw her own daughter come out of the doors. "Mommy!" Ari ran up and threw her arms around her mother.

"Hi, chunky monkey," Kate bent down, straightening Ari's coat collar. "Come on. Daddy and Jack are waiting in the car for us."

"Why did daddy and Jack come?" Ari asked as Kate took her hand and began walking her to the car.

"Because we were out doing things."

"What things?" Ari stopped walking.

"Daddy was bored staying at home, so we went out with Jack for a little while."

"Where?"

"Ari, does it matter?" Kate could feel her irritation rising. "Come on, it's going to get colder soon."

Castle could see the sulk plastered on Ariel's face when Kate buckled her into her booster seat before getting behind the wheel of the car. "What's going on?" He asked.

"She's upset because we took Jack out on an outing," Kate started the engine.

"Okay. What did you do at school today, Ariel?" He turned to smile at his daughter.

"Where did you go with Jack?" She asked, ignoring her father's question.

"The duck pond!" Jack announced. "Mommy rode the horse with me." 

"Jack, be nice," Kate warned. "Ari, daddy and I will do something with you soon. I promise. Are Alexis and Brian coming to dinner?" She turned to Castle.

"I left a message, but Alexis hasn't called me back yet."

"Can we get a hamster?" Ari asked, her anger at her parents dissipating as quickly as it had risen.

"What's a hamster?" Jack wanted to know.

"It lives in a cage and it'll be mine and live in my room. You can't touch it."

"Ariel Johanna," Kate's voice came across as a stern warning.

"Well, he can't."

"We'll talk about this later."

Martha was at the dining table going over lesson plans when the rest of her family walked into the loft. Ariel and Jack both ran over to her. "Gram, I'm getting a hamster!" Ariel's eyes were bright.

"Ariel, mommy said we'd talk about that," Castle reminded her.

"Why would you want a small rat?" Martha looked at her granddaughter.

"Ari, go change your clothes, please."

"How was your day with your husband and son?" Martha asked after Ariel had gone upstairs to change out of her school clothes.

"It was fun," Kate admitted. "It was nice to relax, although I think Castle's paying the price for it now."

"He's trying not to take those pain pills even though he still needs them."

"Hey, I'm right here," Castle hobbled over and sat at the table as Jack tried climbing on him. "Jack, no. Go play."

"I'm going to start dinner," Kate got up and walked over, kissing Castle on top of his head.

"It's still early," Castle pointed out.

"And you're in pain and need to eat something before you can take a pain pill," she reminded him.

Castle was about to say something when his phone rang. He smiled when he saw that it was Alexis. "Hey, sweetie," he answered the phone.

"Hi, dad. I got your message," Alexis' voice sounded strained. "Could we take a rain check?"

"Alexis, what's wrong?" 

"Nothing. I'm just not feeling good."

"Again, what's wrong?" Kate glanced at Castle from the kitchen.

"I think I'm coming down with something. I don't want to give it to anybody else."

"Have you seen a doctor?"

"No, not yet. I'm going to try to get some sleep."

"Okay, sweetie. Well, keep us posted on how you're feeling, okay?"

"Okay, dad. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"What's wrong with Alexis?" Kate asked after Castle ended the call.

"She thinks she's coming down with something. She sounded like she was in pain."

"Did she say what her symptoms are?" Kate asked.

"No, she just said she didn't want to get any of us sick."

"That sounds like Alexis. I'm sure that she's fine, Castle."

***CCC***

_January 20_

It was bitterly cold the morning that Castle and Ariel were scheduled to talk to the FBI. Kate wasn't sure who was more uptight; her husband or her daughter. "Castle, remember what Dr. Jimenez told us yesterday," she whispered to him. "If he senses that Ari is getting agitated, he'll stop the interview immediately."

"What happens if I get agitated?" He whispered back.

Ari watched her parents warily. She sensed that they were upset and wondered if it was because of something that she'd done. "Mommy?"

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"You can come in if you want to. I don't want you to be mad at me because I didn't want you in there."

"Ari, I'm not mad at you," Kate knelt down. "Daddy's going to be there if you get too scared and so is Uncle Javi. Uncle Kevin, Capt. Gates and I are going to be watching you through the magic mirror. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Det. Beckett?" Kate stood up and glared at Agent McMurphy, who was walking toward her with Agent Avery. "You remember Agent Avery?"

"It's been a long time, but yes, I remember him," Kate and Castle both shook the hand of the agent who had assisted Agent Shaw and the NYPD during the Scott Dunn case.

"So, you must be Ariel," McMurphy knelt down in front of Ariel, who watched him through suspicious eyes. "Dr. Jimenez and Det. Esposito are already waiting for us. Are you ready?"

"Ariel?" Castle looked down at his daughter, who slowly nodded. "Let's get this over with."

"We'll talk to Ariel first, and then we'll send her out so that we can talk with you, Mr. Castle."

When they walked into the interview room, Esposito was sitting at the long table across from Dr. Jimenez, who had several large cloth dolls as well as a toy car in a box in front of him. "Hey, Little Chica," Javi greeted Ariel, who came over and gave him a hug. "You want to sit on my lap since your dad has a huge cast on his leg?"

"Okay," Ariel smiled as Javi lifted her up onto his lap and Castle took a seat by his side, trying to get comfortable.

"He needs a chair to prop his leg up on," Kate said on the other side of the mirror.

"I'll take care of it," Gates left the ob room, and went to retrieve a chair which she took to the interrogation room.

Kate, Kevin and Gates watched while McMurphy adjusted the microphone on the table and entered in all of the necessary information. "Ariel, how old are you?"

"Five."

"Wow, so do you go to school?"

"Don't talk down to her, you moron," Kate whispered.

"Easy, Beckett," Kevin whispered back.

"I'm in Kindergarten."

"Ariel, do you know Dr. Jimenez? He works at your school."

"I talked to him yesterday."

"Great. Now, he's brought some dolls with him so that we can talk about what happened the night that you and your daddy got hurt. Do you think that you can show us with the dolls what happened that night?"

"I was looking at the Iron building when someone crashed into my car."

"The Iron building?"

"She means the Flatiron Building," Castle said.

"Oh, I like that building, too. What happened after someone crashed into your car?"

"Daddy was asleep for a few minutes. I kept telling him to wake up. Then he did."

"What happened when your daddy woke up?"

"He told me to get out of my seat and find a person with a phone so that I could call mommy."

"And did you get out of your seat?"

"No. My buckle wouldn't open. It was stuck."

"Did you tell your daddy that your buckle was stuck?"

"I think so, but I don't remember. Someone opened my door," Ariel's breathing sped up.

"It's okay, Little Chica," Javi whispered in her ear. "They can't hurt you, anymore."

"Det. Esposito," McMurphy shot him a warning look. "Who opened your door, Ariel?"

"Daddy said that the man and the lady were there to help me."

Kate's breath caught as her eyes met Castle's and she saw the guilt written all over his face. He'd thought that they were good Samaritans. "Did they say anything, Ariel?" She heard McMurphy ask as she refocused her attention on the interview in progress.

"I told the bad man and the bad lady that my buckle was stuck and that I needed to use their phone so I could call mommy at work. The bad man took out a really big knife and he cut the strap. I started to climb out of my seat, but the bad man grabbed me really hard."

Castle swiped at his face angrily as he listened to Ariel. Agent Avery saw that he was losing his composure. "Mr. Castle, do you need a few minutes?"

"No," Castle shook his head.

"Ariel, can you show me how the bad man grabbed you?"

Ariel took the largest of the rag dolls and the smallest one, and wrapped the larger doll's hand around the smaller dolls upper arm. "I screamed because it hurt."

"I'm sure that it did. Did he say anything when he grabbed you?"

"I can't tell you," she hid her face in Esposito's shoulder.

"Ariel? Why can't you tell me?"

"Because I'll get the time-out chair."

"Ariel, remember what mommy and I have told you about telling the truth?" Castle put his hand on Ariel's shoulder. "You're not going to get the time-out chair if you're telling the truth. Just this once, you can use bad words."

"He told me to shut the fuck up," Ariel spilled the words out quickly. "Daddy told him to let me go. He told him that the bad man wanted daddy, not me."

"So, your daddy knew who had grabbed you?"

"Hey," Castle gave the agent a hard look. "Save that question for me."

"Ariel, what happened next?"

"The bad man pulled me out of the car like this," she put the large doll's hand around the smaller doll's waist, "and he kind of threw me to the bad lady," she mimicked being tossed over to the larger female doll. "He laughed this mean laugh and told daddy that he knew that I'd be a fighter. He told me that I was just like my mother."

"What was the next thing that happened?"

"I was screaming and he put his hand over my mouth," she demonstrated on the dolls, "and I bit him. He got really mad and hit me hard across my face. The bad lady told him not to do that and he told her to shut the fuck up."

"Nieman was trying to protect her," Kate whispered.

"It doesn't matter. She's still a monster," Kevin reminded her.

"Shh," Gates hushed the two of them.

"Did anybody help when you were screaming?"

"Yes, but the bad man took out a gun and started shooting. A man tried to take me from the bad lady, but the bad man pushed him and pointed the gun at him."

"You're doing really great, Ariel. What happened after they took you away from your daddy's car?"

"This lady got out of her car to help, and the bad man pointed his gun at her and said 'We're taking your car.' She tried to fight with him, but he pushed her down really hard. I heard her scream when she fell into the street. He told the bad lady to get in the car. She got in and held me on her lap really tight. He got in the car and threw a bag between the seats."

"What kind of a bag, Ariel?"

"It looks like the one mommy takes with her when she goes to the gym. It had bombs in it."

"Bombs? Are you sure?"

"I've seen them in the Road Runner cartoons that me and daddy watch. They were red and had things sticking out of the end of them."

"Did the bad man drive away?"

"Yes. I kept crying and he kept telling the bad lady to make me shut up."

"Did she hit you?"

"No," Ariel shook her head. "She kept telling me that everything was going to be okay. She said that I was almost as perfect as my mommy. She had red hair like my Gram and Lex. But I didn't like her."

"I'm sure that you didn't. Did you keep crying for your mommy and daddy?"

"Yes. The bad man was getting really, really mad," she gritted her teeth together to get her point across. "He kept saying that Castle was going to pay. He just kept saying that over and over. The bad lady told him that Castle was already paying. She said 'We have his daughter and soon we'll have the rest of them.' But I just screamed louder, saying that I wanted my mommy and I wanted my daddy. The bad man said that it was almost time. And the bad lady told him that no, it couldn't end like this. She said that I was too perfect. He said that it had to be this way."

Esposito could feel Ariel trembling violently in his arms as she told about what had happened that night. "How are you doing, Ariel?"

"I just want to finish so I don't have to talk about it again," she looked at him.

"Ariel, what happened after he said that it had to be this way?"

"There were really bright lights coming down into the car. The car was going really fast. The bad lady told me and the bad man that she was sorry. I saw the car door open and I got really scared. Then she grabbed my arms," she demonstrated on the dolls, "and threw me out of the car."

"Were you scared?"

"A car almost ran over me when I fell in the street. My legs and my hands hurt. Then I heard Uncle Javi and Uncle Kevin calling to me. They told me to run as fast as I could."

Espo turned when he felt Castle's hand squeezing his shoulder. "Thank you, bro," Castle whispered as Espo nodded.

"And did you run?"

"Uncle Kevin was running in between the cars, but Uncle Javi was on the side of the road. He kept yelling 'Run, Little Chica! Don't stop! Run!' I ran into him and he yelled at Uncle Kevin that he had me. I told Uncle Javi that there was a bomb in the bad man's car. He yelled at Uncle Kevin to hit the deck. I don't know what he was talking about, because there wasn't a deck. My Grandpa has a deck at his house."

Kate, Kevin, and Gates couldn't help but smile on the other side of the mirror. "Children are very literal," Gates whispered.

"I meant hit the ground, Little Chica," Espo squeezed her.

"Oh."

"What happened after you hit the ground?"

"There was a huge explosion and fire way in the sky. It made my ears hurt. Did the bad man and bad lady really go away?"

"They really went away," McMurphy assured her. "You and your family never have to worry about them again."

"Does that mean I don't have to talk about this ever again?"

"You don't have to talk to anybody else about this unless you want to. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Now Ariel, Det. Esposito is going to take you back to your mommy, because we need to talk to your daddy alone. Thank you for being very brave."

"I can stay if daddy needs me to," she turned to look at Castle.

"No, baby girl. I need for you to go with Uncle Javi. Give me a kiss first?"

Ariel climbed off of Espo's lap and stepped up to her father, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Come on, Little Chica," Espo stood up and held his hand out to Ariel.

"Agent McMurphy, can you give them a few minutes? Kate's on the other side of that mirror and I want to make sure that Ariel doesn't hear my interview."

"Okay."

Espo walked Ariel into the ob room where she flew into Kate's arms. "Oh, you were so brave. I am so proud of you," Kate swung Ari back and forth, holding her tightly. "Now, I need for you to take your tablet," Kate retrieved the tablet from her purse, "and go sit at my desk. Daddy and I will be out in a little while."

"Come on, Ariel. We'll buy some stuff from the machines," Espo winked at Kate, who rolled her eyes at him.

Back in the interview room, Castle wearily rubbed his face. "Uh, could I have a few minutes. I have go to the bathroom and it takes me a few minutes."

"Why don't we take a 15-minute break?" McMurphy suggested.

Castle got to his feet and swung out of the interrogation room, going into the ob room where he found Kate. "Are you okay?" She walked up to him as Kevin and Gates discreetly left the room.

"I'm just tired," he sighed.

"One more time, Castle, and you never have to talk about it again. But, our daughter was a fucking rock star," she couldn't help smiling.

"I think she has more Beckett in her than either of us thought," he smiled back. "Well, I'd better go to the john before they come hunting me down."

A short time later, the usual suspects reconvened in the interrogation room. This time, McMurphy recorded the date and time of Castle's interview. "Walk us through the day of the accident, Mr. Castle."

"First off, I wish that you'd stop referring to it as an 'accident.' It wasn't an 'accident.'" Castle made air quotes with his fingers. "It was an attempted murder."

"Call it whatever you want, can you please just walk me through it?"

"It was very cold that day. Usually I'd take my son with me when I picked Ariel up at school. But I left him with my mother because it was so cold. Now I'm glad that I did. I had hired a security detail several months before. One of the guys was always at Marlowe watching over Ariel."

"Was he there the day that Tyson tried to kill you and Ariel?"

"He was there when I arrived at the school but I told him to take off."

"What was his usual routine?"

"He would follow me to the apartment or to Ariel's ballet or karate class. But like I said, I sent him home that day. For some reason, I thought it would be too cold for blood thirsty serial killers," he said sarcastically.

"I read Detective's Ryan and Esposito's report of your interview with them, so I just have a few more questions. Why didn't you tell them that you let your security detail go that day?"

"I was still doped up and it didn't come up."

"You didn't see the car approaching yours in the intersection?"

"Nope. By the time I heard brakes squealing, it was too late."

"How long do you think you were unconscious?"

"I don't know. Five minutes, maybe a little longer. I was still woozy when I heard Ariel screaming for help."

McMurphy turned off the recorder and faced Castle. "Mr. Castle, nothing that happened that afternoon was your fault."

"Are we done here?"

"Yeah."

Castle found Kate in the ob room and she followed him out toward the bull pen. They both stopped, smiling at Ariel playing with Esposito and her tablet at Kate's desk. "Hey Castle," Espo looked up when Kate and Castle approached. "I think the kid here spells better than you do."

"Well, she definitely spells better than _you _do," Castle volleyed back, removing his cell phone from his pocket and checking it.

Kate saw him frown as he checked his messages. "Castle, what's wrong? Rick?"

"Brian, it's me," Castle said into the phone. "Whoa! Slow down! What's going on? Is she okay? Brian, we'll be there as soon as we can!"

"Castle?"

"Alexis is in the emergency room with a 104 temperature. I need to get to the hospital, but Ariel—"

"Let's go!" Kate scooped Ari up. "We'll call your mother and my dad from the hospital. I can have my dad take Ari and Jack to his house or we can call my Aunt Teresa."

"Mommy?" Ari's eyes flew between her mother and father. "Is Lex okay?"

"She's going to be fine, baby. Come on, Castle!"

"Beckett, call us!" Espo called after her.

**A/N #4: It doesn't rain but it pours in my Castle universe.**

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	11. The Hits Just Keep on Coming

**DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything that you would recognize.**

**SUMMARY: The stressors just keep piling up for Castle and Kate. Castle meets Dr. Cynthia Swann for the first time.**

**A/N #1: I learned from the show 'NY Med' that New York Presbyterian Hospital has two campuses. One of them is the Weill Cornell Campus and the other is the Columbia Campus. One is on the Upper East Side of Manhattan and the other is on the Upper West Side.**

Chapter 11: The Hits Just Keep on Coming

The second that they got in the car, Castle called Martha at her acting school. "Mother, it's me. Brian just called and said that he had to rush Alexis to New York Presbyterian. She has a high fever and was complaining of severe stomach pains. He's still waiting on the ER doctor. Meet Kate and me at the Columbia Campus the second you get this."

"Castle, call Helen and tell her that we'll pick Jack up as soon as we can."

"Mommy? Is Lex all right?" Ariel whimpered from the back seat.

"The doctors are taking care of her, baby," Kate answered. "She's okay, Rick."

Castle called the babysitter, explaining what was going on and told her that someone would pick Jack up the moment that they made arrangements. Kate roared into the front of the hospital, screeching to a halt as a valet ran up to the car. She opened the back door and helped Ari out as Castle got out of the car on his side. The second the valet handed Kate a ticket, she gathered Ari up and quickly followed Castle into the emergency room entrance. "Brian!" Castle instantly spotted his son-in-law, who was pacing in front of one of trauma room doors.

"Rick, Kate! Thank god you're here," he was puzzled when he saw Ariel on Kate's hip.

"Brian, what happened?"

"Alexis has been feeling bad since Sunday night. We thought it was the flu. Her stomach was hurting and she was throwing up. But this morning she woke up and passed out on the bathroom floor. She was burning up and when she came to, she said that her stomach was hurting really bad. I thought appendicitis—"

"No. Alexis had her appendix out when she was 12," Castle disagreed.

"Yeah, she told me that. They took her right in when we got here. The doctors have been with her for about an hour."

"Mr. Abernathy? I'm Dr. Lerna" The three adults instantly turned their attention to the doctor who had just exited the trauma room. "Alexis is going to emergency surgery right now."

"What's wrong? Is she all right?"

"Mommy, why is Alexis having surgery?"

"Ari, let's let daddy and Brian talk to Alexis' doctor, okay?" Kate turned and walked away from the two men, as Castle gave her a funny look.

"Doctor, I'm Richard Castle, Alexis' father. Is my daughter okay?"

"Alexis had an ectopic pregnancy. Fortunately the tube itself hasn't ruptured, but we need to get her to surgery before it does."

"Pregnant?" Brian's knees began to buckle, but the doctor grabbed him just in time, guiding him over to a chair. "Can I see her?"

"Mr. Abernathy, time is of the essence here," the doctor looked at Castle for help.

"Brian, we'll go upstairs and wait for her there. Let me go and get Kate."

Castle hobbled over toward Kate, who was standing by the information desk with Ariel. "Why did you just walk away like that?" He hissed; his voice low enough that she was the only person who heard him.

"Because I had a five-year-old who was asking _adult _questions. How's Alexis?"

"She's on her way up to surgery. Kate, it was a tubal pregnancy. My little girl was pregnant," his eyes filled with tears.

"Oh god, Castle. Is she going to be okay?" They were still whispering, although Kate could see Ari trying to lean in to listen. "Ariel Johanna, mommy and daddy are having an adult conversation. Stop trying to listen in."

"She's on her way upstairs to surgery now. Have you called your dad about the kids?"

"Castle, I've been shuttling Ari and Jack between pillar and post for over a month now. I think I'm going to pick Jack up from Helen's and wait for word from you at home."

"You're going to go home?"

"Richard!" Martha came rushing in. "Richard, where's Alexis?"

"On her way upstairs to surgery. Brian's on his way up there. He'll explain everything. I need to talk to Kate and then I'll be up," he kissed his mother's cheek. He waited for her to leave before turning his attention back to Kate. "I can't believe that you're abandoning us."

"Hold on a minute," Kate picked Ari up and carried her over to a chair nearby. "Stay here and don't move. Do you hear me?" Ari nodded. "Rick, I'm not abandoning you. My father is at work. He gets off at 5:30. I will leave a message for him to call me when he gets home. It does no good for all of us to just sit up there and wait. You're Alexis' father. She's going to want you to be there. I will be back up here as soon as I can. All right?"

"All right," he nodded.

"Kiss Alexis for me and the kids when you see her, okay?" She pressed up on her toes, kissing him. "I love you."

"I love you, too. I'd better get upstairs."

"Say goodbye to your other daughter first," Kate motioned toward the chair where Ari was expectantly waiting.

Castle swung himself over to sit beside Ariel. "Baby girl, Lex is really sick right now. I'm going to stay here with Brian and Gram. Mommy's going to take you home so you can be with her and Jack for a little while."

"I don't like this hospital very much, daddy. Is Lex going to have one of those big tubes, too?" 

"No, baby. She's not as sick as I was. Give me a hug and a big kiss," he held out his arms, smiling when she hopped off of her chair and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Oh, you give such good hugs," he hugged her tightly. "Be good for mommy and be nice to your brother."

"I will."

"Call me, Castle," Kate told him. He nodded before grabbing his crutches and heading toward the elevators.

"This has been an awful day," Ari stated, holding her mother's hand on her way out of the hospital. Kate couldn't agree with her more.

When they got to the apartment building, Kate and Ari took the elevator to Helen's floor. She could hear the noise even before ringing the bell. Helen answered the door, wiping her hands. "Kate, how is Alexis?"

"She's very sick. Is Jack ready to go?"

Haley, Helen's six-year-old granddaughter, popped her head from behind her grandmother. "Ariel, can you stay and play? We can play school or with Barbie's."

"Kate, you should be with Mr. Rick. I was fixing the kids a snack. One more won't be a problem."

"Helen, I don't want to leave you with four kids under the age of seven," Kate argued.

"It's not a problem. Ivana is going to be home soon," Helen said, referring to her daughter and the mother of Haley and three-year-old Braxton. "A hospital is no place for children. Mr. Rick needs you with him."

"It's okay, mommy. I can help with Jack. I want to play school with Haley," Ari stared up at Kate.

"Call me if you need me to pick them up," Kate told the older woman. "I need to talk to Jack."

The little boy was playing with toy soldiers and a mix of strange looking creatures when he spotted his mother. "Mommy! Look! Cowboys and aliens!"

"I see that," Kate laughed. "Jack, Lex is very sick. I have to go to the hospital to be with daddy and her. Sissy's going to stay here with you. I want you to mind Helen."

"Daddy's going away again?" Jack's blue eyes filled with tears.

"No, Jack. Mommy and daddy are going to be home later after you're asleep."

"Everybody goes away," he began to cry.

"Jack, that hospital is scary. You don't want to go there," Ariel told her little brother. "It's going to be okay."

Kate wrapped an arm around each of her babies, and smothered their faces with kisses. "I love you two so much."

"Daddy's sad," Ari's eyes were the eyes of an older person. "I don't want daddy to be sad, anymore."

"I don't either, baby. If you get sleepy, tell Helen. Daddy and I will pick you up as soon as we can, okay?"

"Okay. Are you sure Lex is going to be okay?"

"Lex is going to be just fine. I'll give her lots of kisses from you and Jack when she wakes up."

***CCC***

"I still can't believe that Alexis was pregnant," Brian was leaning down with his hands between his knees, sitting between Rick and Martha.

"Were you trying?" Rick asked, unsure how much he really wanted to know about his daughter's sex life.

"We weren't_ not _trying. We just figured if it happened, it happened. What do I tell her, Rick? She loves Ariel and Jack. She's always talking about having our kids grow up together."

"It's going to be hard, Brian. I won't lie to you about that. Right after Kate and I got engaged, she got pregnant. She lost the baby a few weeks later. Sometimes I still see the hurt in her eyes when I know she's thinking about that lost baby."

"Do you still think about that lost baby?"

"Sometimes. Sometimes when I'm watching Ariel and Jack, I wonder if it would've been a boy of a girl. But thinking about what could've been doesn't help anybody, Brian. I learned with Kate to talk about the miscarriage when she wanted to talk about it, and to leave it alone when she didn't."

"Alexis is so young, Brian," Martha added, taking the young man's hand and squeezing it. "She's going to heal quickly and then you can try again."

"Mother, you're not helping," Castle shot Martha a warning look.

"Hey," the three of them looked up in surprise when Kate stepped up, holding a cardboard holder with four cups of coffee. "Has there been any word?"

"No, not yet," Castle accepted one of the cups of coffee that Kate passed out. "Where are the kids?"

"Helen offered to keep them. Her daughter's going to be home to help her out. Castle, can we go somewhere and talk?"

"When we get home, Kate."

"Mr. Abernathy?" Dr. Lerner came out of the double doors of the operating suite. "Alexis is out of surgery. There were no complications and she's resting comfortably. She'll be moved to a room in 45 minutes and you can see her then."

"Doctor, was she able to keep the fallopian tube?" Kate asked, knowing that Brian wouldn't know to ask that question.

"Yes, there was no rupture. She can try to conceive again in six to eight weeks."

"Thanks, Kate," Brian gave her a small smile. "It wouldn't have occurred to me to know what questions to ask."

"I know," Kate smiled back. "Castle, did you want to call Meredith?"

"I'll let Alexis make that decision. Kate, thank you for coming back."

"Always," she smiled, her smile widening when he smiled back.

***CCC***

"Lex? Alexis? Baby?" Alexis slowly opened her eyes, smiling weakly when she saw Brian sitting there. "I was so worried about you."

"I didn't even know, Brian. I'm sorry."

"Shh. We'll just have to try again."

"What if it happens again?"

"No way," he shook his head. "The doctor said you can go home in a couple of days. I called the OCME and told them that you'd have to take a couple of weeks off. Your dad and Kate are outside."

"What time is it?"

"Why? Do you have a hot date or something?" Brian joked, causing Alexis to smile.

"Only with you."

"It's a little after eight," he glanced at his watch.

"Let me see dad and Kate," she licked at her dry lips. "Then I want all three of you to go home. I'm really tired."

"Okay," he stood up and gently kissed her forehead. "Lex? I love you."

"I love you, too."

Alexis meant to just close her eyes for a second, but when she opened them again; her dad and Kate were standing at her bedside. "Hey, pumpkin," Castle gently kissed her. "We won't stay long."

"Good, because I want you to go home and take care of yourself. I'll be out of here in a couple of days. How was the interview? That _was _today, wasn't it?"

"The interviews went great," Kate smiled at her. "Ari was a trooper."

"That's because she has Rodgers and Beckett blood in her veins," Alexis smiled before wincing in pain.

"We're going to let you get some rest. Call us if you need anything or have Brian call us," Castle told her as she nodded. "I love you."

"I love you both, too."

"These are from the kids," Kate kissed both of her cheeks. "We'll come by to see you in the morning."

"Do you think you can bring me some decent food?" Alexis' words were starting to slur.

"We'll smuggle something in," Castle promised her.

"Richard, how is she?" Martha pounced on them the second they exited Alexis' room.

"She's very sleepy. Why don't you go in and tell her goodnight?" Castle suggested.

Alexis was almost asleep when she felt her grandmother's hand on her brow. "Hi, Gram."

"How are you feeling, kiddo?" Martha sat on the edge of Alexis' bed.

"I don't know. I haven't had a chance to process it, yet. Are you going home?"

"Not if you don't want me to," Martha declared.

"I just don't want to put more worry on daddy right now. He and Kate have been through so much. I feel like I'm adding to it," Alexis sighed as she fought to keep her eyes opened.

"Alexis, you don't need to worry about that right now. Right now, you need to rest and worry about yourself. Do you think that you can do that?"

"I'll try," she reached for her grandmother's hand as her eyes fluttered closed.

"Goodnight, my sweet girl."

***CCC***

"I wish daddy could carry me," Ari whined as she got on the elevator with her parents and brother to go upstairs.

"Ariel, you're a big girl. You need to walk," Castle told her, as he leaned forward to press the button for the loft. He smiled at Kate who had a soundly sleeping Jack on her shoulder. "You can go to sleep the second you get in your bed."

"I was already asleep and you woke me up," the little girl accused, leaning against the elevator wall.

"That's because mommy couldn't carry both you and Jack," Castle explained.

The two adults and the very sleepy five-year-old got off of the elevator when it stopped on their floor. Ariel huffed in irritation when her father fumbled for the keys before finally managing to unlock the door. "Why don't you go and take a shower while I get them into bed?" Kate suggested. "Ari, get into your pajamas while I'm putting your brother to bed."

After changing Jack into a clean diaper and his pajamas, Kate went next door to Ari's room, smiling at the sight of her daughter, half-dressed and sound asleep on top of her covers. Kate removed her shoes and socks, pulled a pair of pajamas bottoms on her before buttoning the shirt that Ari had changed into before losing the fight against exhaustion. She then lifted her up and placed her under the covers, making sure she had her Raggedy Ann doll before turning on her night light and kissing her goodnight.

When she walked back downstairs, she made sure the doors were locked and the lights were turned off before going into hers' and Castle's bedroom where she found her husband just sitting on the bed, staring at his hands. "Alexis looked so young and so scared," his voice was barely above a whisper.

"That's because she is young and she probably is scared," Kate sat beside him. "Alexis is in excellent hands, Rick. Brian loves her and when the time is right, they'll try again."

"Why did you come back?"

"Because Alexis is my daughter, too. I was wrong to leave you alone when you needed me. I was selfish and I'm sorry."

"It must've been awful when I was in the hospital."

"I always felt torn in two. When I was with you, I felt like I was neglecting the kids, and when I was with the kids, I felt like I was neglecting you. I just felt like I was constantly pawning the two of them off on somebody, especially poor Jack. Then when I was with them, I was spoiling them like crazy to make up for not being with them."

"Welcome to the wonderful world of full-time single parenting," he smiled ruefully at her. "It's not as easy as it looks in the brochures, is it?"

She laced her fingers with his and leaned her head on his shoulder. "I'll be glad when that damn cast comes off of your leg so that we can take a shower together."

"I was thinking," he rubbed her knuckles. "I get the casts off around the first of February. I think that we should go away somewhere for Valentine's Day. Just the two of us. No kids, no mothers, no work. Just us."

"Where?"

"How about Bermuda? A few days in the sun could be just what we both need."

"Bermuda sounds wonderful," she kissed his bicep. "So, are you okay?"

"It's been one hell of a day. Ariel was so awesome today."

"Yeah, she was," Kate agreed.

"I can't believe that I was almost a grandfather," his eyes misted over.

"Rick, Alexis is okay," Kate assured him once again as he broke down sobbing in her arms. "Shh, it's okay. Let it out, babe. I've got you." After he was cried out, she kissed his wet eyelids and then captured his lips in a sweet kiss. She then reached down to the side of the bed and handed him his plastic waterproof boot. "Go take a shower."

"I'm getting a migraine," he complained.

"I might have a cure when you get out. Go take a shower," she repeated, kissing him once again.

"I'm not sure giving me a blow job is going to help my headache."

"That's not what I have in mind, although I have lots of plans for the night that cast comes off," she gave him a seductive smile. "Shower, Castle."

While he was in the shower, she changed into a pair of sleep shorts and one of his t-shirts, inhaling the clean scent of it. Over the past nine years, wearing his shirts had always been a source of comfort for her. It had started the first night they'd ever slept together. She remembered when she'd been huge with both Ari and Jack when his good dress shirts were the only things that would fit because she hated the way that she looked in maternity clothes.

After getting dressed, she sat up against the headboard and placed one of her pillows across her lap. Castle came out of the bathroom, wearing a pair of black boxers and a Batman t-shirt. "Lie down with your head in my lap," she instructed him. He made himself comfortable with his head in her lap as she began lightly massaging his scalp. "Your hair is starting to grow back in nicely."

"Another week or so and I'll go back to Giorgio or Jane to get it styled. Oh, you have truly magical fingers," he groaned.

"So do you," she teased. "Now be quiet."

The quiet in the bedroom combined with Kate's fingers gentle on his forehead and scalp relaxed Castle. He stilled her fingers and rolled over, wrapping his arms around her and the pillow in her lap. Kate let her fingers trail from the back of his head down to his shoulders and back. Lying down on her own remaining pillow, she somehow managed to wrap herself around him, quickly falling asleep.

***CCC***

Thursday morning, after taking Ari to school and Jack to the sitter, Castle and Kate went to the hospital to visit Alexis. When they walked in they stopped in the doorway and looked over at the bed where they saw Brian asleep in a chair on one side of the bed and Martha asleep in a chair on the other side. "I didn't know Martha stayed here all night," Kate whispered. "I just assumed she'd gone to her school this morning."

Alexis opened her eyes, smiling at her father and stepmother. "I asked her to stay. I wanted you to go home and be with the kids."

Martha raised her head up when she heard Alexis speak. "Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?"

"I need to pee," she complained. "Gram, Kate, can you help me?"

"Sweetie, are you sure it's okay for you to get out of bed?" Castle asked, his voice raised in alarm.

"Dad, they made me get up and walk last night. It's okay, but could somebody please hurry before I wet the bed?" Alexis managed to sit up and slowly swung her legs over the side of the bed, wincing when Martha and Kate supported her on either side.

The two women waited outside of the bathroom door waiting for Alexis. Her face was pale when she emerged. "Alexis are you okay?" Castle asked as his daughter got back into bed.

"Lex?" Brian looked at his wife.

"I'm okay," she forced a smile. "Uh, do you guys mind if I talk to Kate alone for a few minutes?"

"We'll be outside," Brian kissed her before leading her father and grandmother from the room.

"I don't want to pile more stuff on my dad," Alexis pleated the sheet in her fingers. "How is he?"

"He cried last night, but so did I. Your dad's going to be all right. He's so much stronger than you give him credit for."

"I know," Alexis smiled. "When I was six, my mom was supposed to have come to New York for my birthday. When she didn't show up, as usual, my dad told me that I'd just have to get used to him being mom and dad. He told me that he was a one-man show. Kate, when do you get over it?" Her voice caught, her eyes the bleakest that Kate had ever seen.

"You don't," Kate answered her honestly, covering Alexis' hand with her own. "Even now I sometimes think about the fact that Ari and Jack should have an older brother or sister. Alexis, I'll tell Brian the same thing that I'm about to tell you. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to cry for months."

"Kate, I didn't even know that I was pregnant," huge tears began sliding down Alexis' face. "How could I _not _know? I feel so guilty."

"And that's okay, too. Alexis, you didn't do anything wrong. I know that's the last thing that you want to hear. At least that's how I felt when it happened to me."

"Did getting pregnant with Ariel help?"

"Yeah, it did," Kate smiled, although there were other circumstances surrounding Ariel's conception. Circumstances that Kate tried to no longer think about. "But do you know something else that helped? Talking to your dad. Letting him comfort me and I also comforted him. Brian's hurting too, sweetie."

"I don't know what to say to him."

"When you get home, just sit down with him. You'll figure it out, Alexis."

"Thank you, Kate," Alexis reached out to Kate, who embraced her. Suddenly, Alexis pulled away in a panic. "Oh my god! Rook! He's all alone—"

"Alexis, it's okay," Kate quickly assured her. "Brian called his parents. They took Rook to their house. You can pick him up when you get out of here tomorrow."

"Good," Alexis let out a deep breath.

***CCC***

That night, Kate was cleaning up after dinner while she watched Castle playing with Jack, balancing the small boy on his uninjured foot. This was a game that Castle often played with both kids, although Kate could see that Ari was sitting on the floor watching her father and brother at play. "What do you say, Kate? I think that Jack and I are almost ready to audition for 'America's Got Talent,'" Castle grinned.

"Rick, you're going to get him so excited that he won't go to sleep. Come on, Danger Boy, kiss daddy goodnight," Kate walked into the living room and scooped Jack up, as he screamed in protest. "You too, Ari. It's time for bed."

"You don't want to be part of our act, Ariel?" Castle teased. "Don't tell me that Howard Stern intimidates you."

"Goodnight, daddy," Ariel kissed her father on the cheek. "Is Lex really coming home tomorrow?"

"Yes, but we're going to give her a couple of days to rest. We'll go over Sunday and order pizza. Okay?" Castle smiled as Ariel slowly smiled back.

"Come on, Ari," Kate urged her. "Are we reading Dr. Seuss tonight?"

"'Green Eggs and Ham!'" Ari chimed in.

"No, 'Fox in Socks,'" Jack argued.

"We'll decide upstairs."

While Kate was upstairs with the kids, Castle got out of his chair and went into the kitchen to get his pain pills. He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and quickly downed the pain pill. He went back to his chair and settled into it, wondering what his therapist was going to be like. He wondered what her approach would be. He wondered if he'd hate it as much as he'd hated going after his divorce from Meredith.

Later, after they were in bed, Castle turned toward Kate. "I'm going to call the car service to take me to my appointment in the morning. You should stay here and spend some time with Jack."

"I'd like to meet your therapist."

"I know, but I think for the initial meeting, I should meet her alone."

"Okay. Maybe Jack and I can have crafts day. He loves it when we play in clay and paint."

"He loves it when he can make a mess and get away with it," he grinned in the darkness.

***CCC***

Dr. Cynthia Swann's office was housed in an office building on Fifth Avenue. Castle got out of the Town Car at the curb, instructing the driver to pick him up in an hour. He went into the building and took the elevator up to the 38th floor. He easily found her office and walked in, giving his name to the receptionist. Within a few minutes, a door opened and a woman in her early 40's with shoulder length dark hair stepped out. "Mr. Castle? I'm Dr. Swann. Please come in." Castle swung forward on his crutches and she closed the door behind them. "I'm glad to be able to meet you. I'm a fan of your work. What brings you to see me this morning?"

"I'm not sure where to start," Castle stammered.

"Well, the beginning is always a good place," she smiled.

**A/N #2: We'll get more into Castle and Dr. Swann in upcoming chapters.**

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	12. What Makes Castle Tick?

**DISCLAIMERS: I don't own anything that you'd recognize.**

**SUMMARY: Castle begins seeing Dr. Swann.**

**A/N #1: I know that Chapter 11 wasn't the best thing I've ever written. I promise that this chapter will make up for that. **

**A/N #2: Watched a Molly Quinn interview that I wish I had avoided. That's all I'm gonna say.**

Chapter 12: What Makes Castle Tick?

"I take it that those casts you're sporting have something to do with why you're here," Dr. Cynthia Swann sat down in an armchair, facing her patient.

"I was in an accident on the 19th of December. My five-year-old daughter was also in the car and she was abducted by the man who caused the accident."

"Was she recovered safely?"

"Yeah," Castle examined his cuticles instead of looking at the therapist.

"So, tell me why you're here? Was seeing a therapist your idea or did someone convince you that maybe you needed some help?"

"My wife suffers from PTSD and I've watched her enough to realize that maybe I should see someone before I hit rock bottom."

"Have you seen a therapist before?"

"Yes, over 20 years ago when my first marriage fell apart. I was raising my four-year-old daughter alone and felt like I was in over my head."

"Did it help?"

"No, not really," Castle smiled a thin smile. "I eventually figured it out on my own."

"But you're not so sure that you can 'figure it out' by yourself this time," Dr. Swann guessed.

"I don't feel the same way that I did before the accident."

"What do you mean?"

"Before the accident, I was always joking around, playing with my kids, and being affectionate with my wife. Now, I feel like I'm trying to distance myself from everything around me."

"It's possible that you are. Therapy is a process, Mr. Castle. Before we get into the root of why you're here, let's explore what led you to this point in your life. Reading your family history, I see that for your father, you wrote down 'complicated.' What do you mean by that?"

"I didn't officially meet my father until I was 43 years old, although he said that he saw me for the first time when I was 10. I've only seen him a handful of times since our first meeting. Each time I've met him he has used a different name. I'm not even sure what his real name is."

"That sounds very clandestine."

"You have no idea."

"How do you feel about not knowing your father's real identity?"

"Before I actually met him, I'd imagined all kinds of scenarios for what he did for a living. My oldest daughter and I even fantasized about it one time when she was doing a family tree project for school. We joked that he could've been an astronaut, a spy, or even the inventor of canned whipped cream."

"You said that you have a young daughter."

"Yes. Ariel's five and I have a two-year-old son named James Jackson, Jack for short."

"Has your father been around any of your family?"

"I don't understand why you're asking me questions about a man that I barely know," Castle was confused. He thought these therapy sessions were supposed to be about him, not his father. Next she'd be asking questions about his mother.

"Because by knowing how you feel about him and his relationship with the people that you love, you can learn more about yourself."

"He's been around my children. My oldest daughter, Alexis, knows who he is. But it's hard to explain who he is to the younger kids. He comes in like the wind, and disappears just as quickly. I don't want to confuse them. They already have one grandfather that they adore. I don't want to have to explain when this mysterious man is going to return to see them."

"How does your mother feel about the fact that you're hiding the identity of your children's grandfather from them?"

"When I was a little boy and I asked about my father, my mother told me that she loved a whole lifetime in one night. I didn't understand what she meant by that until I was much older. When he's around and I see him with my mother, I can see how much she cares about him. Then I see how hurt she is when he leaves again. She was fully in agreement with my decision not to tell Ariel and Jack who he is. She loves her grandchildren and hates seeing them hurt."

"How was it growing up with just your mother?"

"My mother is an actress," Castle smiled. "She's eccentric and of course very theatrical. There are times when she gets on my last nerve, and I'm sure that I do the same to her. But I have no doubt that she loves me very much and I feel the same about her. She made sure that I got the best education that she could afford and that I never wanted for anything, even if it meant that she went without. I think if it weren't for my mother, I never would've become a writer."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I was alone a lot, or with nannies," he rolled his eyes at the memory of the parade of women who cared for him over the years. "I learned to pay attention to my surroundings, especially to people, places, and things. I'd make up stories in my head about the people that I'd see in the subway, or at a restaurant. My mother thought my little tales were hilarious, so she encouraged me to start writing my thoughts down on paper."

"Did your mother marry while you were growing up?"

"Many times. I always wanted that perfect family. Me, my mom, a dad, a house in the suburbs."

"I think every child wants that. Do you have fond memories of any of your stepfathers?"

"No," he was quick to shake his head. "Most of them didn't stick around long enough for me to get too attached. And the ones that did stick around weren't always the nicest of men. My mother sent me to boarding school to get me away from them."

"They were abusive to you?"

"Verbally abusive." For some reason, the memory caused tears to prick behind his lids. He quickly swiped at his eyes. "If any of them had ever laid a hand on me, my mother would've ripped them a new asshole."

"Well, our time is up for today. I would like to see you again on Monday at the same time. Would that be all right with you?"

"Yeah, I guess," Castle struggled to his feet.

"It was nice to meet you, Mr. Castle," she walked over and shook his hand.

***CCC***

Kate and Jack were at the dining table which had been covered with white butcher paper. Both of them were wearing smocks and were covered in splotches of paint. "Jack, let's make something to take to Lex on Sunday. Let's make a drawing of your hand prints. Do you want to do that?" Kate laughed at her son, who had streaks of paint on his chubby cheeks and in his hair.

"How do I do that?"

"Hold on and I'll show you," Kate poured some yellow paint on a paper plate before getting out a sheet of white paper. "Press your hands in the plate." Jack did as she instructed. She then took his wet hands and pressed them to the paper. "Now I'm going to put my hands prints on it." Kate covered her hands in paint before putting them to the paper. "When daddy and Sissy get home, we'll put their hands on the paper, too."

"Can we play Super Heroes now?"

"As soon as we clean up and you have a bath."

"No bath, mommy," he whined, sticking out his lower lip.

"Little man, you are covered in paint. Come on, help mommy clean up and then you can have a bath before daddy gets home."

"Daddy have ouchie?"

"No, sweetie. Daddy doesn't have any more ouchie's. Come on, let's clean up."

Watching Jack help her with the clean up, Kate worried about her small son. She'd noticed that every time Castle left the loft for even a short time now, Jack always asked if his daddy had a boo-boo or an ouchie. While Jack wanted to be with his father constantly, Ari had been pulling back from him. She knew that Castle noticed, and he acted like he wasn't hurt by it, but she knew that he was. She'd heard him cry Ari's name out several times in his sleep, but whether it was from memories of the accident or their daughter's withdrawal, she didn't know.

***CCC***

When Castle entered the loft, he could hear Kate's laughter mixed in with Jack's. He walked toward their bedroom, since that's where the sound seemed to be coming from. He stopped in the doorway, smiling as his very naked son danced around the room while Kate attempted to catch him to get him dressed. Jack shrieked happily when he saw his father. "Daddy!" He ran over and threw his arms around Castle's casted leg, causing Castle to groan out loud. "You come home!"

"Jack, what have I told you about daddy's leg?" Kate gave Castle an apologetic look before walking over and removing Jack from his leg. "Hey, Castle," she leaned forward and gave him a kiss. "How was your appointment?"

"I'll tell you later. Why is Jack just now getting dressed?"

"We were painting and he was a mess," she carried Jack back over to the bed to begin the arduous task of dressing her son, which equated to dressing an octopus. "Was she at least nice?"

"I told you that we'll talk about it later," he repeated in a voice that told Kate that the discussion was over. "Have you talked to Brian or Alexis?" He walked over to the dresser and removed his cufflinks, placing them in a case.

"No, but I'm sure that she's been released by now. Why don't you try and give her a call?" She suggested, pulling a sweatshirt over Jack's head. "Jack, go play with your toys. I'll be out to play Super Heroes with you in just a little while."

"Okay. But I was careful, mommy. Daddy's leg is like a rock," Jack got off of the bed and walked over to Castle, tapping on his leg with a tiny fist.

"Jack, stop!" Castle's voice was sharp as the little boy drew back. "Do what your mother said."

"I sorry, daddy."

"I know. Just go play."

"Are you okay?" Kate asked after Jack had left the room.

"It's cold out and it makes my leg hurt."

"He's just a little boy, Rick. He doesn't know any better," she reminded him.

"Kate, we have explained to both of them repeatedly that my leg is sore," he went to the closet, coming out seconds later with a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants.

"I'm sorry. I guess that I got him a little over-excited with our painting project this morning. I thought a bath would calm him down a little before you got home. Let me fix him some lunch and put him down for a nap. Are you hungry?"

Castle sighed, knowing that he'd hurt Kate's feelings. It was written all over her face. "Kate," he grabbed her hand when she started to walk away. "Come here." He tugged her into his chest, folding both arms around her. "I'm sorry. You don't need to send Jack to his room because I'm feeling a little out of sorts."

"I just want things back to the way that they were before the accident. I want to hear you and Ari laugh again. I want my family put back together," she sniffled, burrowing her face into his chest.

"We'd better go see what Jack is up to," Castle said.

"I don't think he's climbing the shelves in your office again. I haven't heard anything crash to the floor," she smiled, as he rolled his eyes, recalling an incident from a few months before when Jack had decided to climb the bookshelves in his office, sending books and knickknacks crashing to the floor. Luckily, they'd gotten to the toddler before he'd fallen.

Fortunately, Jack was happily ensconced in a quiet corner with his action figures, making them fight some sort of battle from the sounds of it. "Jack, do you want peanut butter and jelly for lunch?" Kate called out.

"Macaroni and cheese," he called back.

"Jack, you had mac and cheese yesterday and the day before that. Why don't we have PB&J today?"

"No! Macaroni and cheese!"

"Once, when Alexis was four, she wanted fruit roll-up's for two weeks. It was right after Meredith had left and I was at my wit's end. Mother told me that sometimes I just had to pick my battles. Fighting her lunch choices wasn't worth the battle. He's two. He'll grow out of the mac and cheese stage," Castle hobbled over to his recliner.

"Speaking of Alexis, are you going to call her?"

"Later. I'm not sure what to say to her."

Kate didn't say anything further, not with Jack being in earshot. "Does it feel like it might snow some more?"

"No, but its cold enough. Bundle up when you go to pick Ariel up."

After eating lunch, Kate cleaned up and settled in a corner to play with Jack while Castle napped in his recliner. After playing with him and his action figures for a while, Kate flopped onto her back, smiling when Jack straddled her stomach. She reached her fingers under his sweatshirt and soon had him shrieking with laughter. When he stopped laughing, he looked over to where Castle was sleeping and put his tiny forefinger to his lips. "Shh. My daddy's asleep. He has bad ouchies."

"Beautiful boy, daddy's ouchies are getting better. But, he's asleep and it's time for your nap, too."

"No, mommy," he pouted, protesting when Kate wrapped her arms around him and struggled to her feet.

"Yes. Come on, we'll read Thomas and then you have to go to sleep."

"Wanna play with trains."

"You can play with trains when you wake up."

"I want Gram! You're mean!"

"Gram will be here when you wake up. So will Sissy," she carried him up to his bedroom, grabbing his Thomas the Tank Engine storybook before going over to his bed.

Kate sat at Jack's bedside after reading him a story from his book, softly stroking his hair as the little boy's eyes got heavier and heavier, and one hand wrapped around the stuffed elephant Castle had got him when he was a baby.

She was in the process of picking up Jack's toys downstairs when she heard the footrest come down on the recliner. Castle rubbed his face before focusing on her. "Why didn't you make Jack pick up his own toys before he took a nap?"

"Because I wasn't in the mood to wait for him to pick up one toy every five minutes."

"Is this what you were talking about when you said that you gave into them while I was in the hospital? Both of those kids need to learn that if they make a mess, they need to clean it up."

"What is going on with you today, Rick? Does Dr. Walker need to adjust your meds? Because I feel like you've been trying to pick a fight with me since you walked through the door."

"I don't know about this whole therapy thing," he leaned forward, running a hand through his unruly hair. "I mean, I'm not the therapy type."

"And I am?" She challenged, dropping her armload of toys into a basket in the corner. "Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to go back to Dr. Burke after my mandated therapy sessions ended? I did that because I wanted to be a better person for you! I didn't do it for me, Rick. I was perfectly happy to keep running and hiding. But you made me want to be a better person. You made me want to stop running and hiding. Now you're the one running and hiding."

"And just what am I running and hiding from, Kate?"

"Your guilt over what happened that night. You can't face up to the fact that you couldn't protect Ari. That you couldn't be the hero for her like you were for Alexis in Paris."

"That had nothing to do with Alexis and Paris."

"Bullshit! I saw the way that Alexis looked at you when she told me what had happened in Paris. She looked at you like you walked on water."

"Jack plays with me like before, Kate. Ariel acts like she's afraid of me."

"She's not afraid of you, Rick. I think she worries about causing you more pain by roughhousing. What happened with Dr. Swann?"

"Why do you go in there with one issue and they immediately want to start talking about your childhood?"

"Dr. Burke did the same thing. He explained that the way we handle things as adults sometimes goes back to things that happened when we were kids. Things that we're not often aware of. Will you do me a favor and give her a chance? I know therapy didn't work when you went through it the first time, but give Dr. Swann some time."

"There's one other thing," he gave her a sly smile, taking her hand and drawing her closer. "I'm so fucking horny that I can't see straight."

"I know that sex is kind of difficult, but we can still do _things_," she moved closer and kissed him, groaning into his mouth when he tried to deepen the kiss. "Later, Castle. We have a two-year-old upstairs at the moment."

"Spoiled sport," he chuckled, pulling back and removing his cell phone when the text alert sounded.

Kate saw his eyes darken. "Castle, what's wrong?"

He handed his phone to Kate. There was a text from Brian. **'Alexis won't stop crying. She told me that she wants her dad. Rick, can you come over?' **"I don't know what to say to her, Kate," he said when she handed his phone back to him.

"Do you remember the night when I lost the baby when I asked you to call my dad? It wasn't because I didn't want you to comfort me, because I did, but sometimes a girl just needs her dad. Even when she's not a little girl, anymore. You don't have to say anything, Rick. I don't remember if my dad said anything to me that night. I just remember that it felt so good to just have him hold me like he did when I was little. That's what Alexis needs right now. Go to her."

"What about Ariel? You'll have to take Jack with you if mother isn't home by the time she gets out of school."

"It's not a big deal, Castle. I've taken him with me before. Go and see your daughter."

Brian let Castle into his and Alexis' Townhouse half an hour later. "Thanks for coming, Rick. Alexis is in our bedroom."

Alexis was curled up on a loveseat in one corner of hers' and Brian's bedroom with the three-month-old lab puppy, Rook, curled up beside her. Her eyes were red and swollen from hours of crying. Rook's ears lifted when he heard Castle swinging in on his crutches. "Hey, pumpkin," he made his way over to the loveseat, settling on her other side. "Hey, Rook," he reached over and ruffled the puppy's head.

"Thank you for coming, daddy," she broke down in sobs, burrowing her head into her father's chest.

"Anytime, baby. Anytime," he swung his arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly.

"I don't know why I can't stop crying," she continued sobbing.

"Pregnancy hormones," he explained as she pulled back from him. "Even though the baby's no longer there, the hormones are still there. The doctor didn't explain that to you?" He asked as she shook her head. "Do you remember how emotional Kate would get at the drop of a hat when she was pregnant with Ariel and then with Jack? Your mother was the same way."

"How long will I be like this? I can't go back to work and then start crying for no reason. Lanie and Perlmutter will think I'm insane."

"After Kate lost our baby, the hormones were bad for about two weeks, and then it tapered off. Alexis, keep in mind that it's okay for you and Brian to be sad."

"I just can't believe that I didn't know."

"Alexis, listen to me. Even if you had known, there's nothing that you could've done to prevent what happened. I know that Kate blamed herself for a long time. It's just something that happened. Nobody knows why miscarriages happen. One day, you and Brian can talk about it and about where you go from here."

"The doctor said that we can try again after my next period. I'm just not sure, dad. What if it happens again?"

"You can't keep thinking like that. Did you ask the doctor about that?"

"He said it's unlikely to happen again, but he suggested that I save all of my questions for my regular doctor. I've already made an appointment with her. How did your appointment go with your therapist?" She asked, changing the subject.

"It went all right. We talked about my childhood. Maybe Monday we'll talk about your childhood," he said sarcastically.

"Dad," she rolled her eyes. "Tell me about Ariel and Jack. What have they been up to lately?"

"I think Jack and Kate were making you something this morning. He's being typical Jack, running everywhere at once. Ariel's harder to read these days. Did I make you feel better?"

"You always make me feel better," Alexis smiled, hugging Castle. "I think Rook missed me. He hasn't left my side since I got home."

"I read somewhere that our pets sense when we're having a bad day. Are we still on for Sunday?"

"Yes. I miss my whole family. I invited Brian's family, too. Is that okay?"

"As long as it's not too much for you."

"If it gets to be too much, I promise that I'll say something."

"Get some rest," he struggled to his feet, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I'll ask Brian to let me out."

Brian jumped to his feet when Castle came out of the bedroom. "Is Alexis okay? I didn't know what to do."

"You did the right thing," Castle placed a hand on the younger man's shoulder before echoing Kate's words from earlier. "Sometimes a girl just needs her daddy. She's going to be okay, Brian. Don't be afraid to let yourself grieve, too. We'll see you on Sunday. Make sure Alexis gets some rest."

"I will."

Heading back to the loft in the Town Car, he thought about what Kate had said earlier when she compared what had happened that cold December night with what had happened to Alexis in Paris years earlier. Was that really what was going on? Was he truly angry because he hadn't been able to ride in on his white horse for Ariel like he had for her older sister?

**A/N #3: It's August which means next month 'Castle' comes back on! **

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	13. Searching for that Perfect Family

**DISCLAIMERS: In a word, no.**

**SUMMARY: Castle begins to discuss his marriages with Dr. Swann, beginning with Meredith. **

Chapter 13: Searching for that Perfect Family

It was the rapid breathing that awoke Kate out of a deep sleep. She picked her head up off of the pillow and placed her hand on Castle's chest, hoping to soothe him back to sleep before he started crying out in a full-fledged nightmare. Martha had taken the children to her apartment for the weekend, allowing Kate and Castle some much needed time alone.

"No, let her go," Castle moaned in his sleep. "Get away from my baby, you son of a bitch."

"Rick," Kate whispered his name, stroking his chest. "It's all right. You need to wake up. Ari's safe. She's with your mom, remember?"

Castle's eyes slowly opened and he smiled at the sight of Kate, propped on her elbow beside him. "What would I do without you?" His voice was still thick with sleep.

"Oh, I don't know. What did you do before you had me?" She bantered back.

"I was miserable and lonely."

"You need a dry t-shirt," she got out of bed and went to his dresser drawer, coming back a few seconds later with a fresh shirt.

He sat up and pulled his shirt over his head, replacing it with the fresh one. The cast had been removed from his wrist earlier in the week and he was looking forward to Monday when the cast came off of his leg. What he wasn't looking forward to was his session with Dr. Swann. So far, they had discussed his father, his mother, and his childhood. Monday they were going to talk about his marriages. "Did I say anything?" He asked, referring to his nightmare.

"The same thing that you say every time. You're telling Tyson to let Ari go."

"How long did it take you to stop having nightmares about your shooting?"

"I still have them on occasion. It was more than a year before I stopped having them every night. I didn't dream about the shooting so much as I dreamt about you begging me not to leave you. I still dream about that. After the car wreck, when it was so uncertain whether you were going to survive, I had those dreams a lot."

Castle reached up to cup her cheek with his palm, watching her close her eyes and press into him. He pulled her down to him, letting his lips glide against hers, blistering hot. There had been a lot of heaving petting sessions in the last week, but they were refraining from having actual intercourse until the cast came off of his leg. But as Kate had told him, they could still do _things_ and they had been doing a lot of _things_. "I love you so fucking much," he whispered against her lips. "I love you more today than the day that I told you that 'I love you' for the first time."

"I love you, too. You've been there for me through the nightmares and the PTSD. Let me be there for you, okay? Because I do believe that the minister said 'For Better or for Worse.' It's not always going to be bad, Castle."

"I hope not," he was fighting to keep his eyes opened.

"Let's get some sleep," she settled down on his chest, feeling his arm tighten around her. It was only after she heard his breathing even out that she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

The next morning, Kate was in the kitchen cooking breakfast when Castle's phone rang. He smiled when he looked at the caller ID. "Good morning, Mother. Have the kids driven you crazy, yet?"

"No crazier than you did when you were their age. I was just calling to let you know that I'm taking them to Radio City after lunch, but I should be delivering them home at around five."

"I will let Kate know." He told her goodbye, and hung up, looking at Kate. "Mother will be bringing the children home at around five. She's taking them to Radio City."

"And no doubt filling them full of junk food."

"Isn't that what grandparents are supposed to do?" He smirked. "What do you want to do after breakfast?"

"Sit around, read the newspaper, do the Sunday crossword, all the stuff that we did B.K."

"B.K.?"

"Before Kids."

"Oh. Didn't we used to do most of that stuff naked and in bed?"

"We can do that, too."

Castle didn't say anything, but the huge smile that was splitting his face almost in two said more to Kate than his words ever could. She went back to making them waffles, thinking about how much she loved her adorable man-child. In the last week, his moods had shifted wildly, but she was seeing more of the pre-accident Castle than she'd seen in a long time.

After breakfast, he made room for her in his recliner as they worked on the Sunday crosswords together. But Castle found himself constantly distracted by his wife kissing on his neck. "Kate," he groaned, shifting uncomfortably under her.

"Hmm?"

"I know this is a stupid question, but what are you doing?"

"Did I ever tell you that kissing you is my favorite pastime?" She sat up, smiling at him.

"Really? Did I ever tell you that you're unbelievably cheesy, but adorable all the same?"

"Do you remember the first time you kissed me?"

"Uh, I seem to remember a kiss on the cheek before you arrested me at the New York Public Library. Are you referring to _that _kiss?"

"You smelled so good," her lips grazed his jaw, before gently sliding over his lips. "I wanted to hate you, Castle, but you didn't make it easy."

"I don't think I've abstained from sex this long since my second marriage. You do realize that when we do make love after this cast comes off that I'm probably going to come in 10 seconds like a 15-year-old schoolboy," he warned her.

"So will I. I can make myself come just by thinking about you touching me."

"Kate, you're torturing me."

"I have plans for us tomorrow night," she bit his ear lobe, feeling him harden under her. "I have plans to obliterate our first night together from your mind."

"Hey, I have extremely fond memories of that night."

"So do I," she rested her head on his shoulder, reaching for his hand and tangling her fingers in his. "Are you worried about your session tomorrow?"

"I just wonder when she's going to get to my real issues," he complained.

"Castle, one thing I learned when I was first seeing Burke is that nobody has just one issue. My issues had issues. Just roll with it, okay?"

"Okay," he kissed her once more, feeling her grab a fistful of his t-shirt in her hand. "We should put on some real clothes."

"Why? We still have three hours. Why don't you read to me? You haven't done that in a while," she got up and went into his office, returning a few seconds later with _Deadly Heat._

Kate curled back up on Castle's lap once again, being mindful of his cast as he opened the book to the first page and began to read. After about an hour, he yawned loudly. "Let's go take a nap together," he nuzzled Kate's neck as she felt heat go through her body.

"Come on," she got out of the chair and held his crutches out for him.

Castle fell asleep within moments of his head hitting the pillow, but Kate laid awake with her head on his chest, her hand on his stomach under the t-shirt that he was wearing, feeling the ripple of his abdominal muscles as he slept. She knew that she should get up and get some things done before Martha brought the kids home, but it was so pleasant just lying beside her husband, listening to his deep breathing as he slept. Before entering into this phase of her relationship with him, Kate had never enjoyed sleeping wrapped up in whoever her bed partner was. But it didn't take her long to discover that Castle loved to cuddle, and she soon learned that she also liked to cuddle. Even though their bed was a huge California King, they both could usually be found sleeping on one side or the other, close together.

After watching him sleep for a little over an hour, Kate knew that she had to get up. There were a few small chores that needed to be done, and it was easier to do them without the kids underfoot, especially Jack, who usually attached himself to his mother like a magnet. Rick mumbled in his sleep when he felt Kate getting up. "Don't get up. Stay in bed."

"I need to put a load of laundry in. Go back to sleep," she kissed his forehead.

"I want some chocolate chip cookies," he mumbled.

"Rick, you're still asleep."

"No, I'm not," he argued. "I think there are some tubes in the fridge."

"If I'm making chocolate chip cookies, I'm _not _using refrigerated dough. Go back to sleep," she repeated.

***CCC***

Kate was taking the last sheet of cookies from the oven when the door opened and Martha breezed in with Ari and Jack. "Hi, you two! How was your weekend with Gram?"

"Cookies!" Jack shouted, racing into the kitchen. "Sissy, mommy made cookies!"

"Where's Richard?"

"Taking a nap. Jack, why don't you and Sissy go wake daddy up? He's been sleeping for a long time."

"I want cookies," Jack protested.

"You can have cookies after you wake daddy up. Go on. You too, Ari."

Castle opened his eyes when he felt someone climbing on the bed. He smiled when he saw Jack crawling up the bed toward him. "Hey, buddy. What time is it?"

"The little hand is on the five and the big hand is on the 11," Ariel answered, getting on the bed with her brother.

"I guess I should get up then, huh?" He ruffled Jack's hair. "Did you have fun with Gram?"

"I got 'Star Wars' toys. Sissy got a jump rope. Mommy made cookies. Come on, daddy," Jack grabbed on his father's hand, tugging it. "Get up."

"Go tell mommy that I'll be up in a second," Jack jumped off of the bed and ran back to the kitchen. "Did you have fun this weekend, Ariel?"

"Why did you make us go to Gram's?"

"I thought you would want to go to Gram's. Didn't you have a good time? You always have fun at Gram's. She lets you play dress-up and wear makeup."

"I worried about you and mommy all weekend."

"Baby girl, mommy and I were fine. We didn't even go anywhere. We stayed right here. You know if you're scared when you're with Gram or Lex, all you have to do is call us. You can talk to us anytime you want. Okay?"

"Did you miss us?"

"I always miss you and your brother when you're not here," he smiled. "Let me get dressed and then we'll have milk and cookies. Okay?" He asked as she nodded.

After giving the kids baths, they settled into the recliner with Castle while he let Ariel read to them from one of her books. When she didn't know the word, he encouraged her to sound it out instead of automatically telling her what the word was. It was the very same way that he'd taught Alexis to read so long ago. "Miss Kathy says that Ari is the best reader in the class," Kate announced as Ari smiled proudly.

"Tomorrow night we'll be able to read in your bedroom," Castle told her as Ariel smiled. "I get the cast off in the morning."

"Is your leg still going to hurt?"

"I'm afraid so, but it'll get much better."

"I'm glad."

"I'm glad, too," Jack said.

"So am I. Now, give me a kiss and get up to bed," he kissed both kids before Kate came over and lifted Jack into her arms, smiling at Ari, who climbed over the arm of the recliner.

***CCC***

"Good morning, Mr. Castle. Are you ready to cut this cast off?" Dr. Walker entered the exam room where Castle and Kate were anxiously waiting for him.

"I've been anxious for weeks," Castle laid back on the table, clutching Kate's hand in his.

"I should warn you," Dr. Walker began as he picked up the cast saw, "your leg is going to look quite different. I'm going to give you a cane to help you walk until you become a little stronger."

Castle knew that he had two significant injuries in the middle of his thigh where the bone had come through after the accident. He'd seen them on the occasions when the cast had been changed. "Let's just do this."

A short time later, Castle sat on the edge of the exam table, gingerly bending his leg, wincing from the pain in his unused joints. "How does it feel?" The doctor asked.

"Like freedom," Castle continued bending the leg.

"You might be whistling a different tune after you finish with P.T. tomorrow. How are doing on pain medication?"

"I still have plenty."

"If you start hurting, I want you to take them. Bone pain is not something that you want to ignore."

"He'll take them," Kate assured the doctor, looking pointedly at her husband.

"I'll get your aftercare instructions," Dr. Walker stepped out of the room to let Castle get dressed.

"I think my foot got bigger," Castle complained, pulling both shoes on for the first time in almost two months.

"How does it really feel, Castle?"

"A little weird," he admitted. "I feel like I just lost 20 pounds."

Dr. Walker re-entered the room, carrying some papers in one hand and a mahogany cane in the other. "I want you to use this," he handed Castle the cane.

"I like it. It makes me look very debonair," he smiled at Kate, who simply rolled her eyes. "All I need is a top hat and a monocle."

"I want you to apply antibiotic ointment to the wounds on your leg twice a day. Keep it as dry as possible. If it gets red or starts to weep, get to the ER immediately. If you notice red streaks on your arms or legs, get to the ER immediately. Other than that, I'll see you in two weeks to see how you're coming along."

Walking out of the doctor's office, Kate placed her hand in Castle's, smiling as they walked to the elevator. "Are you going to wait while I'm with Dr. Swann?"

"Not if you don't want me to."

"I always want you to wait for me, Kate."

"Then I'll wait," she pressed her lips to his jaw.

***CCC***

"Why does it bother you to talk about your marriages?" Dr. Swann asked after Castle had settled into his chair.

"It doesn't bother me."

"Mr. Castle, my job is to read people. When we ended your session on Friday and I told you what we were going to talk about today, it was written all over you face how much you dislike the topic of your marriages."

"Well, not all of my marriages," he joked. "I love talking about marriage number three."

"How old were you when you married your first wife?"

"I was 24."

"How long had the two of you known each other?" The doctor asked, making notations in her file.

"About two months. I'm really not sure."

"So, you didn't know her well when you married?"

"I was on the West Coast promoting my first book," Castle began explaining, folding his hands in his lap. "There was a party at the Beverly Hilton and Meredith happened to be there with some people from the movie studio she was working for at the time. My agent at the time introduced us. She was fun and neither of us was attached. I invited her up to my room, and things escalated quickly after that."

"Did you stay in L.A. or did Meredith move to New York?"

"Neither. I returned to New York, and completely put Meredith out of my head until she called me about six or seven weeks later, telling me that she was pregnant and that I was the father."

"How did you feel about that?"

"Well, I was shocked and more than a little pissed off, at first. I found myself questioning if I was really the father. But the more that I thought about it, the more I realized that she was telling me that I was going to be a father, so I needed to take responsibility. I wasn't going to do the same thing to my child that my father had done to me."

"So, even if this child wasn't yours, you were going to step up to the plate because your father hadn't been there for you?"

"Growing up, I'd watch my mother bring these different men around. All that she ever wanted was to give me that perfect family. I was a child of the 70's. My world was 'The Brady Bunch' and old re-runs of 'My Three Sons' and 'The Donna Reed Show.' I made a decision long before I became a man that I wasn't going to abandon my kids. I told Meredith to come to New York and we'd get married."

"What was her reaction?"

"At first, she told me no. She kept insisting that she'd get an abortion. I couldn't let her do that. It wasn't the fault of our child that we were careless. We talked on the phone for another month or so, and she finally agreed with me."

"How was your relationship after you got married?"

"Awful," he admitted. "We didn't know each other. She wanted to get work in New York, but she soon got so big that it was hard for her to find work. We'd argue constantly. She kept threatening to go back to L.A. and have the baby there. And when the fights got really bad, she'd either threaten to have a late-term abortion or give the baby up for adoption," Castle's voice choked up as he remembered the arguments with Meredith about their unborn child's fate.

"It sounds like she wasn't ready to be a mother."

"She still isn't ready," he said under his breath, looking over to find Dr. Swann cocking her eyebrows at him. "Alexis was born in the middle of July, during one of the worst heat waves New York had been through in years. Meredith insisted on a C-section, although she'd been told by her OB/GYN that there was no reason why she couldn't have a normal delivery. She made it very clear that I wasn't wanted or needed in the OR."

"What was her immediate reaction to your daughter? Did she bond with her right away?"

"No," Castle shook his head. "I had hired a baby nurse since I knew that it would be difficult for Meredith to get around after the surgery. She held Alexis briefly before we left the hospital, but after that it was up to the baby nurse or me. Everything that I learned about caring for a newborn I learned from the nurse that I hired. She was wonderful and incredibly patient," he smiled, remembering those first few weeks of getting to know this new human being that he'd help create.

"What about your families? How did they feel about the baby?"

"My mother was very excited," Castle answered. "Meredith isn't close to her family. Her parents didn't see Alexis for the first time until she was 18 months old. She tried to make it seem like she was taking care of Alexis herself, but they could tell by the way Alexis came to me for everything that wasn't true. Alexis never has had a relationship with her other grandparents. They sent gifts and cards on holidays and birthdays, but they never really knew her."

"When did things start to disintegrate?"

"That's a good word for it. Meredith did a lot of summer stock and off-Broadway stuff after Alexis was born. Since I was home all day for the most part, it allowed me to raise her. The summer that Alexis turned four, Meredith got a bit part in a movie that was filming in Los Angeles. I arranged to rent a house in Malibu for the summer in hopes of getting some writing done. Things were really strained by then, so we both agreed that a change of scenery might help."

"What happened in Los Angeles?"

"I had gone out for the morning, leaving Alexis alone with Meredith. I had never worried about this before. While Meredith was self-absorbed, she'd never done anything to hurt or neglect our daughter. When I got home early in the afternoon, I noticed that there was a Porsche parked behind her car. When I walked into the house, Alexis was playing with a dollhouse that I'd bought her. I remember all of this like I'm watching a movie," he glanced over at the doctor.

"Memories, both good and bad are often like that. Go ahead."

"I asked Alexis where her mommy was and she told me . . . she told me that mommy and her friend were upstairs wrestling in our bedroom. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was talking about. I took the stairs two at a time and just threw the bedroom door opened. And there they were; my wife and some strange man naked and screwing in the middle of our bed." Castle chuckled softly before he continued. "The guy jumped out of bed and grabbed his clothes from the floor. I asked him to please at least put on his pants before he went downstairs so that my daughter wouldn't see him naked."

"What did Meredith say after her visitor left?"

"I didn't give her a chance to say anything. I told her to go into Alexis' room and pack her things. I grabbed my suitcase from the closet and just started throwing my things into it. I told her that I was taking Alexis back to New York with me and if she tried to stop me, I'd call the cops and the tabloids."

"Did Alexis say anything when you told her that you were going home?"

"No. Sadly, she wasn't even upset. Looking at my five-year-old and two-year-old, I now see that Alexis should've been more upset. There are times when Kate goes to work and my kids have a meltdown like she's never coming back. To Alexis, Meredith was the pretty lady who smelled good and brought her pretty presents to make up for not being there. Alexis called her mommy, but it was just a word."

"Who filed for divorce?"

"Meredith did. About two weeks after I'd returned to New York, I got served. To give her credit, she didn't even fight it when I told the judge that I wanted full custody of Alexis. I offered her very generous visitation, but she rarely took advantage of it. Her idea of visitation was seeing Alexis whenever the mood struck her. Once, when Alexis was nine, she took her for lunch in Paris. After that, I made sure she didn't have access to Alexis' passport."

"What was your relationship like after the divorce was finalized?"

"It was great. It was very amicable, too amicable, according to Kate."

"Why would Kate say that?"

"Alexis contracted mono when she was a freshman in college. It was shortly after Kate and I had begun seeing each other. Alexis was supposed to be going to Paris with her mother, allowing Kate and I to have some time alone. Meredith showed up, ostensibly to take care of Alexis, but later I learned that she had a secret agenda."

"To break up you and Kate?" Dr. Swann guessed as Castle nodded. "How do the two of you get along now?"

"We're friends, but nothing more. Since Alexis' marriage, Meredith rarely even visits. When Alexis had the miscarriage, she asked for Kate's advice. It saddens me when I think of that."

"Why? It's wonderful that your daughter cares so much for her stepmother."

"It's just upsetting sometimes that some of the things Alexis has gone to her grandmother and later Kate for, she should be talking to her mother about. I did the best that I could, but it's tough to be mom and dad rolled up in one."

"Rick, at some point in the future, I'm going to want to talk to your mother, Kate, and Alexis."

"Why?" He looked terror-stricken at the thought.

"It's standard operating procedure. When we meet again on Friday, we'll move on to marriage number two. Do you ever think of keeping a journal?"

"I have a notebook that I use to jot down story ideas and observations, but I'm not a diary person," he made a face.

"In the not too distant future, we're going to start talking about the things that have brought you to me for help. I feel it would help if you'd start writing some of your thoughts down. We're done for today."

Dr. Swann followed Castle out of her office, smiling when a tall brunette stood up to meet him. Castle gave her a warm smile and a kiss before turning to face the doctor. "Dr. Swann, this is my wife, Kate."

"How do you do? I've heard a lot about you," Dr. Swann shook Kate's hand.

"That's funny, because Castle doesn't talk a lot about you," Kate smiled at her husband.

"We should go," Castle glanced at his watch. "We'll be just in time to pick Ariel up at school."

"I'll see you Friday, Rick."

Castle didn't say anything until they got on the elevator. "She wants me to keep a journal."

"Dr. Burke told me the same thing. I kept one that summer after the shooting."

"Really?" He looked at her in surprise. "Do you still have it?"

"Why? Do you want to read all of my secret thoughts from that summer?"

"Yeah, if that's all right with you. Kate, its okay if you don't want me to read it. All of that was a long time ago."

"If I find it, I'll let you read it. Does she want you to write down your thoughts about what happened with Tyson and Nieman?"

"Yeah," he huffed out his breath.

"You can do this," she squeezed his hand. "Come on, let's go pick up Ari."

"How do you feel about fooling around tonight?" He smiled at her, laughing when her cheeks turned bright pink.

**A/N: The next chapter is going to be short and full of smut. **

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	14. Reconnecting at Long Last

**DISCLAIMERS: No, the reins still haven't been turned over to me.**

**SUMMARY: Castle and Beckett finally reconnect for the first time since the accident. Rated M for obvious reasons.**

**A/N #1: To me, there is nothing more romantic than romance scenes in showers or bathtubs. In my other fan fiction universe, I got accused of using the bathtub a little too often. **

**A/N #2: This one is going to be fairly short and is a bridge before I get back into the meat of the story.**

Chapter 14: Reconnecting at Long Last

Kate was curled up on the end of the sofa, trying to focus on the book in her hand while she waited for Castle to come back downstairs, where he was reading to the kids before they went to sleep. It was almost as if Ari and Jack knew that their parents wanted them to go to sleep quickly, because they had fought going to bed. Part of the reason was because their father had gotten them worked up by playing with them on the floor, delighting in the fact that he could play with them the way that he had before the accident. Naturally the kids had taken full advantage.

It had taken an hour to get them to settle down and even then they hadn't wanted to go to sleep. It had taken Castle promising to read not just one, but two stories before he'd finally managed to get them upstairs to bed.

Now he was upstairs while Kate was anxiously awaiting his return. While they had used fingers, tongues, and one hot night some toys, this would be the first night they'd actually be able to have intercourse since that awful night. She heard footsteps on the stairs, and smiled when she saw her ruggedly handsome husband descending the steps. Her smile broadened when he walked over and collapsed on the sofa, throwing his head back. "Are they asleep?" She pressed herself close to him.

"Okay, so I got them a little riled up. I'd forgotten how much fun it was to be able to get on the floor and play with them. I'd also forgotten how exhausting it was."

"Come on, I have a cure," she stood up, pulling on his hand.

"Does this cure involve sex?" He waggled his eyebrows at her and making her laugh. God, he loved listening to her laugh.

"I haven't shared a shower with you in a month and a half, Castle. Take a shower with me. I promise that there will be sex," she bent down and whispered to him.

Showering with Beckett always reminded Castle of their first time together. After they'd made love that first time, they had taken a shower together, chasing the droplets of water down each other's bodies with their lips and tongues, which had led to round two. Since then, showers and baths together had become a ritual between the two of them.

"Lead me," he allowed her to haul him off of the sofa and through their bedroom to the ensuite.

Tucking her bottom lip between her teeth, she reached into the waistband of Castle's jeans, tugging his shirt loose. She then pressed up on her toes, planting a soft kiss to his lips before sliding her fingers up to unbutton his shirt. After opening his shirt open, Kate moved closer, kissing his warm, bare chest, smiling at the sound of his breath speeding up. She traced her fingers along the small scar left by his thoracotomy. "Do you mind me touching it?" She remembered how she'd felt about her scars when they'd first started sleeping together.

"No," he put his hand over hers, dipping his head to slide his lips over hers, drinking her in.

She slid her arms around his waist, moving closer to him as they continued kissing in the middle of the bathroom floor with Bobo Fett keeping watch over them. She then dropped her hands to the fly of his jeans, reaching in to unbutton his fly, and then slowly pulling down the zipper. When his jeans fell to his feet, Castle placed his hands on Kate's shoulder, stepping out of the jeans. He groaned when he felt Kate palm him through his boxers. "Kate, please," he gently bit her lower lip, and then soothing the bite with his tongue.

Hooking her fingers into the elastic of his boxers, Kate yanked them down his hips, leaving them in a puddle at his feet. He stepped out of them before turning his attention on undressing her. She closed her eyes, sighing when his lips pressed against her pulse point. She felt him lifting her t-shirt over her head and felt it fall behind her before he reached for the front clasp of her bra, unhooking it and sliding it off of her arms, as it also fell behind her on the floor. Reaching into her pajama pants, he slowly pulled them down her long legs, smiling at the huge smile that lit up her face.

Her heart felt like it was going to fly out of her chest from the sheer anticipation of Castle removing her underwear. Finally, she felt him sliding them down as they fell at her feet. Grinning widely, she carefully stepped out of them and watched him step into the shower and turn the water on, adjusting the temperature before turning and holding his hand out to her. Stepping into the shower with him, she held her face up to the spray, smiling at the feel of Castle's arms holding her close to him. Hooking her arms around his neck, she brought his head down and kissed him, feeling his arms tighten around her as she rose up on her tiptoes in order to deepen the kiss. "I've missed this," she whispered against his mouth.

Her breath hitched as she felt Castle's lips leave her mouth, traveling down to her neck, chasing the water droplets exactly as he had that stormy night eight years before. Warmth pooled between her thighs at the feeling of Castle's lips and tongue on her wet skin. "You taste so good," he murmured against her collarbone.

"Aren't we supposed to be getting clean?" She asked, her hands clasping his head closer to her.

"We will," his lips moved down to the space between her breasts, where he lapped at the drops that were clinging to the small puckered scar. "I feel like I haven't worshipped your body in ages."

She felt like telling him that he worshipped her every time that he looked at her, but she also knew how despondent he'd been since the accident. How he felt that he was trapped by the cast on his leg.

He turned so that she was facing away from the spray of water still coming from the shower and backed up until he felt his knees hit the back of the bench that he'd had installed in the shower when Kate had been pregnant with Jack to make it easier for her to shower. He sat on the bench, pulling her between his legs.

Kate bent down, capturing his lips with her own. They had used the bench many times to make love, but she was concerned about his leg. "Castle, are you sure?"

He moved his fingers between her legs, feeling how wet she was. "Kate, I need you. If it gets too painful, I'll let you know. Please?"

Kate reached down and stroked him, carefully straddling his legs, positioning herself over him, groaning at the feeling of him rubbing her swollen flesh before sinking down onto him as they both groaned out loud at the feeling of him filling her, stretching her. "Castle," his name came out of her mouth as a breathy moan.

Their mouths fused together as Kate began to move up and down on him, slowly at first, but gradually faster as their passion grew hotter. The shower filled with steam, the running water covering up the sounds that they were making as they worked toward a climax. Castle moved his fingers down to where they were joined, circling her erect clit, feeling her tighten around him, listening to her whimper into his mouth.

Kate felt Castle get bigger inside of her as his climax approached. She placed her fingers on top of his, pressing against them as she felt her own orgasm beginning to crash down on her. "Yes, Castle," she hissed. "Harder! Faster! Oh, shit!"

Feeling her inner muscles clamping around him, Castle let go. He let out a shout as he emptied himself inside of Kate. He wrapped his arms around Kate, feeling her collapse on his shoulder. "That was mind-blowing," he whispered into her neck.

After they washed each other, they got out of the shower, slowly drying each other off before they made their way to their bed. They lay cuddled close together, sharing slow, soft kisses, and gentle touches. Kate felt sleepy and very, very loved. She found herself drifting off to sleep to the feel of Castle's lips and hands on her body.

But she became instantly awake when she felt her husband sliding down the bed, kissing her entire body along the way. "Castle, what're you doing?"

"Beckett," his voice was muffled under the sheets, "how many times do I have to tell you that if you have to ask, I'm obviously not doing it right?"

Kate found herself at a loss for words at the feel of Castle's hands on her breasts, rolling her nipples between his thumb and forefinger as his lips grazed the insides of her thighs. She threw her arms over her head and closed her eyes, letting exquisite sensation take over her senses. Castle was an excellent lover, but he was extremely good with his lips and tongue. "Mmmm," she moaned at the first touch of his tongue on her.

Under the sheets, Castle brought Kate to the brink of orgasm several times, as she writhed under his hands. He pulled back slightly, blowing warm air on her clit as she moaned loudly. The sounds she was making were sexy as hell and he moved back up her body, aligning himself with her before slowly sliding into her. She opened her eyes, smiling up at him, wrapping her legs around his ass as they moved together.

Their lovemaking the second time was slower than round one in the shower. Their lips met in a slow lazy dance of tongues as Castle slowly thrust into her, feeling her meet him thrust for thrust. Their second orgasms were much quieter than round one. Kate cried out into his mouth just second before she felt him come inside of her. "You're definitely back," she stroked her fingernails down his back, smiling when she felt his muscles ripple under her fingers.

"I've missed this, Kate," he rose up, planting a soft kiss to her lips before rolling off of her onto his back.

"How's your leg?"

"Kate, stop worrying. I'm fine," he sounded sleepy.

"I can't help it," she curled up against him. "I don't want to break you the first time we have sex."

"Oh, if you broke me, it would be so worth it," he looked at her and grinned, laughing when she rolled her eyes at him. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Sweet dreams," she brushed an errant lock of hair from his eyes.

**A/N #3: And there you have it. I'm not sure if there will be any more smut scenes in this story. But if there is, it won't be until much later.**

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	15. Slower than Molasses in January

**DISCLAIMERS: Nope, still not mine.**

**SUMMARY: Castle begins to feel frustrated with the direction his therapy is going in while Kate begins to investigate the disappearance of two young girls.**

**A/N #1: I hope that we learn more about Castle's two marriages in the upcoming season. From the way things sounded in 1x01 'Flowers for Your Grave,' I'm assuming that Castle and Gina hadn't been divorced very long when he met Beckett for the first time.**

**A/N #2: I'm going to start a crime fic in this chapter to give Kate something to do besides worry about Castle. After all, she is a homicide detective. This case is going to be based on something that happened here in San Antonio in 1987.**

Chapter 15: Slower than Molasses in January

"Are you sure that you're okay with me going back to work tomorrow?" Kate was lying on the sofa with her head in Castle's lap.

"Kate, I've got things under control. If I have problems, I promise that I will call or text you. I'm going to take Jack to Helen's, go to my P.T. and therapy appointments, meet you for lunch, and then go to pick Ariel up at school. I will then come home, help her with her homework if she has any, play with them and then cook dinner. Just like things used to be."

"Okay," she was quiet as his fingers tangled in her hair.

"Of course," he helped her so that she was sitting in his lap, "if you don't want to go back to work, my offer still stands for me to be your sugar daddy." His lips quirked up at the corners as he smiled at her.

"No, thanks," she kissed him before resting her head on his shoulder.

"When you went to Burke for the first time, how long did it take before you started talking about why you were really there?"

"A while. Castle, let Dr. Swann do her job. I know that you want to talk about Tyson and that night, but let her lead you into that. I know that it seems to you that she doesn't know what she's doing, but she does."

"I just don't see what my marriages and my childhood have to do with a madman trying to destroy our family," he sighed.

"I know that you don't right now, but it will start to make sense. Take it from somebody who's been there. Come on, let's go to bed."

The next morning could best be described as organized chaos. Kate was trying to get Ari ready for school while Jack raced around the living room, shouting at the top of his lungs. "Jack, stop!" Kate scolded him as she tried to finish with Ari's hair.

"Don't go to work, mommy! Stay home!"

"I can't stay home, little man. Ari, get your backpack and then say goodbye to your daddy," Kate instructed her.

Castle was sitting at his desk staring at his laptop when Ariel came running in. "Time for school already?" He reached for her. "Have a good day."

"Are you going to write?"

"I don't have any ideas right now," he cuddled her close to him as they both stared at the desktop background of their family.

"Ari, come on, we've got to go," Kate walked over to the desk, leaning down to kiss Castle. "I'll see you at lunchtime."

"Okay," he smiled before kissing Ariel. "Have a good day, baby girl. Send your brother in here on your way out. Kate, be careful."

"I will. I love you and I'll see you in a few hours," she smiled before leading Ari from the room.

He heard her telling Jack goodbye before the loft door opened and closed. Seconds later, Jack toddled into the office carrying his action figures and climbed onto his dad's lap. "Angry Birds?" He smiled up at his father.

"Yeah, buddy. We can play Angry Birds for a little while," Castle ruffled the little boy's tousled hair before bringing the game up on his computer.

***CCC***

"Beckett, welcome back!" Esposito called out to Kate when he saw her coming around the corner and walking toward her desk.

"Thanks," she began her day by putting her elephants and family pictures on their usual spots on her desk and booting up her computer.

"How's Castle?" Ryan asked as both men came to her desk.

"He's great now that he's on both feet again," she smiled as her cell phone rang. "Beckett! Okay," she grabbed her notepad and a pen. "We're on it." She hung up and looked at her team. "We've got a fresh one."

When they arrived at the neat brick house, they saw that the coroner's van and a couple of patrol cars were already on the scene. Kate flashed her badge at one of the uniforms keeping guard outside of the front door and stepped inside where Lanie was crouched over a huge puddle of blood. "Hey, Lanie. Where's the victim?"

"Good question," Lanie stood up. "Because she sure as hell isn't here."

"Who called it in?"

"Sharon Newburg," LT answered, pointing to a distraught woman standing near the fireplace talking to another uniformed officer. "She came home after working the nightshift at Roosevelt Hospital. When she saw the blood, she called 9-1-1. She thinks that her daughters have been kidnapped."

"How exactly is this a homicide?" Kate was confused. Sure, they had a huge pool of blood, but there was no body.

"With the amount of blood that we've found throughout the residence, I'm sure that we're dealing with a homicide," Lanie answered. "There's more blood in one of the bedrooms."

"Check out the rest of the house," Kate ordered the boys. After they went to do her bidding, she walked over to the fireplace and showed her badge to Sharon Newburg, a woman in her mid-40's wearing nurses' scrubs, her name lanyard still hanging around her neck. "Mrs. Newburg? I'm Det. Kate Beckett, NYPD. Can you walk me through what happened?"

"Why isn't anybody looking for Denise and Jackie? I've already called their schools and was told that they hadn't shown up," The woman asked hysterically.

"Mrs. Newburg, I promise that we're trying to figure out what happened. Can you walk me through this morning?"

"I work the nightshift in the maternity ward at Roosevelt Hospital. Denise always makes sure that Jackie gets on the school bus in the morning before she drives herself to school. I talked to Denise just after six to make sure they were both awake. She told me that she was making Jackie's lunch. When I came home at 7:45, I saw all of the blood and knew something was wrong. I think it was my husband, Art."

"Have you been having marital problems?"

"Charges were filed against him three months ago for sexual assaulting both girls. He was due to go to trial in a couple of months. But that's not why I suspect him. When I checked the garage to see if Denise's car was here, his car was parked in her spot in the garage."

"What does Denise drive?" Kate asked.

"A 2008 Toyota Camry. It's silver with some slight damage to the back end."

"How old are the girls?"

"Denise is 17 and a junior at Madison High School. Jackie is 11 and is a sixth grader at Lee Middle School."

"Okay, can you get me some recent photographs? I'll also need the license plate of Denise's car so that we can issue an Amber Alert. I'll also need pictures of your husband."

"Right away," Mrs. Newburg rushed off to get the things Kate had asked for.

"Hey, Beckett?" Ryan motioned to her from the living room doorway. "You need to see this."

Kate followed Ryan to a bedroom just off of the living area. It was obvious from the looks of things that a horrible struggle had taken place in the small bedroom. Items on the dresser had been knocked over. The bed had been pushed away from the wall as if someone had been hiding under it and had been found. Plus there were large smears of blood on the floor as well as the wall and back of the bedroom door. "Someone got pulled out from under this bed by their hair," Espo noted, bagging a clump of hair into a plastic evidence bag.

"LT, get on the horn and issue an Amber Alert for those girls and the car. Get the license plate information from Mrs. Newburg," Kate told the uniformed officer, who nodded and went to get the information. "Ryan, let's take Mrs. Newburg to the station and get some more detailed information."

"What's going on, Beckett?"

"Mr. Newburg has sexual assault charges pending on him against both daughters. Mrs. Newburg said he was scheduled to go on trial in a couple of months. I suspect that he might have taken both girls to prevent them from testifying against him. His car is in the garage in the place of his older daughter's 2008 Camry. I want CSU going over that car with a fine tooth comb for evidence. Let's hope these girls are still alive."

When they got back to the precinct, Kate went over and wrote all of the pertinent information down on the murder board. "We have two missing girls," she told the group gathered around her and the board. "Denise Newburg, age 17, and her 11-year-old sister, Jackie. Under we prove otherwise, we're working under the assumption that both of the girls are still alive. Our main suspect is the girls' father. Arthur Newburg is 53 years old, and works as an accountant for K&M Marketing. A call to K&M confirms that Mr. Newburg didn't show up at work this morning and as of right now, he hasn't called in. We believe that he and the girls are in Denise Newburg's 2008 silver Toyota Camry, license plate number Victor Edward-112. The car has damage to the right rear quarter panel from a recent car accident."

"Is the suspect armed?" Karpowski asked.

"Mrs. Newburg has stated that while her husband didn't own a registered firearm while he was in the residence; let's assume that might have changed. Let's find these girls and bring them back safely."

***CCC***

While waiting in Dr. Swann's office, Castle's phone vibrated. He pulled it out and saw that he had an Amber Alert. Since becoming a parent to two small children, he'd had the app installed on his cell phone. He frowned when he saw the message. His fingers itched as he contemplated calling Marlowe Prep to check on Ariel. He was about to put his phone away when he got a text from Kate. **'Have to cancel lunch. I'm working a missing persons case. I'll see u 2nite. ILY.'**

'**I just got the Amber Alert on my phone. Why r u working it? I thought the girls were just missing? ILY, 2.'**

'**Lot of blood crime scene. Will fill u in l8r. Have 2 go.'**

"Rick?" He looked up to find Dr. Swann standing in the doorway. "Please come in. Is everything all right?"

"Oh, yeah," he walked in and sat in his usual place. "Kate caught a case. I was going to meet her for lunch, but she had to cancel."

"That must happen a lot."

"No, not really. When I worked with her, we'd usually eat while we worked."

"You must miss that," Dr. Swann noted. "How long did the two of you work together?"

"Almost eight years. I still work with her sometimes when she's particularly stumped on a case. We've talked about me going back as soon as we can get Jack into school."

"At the end of your last visit, your first wife had just left you with Alexis. How did you fare as a single parent?"

"It wasn't easy," he sat back and took a deep breath. "I think Alexis and I learned a lot of stuff together. I even bought a book so that I could learn how to do french braids and other hairstyles for little girls."

"How long did you date before you married your second wife?"

"Almost two years. Gina is my publisher at Black Pawn. We used to laugh together a lot and we'd go out for drinks with everybody from the publishing house. Eventually she and I would start going out for dinner or drinks. Then I decided to introduce her to Alexis. They hit it off right away. I think that Alexis liked having another woman around besides her grandmother. She didn't see her mother very often."

"Did you marry Gina because you thought that Alexis needed a mother?"

"I wanted her to have a perfect family. Just like I wanted a perfect family when I was a kid."

"Rick, you must know by now that there's no such thing as a perfect family. I'm sure that even as happy as you are with your marriage and family with Kate, that it's not perfect."

"I just think that a kid should have a mother and a father. I could feed Alexis and keep her clothed. I could take her to her school activities and nurse her when she was sick, but I couldn't be her mother."

"How long were the two of your married?"

"Almost seven years. For the first couple of years, everything was good. But then it was like we were both just limping along. We had a great working relationship and still do, but we both came to the realization that we just weren't meant to be a couple."

"Did you fight?"

"No. We just . . . existed. I can't explain it any better than that. I mean, we had arguments, but nothing that could be considered serious."

"How did it affect Alexis when the two of you split up?"

"I don't know. We never talked about it. I got back together with Gina a few years after our divorce."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It was about two years before Kate and I got together. Gina was on me to get my next book finished before my deadline. She called one night and we just started talking. I think we talked on the phone for something like four hours."

"How long were you together the second time?"

"Not very long. Six months, maybe a little longer. We got into an argument one night about how I'd always kept Alexis to myself when we were married."

"Do you feel as if you kept Alexis to yourself when you were married to Gina?"

"No, but when Gina said that, I realized that I had been so used to being Alexis' primary caregiver that it was hard for me to let anyone else in. I even had trouble letting my mother do things for her."

"You said that you got back together with Gina a couple of years before you started seeing Kate. Was Kate aware of your relationship with Gina?"

"Oh, yeah. Things were complicated between me and Kate at the time that I was dating Gina the second time. We were both sending each other a lot of mixed signals. There were times when I'd think that Kate was interested in me as more than just a friend and other time when we couldn't stand each other."

"How did Kate feel when you ended the relationship with Gina?"

"We didn't talk about it."

"Rick, why do you think that you keep yourself so closed off about the things that really matter?"

"I never realized that's what I do," Rick rubbed his face and sighed in frustration. "Look, I really don't see what _any _of this stuff that we're talking about has to do with what happened that night when my daughter was kidnapped."

"Rick, I know that you're anxious to talk about the events of that night, but I don't think that you're ready at this point. I know that you think you are, but you're not quite there, yet. Have you given any thought to what we talked about during your last visit about keeping a journal?"

"Like I said, I'm not a journal writer."

"Don't you write outlines for your books?"

"Yes, but that's different than keeping a journal."

"How is it different? Don't you free write when you're trying to come up with ideas? All that I'm suggesting is that you get a notebook or a pad and just write whatever comes into your head. It doesn't even have to make any sense or be pertinent to anything that we've discussed during your sessions. Will you do that and we'll talk some more on Friday?"

"Yeah, okay," Rick got to his feet and walked over to grab his coat from the coat rack.

***CCC***

Kate was sitting at her desk in frustration. CSU had gone over every inch of Arthur Newburg's car with a fine tooth comb and had found nothing. So far, the Amber Alert hadn't turned up anything, either. She was staring at the information that she'd brought up on her computer regarding the suspect. Arthur Newburg was 53 years old, born and raised in New York. He'd been married to Sharon Newburg for 20 years. Father of two daughters, Denise and Jacqueline. He had no prior criminal history, not even so much as a speeding ticket in the past 15 years. In November, Sharon Newburg had brought her daughter Jackie to Roosevelt Hospital after the young girl had reported that her father had been touching her. After evidence had been found, the hospital had notified police.

After questioning both girls, the police had arrested Newburg. Sharon Newburg had kicked him out of the house and filed for divorce. A restraining order had also been filed, but clearly he'd violated that order this morning by returning to the house, assaulting one or both girls and then kidnapping them. "Where are you?" Kate whispered to herself. "Espo, what's the status on the search warrant for Newburg's apartment?"

"Still waiting!" Javier called back.

Kate glanced at her watch. It was a little after two, which meant that Castle had probably picked Ari up at school and had gone back to the loft. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She hated having to pull a late night, especially her first day back, but it didn't look as if she had a choice. She decided to wait a little longer before calling Castle. Maybe the warrant would be in soon and they could get the search of Newburg's apartment done.

***CCC***

Castle was standing outside of the doors to Marlowe Prep waiting for Ariel to emerge from the small elementary school. The air was chill with a hint of dampness in the air. He really hoped they weren't going to get more snow. The extreme cold made his leg and chest ache horribly. He heard the dismissal bell ring, followed by the doors opening and a horde of children running out of the doors, all seeming to chatter at once. He smiled when he saw Miss Kathy walk out with her group of small charges. She bent down to Ariel and pointed. "Daddy!" Ariel raced over and leaped into his arms.

"Hi, baby girl," Castle embraced his small daughter tightly. "How was school?"

"I missed you. Is mommy at home?"

"No, baby. She's still at work. Do you have homework?"

"I have to write my letters. We're going right home, aren't we, daddy? We aren't going to stop anywhere else?" Ariel pulled back to look at him, her unique blue-green eyes huge.

"Straight home," he assured her. "No pit stops."

"Hi, Mr. Castle," Miss Kathy greeted him. "It's wonderful to see you up and about again."

"Thank you. It feels wonderful to be up and about. How was Ariel's day?"

"Ariel had a wonderful day. I put a note in her folder about a parent-teacher day. It's not a huge big deal. Like I said, Ariel's doing wonderfully. Have a great evening."

"You, too," Castle shifted Ariel's weight in his arms. "Come on, baby girl. Let's go home and get your brother."

An hour later, Castle was sitting at the dining table with Ariel and Jack. He was helping Ariel with her letters while Jack drew on a sheet of paper. It wasn't really necessary to assist Ariel with her writing because she knew all of her letters and she could count to 200 easily. Her penmanship was horrible, but he realized that would improve as her motor skills got better. "Daddy, why won't they let me get harder books from the library? I've read all of the baby books for Kindergarten."

"I don't know. When mommy and I talk to Miss Kathy on Friday, we'll ask her about letting you get harder books. Okay?" He was about to say something else when his cell phone rang. He smiled when he saw the caller id. "Hey," he got up from the table.

"Hi. Castle, I'm probably not going to be home until after eight. We just got a search warrant on our suspect's apartment and I'm on my way to search it now," Kate's voice was apologetic.

"Hey, it's okay. You need to find those two girls. Has there been any word?"

"No. There've been lots of Camry sightings, but we haven't found Denise's car. I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Just do your job. I've got things under control. I love you."

"I love you, too. If I'm not home by bedtime, I'll try to call and tell the kids goodnight."

"Okay," he ended the call before coming back over to the table.

"Mommy has to work late?" Ariel looked up from her homework.

"Yeah. She said she'll try to be home before you and Jack go to bed."

"Mommy's catching bad guys," Jack said as he continued to color.

"I hope so, buddy. How about pineapple chicken and rice for dinner?"

"Yay!" Both kids shouted at the same time.

***CCC***

After bathing the kids and putting them to bed, Castle grabbed a composition notebook and sat down on the sofa with a glass of wine. He began to free write just as Dr. Swann had suggested. It was surprising how his words seemed to just flow from the end of his pen. He was so preoccupied with his writing that the sound of Kate's key in the door startled him. He looked at his watch and saw that it was almost ten.

Kate walked into the loft, looking drained and totally dejected. Castle instantly jumped to his feet, walking over to her as she collapsed against his chest, her arms clasping around his neck. "Rough day, huh?" He whispered, feeling her nod against his chest.

"I'm going to go check on the kids," she pulled back from him, touching his cheek softly.

"Are you hungry? I made pineapple chicken and rice for dinner."

"That sounds good. I won't be long."

Kate walked upstairs, stopping first in Ari's room. She sat on the edge of the bed, smiling at her baby girl asleep half on top of her blankets, her Raggedy Ann doll clutched tightly in one arm, her thumb solidly in her mouth. Kate carefully put Ari's legs back under the blankets and tucked them around her. Ari woke up enough to roll over, tucking her legs up to her chest. Kate brushed her long dark curls away from her face, and bent down to kiss her on the cheek.

Her next stop was Jack's room, where she smiled at her baby sprawled out on top of his blankets, all four limbs spread out like a starfish. His stuffed elephant was on the floor beside the bed, so Kate picked it up and placed it beside him, before running her fingers through his sweat-dampened hair and kissing him on the forehead. He stirred and opened sleepy blue eyes to look at his mother. "You catching bad guys, mommy?"

"Always. Go back to sleep."

When she came back downstairs, she saw that Castle had warmed up dinner and it was waiting for her at the dining table along with a glass of red wine. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, sitting at the table with her.

"It's as if they've vanished into thin air. At first I thought that maybe he'd taken them into Canada. But Mrs. Newburg found the girls' passports at the house."

"It's still possible that he crossed the border."

"Possible, but with the Amber Alert issued, not very likely. The car has obvious front end damage. Even if he managed to change the plates, the car would be recognized. His apartment yielded nothing. Talking to friends and coworkers yielded nothing. Talking to his family yielded _nothing_," Kate's eyes pricked with tears. "I got a call from Lanie right before I left to come home. She confirmed that the blood found in the home belongs to Denise. I think about you and how much you love our children. And then I come across someone like Arthur Newburg and I just get sick. How can that man even call himself a father?"

"I don't know," he reached for her hand. "Why don't you let me run you a bath? Try to put it out of your mind for tonight."

"I can't put it out of my mind, Rick! He's out there with his daughters, one of whom is severely injured, possibly dead—"

"Kate, I know," he got up and walked over, pulling her out of her chair and just holding her to his chest. "You're going to get him. Just not tonight."

They were both asleep in the wee hours of the morning when Kate's phone rang. She instantly jolted awake and grabbed the phone, seeing that it was the Twelfth Precinct calling. "Beckett," her voice was still hoarse from sleep.

"Beckett, its Karpowski. We've got Newburg and the younger girl. The State Police stopped the car near Niagara Falls. They're holding him up there."

"You said they got him and the younger girl. Where's his other daughter?"

"Beckett, we don't know."

**A/N #3: My former Unmuse's brother is a retired homicide detective. The case that I'm basing this on got him promoted from Missing Persons to Homicide. Bad Ass Beckett is going to be making an appearance in the next few chapters.**

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	16. Tunnel Vision

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I don't own anything.**

**SUMMARY: Nothing is at it seems as Beckett investigates the case of a missing teenager. Castle begins putting his jumbled, rambling thoughts to paper.**

**A/N #1: While I'm basing parts of these next few chapters on a case from here in San Antonio, that is where all similarity ends. **

Chapter 16: Tunnel Vision

"Where did they find him?" Castle asked as Kate got out of bed and began to get dressed.

"Near Niagara Falls. The State Police are bringing him back now. Can you take Ari to karate if I'm not home in time?"

"Of course. Where was the younger girl?"

"She was with him. Her mother is bringing her to the precinct. Castle, I'll answer all of your questions when I get home tonight," she leaned down and kissed him.

"Kate?" She stopped in the doorway at the sound of his voice. "Nail his ass to the wall."

"I intend to."

Castle lay back against his pillows when he heard the door open and close behind Kate. It was just after four in the morning. He didn't have to wake Ariel up for another two and a half hours. He couldn't go back to sleep, so he grabbed the composition notebook that he'd placed on his nightstand the night before. Sitting up and plumping up the pillows behind his back, he picked up his ballpoint and began to write.

_Kate has always made it a point to put the victims first. Her ferocity in the interrogation room has always impressed me and yes, intimidated me on more than one occasion. When she pushed Vulcan Simmons into the one-way mirror, I was more concerned for his safety than for Kate's. I thought that she was going to rip him apart. I long for the day that I can once again be by her side in that room, watching her do what she does best. _

_Now she has to go question a man who has been accused of doing unthinkable things to his children, and has possibly gone so far as to kill one of them. _

***CCC***

When Kate walked into the bullpen, she was met by Karpowski. "What's the ETA on Newburg and his daughter?"

"They should be here in about an hour. They left Lackawanna right after midnight. The car is being towed into our garage so that CSU can go over it."

"Great."

Kate walked over to her desk and turned on her computer, getting her notes in order to begin interviewing Arthur Newburg when he was brought in. She wanted to make sure that she was ready. A girls' life hung in the balance. She once again picked up the file she'd created on him, reading it over once again. Looking over the report from the doctor at the hospital where Sharon Newburg had taken Jackie after the alleged assault, one thing jumped out at her. 'How did I miss this?' She said to herself. She picked up her phone and made a phone call to Child Protective Services. "This is Det. Kate Beckett, NYPD. I need to leave a message for Juanita Vargas. Please have her call me as soon as she comes in. It's in regard to Jacqueline Newburg. My number is 201-555-1618. Thank you."

"What's wrong, Beckett?" Karpowski asked as she sat down in Castle's old chair.

"It says here on the report from the doctor that while there was redness in the genital area, evidence of abuse couldn't be substantiated."

"An allegation was made, Beckett. That's why charges were filed."

"I know, but why wasn't the older girl examined? Mrs. Newburg told us yesterday that her husband had been accused of molesting _both _girls. There's no report for Denise."

"I don't know. You'll have to ask the mother."

"Believe me, I fully intend to."

"You're getting that hinky feeling that something's off, aren't you?" Karpowski took a sip of her coffee.

"Not completely. Denise Newburg is seriously injured, possibly deceased. There's no doubt about that. But something's not adding up."

***CCC***

"Where's mommy?" Ariel sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

"She had to go to work early. Come on, you need to get dressed for school. Do you think that you can get dressed while I go to get Jack up and dressed?"

"I want mommy," Ariel whined, her lower lip sticking out petulantly.

"I know, sweetie. She'll be home tonight. Please get up and get dressed."

Ariel reluctantly climbed out of bed and began undressing while Castle went next door to Jack's room, walking over to the bed and gently shaking the small boy. "Jack? Hey, buddy. It's time to get up."

"No. Sleepy." He burrowed deeper under his blankets, just a tuft of hair on top of his head sticking up.

"I know. But mommy had to go to work, so I have to take you with me so we can take Sissy to school."

"Mommy's getting more bad guys?" Jack rolled over, staring up at his father.

"Yeah, more bad guys."

"Mommy's always getting bad guys."

"I know, buddy," Castle chuckled. "Come on, let's get changed.

A short time later after managing to get both kids dressed, he went downstairs to make them breakfast. While Ariel ate her oatmeal, Castle busied himself with a brush and a ponytail holder, brushing his daughter's hair into a full ponytail. "I don't want a ponytail. I want braids," Ariel complained with a mouthful of cereal in her mouth.

"The ponytail makes you look like your mommy," Castle kissed her cheek.

"Fine."

"Ariel, I might have to take you to karate tonight if mommy doesn't get home in time. Is your dogi clean?"

"I don't want you to take me to karate. I only want mommy to take me."

"Ariel, mommy might not get home until after karate," he tried reasoning with her, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle.

"If mommy isn't home, then I'm not going," she folded her arms over her chest.

"Okay, fine," he picked up their empty bowls and took them to the sink. "I'll let you explain to sensei why you weren't there."

After taking Ariel to school and coming back home with Jack, he once again picked up his notebook, writing while he watched Jack play on the floor at her feet.

_I know that Ariel is scared that something bad is going to happen again when she's in the car with me. Yesterday she asked me if we were going to go straight home from school. I hate that I've exposed my five-year-old to unspeakable fear. No child should have to live that way. _

_When I see her the way that she was this morning, stubbornly refusing to allow me to take her to karate this evening, I can't help but think back to the first time I ever saw her. I'm not talking wet, red, and wrinkly straight from the womb. The first time I ever saw Ariel was in a grainy black and white image on a computer screen in the doctor's office. I was completely floored by the emotions that went through my head at that moment. _

_Kate told me her mother's favorite Shakespeare play was 'The Tempest.' She wanted to name our daughter Ariel after the spirit that guides the ships. She also told me that in Hebrew, the name means 'Lion of God.' When I see her stubbornness emerge, I can see how apt her name truly is. Ariel is tenacious and reminds me more of Kate every single day. _

***CCC***

"Mr. Newburg, I'm Det. Beckett. Have you been advised of your rights?"

"Yes." The man sitting on the other side of the interview table was medium height, thin, with thinning light brown hair and brown eyes.

"Why were you heading to Niagara Falls with your daughters?"

"I just wanted to get away and spend some time alone with them. Is that a crime?"

"No, except for the fact that you didn't have your wife's permission to take the girls anywhere. You had Jackie with you when you were stopped, but Denise was nowhere to be found. Where's Denise, Mr. Newburg?"

"Listen, I didn't do anything to my girls. All of this started when Denise sneaked out of the house and I caught her coming back home. When I grounded her, she convinced her little sister to make these ridiculous allegations against me." 

"I'm not talking about the allegations against you, Mr. Newburg. At least not right now. I want to know where Denise is. From the amount of blood that we found in your house, I know that she's badly injured. Tell us where she is so that we can get her some help."

Newburg didn't say anything. He just leaned back in his chair and smirked at Kate, who felt like reaching across the table and slapping him. She heard a rap on the glass behind her and stood up to leave. She walked into the ob room where the boys and Gates were waiting. "Mrs. Newburg and her daughter are here. Why don't you talk to them while Ryan and Esposito take a shot at Newburg?"

Sir—"

"He might open up if he's talking to a man. Go talk to Mrs. Newburg and Jackie."

Kate left the ob room and began walking toward the conference room when her cell phone rang. "Beckett," she answered.

"Det. Beckett, this is Juanita Vargas. I understand that you have some questions about the Jacqueline Newburg case."

"Yes, I do. I'm about to talk to Mrs. Newburg and her daughter, but could we meet somewhere for coffee in about an hour?" Kate asked, glancing at her watch.

"I'll meet you at the Starbucks down the street from the Twelfth at 10:30."

"Thank you," Kate ended the call before walking into the conference room where Sharon Newburg sat waiting with a little girl who looked much younger than her 11 years. Jackie Newburg had long black hair and huge black eyes. "Thank you for bringing Jackie in, Mrs. Newburg," Kate sat in a chair across from the little girl. "Jackie, my name is Kate. I need to ask you some questions. Is that all right?"

"Am I in trouble? I told Denise that I didn't want to get in trouble," she looked at her mother.

"Jackie, can you tell me what happened yesterday morning?"

"I heard Denise get up. Then I heard her yelling at my dad. She told him to get out of the house. That he wasn't supposed to be there. He told her that he didn't do anything. He told her that she needed to stop lying. I heard her slam her bedroom door, so I hid under my bed. I heard her door hit the wall, and then I heard them fighting again."

"Did you see them fighting, Jackie?"

"No," the little girl shook her head, tears shining in her dark eyes. "Denise had warned me to hide if he came to the house."

"What happened after you heard them fighting?"

"Denise was screaming and then it just got quiet. A few minutes later, I heard my father telling me to get out from under the bed."

"Where was Denise?"

"My dad said that we had to leave. He said that Denise had run to a neighbor's house and the cops were going to be there. I didn't want my daddy to go to jail, so I went with him. But when I saw the blood in the living room, I asked him if Denise was all right. He shoved me toward the garage and told me that we had to hurry."

"Did he say anything about what had happened to Denise?"

"No, he just kept telling me to shut up when I asked about her. He said that he was going to take me to Canada to go camping. I thought that it sounded like fun."

"Has Art said where Denise is?" Sharon Newburg asked.

"No, not yet. Can you wait around with Jackie? I might have some more questions," Kate stood up. "Jackie, thank you for talking to me. You were very brave."

"Am I going to get in trouble?"

"Sweetie, you haven't done anything wrong," Kate was confused. "Mrs. Newburg, would you like some coffee? I can have one of the officers pick up some donuts if either of you is hungry."

"Some coffee would be great. Jackie, would you like something to drink?"

"Can I have a soda?" Jackie looked at her mother hopefully.

"Not at eight o'clock in the morning. How about some orange or apple juice?"

"I guess," Jackie sighed.

"I'll have someone bring refreshments in to you," Kate said as she left the room. Her intuition was telling her that something was very wrong with this whole case.

***CCC***

"Mr. Newburg, why don't you tell us about the fight that you had with Denise yesterday morning?" Esposito started the interview with the man sitting across from them.

"Wow, you boys cut right to the chase, don't you?" Newburg sat back in his chair, appraising the two detectives. "I didn't do anything to my daughters! Back on Halloween, Denise sneaked out of her house to go to a party after I told her that she couldn't go. I caught her sneaking back in her bedroom window. I grounded her for a month. About a week after that, these cops showed up at my workplace and told me that I needed to come with them. When I got to the station, they told me that Jackie had told her mother that I had touched her inappropriately."

Although Ryan and Esposito wanted to hear what had happened to the missing girl, they knew that the abuse allegations were what had started this whole mess. For the time being, they were willing to let Newburg talk. Espo noticed that Ryan was making notations on his notepad so that they could fill Beckett in. "Children usually don't lie about sexual abuse," Ryan stated, his voice icy calm.

"I realize that, but I'm telling you that Denise put Jackie up to this. Jackie will do anything that her sister tells her to do. I've caught her in lies before because of Denise. I went to the house early yesterday because I knew that Sharon would still be at work. I just wanted to talk to Denise. I wanted to talk to Jackie, to tell her that she needed to tell the social worker and the cops that she was lying. But Denise started screaming at me and telling me that I needed to leave. She said that she was going to call her mom. She went into her bedroom and slammed the door. I was pissed, so I . . . I kicked the door opened. She was sitting on her bed and I yanked her off of the bed by her hair. She lost her balance and hit her head on the corner of her dresser. Her head started bleeding and she started screaming at me some more."

Esposito figured that accounted for the smaller amounts of blood they'd found in the bedroom. "How did Denise get hurt?"

"I dragged her into the living room. She kicked me in the balls and ran out of the front door. I knew that she was going to call the cops, so I went to Jackie's room and told her that we needed to leave."

"Mr. Newburg, this is what we found in your living room," Ryan pulled out a picture showing the huge pool of blood in the middle of the living room floor. "Something awful happened in that living room."

"No," he shook his head. "Denise cut her head and it was bleeding all over the place. One of the neighbors has to be hiding her."

"Head wounds bleed a lot. I get it," Espo said. "But most of them don't bleed that much. Where is your little girl?"

"Ask Sharon's neighbor. Hell, ask Denise's boyfriend."

"What's the boyfriend's name?" Ryan asked.

"Justin Lynley. He lives three houses down from Sharon's house."

***CCC***

Kate was on her way to Starbucks to meet with the social worker when her cell phone rang. She stopped outside of the entrance to the coffee shop to answer. "Hey, Castle," she breathed into the phone.

"How's it going? Did you make him cry and confess?"

"Not quite. I'm about to go into a meeting. Can I call you when I get out?"

"Yeah," he answered, sounding a little dejected.

"Rick, I'm sorry—"

"No, it's okay. You need to nail this guy. I'll talk to you later."

"Okay. I love you," she ended the call before walking into Starbucks, looking around.

"Det. Beckett?" Juanita Vargas held her hand up. When Kate walked over, she shook her hand warmly.

"Let me get a coffee and we can chat," Kate walked up and placed her usual order before walking back over to the small table. "Thank you for meeting me."

"I heard on the news that the older girl is missing, but that you found Jackie."

"Yes, Denise's car was stopped in Lackawanna, New York last night. Jackie was in the car with her father. She hadn't been harmed. I read in the doctor's report that the evidence of sexual abuse couldn't be substantiated."

"We had to investigate because an accusation had been made. The doctor who examined Jackie stated that while the genital area was red, there was no evidence of penetration. But I questioned Jackie extensively over a period of several days. I even used dolls. She showed me and told me repeatedly that her father had touched her and had forced her to touch him."

"What about Denise? Mrs. Newburg said that her husband had abused both girls. What did Denise say when you talked to her?"

"I was never able to talk to Denise. Every time I tried to make an appointment, Denise always had other obligations. Once the charges were filed, I didn't worry about it anymore."

"Did you consider it suspicious that you couldn't question Denise?"

"No, not really. I've encountered cases like that before."

"I've always been told that children don't lie about sexual abuse. But lately I've been seeing a lot of those true crime shows where the child does lie about it. How common is that?" Kate took a long drink of her coffee.

"Detective, in 99 percent of the cases that have come across my desk, the child is telling the truth. But there's always that other one percent. A child who gets angry because they've been disciplined in some way. I've found in those cases, that most of the time there's already a history of the child lying long before the allegations are made. Do you think that's the case this time?"

"I'm not sure, yet. Jackie said something earlier in the interview that has me wondering."

"What was that?"

"She asked if she was in trouble. She said that she told Denise that she didn't want to get in trouble. I need to go back and question Mrs. Newburg," Kate looked at her watch before getting to her feet. "Thank you for taking time to meet with me."

"You're welcome. I hope that you're able to get to the bottom of this."

"So do I."

When Kate got back to the precinct, the boys were at their desks. "Where's Newburg?"

"We placed him in holding and told him that we'll probably have more questions for him. What did you get from the kid?" Espo asked.

"I'll let you know in a minute. What did you get from him?" She pulled a chair over and sat down.

"Newburg admits getting into a fight with Denise and hitting her head on the corner of her dresser when he was trying to drag her from her bedroom. However, he says that Denise got away from him and ran to a neighbor's house to call the police which is why he took off with the other girl," Ryan read from his notes.

"Jackie said the same thing. Is it possible that she did run to a neighbor's?"

"Nope," Espo shook his head. "Uni's questioned the neighbors and none of them had seen Denise before yesterday afternoon when she got home from school. Newburg said that Denise has a boyfriend by the name of Justin Lynley. We sent a uniform to his house. His mother corroborated that her son and Denise had dated, but she hadn't seen Denise in several days. We've got her permission to question Justin when he gets home from school this afternoon."

"Has CSU finished with Denise's car?"

"Yeah," Ryan said. "They faxed the pictures. She was definitely in the trunk," he handed Kate several eight by ten glossies of the inside of the Camry. The carpet was soaked through with blood.

"I need to talk to Mrs. Newburg, but I want him brought up from holding. Put him in One," Kate got up and left the bullpen.

Kate walked into the conference room where Mrs. Newburg was still waiting with Jackie. "Can I please take Jackie home? She's tired and bored."

"Soon. I need to talk to you alone. Jackie, why don't you come with me real quick," Kate said. Jackie looked doubtfully at her mother, who nodded. Jackie got up and followed Kate to the bullpen and into the break room. "What kind of soda do you like?" Kate walked over to the vending machine.

"My mom will get mad."

"It'll be our secret," Kate smiled at the little girl.

"Root beer."

"Here you go," Kate purchased the drink and brought it over to her. "You see those two men sitting right there?" She pointed to Ryan and Esposito as Jackie nodded. "If you need anything, just ask them. I promise that your mom won't be long."

"Is something wrong?" Mrs. Newburg asked when Kate came back into the conference room. "Have they found Denise?"

"I just to need to ask you a few questions. Jackie made a comment about telling her sister that she didn't want to get into trouble. Has Denise asked her sister to make up stories to cover up for her before?"

"Detective, my daughter is a _victim_ here."

"I know that, but I also need to know what is going on here. The more that I know, the easier it will be to locate your daughter. We were both teenagers, Mrs. Newburg. I don't know how you were, but I was something of a wild child."

"Art and I have caught Denise in lies over the past couple of years. There have been times that she has asked Jackie or a friend to cover for her. The doctor at the ER told me that he wasn't 100 percent satisfied that Jackie had been abused. But she had all of the right answers. They had to call social services because—"

"It had to be reported by law. I know. What do you think really happened?"

"I don't know. A few months ago, Art caught Denise sneaking in her bedroom window at four in the morning. He grounded her for a month. After they took him in for questioning, I asked both girls if they were telling the truth. They looked me right in the eye and told me that they were. I asked Denise on several different occasions if she had coerced her sister into making false claims against her father. She told me that she wouldn't be that stupid. I kicked Art out of the house because social services told me that it was better if he didn't live there while they were investigating. Denise was lying, wasn't she?"

"I don't know. I want to make arrangements for Jackie's social worker to speak with her again in my presence. Even if Denise was lying, it doesn't excuse what happened."

"Do you think that Art killed Denise?" Mrs. Newburg's eyes filled with tears which ran down her cheeks. "Please be honest with me, Det. Beckett."

"Yes, I think that he killed her. Whether it was intentional or an accident, I don't know. Your husband isn't exactly being straightforward."

"Do you think that it would help if I talked to him?"

"Not right now. But we might need your help if he doesn't tell us something soon."

"Please get him to talk. If he killed Denise, I still have the right to know where she is. I'm her mother!"

***CCC***

Kate walked into the interrogation room a few minutes later and sat down across from Arthur Newburg, who was starting to look more than a little tired and frazzled. Kate hoped this would work to her advantage. "Mr. Newburg, these are pictures of the trunk of your daughter's Toyota Camry. The amount of blood in this trunk combined with the blood that we found in your house tells us that if Denise isn't already dead, she will be soon. Where did you dump her body?"

"If I don't tell you anything, what can I be charged with right now?"

"Mr. Newburg, we don't necessarily have to have a body to prove that you killed your daughter. The amount of blood is more than enough to prove that you killed her. All it's going to take is the testimony of the medical examiner and you're going to go away for the rest of your life. If it was an accident, talk to me. I'll put in a good word with the D.A."

"Detective, as lovely as you are, I'm exhausted. Either take me back to the holding cell or book me, but I'm done talking. As a matter of fact, I think I want my lawyer."

***CCC***

_Kate's eyes. The first time I met her, I told her that she has gorgeous eyes. They turn dark when she's angry. They light up when she's playing with the kids or with me. They shine so brightly when she's happy. I'd rather see them light up than to see her distressed. She sounded so low when I talked to her. This case is depressing to both of us. Once I'd be with her, working theories with her whether they made sense or not. As much as I love being at home with my kids, I miss the days of being her partner, both on the job and off. _

Castle put his pen and notepad down when he heard Kate's key in the door. Both kids raced to her, wrapping their arms around her and both talking at once. Castle stood back watching her fuss over Ariel and Jack, making sure to give them equal time before finally managing to untangle from them and walking over to him, sighing at the feel of his arms wrapping around her. "Have I told you how much I needed this?" She whispered in his ear.

"Mommy, I didn't want to go to karate with daddy," Ariel hugged Kate's thigh.

"Why?"

"It's too far."

"I'll explain later," Castle told her. "After you unwind, I'll make dinner."

"I'm not hungry, Castle. Why don't you just order a pizza for the kids?"

"Pizza!" Both kids jumped up and down excitedly.

After the kids had their fill of pizza, Kate took Ari into hers' and Castle's bathroom to give her a bath while Castle bathed Jack upstairs. "Why didn't you want to go to karate with daddy?" Kate asked, shampooing Ari's long hair.

"It's too far."

"Ari, it's the same distance as it is when I take you. Why didn't you want to go with daddy? I want the truth this time."

"What if another bad man wrecks daddy's car?"

"Sweetie, no more bad men are going to wreck daddy's car. When I'm not here, and there are places that you need to be, daddy needs to drive you. You're going to be okay. You know that daddy would never let anyone hurt you."

"That's not true," Ari whispered, leaning close to Kate. "That bad man hurt me."

Kate took a deep breath, trying to busy herself with bathing her daughter so that Ari wouldn't see the brightness in her eyes. "Next Wednesday, daddy's going to take you to the dojo."

"Not if you're home," Ari shook her head.

"Even if I'm home. We're not talking about this anymore. Come on, it's time to get out."

After reading to the kids, Kate came downstairs where Castle was scribbling in his notebook. "Are Nikki and Rook running amok in your head?" She sat down beside him as he closed the notebook and put it aside.

"No. It was something Dr. Swann suggested. Do you want to talk about the case?"

"Castle, every ounce of my being is telling me that Denise Newburg is dead. The evidence is all pointing to that."

"Why do I sense a 'but?'"

"I don't believe in blaming the victim, but I think that she put the wheels in motion that led up to all of this."

**A/N #2: In the real case, the abuse was real. The case will conclude in the next chapter with the presence of bad-ass Beckett. **

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	17. Nothing is as it Seems

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I still don't own anything, but with luck I'll soon be able to buy all six seasons of 'Castle' that are out on DVD. **

**SUMMARY: Kate and the team try to unravel the truth behind Denise Newburg's disappearance as Art Newburg begins to play mind games with our favorite detective.**

**A/N #1: A little background on the real case. I found that more comes up when you Google Deborah Moberg than when you type in the name of her scumbag stepfather, Ray. In January 1987, 18-year-old Deborah was shot and killed by her stepfather, who then kidnapped her 8-year-old half-sister. Ray had been accused of molesting the younger girl and her brother. The younger girl was found unharmed at her grandmother's house the day after the kidnapping. Ray, a San Antonio paramedic, proceeded to play mind games with the police for the next six months, refusing to tell them what he had done with Debbie. Blood was found in the trunk of her Mustang, so the cops knew she was probably dead. Finally, after being offered a plea deal of life in prison with the chance of parole after seven years, he confessed to shooting Debbie and disposing of her body in a dumpster, where it ended up in a landfill. Because of health concerns and the length of time that had passed, it was decided not to search for her remains. Ray was sentenced to life in prison to be spent in protective custody because the inmates at Huntsville Prison in Texas were quite vocal about what they were going to do with him when he arrived in prison. To this day, he remains in prison. A side note: for months after his arrest, he remained on the payroll of the San Antonio Fire Department, something that was rectified when Ray's ex-wife reported it to police and the D.A. The money was taken from Ray and given to his ex to support her two young children.**

**Except for the initial details, I have changed almost everything else.**

Chapter 17: Nothing is as it Seems

"Castle, I pulled some really rotten stunts when I was a teenager," Kate was relaxing in Castle's arms as they shared a bath together, coupled with glasses of wine. "I sneaked out of the house more times than I care to remember, until I got busted. I covered for friends and they covered for me. _But_, I would never accuse my father of doing something to me."

"You're positive that's what happened?" Castle's breath was warm against her temple, his arms soothing around her waist.

"I'm positive. I left a message for Juanita Vargas to come in tomorrow morning so that she can talk to Jackie. I asked the boys to re-interview Justin Lynley and ask him if Denise had ever said anything about plans to make false molestation claims against her father."

"I'd also advise talking to girlfriends," Castle suggested. "I know that Alexis tells her girlfriends everything. In fact, they might be a better source than the boyfriend. If she told her boyfriend, his first inclination might be to confront the father."

"That's a good idea. This is why I miss not having you at the precinct with me."

"This fall we'll see about getting Jack into a good pre-school. Then I can be your full-time partner again in every way," he kissed her temple, feeling her melt against him.

"Rick, do you think that we should see about a therapist for Ari?"

"Why? Because she won't let me take her any further in the car than to school and back? Kate, she's a five-year-old who's still recovering from a major trauma. She seems to be getting better now that everybody's not talking about it anymore. Let's let her work through it on her own. I'll try to ease her into longer excursions."

"Why don't you suggest the museum? Ari and Jack never turn down the museums," she craned her head back to look at her husband, who grinned in response. "Neither do you."

"That's because they have dinosaurs there," he bent down to kiss her.

"I remember you telling me that once."

***CCC***

The next morning Kate received a text from Lanie before she left the loft to go to work, so her first stop was to OCME, where she was surprised to find Alexis back at work. "Alexis," Kate hugged her stepdaughter. "I didn't think you were going to come back to work for another week."

"I got bored sitting at home watching TV. I went to see my doctor and she said that it was okay as long as I felt up to it. How are dad and the kids? I've wanted to stop by, but the weather has been so awful."

"They're all fine. Call me or your dad later and we'll set up a time to all get together for dinner."

"That sounds great," Alexis smiled.

Kate found Lanie in the autopsy room, studying slides under a microscope. "Hey, girlfriend," she looked up. "CSU finished with Denise Newburg's car and besides a lot of blood, they also found this," she held up a plastic evidence envelope with a cell phone inside.

"Have you checked her last calls?"

"Her last call was to her mom's cell phone, but the call only lasted two seconds."

"That coincides with what Art told the boys. He said that Denise had gone to her room to call her mother. He must've taken the phone from her before the call had a chance to connect. I'll have Ryan scrub it to see if there's anything else of any value on it. Thanks, Lanie."

When Kate walked into the bullpen, the boys were already in an interrogation room with Justin Lynley. She stopped in the ob room to listen. Capt. Gates was already there when Kate stepped in. "Good morning, Detective."

"Sir. Has he said anything?"

"No, they just got started."

Kate looked at the young man sitting on the other side of the two-way mirror. He was tall, about 6'2 and lanky. He had longish brown hair which he kept running his hands through in a manner of nervous energy. "Justin, when we talked yesterday, you told us that you'd been going out with Denise for about six or seven months. Were you dating when her father caught her sneaking home after the Halloween party?" Espo began the questioning.

"Yes, sir," Justin cleared his throat. "She told me at school the next morning that she'd gotten grounded for a month."

"Is that all that she said?"

"She said that she was tired of her parents and their rules. She said that she was almost 18, so she should be able to do what she wanted to do. She said that she was tired of being treated like she was her sister's age."

"What did you say to that?" Ryan asked.

"I told her that my parents were the same way. I told her I thought most parents were like that. She always said that her house felt like a prison."

"Justin, did Denise say anything about her father doing anything to her or her little sister?" Espo looked at his notes.

"Denise said that her father had to move out because Jackie had told her mother that he had been touching her. She said one day that it was better without her father there because her mom was always either at work or asleep because she worked at night. So, Denise and Jackie could do whatever they wanted to do."

"Did Denise ever say why she didn't talk to the social worker, Ms. Vargas?"

"She told me that when her mom took Jackie to the hospital, that they looked at her . . . down there. Denise said if they did that to her, she'd get in trouble because her mom would find out that she wasn't a virgin."

"You and Denise were having sex?" Ryan looked at the young man.

"Yes, sir. She told me that I wasn't her first. But she said that her mom didn't know."

Out in the ob room, Kate could feel the captain's eyes on her. "The abuse allegations were lies?" Capt. Gates finally asked.

"We think so. Ms. Vargas is going to talk to Jackie this afternoon after school. Our belief is that Denise coerced Jackie into making the allegations and things just snowballed out of control. I'm fairly certain neither Denise nor Jackie were aware of what the consequences of this one lie would lead to."

"She might've ruined her father's reputation," Gates pointed out.

"But that's no excuse for murder."

"Talk to the D.A. Let's see if he'll plead to involuntary manslaughter in exchange for telling us where his daughter's body is."

"Yes, sir."

An hour later, Kate once again found herself sitting across from Arthur Newburg, who looked rather rumbled after a night in jail. "Mr. Newburg, I've talked to the D.A. He's willing to offer you a plea of involuntary manslaughter in exchange for your cooperation."

"Detective Beckett," Newburg leaned forward on his elbows, "I didn't do anything to my daughters. The very idea of acting that way with any child is repugnant to me. I lost my job. I had been with the same company for more than 20 years. They fired me! Even after I told them that what Jackie had accused me of was a lie! They said that they couldn't have someone like me in their employ. Someone like me," he scoffed. "I was guilty before I'd even go on trial. What does that say about our society when a man can't even get the chance to prove his innocence?"

"Mr. Newburg, I'm not here about the molestation charges. The only thing that I want to know right now is what you did with Denise. Where is she?"

"I don't have to talk to you, you know?" He sat back and stared at Kate.

"You're right, you don't. But don't you think that your wife deserves to have her daughter back? Don't you want to give her a proper burial?"

"Oh, I get it. You're a mom. Let me tell you something about Denise, Det. Beckett. Do you know how I could tell when Denise was lying? Her lips were moving. She was teaching Jackie to act the way that she did. What if your daughter lied to you constantly? What would you do?"

"I know one thing that I wouldn't have done," Kate stood up, backing away from the table. "I know that I wouldn't have killed her." She walked over and rapped on the door to the interrogation room. "Get him out of here," she told LT when he opened the door. "When you're ready to tell me where Denise is, we'll talk again."

Kate left the interrogation room and walked over to her desk, putting her head in her hands as she tried to get her thoughts in order. "You're letting him get to you," she looked up to find Rick standing by her desk.

"Castle," she stood up and embraced him. "You should've told me that you were here."

"You were a little busy," he sat in his chair after she released him. "Mother has taken Jack to her acting school, undoubtedly teaching him Shakespeare, so I thought I'd come up here until time to pick Ariel up at school."

"Castle, I get that he was angry at Denise. There has to be some small part of him that is still that girl's father. The man who taught her to ride a bike has to be in there somewhere."

"You have to remind him of that man. Right now, he's pissed because of the abuse allegations. I get that. When you talk to him again, remind him that before these awful allegations came to light, he was a father of two daughters."

"Hey, Castle's back!" Ryan called out when he and Espo came out of the room where they'd been interviewing Justin Lynley.

"How'd it go with Newburg?" Espo asked when he and Ryan stepped over to Kate's desk.

"Not as well as I'd hoped. I had LT take him back to holding before I did something that I regretted. I saw part of Lynley's interview. Did he tell you anything of any importance?"

"Nothing other than the fact that Denise probably didn't talk to the social worker because of the medical exam. Her mother would know that she'd been having sex."

"Oh, before I forget, here's Denise's cell phone," Kate handed Ryan the plastic evidence envelope. "CSU found it in the trunk of her car. See if you can scrub it for text messages or voice mail messages."

"You've got it," Ryan left to do her bidding.

"I've got paperwork to do," Espo excused himself to leave Kate alone with Castle.

"I've missed seeing you sitting next to my desk," she smiled. "We've definitely got to see about getting Jack into school."

"Have you given any more thoughts to Valentine's Day? Remember our discussion about a weekend in Bermuda?"

"Right now, Castle, I'd settle for a weekend at the Four Seasons. I just don't feel comfortable going too far away with the way that Ari tends to get."

"Okay," he nodded. He pulled out his cell phone. "Speaking of which, the school is on the phone right now. Hello? Okay. Is she running a fever?"

"What's wrong? Is Ari sick?"

"Tell her to hang on tight and I'll be there as soon as I can," he hung up and looked at Kate. "Ariel threw up in class. I'm going to go and pick her up. I will call you as soon as I get her home."

"If she has a fever, call Dr. Sullivan."

"I know the drill," he bent down and kissed the top of her head. "I'll call you in an hour or so."

"Castle, keep her away from Jack!" She called out to him as he waved in response.

"What's going on? Why is Castle leaving already?" Espo rolled over to her desk.

"The school just called. Ari's sick."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Tell me about it. If she has a bug, that means Jack's going to get it, and then Castle, and just when everybody is feeling great again, I'm going to get it."

"And you'll give it to all of us. The last time that I got sick, I blamed it on bad Chinese food. I had no idea that it was because of bad baby," he said as Kate laughed, remembering the bug that Kevin had caught from his kids and had spread around the homicide team.

***CCC***

Ariel was lying on a couch in the nurses' office when Castle walked in to get her. "Hey, sweet pea," he bent down, feeling her forehead. While she felt a little warm, it didn't seem to be anything to call the doctor about. "Does your tummy hurt?" Ariel nodded. "Okay, we'll get you home and get you fixed up."

"Ariel just got sick the one time, but she said that her stomach feels funny," the nurse explained. I took her temperature and it was a little over 100, so it's probably just a 24-hour bug."

"Thank you," he took Ariel's coat from the nurse and helped her into it before bending down to pick up her backpack from the floor.

When he got her home, he bathed her and changed her into a pair of clean pajamas before settling her on the sofa with a glass of ginger ale and her favorite dolls for company. "I hate throwing up," she complained.

"I know, sweetie. I'm going to get you something just in case you can't make it to the bathroom next time," he walked into the bathroom, returning seconds later with a plastic basin.

Settling into his recliner, he watched over his younger daughter as she closed her eyes and went to sleep. He then picked up his pen and notebook to write some more.

_Ariel's sleeping on the sofa, trying to recover from a stomach bug that she undoubtedly picked up from some other kid at school. I love to watch my girls sleep. It's easier to watch Ariel or even Alexis when she was small. It's more difficult to watch Kate. It's as if her cop radar kicks in and she senses that I'm watching her. The very first time that we ever made love; I forced myself to stay awake after she'd drifted off, just to watch her. At that time, I still didn't know what forces had worked to bring her to me on that rainy night, but from the bruises that I'd seen, I knew that it had been something awful. Sleeping, Kate looked more peaceful than I'd ever seen her. Watching her remains my favorite thing to do, whether she's asleep or awake._

He took out his phone and dialed Kate's number. "Hey, it's me. Can you talk?" He asked when she picked up the phone.

"Yeah, I can talk. How's Ari?"

"Right now, she's asleep on the sofa with a barf bin on the floor at her feet and surrounded by her favorite dolls. She had a slight fever, but I called Dr. Sullivan and she advised me to just give her some children's Motrin. She said if it goes up, to call her back. I also called mother and she's going to keep Jack tonight. So hopefully he doesn't get it."

"That's so funny, Castle. She seemed fine this morning before school."

"She's gotten sick this fast before. It used to happen to Alexis all the time. Do you think that you'll be home at a decent time? Because I know that when Ariel wakes up, she's going to want her mommy."

"I have to go and talk to the younger Newburg girl, but I'll be home after that. Give Ari a kiss for me when she wakes up."

"I will," he ended the call.

***CCC***

Shortly after three o'clock Kate met social worker Juanita Vargas at the Newburg home. They sat at the dining table across from Jackie, who didn't look to happy to have to be talking to Kate again. "Jackie, do you remember me?" Ms. Vargas asked. Kate had told her earlier that she was more than happy to let her talk to Jackie.

"You're the lady from the hospital," Jackie mumbled.

"I'm Ms. Vargas. Jackie, do you know the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie?"

"Ms. Vargas—" Mrs. Newburg interrupted.

"Mrs. Newburg, please let her do this," Kate warned the woman.

"Jackie, I asked you a question and I need an honest answer."

"I told Denise that we'd get in trouble," the young girl began sobbing. "She said that if something bad happened to daddy, that we'd tell the truth. She said he'd be so glad not to go to jail that he'd give us anything we wanted."

"Oh Jackie, you didn't," Mrs. Newburg groaned. "Why?"

"Denise was mad because she got grounded and she had to miss the holiday dance. She told me that you would believe me because I'm a little kid. She said that the police always believe little kids when they say they've been molested. She gave me 10 dollars."

"Jackie, do you know how much trouble your daddy is in?" Kate asked her.

"But I'm telling you that it was a lie. So you can let him out of jail now."

"Jackie, it's not as simple as that. He accidentally hurt Denise, maybe very badly. That's not okay," Kate tried to explain.

"No," Jackie shook her head. "Daddy told me that Denise went to the neighbors to call the police. That's why we were going camping in Canada. Am I going to go to jail because I lied?"

"No, Jackie. But I'm sure that you and your mother are going to be having a _very _long talk about telling the truth."

"I'll never lie again. I promise," Jackie crossed her fingers over her heart.

Both women were deep in thought as they left the house and walked to their respective vehicles. "Det. Beckett, what's going to happen now?"

"We've offered Mr. Newburg a deal if he will just tell us where Denise is. So far, he has refused. I'm going to let him stew in jail for the rest of today and take another crack at him first thing in the morning. What those two girls did is despicable, but it doesn't excuse his part in it."

"I wonder if either parent knew that they were dealing with a budding sociopath."

"Probably not. As parents, you tend to turn a blind eye to the faults of your kids. Thank you for your help."

***CCC***

Castle was in his recliner with Ariel and her dolls, reading to her from one of the 'Little House on the Prairie' books. While Ariel hadn't thrown up any more, it was obvious from looking at her that she was miserable. Her eyes were dull and she was listless.

Castle looked up from his reading when he heard Kate's key in the door. "Oh, my poor baby," Kate crooned as Ari instantly held her arms out for her mother. Kate lifted her from Castle's lap, smiling at the feeling of four small limbs wrapping around her. "Has she gotten sick anymore?"

"No, but she says, and I quote, that her stomach feels 'yucky.' I was thinking of making her some jell-o."

"Soup would be better," Kate walked over and sat on the sofa.

"Is the bad guy in jail?" Ari drew back to look at her mother.

"Well, he's in jail, but we're still talking to him. Would you like daddy to get you soup chicken noodle soup from the deli?"

"No," Ari shook her head.

"Ari, you have to eat something. You'll feel better if you eat something."

"I threw up all over my desk," Ari made a face. "Zachary and Brendan laughed at me."

"It was an accident. Why don't you lie back down on the sofa and daddy will go get you some soup. You don't have to eat much, but you have to eat a little."

"Will you play your guitar for me?"

"I'll play my guitar for you before you go to sleep tonight _only _if you eat a few bites of soup."

"Okay."

Castle went to the deli down the street from the loft, getting dinner for the three of them. While he was gone, Kate fixed an area by the sofa so that the three of them could eat together. When he returned, he opened the bag onto the coffee table while Ari sat up and Kate handed her a small container of chicken noodle soup. "I saw Alexis this morning at the OCME," she said between bites of tuna salad on wheat.

"She's already back at work?" Castle took a bite of his own sandwich.

"She said that she was bored at home, so she called her doctor and got the okay to go back to work. I told her to call and we'd all get together for dinner."

"Can I have your pickle?" Ari pointed to the dill pickle sitting on Kate's sandwich wrapper.

"Sweetie, I don't think a pickle is going to be a good idea for a yucky tummy. Let's just eat soup."

"Is Jack staying at Gram's tonight?" Ari took a drink of her ginger ale, making a face. "This is hot."

"The doctor said no ice," Castle reminded her.

"Jack's staying at Gram's so that he doesn't get sick, too," Kate answered her question.

"I'm done," Ari handed the container back to Kate.

After dinner, the three of them cuddled Ari on the sofa between them and Castle put the TV on Nick Jr. The two adults groaned as they were forced to sit through Team Umizoomi. The only redeeming factor Kate could see to the show was it increased Ari's math skills. Even Jack had benefitted from the show. Kate glanced at her watch, seeing that it was almost 7:30 and time for her daughter to be in bed. "Come on, sweetie, let's go to bed. Castle, can you grab her dolls?"

After tucking her into bed and playing her a couple of songs on her guitar, Kate and Castle both kissed their daughter goodnight and left the room, pulling the door partially closed as they made their way back downstairs.

"How did your interview go?" Castle poured each of them a glass of wine and sat on the sofa beside Kate.

"Castle, part of me understands Arthur Newburg's anger toward Denise. I don't condone what I think he did, but I understand why he was so angry. They ruined his reputation and his good name. He's never going to get those back."

"Especially if he killed his daughter," Castle pointed out.

"Castle, he killed Denise. All of the evidence points to it. The D.A. is offering him seven to fifteen if he pleads to involuntary manslaughter. He has to realize that he's going to prison regardless. I don't understand why he won't just say where she is."

"I think it's because if he tells the police where he dumped her body, it makes what he did real. If he keeps playing games, he doesn't have to accept the fact that he did the worst thing that a parent can ever do to a child. When it was just me and Alexis, I started teaching her that the truth could never hurt her. I've tried to teach Ariel and Jack the same thing. So have you. I have vowed to never be angry at any of my children so long as they're telling me the truth. I might be disappointed in what I learn, but I'll never be angry at them for telling me the truth. Somewhere along the line, Denise and her little sister were never taught that lesson."

"I'm not going to say that I never lied to my parents, because I did. Lies by omission or getting friends to cover for me were still lies. Looking back at how I acted back then, I know that things would've been much better if I'd just come clean. But you never look at it like that when you're a child. All you're worried about when you're a kid is how much trouble you're going to be in."

"And how to avoid that trouble," he added.

"Exactly."

"Are you angry at Denise?"

"I don't want to be," she bit her lip. "Like her mother told me, she's the victim. But they've all been victimized, Castle. Denise got her sister to tell this awful lie. Jackie had to undergo an exam at the hospital that's embarrassing for a grownup. Then she had to talk to someone and perpetuate the lie even further. Arthur Newburg lost his job because his employer thought he was a pedophile. I'm sure that Sharon Newburg's life wasn't much easier at her job. One lie wrecked so many lives, Castle."

"And cost one person hers."

"That's the most tragic part of all. If Denise had just admitted that the whole thing was a lie, she'd be alive right now and enjoying what's left of her senior year."

**A/N #2: Badass Beckett shows up early in the next chapter. I promise.**

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	18. Breaking Point

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I don't own anything. But soon, very soon, I will start collecting my 'Castle' DVD's. I have a job!**

**SUMMARY: Kate reaches her breaking point with Arthur Newburg.**

**A/N #1: There is going to be a time jump of a few days in this chapter.**

**A/N #2: For those of you who have written reviews complaining about the lack of Jack in my story, I will answer a few questions: 1) No, Jack was not created just so Ariel could have a sibling. 2) To the reviewer who (jokingly) suggested that I should just kill him off. Uh, NO. 3) Yes, I have probably included more of Jack to appease my readers. As the story progresses, there will be some chapters that will feature more of the kids and some chapters where they might not appear, at all. Even in the series, you will notice that there are weeks where we see very little of Martha and Alexis. Please read the story for what it is. I'm sorry that I'm not including more of Jack. **

**A/N #2: 'Veritas' gets a brief mention in this chapter.**

Chapter 18: Breaking Point

Kate was so tired. She could hear Castle talking to the kids, but she was trying to figure out why he was at the precinct with the kids. Ari had the flu. She shouldn't even be out of the house. Her eyes were so tired. She'd just close them for five minutes and then she'd take one more crack at Arthur Newburg. "Five more minutes," she mumbled.

"Easy, Kate," she heard Castle's voice. It sounded like he was underwater. Why was she so tired? She hadn't felt this kind of exhaustion since she was in the hospital after her shooting.

"Castle? What're you doing here? Why did you bring the kids here? Ari's sick. She should be at home in bed."

"Kate, you're at home."

Kate opened her eyes and looked into the concerned blue eyes of her husband. "What's going on?" She struggled to sit up.

"You're exhausted," he slipped his arm around her, helping her to a sitting position. "You stayed up all night with Ari three nights ago, and then you went to work that morning. Don't you remember?"

"Yeah," she ran a hand through her hair. "Ari woke up in the middle of the night throwing up again."

"I heard you get up, but you never came back to bed. When I got up at seven, you were sitting by her bed just watching her sleep."

"I went to work because Espo called and said that Newburg wanted to talk to me. But he just sat there smirking at me. I had such a headache. I was so tired," she groaned as she rubbed her face. "I'm still so wiped out."

"Gates called me just after noon and said that she was sending you home. She said you were sick."

"I caught Ari's stomach bug," Kate remembered running to the bathroom and throwing up her morning coffee. "I drove home?" She looked at him to fill in the blanks. "Why can't I remember anything?"

"Because you're mentally and physically exhausted, Kate. This case is tearing you apart."

"Has there been anything on the news?"

"No."

"What happened when I got home?"

"Ariel and I were watching cartoons and you walked in. Your face was as white as a sheet. When I went to meet you at the door, you practically passed out at my feet. You scared the hell out of Ariel. She was okay after I assured her that you just caught her yucky tummy."

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Thirty-six hours."

"The kids?"

"They're fine. I've got everything under control. Ariel went back to school yesterday and mother brought Jack home yesterday afternoon. He's in the living room right now watching 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates.'"

"I need to go talk to Arthur Newburg," she threw the comforter back on the bed.

"No, Kate," Castle stopped her, as she glared at him. "I've already called Capt. Gates and told her that you'll probably be in tomorrow. Newburg isn't going anywhere. Let the boys take care of him. You need to sleep. You've been running for two months and it's finally caught up with you. Lie down and relax," he pressed against her, pulling the comforter up to her chest. "Get some sleep and I'll check on you in a little while."

"What about your appointment with Dr. Swann?" She asked as her eyes started to close.

"I'll go tomorrow when you're feeling better. I've already called her."

One part of Kate still wanted to get up and tackle her detective duties, but her body ached so badly and she was so sleepy that the lure of hers' and Castle's sinfully soft Memory Foam bed was difficult to resist.

After feeding Jack some lunch and putting him down for a nap, Castle went to check on Kate. He smiled at the sight of her sleeping with her hand resting on his pillow. He climbed up on the bed, moving her hand as he reached for his notebook and pen. Kate sighed sleepily, resting her hand on his thigh. He rubbed it gently before opening his book and beginning to write.

_Kate came home a day and a half ago with a 102 temperature. I hadn't seen her look so frail since right after Jack was born. She crashed on the operating table and for the third time in my life, I thought I was going to lose her. _

_Right now she's sleeping, her hand resting on my leg. I've noticed that when she sleeps and I'm beside her, she has to be touching me. I wouldn't have it any other way. The past two months have been so rough and I worry that at some point, she's going to break. It takes a lot to make Kate break, and it tears me apart when it happens. Even after all of our time together, she still hates it when I see her vulnerable. I caught a glimpse of her vulnerability the first time we worked together. I gave her a speech about why she was a cop that turned out to be a little closer to home than Kate would've liked. _

He looked down to find her staring at him, her eyes looking more than a little glazed. He reached down and placed a hand to her cheek. "You're a little warm. I'm going to get you some Motrin."

"Where's Jack? And please don't tell me he's still watching TV," her voice was muffled by her pillow.

"Jack is taking a nap," he emerged from the bathroom with a water glass and two Motrin. "Do you think you could eat some soup?"

"No," she quickly shook her head. "What are you writing? Ideas for Nikki Heat?"

"No. Dr. Swann suggested that I do some free writing. So, I just jot down whatever springs to mind. Some of it doesn't make a lot of sense," he settled back onto the bed beside her.

They were interrupted by the sound of Kate's phone on her nightstand. She grabbed it and glanced at the number. "Beckett."

"Beckett, I know that you're under the weather, but Newburg's insisting that he talk to you," Espo's voice came over the line.

"Can't you, Ryan, or even Gates handle him? I'm flat on my ass, Javi."

"He got his ass kicked in jail last night. I guess it finally knocked some sense into his thick skull. We've tried talking to him, but he told Gates that he'll only talk to the lady detective with the little kids. How does he know you have little kids, Beckett?"

"He must've guessed," she sat up, pushing the covers back.

"Kate, where are you going?" Castle asked when he saw her getting up. "No! Give me the phone!"

"Rick, I've got it," she looked at him. "I'll be there in half an hour."

"Kate, no!" Castle jumped off of the bed and ran to where Kate was in the closet removing her work clothes. "You have a fever! You passed out at my feet two days ago! It's snowing outside! You don't need to be going out!"

"I have to," she walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower.

"No, you don't! What if you go up there and he just sits across from you like he's done for the last week?"

"Rick, what if it was Ari or Jack? Wouldn't you want to know where they were? I owe it to Sharon Newburg to find out where Denise is. I have to do this."

"Fine," he huffed in irritation. "But I'm going with you. I'll wake Jack up and take him to Helen's and make arrangements for her to pick up Ariel from school."

Every fiber of his being told Castle that this was a bad idea. Arthur Newburg had been playing games with Kate for a week now. The D.A. had even agreed to drop the molestation charges, but he refused to divulge what he'd done with his oldest daughter's body. Castle had known Kate for 13 years. He'd learned to read when she was close to breaking. Right now she was as close to breaking as he'd seen her since the last showdown with Senator William Bracken so long ago. Being ill was only aggravating the situation.

Jack was understandably cranky at being awoken from his nap and more so when he learned that he was going to be staying with Helen for a little while. After dropping Jack off, he called the school and told them that the sitter was picking Ariel up and to please make her aware of that fact. The last thing he felt like dealing with today was Ariel freaking out because her routine was being disrupted.

***CCC***

Capt. Gates looked up from the desk in her office when she saw Det. Beckett and Castle walking by, Beckett holding a box of Kleenex in one hand and a bottle of hand sanitizer in the other. She got up and left her office. "Detective, you look like you should be at home in bed. What're you doing here?"

"I'm going to get Arthur Newburg to tell me where he dumped his daughter's body. I'm doing my job," she started to walk away toward the interrogation room.

"I tried to stop her," Castle lamely tried to explain.

"I have no doubt that you did, Mr. Castle. Go in there with her. Try to keep her under control," she added cryptically.

When Kate and Castle walked into the box, Kate's suspect was already at the table waiting for her, the same stupid smirk plastered on his face that Kate had seen for the past week. "Who's he?" He nodded toward Castle.

"He's my partner," Kate sat down, placing the tissues and hand sanitizer within easy reach.

"Pardon me for saying so, Detective, but you look like hammered goat shit, as my daddy was fond of saying."

"Where's Denise?" Kate came right to the point.

In the ob room, Ryan, Esposito, and Capt. Gates were observing, waiting for Kate to get some kind of a confession from Newburg. "Why did you call her in, Det. Esposito?" Gates looked at the man standing to her right.

"He sent a message that he was ready to tell us where Denise's body is, but that he'd only tell Beckett."

"We don't make deals, gentlemen. In case you haven't noticed, Beckett is teetering on the edge where Newburg is concerned. If he refused to talk to either of you, you should've kept him on ice until he was ready to talk."

"Yes, sir."

Inside the box, Kate blew her nose and tried to focus her attention on Newburg. After a week in jail, he was already beginning to acquire the pasty complexion of many inmates. "What did you hit Denise with?" She changed tactics.

"I told you that she hit her head on the edge of her dresser when I was trying to drag her out of her room."

"That accounted for the smears that we found. Mr. Newburg, your living room looked like a slaughterhouse. All of that blood didn't come from Denise hitting her head on a dresser. What did you hit her with?" She repeated. "I know that you didn't shoot her because Jackie didn't report hearing anything that sounded like firecrackers. What did you hit her with?"

"We were fighting around the room and Denise grabbed a fireplace poker and swung it at me."

"You got it away from her," Kate guessed.

"Why have I never met you before?" Newburg ignored Kate and turned his attention to Castle, who was sitting passively at Kate's side. "Before, Det. Beckett has come in with the Mexican or the pale Irish cop. I've never seen you before. What's your name?"

"Pale Irish cop?" Ryan looked at his partner. "Really?"

"Hey, at least he got your ethnicity right. I'm Puerto Rican, asshole!" Espo yelled.

They both stopped when they saw the warning glare in their captain's eyes.

"Newburg, you're wasting my time and it's pissing me off," Kate tried to get Newburg back on track.

"I can already see the lead-in on the 11 o'clock news. 'While hiking in the woods, two men discovered bones that might belong to missing 17-year-old Denise Newburg, who went missing in February—'"

"Newburg, we're talking about your daughter. Your own flesh and blood. Isn't there some part of you that still feels some kind of fatherly affection for her?"

"Detective, she ruined my life," he leaned forward, his face only inches from Kate's. "Even with the molestation charges dropped, people still think I'm the pervert who fucked my daughter."

"And you don't think that spending the rest of your life in prison isn't going to ruin your life?" Kate's whole body tensed up. She had had it with this jack-hole and his games. "What about your wife? Doesn't Sharon deserve to have her daughter's body back? Doesn't she deserve to be allowed to bury her and give her some peace?"

"Where do you think my daughters learned to lie?"

Kate jumped up so fast that it took Castle and the team watching by complete surprise. She leaped across the table, yanking Newburg to his feet. "Kate! No! Back down!" Castle grabbed Kate around the waist as the door to interrogation flew open and the boys ran in followed by Gates.

"Where's your daughter, you sorry son of a bitch?" Spit was flying from Kate's mouth as she grabbed the lapels of Newburg's shirt.

"You're fucking crazy!" Newburg screamed back. "Great! Now I'm going to catch whatever creeping crud you're infected with."

"Get him out of here!" Gates shouted at the boys as they grabbed Newburg while Castle pulled Kate away from the prisoner.

"I hope that you do get this shit! I hope you die, motherfucker!" Kate screamed as she struggled in Castle's arms.

"Let's go, asshole," Esposito yanked Newburg out of the room.

Once he was gone, Kate broke down in sobs, crumpling to the floor as Rick tried to hold her up. He finally gave up, following her to the floor. "Mr. Castle, get her calmed down and then take her home."

"Yes, sir." Castle waited until the interrogation room door closed before turning Kate toward him. "Kate, it's okay. Shh," he cupped her jaw, attempting to soothe her as her whole body shook with sobs. He brushed her hair from her face, anything to comfort her. "Come on, let's go home."

"Castle, I get that he's angry," she pulled back, looking at him with eyes that were as bleak as he'd ever seen them. "I understand that. But she's his daughter. I know that what she did was awful, but don't you think that she deserves to rest in peace?"

"Yeah, I do. Kate, I don't want you talking to him, anymore. I don't like seeing what he's doing to you."

"Castle, I have a job to do," she argued back. "I've accepted the fact that he killed Denise. But I'll never forgive myself if I can't bring that little girl home to her mother."

"Kate, too much has happened in the last couple of months. I just wonder how much more you're going to be able to take."

"I'll take as much as I have to so that I can get the job done, Castle. What time is it?"

"A little after one," he glanced at his watch. "Let's get you home and back in bed. Then I'll pick Jack up and take him with me to get Ariel. That way you can get some rest."

***CCC***

The next morning, Dr. Swann opened her office door, smiling when she saw Castle already waiting for her. "I'm sorry that I had to cancel yesterday. Kate was under the weather, so I stayed home to keep things under control for her," Castle followed the doctor into her office.

"I see that you brought your journal with you. How has the free writing been coming along?" She asked, sitting in her huge armchair while Castle settled into the love seat directly across from her.

"Good, actually. Writing has always been my outlet and I hadn't realized how much I missed it."

"Let's just talk about what's on your mind today. Is Kate feeling better?"

"I worry that she's running herself ragged. After the accident, I spent almost a month in the hospital. She was going to work, coming to the hospital to be with me, and then going home to take care of the kids. I think it's beginning to catch up with her."

"What does that make you think of?"

"So many things," Castle rubbed his face. "Kate doesn't break easily. She's a homicide detective, so not showing a lot of emotion has been ingrained into her psyche. About a year before we got married, these thugs showed up in a hotel room while I was out. They got her drunk and tried to kill her. She managed to get loose and killed both of them. But one of them managed to hit her over the head with a whiskey bottle. I found her out in the corridor, almost unconscious and bleeding from the head wound. That was the second time that I thought that I was going to lose her."

"When were the other times?"

"The first time she was giving the eulogy at her first captain's funeral and a sniper shot her in the heart. I tackled her to the ground, but I was a fraction of a second too late. That was the first time that I told her that I loved her. It was silly, I know," he forced a smile. "She was lying on the ground bleeding and I used that as an opportunity to say 'I love you.'"

"It's not silly if it was what was really in your heart, Rick. Is that how you really felt or did you say it because you felt it would give Kate the strength to hang on?"

"No, it was how I felt. I'd felt that way for a while before I actually said the words."

"Were there any other times when you felt that you were going to lose her?"

"One other time," he cleared his throat. "When Kate was pregnant with our son, the man who had ordered her mother's murder was on trial. There were a lot of complications in the pregnancy due to the stress that she was under. Jack had to be delivered by c-section. Shortly after he was born, Kate went into cardiac arrest. All I could think about was the fact that I'd been a single parent once; I wasn't sure I wanted to do it again. I was selfish."

"That's not selfish, Rick. That's a very realistic fear. I want to change course a bit here. Have you and Kate talked about what happened the day of your accident?"

"Of course. She was there right after it happened. She was the first person that I told Ariel had been taken. I want to write my thoughts down about that day, but when I try, nothing happens. Why is that?"

"You might not be ready. Have you given any thought to writing a book about that day?"

"No!" He said, jumping to his feet, wincing at the pain in his still healing leg. "I just want to talk about that day! I don't want to write about it! Don't you understand? It doesn't only affect me. It affects everybody that I care about."

"I know that, Rick. How long have you been a writer?"

"The better part of 30 years."

"I'm sure that you find it cathartic."

"Yes, but that's because my characters aren't real. I can play with them as I see fit and decide how their lives are going to turn out. When it's real life, it's already set in stone."

"I've read your 'Nikki Heat' series, Rick. Aren't there things in those books that are based on what has transpired in your 'real life,' as you put it? I know that your wife's first captain was shot and killed. Didn't you base Capt. Montrose's death on that? Wasn't Rook's shooting at the end of 'Heat Rises' loosely based on your wife's shooting in the cemetery?"

"Yes, and the term is 'loosely.' What happens if I write about that night and some Hollywood agent decides that it would make a great movie starring Mark Wahlberg or Ryan Reynolds? Do you have any idea what hell that will put my family through?"

"Tell me about the man who tried to kill you and Ariel that night. How do you feel about him?"

"How do I feel? I feel like he has his own special place in hell. Right next to Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer. He made mine and Kate's life hell for years. And then, he decided to drag my daughter into it. My daughter! She's a baby!"

"Have you thought about writing about him? About how you first encountered him. The awful events of that day could just be a chapter in his story. How would you feel doing that?"

"Are we still going to be talking about that day?"

"Of course, Rick. It's clear from listening to you and watching you that you're suffering from what happened that day. I want to help you put the events of that day into a compartment of your brain where you're not constantly thinking about it. Some time down the line, Rick, I also want to talk to Kate. Do you think she'd be all right with that?"

"Yes. Kate just wants us to be a family again. That's not going to happen as long as I'm dragging this behind me."

"Well, keep writing in your journal and we'll talk again next Monday."

"Thank you, Doctor," Rick shook her hand before leaving the office.

When he walked into the loft 45 minutes later, he smiled at the sight of Kate lying on the floor with Jack, building what appeared to be the world's biggest stack of blocks. "Daddy!" Jack ran up and hugged his father's legs.

"Hey, buddy!" Castle swung the little boy into his arms. "What're you and mommy doing?"

"Playing. You play, too."

"Hey, Castle," Kate hummed happily when she felt Castle sit beside her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "How was your appointment?"

"We need to talk later," he whispered in her ear.

"Okay," she gave him a concerned look, but he gave her a smile, so she forced herself to relax.

An hour later, Kate left to go pick Ari up at school, so Castle set up the chessboard. Lately, he'd been teaching Ariel chess just as he'd taught Alexis when she was young. He smiled at Jack, who was sizing the board up carefully. "C'mere," Castle lifted Jack up and placed him in his lap. "Do you want to learn the pieces?"

"I already know," Jack picked up the separate pieces, naming them as he did. "The pawn, rook, king, queen, and knight. See, daddy? I already know."

"Very good." Castle then showed Jack how each of the pieces moved while Jack watched carefully. "Look out, Bobby Fisher."

"Who's he?"

"Bobby Fisher was a very famous chess player. He knew all of the big moves."

The door opened and Ariel walked in, followed by Kate. "Hey, Jack can't play chess!" Ariel protested, removing her backpack as she walked over to the table. "He's too little!"

"You can both play. How was school?" Castle kissed Ariel's cold cheek.

"Fine. I have homework," Ariel turned and walked to the dining room.

"Do you need help?" He called out.

"Mommy will help me, thank you."

"Is Sissy mad at me?" Jack looked at his father.

"No, she has homework."

"I want to watch," he slid off of Castle's lap.

"Maybe I should clone myself. That way each of you gets one of me."

"They'd still fight over you, Castle," Kate smiled from the dining table. "I know that I would."

That night, Kate let Castle put the kids to bed while she relaxed in a warm bubble bath. She'd called Gates earlier, apologizing for her outburst the day before. Gates had told her not to worry about it, but not to let it happen again. She looked toward the bathroom door when she felt a gust of cool air. "Get in here, Castle," she moved up as he began removing his clothes. "What happened with Dr. Swann?"

"Kate, how would you feel if I were to write a non-fiction book?" He slowly climbed into the tub, settling behind his wife as she leaned into his chest, and rested her hands on his knees.

"Please tell me that you're not thinking about writing about that day."

"Not in general. Dr. Swann planted a seed today about the whole ordeal with Tyson. I was thinking about how it all started. About how we first encountered 3XK and then about how he framed me for Tessa Horton's murder, and then meeting Kelly Nieman. About how everything led up to what happened that day in December."

"But doesn't a non-fiction book call for a lot of research?"

"Yes, but I always do a lot of research, anyway."

"Yes, but your research doesn't usually involve having to interview real people, Castle. I worry about the amount of travel that you might have to do for this. After all, you're still recovering, too."

"Kate, I think writing about it can only help. If I can write about Tyson, I can get him out of my head. Maybe I'll stop having nightmares where he takes Ariel and we never get her back."

"Have you talked to Gina and Paula?"

"Not yet. I wanted to talk to you first. You're the only person that I answer to, Kate. If you don't like the idea, then I won't do it."

"Have you written an outline?"

"No," he shook his head. "Again, I'm not doing anything until I get an okay from you."

"Talk to Gina and Paula," she turned in his arms so that she was facing him. "Let them know what you're planning. Derrick Storm and Nikki Heat have been your bread and butter for a long time. They might not like you changing directions."

"It's one book, Kate. I'm not switching careers to write non-fiction. I'm just shelving Derrick and Nikki for a short time." 

"Okay," she leaned forward, kissing him softly. "Take me to bed and read to me."

**A/N #3: There will be one more chapter for Part 2 and then I'm going to start Part 3, which will be 10 or 11 chapters. Hopefully this will be done before the deadline.**

**A/N #4: 'Jake and the Neverland Pirates' was one of the few shows that I could tolerate on Nick Jr. when my great-niece and great-nephew were living in my house.**

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	19. A New Direction

**DISCLAIMERS: I only own the Nikki Heat series on my Kindle. Thanks, Adriana.**

**SUMMARY: The Newburg case comes to a tragic conclusion. Rick discusses his book idea with his agent and publisher. **

**A/N #1: Thank you for all of the great reviews for the previous chapter. And thanks to everybody for having my back.**

**A/N #2: In this chapter, Jack is going to display more typical two-year-old behavior with somewhat hilarious results.**

Chapter 19: A New Direction

The phone call came at two in the morning. Hearing her phone buzzing around on her nightstand, Kate groggily reached out her hand, grabbing the offending object. "Beckett," her voice was still hoarse from sleep. "Where? Hold on," she reached out in the darkened bedroom for the pad and pen which were ever-present, jotting down the information. "Okay, I'll be there in 20."

Sighing deeply, Kate slowly sat up and threw her legs over the side of the bed. She looked over her shoulder at Rick, who was soundly sleeping, one arm flung over his head. Sometimes he reminded her of a cat when he slept. She didn't see how he could possibly be comfortable. He was out like a light. She was glad because she knew that there were some nights since coming home from the hospital that he didn't sleep well. Some nights it was because of nightmares; other nights it was because of pain in his leg. But tonight he'd slept well. After getting out of the tub the night before, he'd read to her as she'd asked, and then they'd made love before they both had fallen asleep. That had only been a few short hours before. Now Kate was off to meet Lanie at the location where Denise Newburg's body had been found.

After getting out of the shower and dressing, she came back into the bedroom, sitting on the edge of Castle's side of the bed, gently running her hand along his forehead. "Rick?" She whispered. "Castle?"

"Kate," his voice was thick with sleep. "What's wrong?" He slowly opened his eyes, frowning slightly when he saw that she was fully dressed. "Did you get a body drop?"

"They found Denise Newburg's body in a vacant field in Westchester County. I have to go."

"Ariel's conference is today," he reminded her even as his eyes started to close once again.

"I'll try to make it, but I can't promise anything. I'm sorry, Castle."

"S'alright. I'm sure it's nothing major."

"What time is your meeting at Black Pawn?"

"Nine thirty."

"Call me when you get out," she bent down and kissed him on the forehead.

"You're not getting away from me that easily, Kate Beckett," he reached up and tugged her down, his lips brushing against hers. "Be careful. I love you. And don't worry about Ariel. I'll explain everything to her and she'll be fine."

Kate sighed when she got off of the bed. It was at times like this that she felt so torn between her job and her family. She was a mom. She was possibly going to miss her own daughter's parent-teacher conference at school so that she could help another mom who had lost her own child under the most tragic of circumstances. She knew that the boys would understand if she left early. But her conscience just wouldn't allow it. It was that constant need to exercise control over everything. The cop part of her felt that by leaving work early to attend to her own child's needs, that she was somehow leaving her job half-done.

It was bitterly cold outside as Kate headed for the location Karpowski had given her over the phone. It was about an hour west of the city, which meant that Newburg had dumped Denise before heading toward the border with Jackie. Her guess was that Jackie could've been asleep at the time or not paying attention.

Approaching the location in the early morning hours, it was hard to miss the red and blue lights of the vehicles that were already on the scene. Kate parked her car and exited her vehicle, her feet crunching the still frozen earth as she walked across the field and spotted Lanie crouching over a body. "Sorry to bring you out here so early," the M.E. said, glancing up at her best friend.

"Who found her?" Kate asked.

"A guy and his girlfriend. Their car broke down and they were walking across this field toward that house," Lanie pointed toward a house about 300 yards away. "The girl saw her and screamed. They called 9-1-1 and here we are."

"How long has she been dead?"

"Well, the snow and the cold has slowed down decomp, so my guess is she died the day she was taken by her father. Cause of death is blunt force trauma. She has two severe lacerations right here and here," Lanie pointed again. "I'll know more when I get her back to the morgue."

"I want CSU to sweep the area for evidence. Thanks, Lanie," Kate turned and walked back to the road where the young couple who had found the body were waiting. "I'm Det. Kate Beckett," Kate showed the couple her badge.

"I'm Pete Casey, and this is my fiancée, Colleen Sears. Is that the girl from the news?"

"We think so. When did you find the body?"

"It was a little after midnight. I was driving Colleen home after a party and my car stopped running. I didn't want to leave Colleen in the car alone, so we started cutting across the field to see if we could find some help. I tripped over something and then I heard Colleen scream."

"I've never seen a dead body before," the young woman trembled as her boyfriend pulled her close.

After asking the couple a few more questions, she allowed them to leave with the tow truck driver who had generously agreed to give them a lift back to the city along with Pete's car. Since there was really nothing else that she could do at the scene, Kate told Karpowski that was going to go to the precinct to make the notification to Denise's mother.

An hour later, Kate stood beside Sharon Newburg in the morgue as the grieving mother looked at the body of her oldest child lying on the metal slab. "Is Art going to be charged with her murder now?" She asked, blowing her nose into a tissue.

"I can't call the D.A.'s office until after eight. He had offered your husband—"

"_Estranged _husband," Sharon clarified. "I filed for divorce last week. Det. Beckett, do you know that his accounting firm was still paying his salary even though he's been sitting in jail for over a week?"

"No, I didn't know that. I'm sorry."

"What will he be charged with? First degree murder?"

"Unfortunately, in New York, first-degree murder only applies in the death of police officers. He was offered a plea of involuntary manslaughter in exchange for divulging Denise's whereabouts. Since he refused to agree to that, I don't know where the D.A. is going to stand now."

"I started taking Jackie to a therapist. She has the most awful nightmares. She blames herself for her sister's death and her father being in jail. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't her fault. Her father is the only person to blame."

"You're right. He is."

"When will her body be released to the funeral home?" Mrs. Newburg asked Lanie.

"I'll be finished with the autopsy later this morning. I can release her then."

"Thank you."

***CCC***

"Why does mommy always have to go after bad guys when I have things to do at school?" Ariel complained while standing between her father's knees as he expertly tugged her hair into tight French braids. "Ow, daddy! You're going to make my eyes slanted!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized, wrapping a ponytail elastic around one of the braids and starting on the other one. "Ariel, mommy said that she'll try to be there. Please try not to be upset."

"What if Miss Kathy tells you bad things about me?" Ariel turned after Castle had finished with the second braid. "Will I get in trouble?"

"Is there something that you want to tell me before I meet with your teacher this afternoon?"

"No," she quickly shook her head.

Castle knew that if Ariel had been misbehaving in school, he or Kate would've learned about it from reading the folder that came home from school with their daughter every day. A smiling face signified a good day. A frowning face followed by notes meant things hadn't gone so well. So far, there had only been one frowning face and that was because their often gregarious daughter had been talking in class when the teacher was trying to talk. That had been the year before in pre-school and after a stern talking to, it had never happened again. But the little girl standing in front of him, looking at him with the perfect mix of his and Kate's eyes wasn't that same little girl. The Ariel that had emerged following that awful night in December was far more serious, less prone to talking and laughing. Castle missed his laughing, talking Ariel. He wanted that little girl back.

"I'm sure Miss Kathy is going to have nothing but good things to say about you," Castle smiled, pulling Ariel close and hugging her tight. "Get your backpack while I get your coat. We need to take Jack downstairs to Helen's and then we're off to school."

Ariel scampered off to get her backpack from upstairs while Castle walked over to get her coat from the closet by the front door. He'd just closed the door when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and hit the 'answer' button. "Good morning, Helen."

"Oh, Mr. Rick, I'm so glad that I caught you before you brought Jack down. I'm afraid that I won't be able babysit this morning. Braxton is sick and I'm about to take him to the doctor."

"I'm sorry to hear that he's sick," Castle grimaced as he looked over at his son, who was playing with his cars near the living room sofa. "Don't worry about it. I can just take him with me. I hope that Braxton feels better soon."

Castle had taken both kids to Black Pawn before when he had meetings. While Gina didn't necessarily like it, she'd never said anything to him forbidding him from bringing them. He'd just load Jack's little backpack with his cars and trucks along with his Super Hero action figures.

Bundling both kids into their coats and grabbing Jack's backpack, he led both of them to the elevator and out to the parking garage. As usual, he saw Ariel hesitate before he opened the back passenger door and helped her into her booster seat. Kate had reported to him that lately she'd become increasingly on edge even when her mother or grandmother drove her anywhere in the car. "Daddy, why can't I sit on the other side?" Ariel pointed to the other side of the seat where Jack was waiting in his car seat.

"My side, Sissy. Not yours," Jack glared at her.

"Ariel, let's go to school. When you get home tonight, we'll talk about switching your seat with Jack's. Is that okay?"

"Okay, daddy."

Another crisis averted, Castle thought, walking around and getting into the car. "Snow again?" Castle laughed when he looked in the rear view mirror and saw Jack face palming his forehead.

"I'm afraid so, buddy."

"I miss summer," Ariel looked at the slushy streets. "Can we go to the Hamptons, daddy?"

"When it gets warm, baby girl. It's too cold out there right now."

***CCC***

Kate was sitting at her desk, staring at her computer screen. Something was nagging at her consciousness and she couldn't figure out what it was. Something someone had said to her that didn't make much sense. Shrugging to clear her mind of the pestering thoughts, she got up and walked into the break room where she saw Capt. Gates making herself a cup of coffee. "Did the mother id the body?"

"Yes, sir. I've got a call in to the D.A. to see where we go from here," Kate sighed deeply, walking over to the coffee machine to make her own coffee. Every time she used the machine, she thought about Castle. He'd once referred to the old precinct coffee as tasting like a monkey had peed in battery acid. Thus they had this fancy coffee machine which was the envy of the rest of the precinct.

"Is something on your mind, Detective?" Gates took a sip of her coffee.

"Something's nagging at me, but I can't figure out what it is."

"Was it a conversation that you had with someone from this morning? Who all have you spoken to?"

"I talked to the couple who found the body, Lanie, Mrs. Newburg—" Kate paused, snapping her fingers. "That's it! Sharon Newburg made a comment that she'd started taking Jackie to therapy. She said that Jackie was feeling guilty about her sister's death. How did Jackie know that Denise was already dead?"

"It's probably assumption. After all, a lot of blood was found in the residence."

"No, I don't think so," Kate shook her head. "I think Jackie saw more than she's admitting to. I need to call Ms. Vasquez from social services."

When Kate got back to her desk, Espo had left a message saying that the A.D.A had called. Kate sat down and called him back. "How do you want to play this out, Detective?" A.D.A Reed asked her.

"I want to tell him that we found Denise's body. But there's something else I want to confront him with," Kate told him about her suspicions that Jackie had witnessed the murder.

"You've already proven that this guy doesn't have a soul," Reed reminded her. "I don't think he's going to give a shit that he killed one of his children in front of the other."

"Probably not, but I have to give it a shot."

"If he tells us everything, I could go for man-one. That's 15 to life. I'm not willing to do less and neither is my boss."

"Okay. Let me talk to Newburg and I'll get back to you by this afternoon."

"That sounds good," Reed said, ending the call.

***CCC***

Castle walked into the offices at Black Pawn Publishing shortly after nine o'clock with Jack in tow. "Good morning, Michelle," he greeted the receptionist.

"Hi, Rick. Good morning, Jack," she smiled at the little boy, who shyly smiled back. "I'll let Gina know that you're here. Paula will be here soon."

"Thank you," he led Jack over to a nearby sofa. "Jack, listen to me. Daddy has to talk to Gina and Paula. I want you to sit over here and play with your toys. You don't leave this office."

"Okay," Jack smiled.

The office door opened and Gina Cowell stepped out, glowering when she saw the small boy standing by his father. "Rick, this is a publishing house, not a day care center."

"He'll be fine. He can play with his cars for hours. Jack, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Paula arrived shortly thereafter and went into Gina's office. "Are you writing again, Rick?" Paula asked, taking a seat beside Castle in front of Gina's desk.

"No, but that's what I wanted to talk to the two of you about. I have an idea for a non-fiction book. I want to write about Jerry Tyson."

"You want to write a book about the man who almost killed you and your daughter?" Gina leaned forward. "Are you some kind of glutton for punishment?"

"I'm not writing about the accident, Gina. I want to explore what made Tyson what he was. I want to write about his childhood, his crimes as the Triple Killer, his time in prison. Yes, the accident will be included, but it's not going to be the primary focus."

"Rick, you're hardly a true crime author," Paula made a face. "Leave that genre to Ann Rule and Diane Fanning."

"This has been circling around in my brain for a while and it needs to come out. All I'm saying is let me write an outline. If you don't like the outline, then I'll give up the idea. If you don't like it, I can pitch it to Ann Rule or Diane Fanning, like you suggest, Paula."

"I'd like to see an outline and a first chapter. I have to admit that I'm curious to see what you come up with," Gina sat back in her chair. "How does Kate feel about this?"

"She's on board."

"I'm glad that she is," the publisher sat forward, propping her elbows on the desk. "You've never written a true crime book, Rick. Writing true crime is different than writing Derrick Storm or Nikki Heat. A true crime book can take over your life. You're going to be traveling to get research from the people who knew Tyson. In true crime, you can't make something up because you want it to fit into the story."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"I just want you to know what you're letting yourself in for."

In the outer office, Michelle was busy taking phone calls, glancing occasionally to where Jack was playing in the corner with his arsenal of cars, trucks, and action figures. She'd always liked it when Rick Castle brought his children into the office. Both kids were sweet and remarkably well behaved. At least they were when they were together. She'd yet to experience either of them alone. She had no idea that a two-year-old had the attention span of a gnat.

Jack was placing his action figures on the book shelves within arm's reach. But he wanted them higher. After all, Spiderman and Batman climbed. He tentatively placed his foot on the second shelf from the floor and climbed.

Inside of Gina's office, the three adults were discussing the idea for Castle's book when they heard a shout from the outer office followed by a crash. Jumping to his feet, Castle ran out and found three bookshelves, their contents, and Jack in a heap on the floor. "What the hell, Castle?" He heard Gina call out.

"Jack, what're you doing?" Castle scooped the little boy up, examining him carefully. "Michelle, what happened?"

"I climb, daddy," Jack explained.

"No, Jack. You could've gotten hurt. Michelle, I'm so sorry."

"Michelle, get this cleaned up and then come into my office," Gina ordered her receptionist.

"Gina, it wasn't her fault. It was mine," Castle felt horrible for the young woman.

"Oh, I know. This office isn't your children's playground, Rick. I didn't allow it when Alexis was small and I won't allow it from your new children."

"New children? Are you kidding?" Castle thrust Jack at Paula, who looked shocked but took the boy. Castle then followed Gina into her office and slammed the door behind him. "New children? You make it sound like I just bought him and Ariel from Macy's."

"Rick, what your son just did in my reception area is exactly why I didn't want kids when we were married!"

"Newsflash, Gina. To have kids you have to have sex, which was one ingredient that was sorely lacking in our marriage!"

"All I'm saying is the next time you come to this office, leave your children with a sitter. If you can't find one, call me. We can meet at the loft."

"I'll help clean up the mess," Castle offered.

"Don't bother. That's what I have Michelle for."

"Promise me that you're not going to take what happened out there out on her."

"Don't worry, Rick. It wasn't her fault. It was yours and that . . . child's," she stuttered the word out.

Castle left the office and took Jack from a still surprised Paula. Michelle gave him an apologetic smile before handing him Jack's backpack. "I'm so sorry," he apologized and then walked over to the coat rack, where he retrieved his and Jack's coats, helping his son on with his before donning his own. "James Jackson, mommy is not going to like hearing about this."

"I sorry," Jack's blue eyes filled with tears. "Spiderman wanted to be high."

"Let's go see if mommy's busy."

***CCC***

"We found your daughter's body," Kate was sitting across from Arthur Newburg for at least the tenth time in the last week.

"What's the D.A. offering me?"

"Man-One. You'll do 15 to life."

"What happened to involuntary manslaughter?" Newburg flashed angry eyes at Kate.

"That ship has sailed. How much did Jackie see?"

"No," he shook his head. "Jackie was in her room."

"Art, you and I both know that isn't true. Your daughter is seeing a therapist, Art! She's 11 years old and having to see a shrink! Do you want to know why? Because she blames herself for the fact that her sister is dead and her daddy is in jail. That's what she told your wife. How did Jackie know that Denise was dead if she was hiding in her room? I have a five-year-old daughter, Art. As far as she's concerned, the sun rises and sets on her daddy. Does Jackie feel that way about you?"

"On Sunday's, Jackie would get in my lap and we'd read the comics together," he cleared his throat. "Detective, I love my daughters. I just got so angry!"

"I understand that. What happened that morning? What happened after Denise grabbed the fireplace poker?"

"I pulled it out of her hand. I swung it and it hit her in the head. I didn't even know Jackie was standing in the doorway until I heard her gasp. By then it was over."

"Start writing," Kate shoved a yellow legal tablet and a pen in front of him. "Don't leave out anything."

Kate wasn't at her desk when Castle stepped off of the elevator and walked into the bullpen with Jack on his hip. "Hey, it's Mini-Castle and Big Castle," Espo called out. Castle put the boy on the floor and he ran into Espo's arms. "Hey, buddy!"

"Where's Beckett?" Castle asked.

"Getting a confession from Arthur Newburg," Ryan told him.

"She broke him?"

"The evidence was staring him in the face. They found his daughter's body early this morning," Ryan said.

"Yeah, I know."

Kate left interrogation with Newburg's confession and had him taken back to the jail. The thought of this once seemingly good man killing one of his children made her sad. It was just so pointless. Walking around the corner by the break room, she was shocked to see Castle and Jack sitting with the boys. "Castle?"

"Mommy!" Jack held his arms out.

"Jack tried to destroy Gina's office," Castle looked sheepish.

"Why was he in Gina's office? I thought you were taking him to Helen's," she walked to her desk, waiting for Castle to get up and follow.

"Braxton got sick and she had to take him to the doctor. Mother was busy and Alexis was at work. I didn't think it was that big of a deal."

"How can you be so smart and yet so clueless at the same time when it comes to your two-year-old son?" Kate smiled. "He's just like you, Rick. He's curious."

"He also likes to climb," Castle bit his lip as Kate shook her head. "He brought down several bookshelves in the reception area."

"Well, at least he wasn't hurt," Kate faced her son. "What did you do?"

"Spiderman wanted to be high in the air."

"Of course he did," she kissed the top of his head. "Castle, I can't leave the precinct. Not even for a quick brunch. A.D.A. Reed is going to be here soon and I've got to talk to him about the Newburg case. The good news is that I should be able to make Ari's parent-teacher conference. Please call your mother to see if you can drop Jack off with her."

"Ariel's going to be in the art room with Miss Beverly. They all love Jack, Kate."

"I go to school," Jack insisted.

"Okay. I'll meet you at school at two," Kate stood up and handed Jack back to Castle before kissing them both.

***CCC***

Castle arrived at the school shortly before Kate did. He stopped by the art room where he found Ariel with her other teacher, Miss Beverly. "Daddy!" Ariel ran over to her father. "Is mommy going to be here or is she catching more bad guys?"

"Mommy is going to be here in just a few minutes. Miss Beverly, is it all right if Jack joins Ariel for art?"

"As long as you and Mrs. Castle don't have a problem with him getting messy. Ariel and I were about to do some painting. I'll find him a smock."

"Listen to me, Jack," Castle put the boy on the floor and knelt down, wincing at the pain in his legs. "You listen to Miss Beverly. You can paint or color. You don't climb on anything. Do you hear me?"

"Spiderman's at home."

"Yes, Spiderman is at home for a very good reason. Thank you, Miss Beverly. I won't be long."

"Why is Spiderman at home?" Ariel asked her little brother when he joined her at the small crafts table.

"I climb high," Jack demonstrated by reaching for the ceiling. "Then I fall! Gina mad at daddy."

"You climbed on stuff in Gina's office?" Ariel's eyes got huge. "Was it fun?"

"I climb high," Jack reiterated, nodding his head.

"I wish I had been there. I would've climbed high, too. I wouldn't let Gina get mad at my daddy."

After dropping Jack off, Castle walked to Ariel's classroom where he found the door closed. He was standing outside in the hall when he heard heels clicking on the tile floor. He smiled when he saw Kate approaching. "Miss Kathy's in with another parent," he greeted her with a kiss. "Did you get everything wrapped up with Newburg?"

"I don't want to talk about that right now. Was Miss Beverly okay with you dropping Jack off?"

"Yeah, but he's probably going to be messy. They're going to be painting."

"So, how did it go this morning?"

"Gina wants to see an outline and the first chapter before she commits to the idea of my first true crime book. She also warned me that it's going to be a lot of research and probably a lot of traveling."

"Why will you have to travel?"

"Because I have to interview the people from Tyson's past. And they're not all going to be from New York. Have you told the boys about the book?"

"No," she shook her head. "I wanted to wait to see what Gina and Paula had to say about it first. I think they'd take the news better if it came from you."

"Kate," he reached for her hands, clasping them in his own, "if you don't want me to do this, I won't. Besides, Gina very succinctly pointed out that I'm not exactly Ann Rule or Diane Fanning. These days I'm barely Richard Castle."

"Castle, if this is something that you feel that you need to do, I'm completely onboard. As for not being Richard Castle, you're still him. At least in my eyes and in the eyes of your children. That's what matters."

The door to the classroom opened before either of them had a chance to say more. Miss Kathy followed the parent out and beckoned for Rick and Kate to come in. They took seats in front of her desk. She smiled at them before pulling out Ariel's folder and opening it. "First off, I'd like to say that I wish that I had a whole classroom of Ariel's. You both can be very proud of her."

"Why do I sense a 'but' coming?" Castle looked at Kate.

"Since returning to school after winter break, I've noticed that on occasion Ariel tends to be rather brooding. I know that this is due to what happened over break, so I'm not too concerned at this time. However, there have been a couple of times where she has actually talked back to staff members. And that I can't allow."

"Why has there been nothing in her folder about this?" Kate asked, more than slightly peeved. "If I'd been made aware of this, believe me, her father and I would've been having a conversation with her about it."

"I wanted to talk to both of you, first. This has only started in the last week or so. One of the times happened when she wanted to check out a book from the library that wasn't on the approved reading list for the Kindergarten students."

"Ariel has read all of the books on that list. Many, many times," Castle told the teacher.

"I know, but the school simply doesn't allow the Kindergarten students to check out books from the lower primary grades."

"We'll talk to her about the back talking. Is there anything else?" Kate asked.

"No. Her school work is excellent. Like I said, she's a joy to have in my classroom. I'm going to miss her terribly when the school year ends."

Castle was tense when they left the classroom and walked toward the art room to get the kids and go home. "That rule about the books no sense!" He growled. "Ariel reads on a third grade level. She should be able to check those books out since she's proven that she can read them."

"Castle, what books Ari's allowed to check out is the least of my concerns right now. We can't allow her to disrespect authority figures. How do you want to handle this?"

"An earlier bedtime and take away her tablet for a week?" He suggested.

"Okay, but I was thinking that she also needs to apologize to the librarian."

"Miss Kathy said there were two instances. What was the other one?"

"I don't know. Why don't we ask our daughter?" Kate asked.

When they walked into the loft after the conference, Ari went upstairs to put her things away and change her clothes. Castle removed his son's coat, shaking his head at the streaks of paint that dotted his son's hair. "Jack, you have had a full, rich day."

"Its okay, Castle. He washes, remember?" Kate laughed, hanging her coat in the closet. "Let's go talk to our daughter."

"No!" Jack protested. "Play trains, daddy!"

"We'll play trains, buddy. Why don't you get everything ready and I'll be there in just a few minutes?"

Ari was tugging a sweatshirt over her head when her parents walked into her room. "Am I in trouble?" She asked when she saw them both standing there.

"Have a seat," Kate pointed to Ari's bed. Ari sat down and they took seats on either side of her. "Why did you talk back to the librarian?"

"I've read all of the books on the bottom shelves," Ari whined. "I wanted to check out Ramona and Beatrice. Miss Klein told me those books are for the third graders. "I told Miss Klein that my daddy lets me read those books. I told her that if she didn't let me read those books, I'd tell you to put her in jail."

"Ariel Johanna!"

"Well, she should've let me check them out!"

"Who else did you talk ugly to?" Kate gave her daughter her best interrogation room stare, the one that made many a grown man crumble and cry.

"I didn't want to go home with daddy! I wanted you to pick me up! Only you!"

"Ari, what're you talking about?"

"My seat is on the wrong side and daddy won't change it," Ariel turned to glare at Castle, who fought to keep tears out of his eyes. "You're always with the bad guys and you're never with me and Jack. I don't like riding in the car with daddy. What if the bad guys come back?"

"Ari, those bad people who took you that night are never going to hurt you again. I know that things have been hard since you and daddy got hurt. But you can't talk mean to people just because they make you do something that you don't want to do. Tomorrow I want you to apologize to Miss Klein and to Miss Kathy. Do you understand me?"

"What if they want to hurt me like the bad people did? Can I say 'no' then?"

"Yes, but that's not going to happen. I'm taking your tablet for the next week. You're also going to go to bed 30 minutes earlier for the next week. Now go play with Jack and daddy while I make dinner."

Later that night, Kate came out of the shower and saw Castle lying on their bed with ear buds in his ears and his eyes closed. His leg was propped on a pillow and she could see him taking slow, deep breaths. She crawled under their blankets and curled up against his side. His arm came around her as he continued his deep breathing. "Ariel asked me to change her booster seat to the other side of the car. It was such a simple request. I didn't realize how frightened she still is, Kate," he opened his eyes, which were glistening with moisture.

"Castle, Ari barely tolerates riding in a car with me. I switched the booster seat to the other side of the car and it helped, but I can still see how nervous she gets when I'm driving."

"I hate seeing her so broken, Kate."

"Maybe writing about Tyson will heal both of you," she softly kissed his jaw and wiped away the tears that had trailed down his face.

**A/N #3: And that ends Part II. **

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	20. The Hero Often Fails

**DISCLAIMERS: No, I still don't own anything that anybody would recognize.**

**SUMMARY: Reactions are mixed about Castle's new book idea.**

**A/N #1: The S-6 extras came out today! Needless to say, I've been somewhat distracted.**

**A/N #2: I've been asked if now that I'm working if my stories will get more cheerful. The answer is no. I'm sorry. I just don't write cheerful and fluffy.**

**A/N #3: Part III is going to be darker than the first two parts. **

**IN A CASTLE DARK OR A FORTRESS STRONG**

**PART III**

Chapter 20: The Hero Often Fails

"What's going on today, Rick? You look like you have the world on your shoulders," Dr. Swann observed her patient. Castle was sitting with his hands trapped between his legs and his head looking toward the floor.

"I got the okay to start a new book. My agent called me yesterday afternoon."

"How long has it been since you last wrote anything?"

"I finished my latest Derrick Storm book last fall. I was in the middle of working on a new Nikki Heat book when the accident happened."

"You're starting a new book without finishing your unfinished Nikki Heat book?"

"Yeah, I often have two books going at one time. If I get bored or stuck with one, I work on the other for a while. It keeps the creative processes going."

"What's your new book going to be about?"

"I'm going to write a book about the man who tried to kill me and Ariel. It's my first venture into the genre of true crime."

"Rick, are you sure that's wise? After all, you're still recovering from your injuries. That was just a couple of months ago."

"I thought you wanted me to start writing. Isn't that why you suggested the free writing?"

"I suggested the free writing for your benefit. I certainly didn't mean for you to open yourself up for what you're going to discover when you start writing about this man? What was his name? Tyson?"

"Yeah, Jerry Tyson. I've read a lot of true crime books over the years. When I read them, my focus isn't so much on the crime or the victims. I want to know what makes the killer think. What happened in his or her life to lead them to the point where they felt the need to take a life?"

"How does Kate feel about this? What about your mother and children? And your friends? Have you run this idea by any of them?"

"Kate's fine with it. We've talked about it at great length. She wants me to be whole again. Or as she's so fond of putting it, she wants the old Castle back."

"Rick, if you start exploring Tyson's life, it's going to suck you in."

"No," he stood up and began pacing the room. "I have to do this. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to explode!"

"Rick," Dr. Swann's voice was gentle, "why don't you sit down and we'll talk about something else? Tell me about Kate."

Castle stopped pacing and smiled. "What would you like to know about Kate?" He sat back down on the loveseat.

"How did you meet her?"

"At my book launch party for 'Storm Fall.' Someone was killing people like murders from some of my older books. Kate recognized the signature and she came to question me. She was so bad-ass," he shook his head at the memory. "I learned that she was a huge fan, although I didn't know how big a fan she was until much later."

"When did you know that you were in love with her?"

"I don't think there was an _actual _time. It just seemed like suddenly she was all that I could think about. We went through so much stuff together, and I think we both wanted to be together, but things always seemed to come between us. When she got shot at Capt. Montgomery's funeral, I was scared shitless that I was losing her. I begged her to stay with me; I begged her not to leave me. I told her that I loved her."

"You have a strong partnership. I can tell by the way that your eyes light up when you talk about her."

"I can't imagine my life without her in it. I told her that when I proposed to her."

"Rick, that's why you need to really know how Kate feels about this book. Because you weren't the only one who almost lost someone that night. What does Kate say about what happened that night?"

"We don't talk about it," he admitted. "Ariel still has a lot of problems and we don't want to say anything for fear that she or Jack will overhear us."

"What's going on with Ariel?"

"She has this fear of riding in a car. It doesn't seem to matter who's driving, anymore. At first she said it was because she wanted her booster seat on the opposite side of the car. So me, Kate, my mother, and Alexis switched her booster seat in our cars with Jack's. It hasn't helped much. I went to pick her up from school on Friday and it took 20 minutes to convince her to get into her seat. She went so far as asking if we could just take the subway home."

"Have she seen anybody?"

"Kate tried that route right after the accident. She told me that Ariel hated the woman and refused to even talk to her."

"She might not have been ready to talk, Rick. I know someone who's extremely good with dealing with victims of childhood trauma. I'll get you his number."

"Thank you."

***CCC***

Kate was sitting in front of her computer screen, staring into space instead of working on paperwork. She jumped a foot in the air when she heard Esposito's chair slide behind her. "Are you even here today?"

"Of course. What do you want, Espo?"

"How's the Little Chica and her sidekick, Mini-Castle? Has he destroyed any more bookshelves?"

"No, but I got a nasty text from Gina telling me and Castle that we should keep our son on a leash. I won't even repeat what Castle's response was."

"What about Little Chica? Is she doing okay?"

"My dad used to tell me that Ari was just like me. She used to be absolutely fearless. Now an act as simple as taking her to the grocery store with me almost requires a hostage negotiator just to get her into her coat. She's suddenly decided that she wants us to take the subway or the bus everywhere. We moved her booster seat to the other side of the car and that worked for a couple of days, but . . . I don't know, Javi."

"Beckett, I don't know what my reaction would be if I were in a car accident and two strangers suddenly yanked me out of my seat. She saw a lot that night, Kate. She saw things that would shake up a grown person."

"I thought that she was getting better. I thought that we were all getting better, but now Castle's going to be working on this new book—"

"What new book? I didn't know he was writing again. That's good that he wants to write, isn't it?"

"He wants to write about Jerry Tyson."

"Whoa! That son of a bitch and his crazy girlfriend are in hell where they belong. Why does he want to glorify them?"

"Because he's Castle. He wants 'the story.' He sent the outline and first chapter to Gina and Paula. Apparently the first chapter was great. I wouldn't know. He didn't want me to read it."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He told me to let him get a few more chapters finished and then he'll let me read it. Javi, I can't even remember the last time he wouldn't let me read his work."

"Does he know that we all have nightmares? I had to go back to the guy I saw after Afghanistan because I'd have nightmares where we didn't get to Ariel in time. Where that car would blow sky high with her in it."

"I know. I have them, too."

"I can still feel her arms around me, squeezing the air out of me. I can still hear her telling me about the bomb in the car. I can still hear 'Uncle Kevin, Uncle Javi' in my ears all of the time. What happened that night affected every person in this precinct. I can't believe him! What in the hell is he thinking?"

"You're asking the wrong person, Javi."

"Well, believe me, I'm going to be asking the right person," he gave her a hard look before sliding his chair back to his desk.

***CCC***

It was still bitterly cold, but now the February snows had been replaced by rain. It was a holiday from school, so Alexis had arranged to take the day off to spend time with her little brother and sister. The three of them were in a park near Alexis' Townhouse. Alexis was walking Rook on his leash with Ariel walking beside her while Jack walked a few feet ahead, stomping puddles in his galoshes. "Jack, no!" Ariel cried out as her little brother jumped in a particular large puddle.

"Muddy puddles, Sissy!"

"Jack, you're getting filthy!"

"They like muddy puddles on 'Peppa Pig,'" he looked over his shoulder, flashing his father's impish grin at his sisters.

"That's because they're pigs, dummy!"

"Hey, don't call your brother names," Alexis gently admonished her.

"He's so stupid sometimes!" Ariel did a face palm as Alexis bit back laughter. Her little sister was so melodramatic sometimes. It was at times like this Alexis could see her grandmother's influence.

"He's also only two. You were two once and so was I."

"No," Ariel shook her head. "You've been big forever."

"Believe me, I was little once like Jack. Ask daddy to show you when you get back home."

"I don't want daddy to bring the car to take us home. Why can't we walk?"

"Ariel, its five miles between my house and yours."

"So, we can take the subway. We take the subway when we go to the museum."

"The subway is fun," Alexis agreed, "but the car will get you home faster."

"The bad guys can't pull you off of the subway. Bad guys can pull you out of a car no matter where you sit."

"Lex, jump in the muddy puddles with me!"

"Jack, no more muddy puddles. We have to head back to my house soon. Daddy will be coming to pick you up soon."

"Just one more?"

"All right, one more, but a little one."

"Lex, I have an idea," Ariel's eyes lit up. "I can stay at your house and you can take me home on the subway when Brian gets home from work."

"Ariel, listen to me," Alexis knelt down, smiling when Rook nudged her hand. "There aren't any more bad guys to pull you out of the car. Those bad guys are gone."

"There are always more bad guys. Mommy goes to work every day because there are bad guys. If all of the bad guys were gone, then mommy would stay home with me, Jack, and daddy. When one bad guy goes away, he gets replaced by a bunch more."

Alexis knew that it was hard to argue with that kind of logic. "Let's go home and have grilled cheese. Then we can watch 'Frozen.'"

"No!" Jack cried out. "I want to jump in more muddy puddles!"

"He likes to pretend he's George from 'Peppa Pig,'" Ariel whispered.

"Is that his new favorite show?"

"Uh-huh. Come on, Jack," Ariel called to her brother. "Can I please stay with you until Brian gets home, Lex?"

"Ariel, even if I let you stay until Brian comes home from work, I'm not taking you home on the subway. The subway is too crowded. Do you want to help me walk Rook?"

"I do!" Jack came running up, reaching for the leash.

"Let me help, Jack. Rook likes to pull hard."

When they got back to the townhouse, Alexis made grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for her and the kids. Jack ate ravenously as if he'd been denied food for weeks, while Ariel barely touched her food. "Ariel, do you want to play dress-up after we eat lunch?"

"I want to watch 'Frozen!'" Jack called out.

"We can do what Jack wants."

"Are you sure?" Alexis asked as Ariel nodded.

After lunch, Alexis settled on the sofa with a child on either side of her and turned on the DVD player. Half an hour into the movie, Jack fell asleep, but Alexis and Ariel watched the movie until the end, singing 'Let It Go' at the top of their lungs, just like they always did when they watched 'Frozen' together. After the movie ended, Alexis noticed Ariel rubbing her eyes sleepily, so she went and got a throw from hers' and Brian's bed. Ariel curled up at the end of the sofa with her beloved Alice in one arm. Shoving her thumb into her mouth, she quickly fell asleep.

***CCC***

Leaving Dr. Swann's office, Castle pulled his cell phone from his pocket to call Alexis to let her know that he'd be by to pick up the kids soon. He was surprised to find a text message from Esposito. **'Hey bro. Ryan & I want 2 have drinks the O.H. Guess what? You're buying.'**

Castle smiled before typing back a message. **'I'll meet u at 6. Drinks r on the house.'**

He then called Kate. "Hey, it's me," he said when she answered the phone. "I just got a text from 'Sito. He and Ryan want to meet me for drinks tonight at the Old Haunt. Are you okay with that?"

"A boy's night out? You haven't done anything fun with the boys since before you got hurt. It'll be good for you to get out and let off some steam. I know that you were feeling a little caged up."

"Why don't you call mother and see if she'll watch the kids? That way you can come with," he offered.

"I really think they want to hang out with you. After all, they see me all day. One night soon, we'll get everybody together. Okay?"

"Okay. I've got to go and pick up the kids. I'll see you at home this afternoon. I love you."

"I love you, too," Kate pressed 'end' on her cell before glancing over at the boys.

The events of that night affected all of them. Like Javi had told her earlier, it had affected everyone in the precinct. It had taken Kate years to realize that they were all a family. That fact hadn't really sunk in until she'd come back on duty after being shot. She could still remember the applause when she'd entered the bullpen. It had embarrassed her, but it had also warmed her heart.

The night Castle had been injured and Ari had been taken, every cop in the city had dropped what they were doing to look for the little girl. The Chief of D's had held a press conference announcing that as far as he was concerned, Ariel Castle was the only case in New York City that night. Kate was so focused on Castle that she barely remembered what happened after Ryan and Espo returned Ari to her. She never thought to ask either of her two friends how they felt; how they were doing after what had happened. She had no idea that Espo had gone back into therapy because of what they had witnessed that night. She felt so selfish and ashamed.

***CCC***

Ariel and Jack were playing with Rook on Alexis' living room floor when the doorbell rang. Ariel jumped up and ran from the room. Alexis looked over her shoulder before going and opening the door to her father. "Daddy!" Jack jumped up from the floor and ran over to his father as Castle hoisted him into his arms.

"Hey, buddy! What're you doing?"

"Playing with Rook and Sissy."

"Where is Sissy?"

"She run away."

"She ran away?" Castle automatically corrected Jack's grammar, just as he did Ariel's when she used the wrong tense. "Where did she go?"

"I think she went into mine and Brian's bedroom," Alexis explained.

"Buddy, why don't you stay out here with Lex and Rook while I go get your sister?" Castle put Jack back on the floor and walked toward the opened bedroom door. "Ariel?" He called out when he entered the bedroom. Then he saw the closed bathroom door. He walked over and turned to knob, only to find the door locked. "Ariel? Unlock the door."

"No!" He heard her voice call out from inside. "I don't want to go home! I don't want to get in your car ever again!"

Castle looked up toward the ceiling and sighed deeply. He and Kate had been trying to pinpoint exactly when this fear of riding in the car had started. Kate had told him that she had been fine in the first weeks after the accident. Castle thought this fear had started after he'd gotten his cast removed from his leg and had once again started taking her to and from school. But getting her into the car had started becoming a tug of war while Kate was working the Newburg case. He and Kate both suspected that somehow Ariel had learned about the missing Newburg girl and her fate. "Ariel? I don't like you being in a locked room. Please unlock this door. Now."

"I'm not going home with you! Go away!"

When had his once cheerful five-year-old turned into a sullen teenager? "I'm sorry, Ariel. I can't go away."

Even though he knew his leg would pay the price, he lowered himself to the floor outside of the bathroom door. "Ariel, you don't want me to call mommy at work. Can we talk about why you're so scared of getting in the car?"

"Bad guys take little girls out of cars. Sometimes the bad guys put little girls in the trunk. It's dark in the trunk. I don't want to go there."

"Ariel, who told you bad guys put little girls in trunks?"

"The lady on the news said it."

"Ariel, mommy and I don't like you watching the news. When did you see the lady on the news?"

"At Pop-Pop's house before he changed the channel to Nick Jr. It was an accident. Don't be mad at my Pop-Pop!"

"I'm not mad at Pop-Pop, Ariel."

"Are you going to write a book about the bad man who hurt you? I heard Gram talking to mommy about it. It's a very bad idea, daddy. He was a bad, evil man."

"I know, baby. I know that you don't understand my job. You'll understand better when you're older. Ariel, I love you. Please unlock the door and come out of there."

"I don't want to get in the car," he heard her start to cry. "What if something happens to Jack? I don't want the bad man to get Jack! I told him to help you and he didn't! Daddy, there was so much blood on your head!"

Castle put his head in his hands and began to sob. But he heard the button turn on the door followed seconds later by thin arms winding around his neck. "Don't cry, daddy. I didn't mean to make you so sad." She pulled back and put her hands on either side of his face, much like Kate would often do. He put his hands down and stared into eyes that were so much like Kate's at times and like his at others. He'd never seen eyes like hers.

He wrapped his arms around her, tugging her tightly against his chest. "I love you so much, baby girl. If I could've protected you that night, I would have."

"I know."

"Ariel," he pulled her back so that she could look at him. "I will never let anything happen to you, Jack, or Lex. What happened that night was horrible. But there are no bad men out there to take you or your brother out of your car seats. You believe me, don't you?"

Ariel solemnly nodded. "If they do, I can karate chop them."

"Yeah, you can karate chop them," he smiled, hugging her again. "Come on, let's get your brother and go home."

***CCC***

The kids were in front of the TV when Kate walked in the door at 5:30. "Hi, babies," she bent down, kissing each of them on top of their heads. "When this is over, turn off the TV. Do you hear me, Ari?"

"Yes."

"Where's daddy?"

"In the bedroom. He's going out with Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi. Can we have Thai food for dinner?"

"Have you been really good?"

"Sissy wasn't. Her locked herself in Lex's bathroom."

"Shut up, Jack!"

"Hey," Kate gave Ari a stern look. "Jack, quit being a tattletale."

When she walked into hers' and Castle's bathroom, she found him in the ensuite shaving. "What was Jack saying about Ari locking herself in Lex's bathroom?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you everything when I get home."

"No, Castle. Tell me everything _now_," Kate sat on the edge of the vanity.

"She didn't want to ride home with me. She was worried about the bad men who take children out of their car seats and sometimes put them in trunks. She worried that she couldn't protect me or Jack. Dr. Swann gave me the card of one of her colleagues. He's a child psychologist."

"Rick, she hated the last one—"

"Dr. Swann said that might be because she wasn't ready to talk. Kate, I really think we should think about taking her to this guy. At least we should go and talk to him ourselves."

"I have tomorrow off. We can talk about it then. Are you taking the car service to the Old Haunt?"

"Yeah."

"Have a good time. Be careful," she leaned forward, letting her lips brush against his. "I'm going to go order Thai food for me and the kids. Do you want me to order you something?"

"No, I'll eat something with the boys."

***CCC***

When Castle walked into The Old Haunt, he waved at Brian the bartender, signaling that he wanted his usual. Kevin and Javi were already waiting for him at their usual table with a plate of Buffalo Wings and Fried Dill Pickles in front of them. "How long have you guys been here?"

"About two beers and one plate of wings ago," Espo answered. "Bro, we've been friends for a long time now, so we can speak our minds with each other, right?"

"Right," Castle answered somewhat warily.

"Dude, we heard about your idea for the Tyson book," Kevin took a swallow of his beer, looking up when Brian walked over with a beer for Castle. He waited until the bartender walked away before speaking again. "Not cool, man."

"Yeah, not cool," Espo echoed his partner.

"Guys, I'm not writing about the night of the accident. I want to know what made Tyson tick. What makes a serial killer?"

"How about that he was a deranged psychopath?" Espo snarled at Castle. "To me, it doesn't go deeper than that."

"But what made him that psychopath?"

"Dude, some people are just born bad," Ryan reached for a wing, dipping it in ranch dressing.

"I don't believe that. Not everybody who grew up in an abusive environment grows up to be a murderer or abusive themselves."

"All of his files disappeared, remember?" Espo reminded him.

"But, Neiman's didn't. Maybe I can start with her and work my way back to Tyson. Look, I know that you guys don't approve, but I have to do this for me. So that I can start to heal."

"Have you talked to Kate about this?" Espo asked him.

"She's fine with it."

"Is she really? Bro, when I talked to her this morning and she told me about the book, she wasn't in a good place. That's why I went to talk to her. She was just sitting at her desk staring into space. I don't think any of us have stopped to ask her how she felt about what happened that night. Before you get all gung-ho about your next bestseller, why don't you sit down and ask your wife what was going through her mind that night?"

"Castle, we've been closer than brothers for a long time. I don't know about Javi, but when we were on the LIE that night tracking the car that Tyson had stolen, I kept thinking that we were going to get there just a second too late. That was when I understood how you felt that day at Montgomery's funeral when you tackled Beckett just that one second too late," Ryan's eyes filled with tears. "Ariel is one of Colleen's best friends. I kept thinking about how I was going to explain how her best friend died. Just the thought broke my heart."

"Why didn't Kate tell me that she had a problem with me writing the book?"

"Because she loves you, bro," Espo told him. "I think if you'd let her read what you've written so far, she'd feel a little better. I think she gets the feeling that you're hiding things from her."

"Let me get one more chapter written and I'll make copies for all of you. Okay?"

"Okay, I can live with that," Ryan nodded.

"Yeah, okay," Espo agreed.

***CCC***

Kate had fallen asleep on the sofa while reading. Castle smiled at the sight of her when he walked into the loft just before midnight. He walked over and knelt down, nuzzling her neck until she woke up. "Hey, Castle. What time is it?"

"Almost midnight. I'm going to go and take a shower. Would you care to join me?"

Instead of the furious romp that usually ensued when they showered together, this time Castle was so gentle with her, paying attention to every single inch of skin as she moaned and shuddered against him. When they got out, he carefully dried her off and dressed her in her favorite t-shirt and sleep shorts before taking her hand and leading her to their bed and helping her under the insanely soft bedding. She then felt his arms come around her as he spooned himself around her. "Did you have fun with the boys?" Her voice was slurred and sleepy.

"Go to sleep. We'll talk about everything tomorrow. I love you so much, Kate," he kissed her neck.

"Love you, too."

**A/N #4: Ariel's problems with the car won't be solved quite that easily. It's going to be a process.**

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	21. The Hero Should've Been Me

**DISCLAIMERS: I own many things, but unfortunately, 'Castle' isn't among those things.**

**SUMMARY: Castle takes Kate away for a weekend, where they finally discuss the events of that night and his plans for the new book. They also make plans to get help for Ariel. Oh, this is an M-rated chapter.**

**A/N #1: I want to thank everybody the great feedback and reviews for the previous chapter. Every review in my email inbox makes me so happy. You guys are the best.**

**A/N #2: I start my new job on Saturday. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, although I'm not thrilled about spending six hours on my feet. I'll tweet all about it on Sunday.**

Chapter 21: The Hero Should've Been Me

Kate wanted to wake up, but her whole body was so relaxed. She vaguely remembered Castle helping her into bed the previous night after making love to her in the shower. He'd fallen asleep with his arm casually cast over her stomach, both of them gravitating toward the middle of the bed, like they usually did. What was different about last night was every time Kate tried to move to her side of the bed, Castle would reach for her, drawing her tightly against him. This was a sign that he was having a rough night, so she didn't fight it. Instead she put her hands over his, clasping them against her and letting sleep pull her completely under.

But now it was morning. She could feel the brightness of the room pressing against her eyelids. She opened her eyes, smiling when she saw bright blue eyes peeking at her over the top of the mattress. She patted the mattress beside her as her two-year-old son climbed up on the bed, snuggling against her. Every time she felt his warm body against her, she marveled at the fact that this beautiful little boy had been created by her and Castle. "You're up early. Did you and daddy take Sissy to school?" She kissed the top of his head.

"Daddy and I make you breakfast," he boasted proudly.

"You did? Well, give me a few minutes and I'll get up."

"No, you wait here," he pointed at her before sliding off of the bed and running from the room. "Daddy! Mommy's awake! Stay there, mommy!"

"I'm not going anywhere, Jack," she called back, wondering what mischief her husband and son were up to.

Moments later, Castle walked into the room carrying a tray with Jack trailing behind him. "See? We make breakfast." Jack got back onto the bed, settling against his mother's side.

"Wow, this looks wonderful," Kate smiled as Castle placed the tray over her legs. She could see that Castle had gone all out. The tray contained pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, and coffee. "Are you going to help me eat this?" She smiled down at Jack.

"Jack has already had his breakfast," Castle sat on the bed by her legs, placing a hand on her knee. "Speaking of children having had their breakfast, your daughter wanted to have green curry for breakfast before school. I convinced her that Cheerios was a much wiser breakfast choice."

"Did you get her to school all right?" She asked him, watching his face. She could always tell when he was lying and she also knew how difficult it had been to get Ari into a car the past couple of weeks.

"Well, I got her into her coat and I got her into the elevator. Then we made it to the parking garage and as far as the car. It all kind of fell apart from there. I did finally manage to get her into the car, but it wasn't easy and she barely got to class on time."

"Sissy wanted to ride on the train," Jack looked up at his mother.

"Did you want to ride on the train, Jack?"

"I'm not Jack," he smiled.

"You're not?" Kate was amused. "Then who are you?"

"I'm George Pig."

"Oh, no. I'm going to miss my Jack the Bear."

"You're silly, mommy," he giggled as Kate and Castle both laughed.

"So are you," she handed him some blueberries, which he promptly popped into his mouth. "You and daddy made me such a good breakfast."

"Hey buddy, why don't you go play with your cars and trucks so that mommy can finish her breakfast?" Castle suggested as Jack climbed off of the bed and ran from the room. "Kate, what are we going to do about Ariel? I'm worried that her meltdowns are going to start rubbing off on Jack."

"Let's call that doctor that Dr. Swann recommended. We'll see if we can make an appointment to meet with him. Were you okay last night?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You didn't want to let me out of arm's reach." She watched him as his eyes cast down toward the comforter on the bed. "Rick? Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I was thinking last night after you went to sleep. I talked to mother this morning and she's going to watch the kids this weekend so that you and I can go to the Hamptons house for the weekend. We have some things that we need to talk about."

"Castle, everything's fine," she smiled at him.

"No, Kate," he shook his head. "Everything's _not _fine. I got an earful from the boys last night. I'm not angry at you. But things can't go back to the way that they were before we got together when our lives consisted of subtext and mixed signals. But I don't want to discuss this right now. I'm going to go play with Jack and let you enjoy your breakfast," he got up from the bed and leaned over to press his lips to her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

After eating breakfast, showering and dressing, Kate took the card that Castle had gotten from his therapist and dialed. The phone was answered by a pleasant sounding young woman. She told Kate that the doctor had an opening to speak to her and Castle Monday afternoon at four. She told her to come in at least an hour early to fill out paperwork.

When she came back out into the living room, she stopped to watch Castle and Jack both sprawled on their stomachs on the living room rug, cars, trucks, blocks, and plastic track scattered around them. Castle loved playing with his kids; be it laser tag with Alexis, tea parties with Ari or Manhattan Gridlock with Jack. "It's a major traffic jam," Castle told his son.

"Oh no," Jack slapped his head. "We'll be stuck for hours!"

"Can I play?" Kate knelt down beside Castle.

"No girls, mommy!"

"Hey, we need a traffic cop," Castle smiled at Jack.

"Okay," Jack agreed rather reluctantly.

The two adults and the little boy played for another hour or so until Jack got bored and wanted to play in his room. Since Castle had helped him make the mess, he helped him clean it up, placing the vehicles in his backpack, and the rest where it belonged. "I think that we should have 10 more just like him," Castle announced, collapsing on the sofa as his knee audibly popped, making both of them wince.

"The day that you can push them out of your body, we'll have 10 more. Until then, you're SOL," Kate sat down and took his hand in hers. "Dr. Franklin will see us Monday at four. The receptionist told me to be there an hour early to fill out paperwork."

"What're you going to tell Ariel?"

"I'm not telling her anything until after we talk to Dr. Franklin. What exactly did she say yesterday when she hid from you at Alexis'?"

"I'll tell you all about it this weekend. I don't want to say anything where Jack can hear us."

"We can talk in the tub tonight," she suggested.

"Okay," he leaned his head on her shoulder.

"Castle, she's going to be okay."

***CCC***

More rain clouds were on the horizon when Kate waited outside of the front doors of Ari's school waiting for school to be dismissed. She heard the final bell, followed seconds later by the doors pushing open and a sea of children exiting, heading for nearby school buses or to the safety of their parents. The Kindergarten class was almost always the last to exit, since they were led out by their teachers. She smiled when she saw Ari walking out, holding onto one of Miss Kathy's hand while another child held onto the other. Ari's smile was huge when she spotted her mother. "Mommy!" Ari flew into Kate's arms.

Kate lifted Ari into her arms, feeling her daughter's thin legs wrapping around her waist. "Thank you, Miss Kathy," Kate smiled.

"Have a good evening, Ariel. I'll see you tomorrow."

Walking across the grounds and to her car in the parking lot, Ari cheerfully chattered about her day at school, about what her different classmates had done and which boy had tried to chase her on the playground today. "Let's not tell daddy about the boys chasing you on the playground," Kate smiled as they approached the car. She instantly felt Ari stiffen up. "Ari? Ariel, it's okay," she put the terrified little girl on the ground. "Ari, you need to breathe," Kate knelt down in front of her daughter. "Would you like to know something? A secret about mommy?"

"What?" Ari stared at her mother, her breathing rapid.

"I get scared sometimes, too. I'm going to tell you something that Uncle Javi told me a long time ago. You trust what Uncle Javi says, don't you?"

"Yes," Ari nodded.

"Ari, this is just a car. And this," she opened the back door and touched Ari's booster seat, "is just a seat. They're things, Ari. They're not magical things like in the movies. They're just normal, ordinary things. They can't hurt you. Now I'm going to put you in your seat and I'm going to strap you in, just like I always do. Then I'm going to get behind the wheel and start the car. But before I do that, I'm going to make sure all of our doors are locked. Now, is it hard or easy to get in a door that's locked?"

"Hard."

"Okay then," Kate smoothed Ari's long hair and lifted her into the booster seat and strapping her in. "What would you like to listen to while we ride home?"

"Pink," Ari smiled.

"All right then. Pink, it is," Kate found the CD and slipped it into the player.

Later that night long after the kids were tucked into their beds, Castle slipped into a warm bath, helping Kate into the warm water with him. She sighed as she leaned back against his chest and felt his arms come around her. "Ariel saw something on the news about Denise Newburg," Castle's voice echoed off of the walls. "So now she thinks that not only do bad guys pull little girls from their car seats, but they also put them into trunks."

"I thought that she was going to have a full-blown panic attack this afternoon when I picked her up at school. I told her what Javi told me so long ago. Do you remember when I told you?"

"Yeah," he remembered how close she'd been to falling apart during the Lee Travis sniper case so long ago. He'd urged Esposito to talk to her since he was the only person with even a clue as to what Kate was feeling at the time. "Did it work?"

"This time. I think we're both running out of tricks, Castle."

"I think reminding her that the car is just a tool was good. See? You've got this whole mom thing down," he kissed her neck, feeling her shudder against him.

"Well, I've had five years to perfect the craft. Is it always going to be this hard?"

"I don't know. Alexis' only major trauma when she was little was the usual monsters under the bed. I armed her with a flashlight and all was right with her world. I've never had to deal with anything like this."

***CCC***

"When are you going to be back?" Ari was sitting on the vanity watching Kate put on her makeup. Castle had made early dinner reservations and then they were going to go to the Hamptons.

"Sunday before you and Jack go to bed. You're going to have a great time with Gram. Tomorrow she's going to take you and Jack shopping."

"Why can't Jack and I go with you?"

"Ari, daddy and I have to talk about some grown up things. Things that we can't talk about in front of you and your brother."

"Are you getting a divorce?"

"No, sweetie. It's nothing that you need to worry about," Kate turned toward her daughter.

"Then why do you have to go to the Hamptons to talk? Jack and I can stay in our rooms."

"Ari, I promise that the very second that the weather gets warm enough, we will all go to the Hamptons as a family. We'll go looking for seashells on the beach and if it's warm enough, we'll even have a picnic. Okay?"

"Will you call every day while you're gone?"

"Ari, daddy and I are going to be gone for just two short days. But yes, I promise that we will call tonight when we get there and you can talk to both of us in the morning. And if you need to talk to us, you know how to call us. You're going to be fine. If you get scared to get into Gram's car, just remember what I told you. The car and your booster seat are just things. Gram will make sure that all of the doors in the car are locked. Can you do that for me?"

"I'll try," Ari bit down on her lip, a habit she'd gotten from her mother.

"That's my girl," Kate ran her blusher brush over Ari's face as the little girl giggled in delight.

"Can I have some lip gloss, too?"

"When you're 16."

"Come on, mom," Ari whined.

"You're not old enough for makeup. Come on, lets' go see what daddy and Jack are doing."

Castle looked up and smiled when Kate exited his office with Ariel in tow. She was wearing a gorgeous purple dress that brought out the green in her eyes. She had paired them with a pair of five-inch purple velvet heels. "You're pretty, mommy," Jack complimented her.

"You're so sweet. Thank you."

"Mother will be here any minute. Is Ariel wearing makeup?"

"I lightly ran my blusher over her face. It'll wash off."

Castle was about to say something further when they heard Martha's key in the loft, followed seconds later by the vivacious redhead walking in, making an entrance, as usual. The kids instantly ran over to her, embracing her excitedly. Every time Kate saw how exuberantly the kids welcomed their grandmother, it made her long for her own mother. She knew that Johanna Beckett would've adored being a grandmother. "We will back Sunday by five," Castle told Martha. "Do not stuff them full of junk over the weekend."

"What fun is being a grandmother if I can't stuff my grandchildren full of candy and pop?"

"I have two words for you, mother. Projectile vomiting," he pointed toward Jack. "He makes Regan in 'The Exorcist' look like a piker."

"It's pretty gross," Ariel added, nodding sagely.

"Okay, so no junk food binges," Martha sighed. "Be careful, you two. We'll see you Sunday afternoon. 

"Have fun and mind grandma," Kate kissed first Ari and then Jack.

"Bye, mommy. Bye, daddy," Jack rubbed his face where Kate had kissed him.

"Do you promise that you'll be back Sunday at five?" Ariel clasped her father around his legs, staring up at him.

"We will be back Sunday afternoon, baby girl. I promise," Castle lifted her into his arms, kissing her soft cheek. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Ariel wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

It was almost eight o'clock by the time they finished dinner and headed for the Hamptons. Kate quickly called Martha, who put both of the kids on before they went to bed. After ending the call, she put her seat back a little and closed her eyes. She knew that it would be close to one in the morning before they reached the house. "Are you sure that you don't want me to drive?" She asked sleepily.

"No, I'm good. Get some sleep."

Kate wrapped her coat around her shoulders and tucked herself into the seat. Castle smiled, remembering how long it had taken Kate to trust his driving. It really meant a lot now after he'd almost killed their daughter. He played with the Sirius radio until he found an 80's channel. Cracking the window to let in some air, he continued toward their destination.

Kate opened her eyes when she felt their speed reduce. "Where are we?" She struggled to wake up, looking around at her surroundings in the darkness. "Are we in Southampton?"

"In just a few minutes. How'd you sleep?"

"I had a dream that I was at a Van Halen concert."

"Oh, I was listening to the 80's channel on Sirius. You know, Hair Bands."

"I know. It's okay, Castle. At least it wasn't the Page Brothers."

"Hey, come on. 'Get on the Floor' was destined to be a classic," he grinned, remembering the rapping brothers they'd met during one of their earlier cases.

"It always smells so good out here."

"I know. That's what I always loved about it when I first bought the house. The smell of the ocean and the sound of it. I never get tired of it."

Castle pulled into the drive of the Hamptons house almost 45 minutes later. Kate groaned when she stepped out of the car after he'd opened her door for her. He slipped his arm around her waist, guiding her into the house after he'd unlocked the door.

They were both so exhausted that they fell into bed soon after changing into nightclothes. Kate cuddled close to Castle and drifted away to the feel of his breath on the back of her neck and his arm slung over her, just like always.

She wasn't sure how long she slept before awakening suddenly. She rolled over and saw Rick lying on his back, staring at the ceiling in the darkness. Years of sleeping beside him had her attuned to the nights when he wasn't asleep, just as he always knew when she was awake. She propped herself up on one elbow as he turned his eyes toward her. "Are you okay? Are you in pain?" She knew that the combination of the cold, dampness, and the long drive couldn't be good for his leg.

"No, I just couldn't sleep. I was going to get up and write, but I didn't want to wake you up."

"Well, I'm awake now," she moved closer, laying her head on his shoulder and stroking his chest with her fingers.

He stilled her fingers with his hand, as she glanced up at him. "The boys made it pretty clear that they don't want me to write the book. 'Sito said that you felt that way, too. Is that true?"

"I know why you feel the need to write it," Kate sat up in their bed. "My misgivings about the book aren't about me, Rick. I worry about what it could do to you. The accident was just two months ago. You're still trying to heal, mentally and physically. I want us to move forward as a family and put Tyson and Neiman out of our heads. Jack's still little enough so that he doesn't understand what you write about. But Ari does. She's bright and inquisitive. I'm not sure if she's going to understand why you want to write about the man who tried to kill the two of you."

"Kate, if you don't want me to write about him, I won't do it."

"Castle, I'm not saying that I don't want you to do it; I'm just saying to shelve it for a month or two. Tell Gina that you need a little more time. That way you can get some more healing done and we can get Ari the help that she needs."

"Well, she's given me a deadline of May first for the first three chapters. I can get an extension. She won't like it, but I'm used to that," he played with her fingers, always in awe of how small her hand was compared to his. "That night must've been hell for you. Worrying about whether I was going to survive. Worrying that they wouldn't find Ariel in time."

Kate's breath hitched as she tried to prevent herself from crying. She didn't want to talk about that night, especially not at four o'clock in the morning. Her thinking processes had been so muddled that night that she wasn't even sure at time if she was thinking. She had just existed. She didn't remember calling Martha, Alexis, or her father, but suddenly they were all there. "Castle—" she fought to keep her voice from breaking.

"Hey, it's okay. But that is one of the things that we need to talk about. Come here," he motioned her back down to him, letting his lips drift over hers, swallowing her shaky sob on a gentle kiss.

***CCC***

Kate didn't remember going back to sleep. It was still early, but light was starting to filter through the French doors leading outside. She noticed one of the doors was opened slightly, so she knew that Castle was outside. She got out of bed and slipped into her robe before walking out onto the cold patio floor. She stepped up behind Castle and slipped her arms around him from behind, standing on tip-toe to press a kiss to the back of his neck. "Did you go back to sleep?"

"For a couple of hours. I called mother and talked to the kids. I told Ariel that you would call her when you woke up."

"Let me take a shower and I'll call them. Then I'll cook us breakfast," she kissed him again before going back into the house.

Castle stayed on the patio after Kate had gone back into the house, staring out at the horizon. But his mind wasn't on what was in the distance. Instead his mind was on a cold December night and the sounds of his daughter's shrieks of terror as two psychos' stole her into the night. He could remember the fire department arriving. He remembered someone placing a yellow tarp over him as machinery fired to life. He figured it had to be the Jaws of Life cutting him out of the car. He could remember telling them that Ariel had been taken, but his words had no sound to them. It wasn't until Kate arrived that he was finally able to articulate the horrifying news about Ariel. _"You have to find her, Kate! They're going to kill her if you don't!" _He could remember saying those same words over and over.

He didn't remember anything that happened once they reached the hospital. His next clear memory was waking up, unable to breathe, but looking into the huge, frightened eyes of Ariel as she hugged him tight. He remembered her tears soaking the hospital gown that he was wearing. He remembered his tears mixing with hers, soaking into her hair. He remembered being angry at Kate for allowing their daughter to see him like that.

He walked into the bedroom and into the bathroom, smiling at Kate as she stepped out of the shower, toweling her hair off. "Let's take a walk on the beach after breakfast," he suggested as he began to undress.

"Okay," she stepped up, brushing her lips against his. "Is French toast okay for breakfast?"

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll be down in a few minutes."

When Castle came downstairs 20 minutes later, he could hear Kate's voice. "Sweetie, I'm sorry that you hurt your finger. Did Gram kiss it and make it better?"

Yes, but it still hurts!" He heard Jack's voice on Kate's speakerphone. "Come home and kiss it, mommy!"

"Jack, by the time I get back home, your finger will feel all better. Tell Gram to put a Spiderman band-aid on it and I'll kiss it for you tomorrow when I get home. Let me talk to your sister."

"Hi, mommy," Ari's voice came over the phone. "What're you doing?"

"Making daddy breakfast. What're you doing?"

"Nothing. Jack hurt his finger."

"I know. He told me all about it."

"I miss you, mommy."

"I miss you too, sweetie. But we'll be home tomorrow. Have a good time with Gram. Help her keep an eye on Jack."

"I will. Bye, mommy."

"Bye, sweetie."

"What did Jack do to his finger?" Castle walked into the kitchen.

"The toy box lid fell on it. Martha said he's okay."

"I'll talk to your dad about fixing that lid."

After breakfast and washing dishes, Kate and Castle both donned hooded sweatshirts before setting off for the beach. The sun was shining, but it was windy and cool. As they walked side by side, Castle reached out for Kate's hand, clasping it in his and placing both of their hands in his hoodie pocket. "How often do you think about that night?" He asked as they walked on the hard-packed sand.

"Every minute of every day. When I heard you say that they had grabbed Ari, I think my heart stopped. I was so torn," she stopped walking to look at him. "Gates wanted me to go with you, but you wanted me to look for Ari. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to be with both of you. I wanted to be the one to comfort you, but I also wanted to be the one to find Ari."

"You did what you needed to do, Kate. Maybe it sounds selfish, but I wanted you to ride with me to the hospital. I was so scared and having you there to hold my hand made everything less scary."

"I can't help thinking about what kinds of thoughts were going through Ari's mind while she was in their clutches," Kate stared at her feet. "She had to sit there and listen to them call her daddy names, and talk about what they were going to do to her."

"I did some Google research about Dr. Franklin before you woke up this morning. He's good, Kate. I read reviews from the medical magazines and they all sing his praises. He's been a renowned child psychologist for more than 15 years. He has all kinds of awards and commendations. It looks like he's the best."

"That's good because I want her to have the best," she looked up and gave him a watery smile. "I miss our Ari, Castle. I miss that funny little girl who'd dance around and make up silly songs."

"We're going to get that little girl back, Kate," he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a warm embrace. "I promise that we're going to get her back."

When they got back to the house, they curled up together under a throw at the end of the sofa with a blazing fire going in the fireplace. "It was the longest night of my life," he looked down at Kate when he heard her speak. "I don't even remember calling anybody. It seemed like one second I was waiting outside of the operating room alone, and then your mother, Alexis, and my dad were all there."

"Maybe Gates called them."

"No, my father told me that he'd gotten my call, but I wasn't making a lot of sense. Alexis told me that I kept repeating the same words over and over. Your name, Ari, and an accident. She said the same thing that my dad said. That I wasn't making any sense. About an hour into the waiting, I remembered Ari's watch. The one that you'd gotten her for her birthday," she looked into his eyes as he nodded. "I called Helen, because she was staying at the loft with Jack. I asked her to search Ari's jewelry box for it and I was so thankful when she said that it wasn't there."

"The boys told me that was how they ended up tracking Tyson's car. Do you know how long it was before you saw her again?"

"No," she shook her head. "It felt like a lifetime. I remember Capt. Gates telling us that the boys had found her and that they were bringing her to the hospital. I asked her if she was hurt and she told me that she didn't think so from the way that Ari was screaming when she was trying to talk to Ryan and Espo. I just wanted to see her, Castle. I wanted to see her and hold her. I needed to feel her again."

Castle held her tighter to him, feeling her shake with silent sobs. He knew that night had to have been a living nightmare for her. Kate had carried their daughter in her body, close to her heart for nine months only to have her almost stolen from her so violently. "What happened when you finally saw her again?" He whispered into her hair.

"The doctor had just come out to tell me that you'd be out of surgery soon," she wiped her face. "I think that I sensed she was near before I actually saw her. I looked toward the end of the hall and I saw Ryan step off of the elevator, carrying her in his arms." She smiled at the memory of seeing Ari for the first time after the accident. "I saw Kevin whisper something in her ear and then he put her on the floor. I was down on the floor and she hit me like a linebacker for the Giants. She hit me so hard that we both fell over. She was holding onto me so tight, Castle. Her face was bleeding and so were her hands. Then I saw that one of her pant legs was covered in blood. I remember taking her downstairs to the ER and letting a resident look at her. She was holding this filthy stuffed rabbit in her hands and she wouldn't let the doctor take it. There was no light in her eyes, Castle."

"She was in shock."

"The only words that would come out of her mouth were 'Where's my daddy?' She kept asking me that over and over. I told her that the doctor was making you better. She didn't believe me. The next day when she was at Alexis', she accused us of lying to her about your condition. She thought that you were dead and we were afraid to tell her."

"That's why you brought her to the hospital that day," he closed his eyes and sighed.

"That night was hard on the boys. The only thing Kevin has ever told me was they didn't know how they were going to break the news to me if they hadn't found her. Javi told me the other day that he had to start seeing his therapist again. He said that he couldn't deal with the nightmares."

"Kate, I don't want to hurt any of you. But writing is how I deal with things. It always has been. I can put this on hold for a little while, but I can tell you from experience that it isn't going to go away."

"I just want to help you heal," she touched his face. "If writing about Jerry Tyson is what it takes to help you heal, then that's what you need to do."

They remained curled up on the sofa, talking amid intermittent kisses and touches. Spending quiet time like this with her husband was among her favorite things to do. While she loved being a mom more than life itself, sometimes it was nice to be able to connect with Castle without constant interruptions. "I should've been the hero for both of you," she blurted out as Castle stilled his fingers.

"Kate, no," he tilted her chin up to look at him. "You were the hero that night. If you hadn't remembered Ariel's watch, I hate to think of what they would've done to her. You saved her life."

"Castle, I should've been the one that she ran to when Neiman threw her out of that car. I was the one that should've comforted her when she was screaming!"

"Hey, you were where you needed to be."

"Castle, you don't understand!" She got up and walked over to the French doors. "I'm Ari's mom! I'm the one who's supposed to pick her up when she falls, or kisses her cuts and scrapes to make her feel better. I'm not supposed to leave that job to my co-workers! I should've been on the LIE that night, not Ryan and Esposito!"

Castle had been waiting two months for this meltdown to happen. He'd seen hints that it was on the horizon, but Kate held everything in until she was about to burst. She always had and he suspected that she always would. It all went back to being that scared 19-year-old who'd been forced to take care of herself in the wake of a murdered mother and an alcoholic father who was so blinded by his own rage and grief that he couldn't or wouldn't see what was happening to his own daughter. Even after so long together, Kate still had problems letting Castle be the strong one.

He got off of the sofa and walked over to her, pulling her close as she clung to the back of his shirt. "Ariel was so happy to see you, Kate. And believe me when I tell you that she understood why you weren't there when she came out of that car."

"How could she understand, Castle? She's five and her mother wasn't there when she needed her. I can't do to her what my mother did to me."

"Kate, you're talking about two entirely different sets of circumstances," he pulled her back slightly to look at her. "Your mother didn't have a choice in the matter. Death pulled her from you. You weren't dead that night, Kate. If you could've been there, you would've been there. But I needed you that night too, Kate. I might not have known that you were there, but it doesn't mean that I needed you less. Sometimes as a parent you have to make choices. Sometimes those choices aren't the easiest to live with. But you do what you have to."

"What would I do without you?" She wrapped her arms around his waist once again, pressing her wet cheek into his chest.

"You'd be miserable and still dealing with walls that are 20 feet high."

"You're probably right."

"Probably right? I ask you, who else would've even tried tearing down those walls that you put up?"

"Nobody, because I was never with anyone else who was persistent enough or nosy enough," she teased him.

Later that evening, Castle was lying in their bed reading an old Le Carre novel. He kept one ear tuned to the bathroom, waiting for the water to shut off. After her meltdown earlier that afternoon, Kate had returned to the sofa with Castle where they lazed away the rest of the afternoon. Castle made them Chef's Salad for dinner and then they relaxed by the fireplace with glasses of wine. Before going upstairs to bed, they had called the loft and spoken to both kids. Jack reported that his finger still hurt, but Alexis had come over and made chocolate chip cookies, which helped in the mending process. Ariel asked once again what time they would be home. She seemed to relax when they told her once again five o'clock.

Hearing the bathroom door open, Castle smiled when he saw Kate sauntering across the bedroom, with her hair damp from her shower and wearing nothing but a towel knotted around her upper body. And it wasn't one of their bath sheets either, Castle smiled. It was a regular bath towel, which barely skimmed Kate's ass and left absolutely nothing to the imagination. The closer she got to the bed, the further south the blood in his body seemed to travel. He quickly marked his place in his book and went to place it on his nightstand, only to miss, falling with a thud to the floor by the bed.

Kate bit her lip and crawled up onto the bed and straddled Castle, who looked like he'd suddenly forgotten how to breathe. "Breathe, Rick," she moved closer to him, instantly feeling his arms come around her. Their mouths met and the duel of lips, tongues, and teeth began. Kate slapped Castle's hand away when he reached to untangle the towel that wasn't really hiding anything. "Not yet."

"Kate," he whined into her mouth.

She sat up and smiled at him, her lips swollen from his kisses. "You can have me _after _I'm done with you."

"Okay," he managed to stammer as she reached for the bottom of his t-shirt and lifted it over his head.

She then scooted further down his body, tugging at his boxers as she moved. He was almost completely hard just from the image of watching her cross the room wearing nothing but that extremely skimpy bath towel. Keeping her eyes locked on his, Kate skimmed her fingers down the insides of both of his thighs, studiously watching his facial expressions as she touched him. She loved the way that his eyes would darken from their usual baby blue to almost black as he became more and more aroused.

Kate moved forward, once again capturing his lips with her own, her tongue exploring his mouth, swallowing his moan of pleasure. Her lips then traveled down to his jaw and neck, as she gently nipped at his skin. He closed his eyes and sighed when he felt her lips blazing a trail down his chest and stomach. He was now so hard that he was throbbing, but still she was taking her time. Just when he was about to beg her to touch him, take him in her mouth, anything to put his out of the agony and ecstasy that he was in, he felt her fingers close around him, stroking him slowly, her thumb brushing over his tip. "Kate," her voice came out of his lips as a strangled moan.

"Hmmm?" She continued kissing his chest and stroking his rock hard cock.

"If you don't do something soon, I'm going to make one hell of a mess." He could feel her grin against his bare chest and knew exactly what she was doing. "Please, Kate?"

"You know what they say, Castle? All good things come to those who wait."

"Oh, somebody's going to be coming in a minute, that's for damn sure."

Feeling her lips move down to the inside of his thigh, he arched his back off of the bed. It took every bit of self-control not to come like a 15-year-old schoolboy right at that moment. He felt her hand move from his cock to his balls. He then felt her warm, wet tongue barely brush over his tip as he jerked once again. He knew that the second he was in her mouth that it was going to be all over.

Kate also sensed that he was close, so she tightened her grip on him to slow things down. After she saw that Castle had regained some sense of control, she once again drew him into her mouth, taking him in deeper, savoring the feel of him, the taste of him against her tongue. She could feel his fingers massaging the back of her scalp as she moved up and down on him, feeling him pulse against the inside of her mouth. She could feel wetness building up between her thighs, her core pulsating as she orally ministered to Castle. Going down on him was always such a turn-on to her. She loved the way that she could make him react to her mouth, whether it was with ice cubes or without. Listening to the sounds that he was making, she knew that he was close, so she redoubled her efforts. She heard him cry out, followed seconds later by him coming in her mouth.

Castle was sweat-soaked and incredibly satiated by the incredibly intimate act Kate had just performed on him. He was still trying to get his breath when he felt her get off of the bed. He heard water running in the bathroom, followed seconds later by the bed once again dipping under Kate's weight. He opened his eyes and smiled when he saw that she was still wearing that little bitty towel. "Can I unwrap you now?" He asked as she bit her lip and nodded.

He reached his fingers into the top of the towel and pulled it away from where it was tucked into her body. Once the towel fell to the bed, Castle picked it up and tossed it toward the floor. He then pulled her close and rolled them so that he was hovering over her. She smiled when his lips came over hers, his kiss alternating between soft and more demanding. She groaned when his fingers closed over her breast, his thumb and forefinger urging her nipple to full hardness. He then repeated the same thing on her other breast. Her groans intensified as Castle continued playing with her breasts. Her breasts had always been extremely sensitive and Castle took full advantage of that fact.

Leaving her mouth, smiling at her whimper of disappointment, Castle kissed his way down to her breasts, encasing first one and then the other into his mouth, tugging on her nipples with his lips and gently biting as she wrapped her hands into his hair, holding him closer. She could feel his fingers tracing the long scar on her left side, gradually moving lower as her legs instinctively opened wider for him. "Patience, my lovely detective," he smiled against her breasts. "You don't think I'm going to give you relief that easily, do you? After the torture that you just put me through?"

"Castle, please? I'm so close."

"I know you are. But never interrupt a man when he's having a snack."

"Seriously? You're on my boobs more than the kids were when they were nursing."

She heard his cackle of laughter as he moved back up her body to stare down into her eyes. "I can't help it. I told you it's biological. Besides, I happen to be extremely attractive to your boobs."

"Would you hurry and finish your snack then so that you can get to the entre?" She pushed his head back down to her breasts.

Between the kisses and the caresses, Kate was about to come out of her skin with want and desire. A non-stop litany of sighs and blasphemies were pouring out of her mouth. She felt Castle's tongue leaving a wet trail down her abdomen, stopping when he reached her thighs.

Every time they made love, Castle always had to ponder that this beautiful woman was in his bed. That all of the men in the world that she could have had, she'd chosen to be with him. It never failed to take his breath away. She was panting and keening with the desire for him to touch her, to make her come completely undone under his lips and tongue. He loved to listen to her when she shattered around him or under him. One thing he could say about their sex life was that it had never been quiet. They both loved nothing better than to make the other scream.

She was so warm and so wet. Rick knew that he'd never tire of being with her, never get bored with solving the mystery that was his beautiful Kate. He used his hands to press her thighs even further apart and barely touched the flat of his tongue to her as she screamed and arched her back off of the bed like a cat. "Oh, shit! Yes!" She pulled on her breasts when she felt Castle start to seriously work her into a frenzy with his very talented tongue.

Castle knew that Kate was close by the way that her thighs were trembling under his hands. He flicked the tip of his tongue over her engorged clit, earning another scream of pleasure from his wife. He then clamped his lips over it and gently sucked on it before nipping at it with his teeth.

Kate was alternating between pulling on her nipples and trying to gain purchase with her heels on the sheets. She could feel Castle desperately trying to keep her still, but she was all over the place. She could feel the most unbearable tension building up in her pelvis. She wanted it to burst forth and keep building all at the same time. That tension was radiating down to her thighs and between her legs, especially that one spot that Castle was paying such close attention to with his lips, tongue, and teeth. She felt him slowly insert two fingers into her and move them up to that sweet spot inside of her. Castle had been the only man who had actually taken the time to find that spot that could make her come multiple times. "Oh fuck, Castle! I'm so close! Harder!"

Castle was only too happy to oblige her. He sucked a little harder on her clit and moved the two fingers inside of her a little faster. He felt the sudden increase of wetness over his fingers and felt Kate press him tighter against her as she came hard. Her screams echoed in the quiet bedroom as Castle slowly brought her down from her orgasm.

She had her eyes closed and was panting for breath when she felt him rejoin her on their pillows. She opened her eyes and gave him a bright smile as they kissed softly. "That must be what they mean by mind blowing sex," she was still fighting to catch her breath as they continued sharing kisses and caresses.

"That was just the appetizer," he kissed her shoulder. "I'm not sure I have enough energy for the main course."

"I'll wake you up in an hour for round two," she rolled over, wrapping her leg around him.

"Sounds good. Do you want to cover up?" He mumbled sleepily.

"Not cold, Castle."

***CCC***

"What time is it now?" Ariel asked, pacing up and down the living room floor.

"It's five minutes later than the last time that you asked," Martha told her granddaughter patiently.

"What if mommy and daddy are really late?"

"You, my dear, are going to have gray hair by the time you're eight if you don't stop worrying so much," Martha admonished the little girl.

Ariel was about to say something else when she heard a key in the front door. Seconds later, the door opened as her parents entered the room. "Mommy! Daddy! You came back!" Ariel raced to her mother first.

"Sweetie, we told you that we'd be back," Kate looked across the room at Martha, who just gave a slight headshake. "Where's Jack?"

"He went to the museum with Brian and Lex."

"You didn't go?" Kate frowned. "Ari, you love the museum."

"They wouldn't take the subway," Martha said. "Miss Ariel has decided that she's only safe in your car or her daddy's."

Kate looked at Castle and then her mother-in-law. She knew that they had to get Ari help fast before it destroyed all of them.

**A/N #3: I didn't set out to make this chapter 8k+ words. It just happened. **

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	22. Exploring a Child's Mind

**DISCLAIMERS: Nope, AWM still hasn't handed the show over to me. **

**SUMMARY: Kate and Castle meet Dr. Nathan Franklin, who begins working with Ariel.**

**A/N #1: A word of warning about the next several chapters. There is going to be very little of Jack, so please don't start bashing me again. This story is mainly about healing Castle and Ariel. I already have plans for my winter hiatus story, which will be the third chapter of this arc. I will include more of Jack in that story.**

**A/N #2: I want to thank Tony7323, who suggested that maybe it was a little early for Castle to start writing a book about Jerry Tyson, especially while both he and Ariel are still trying to heal physically and emotionally. Thus, my tale is going to deviate slightly from what I had originally planned. **

**A/N #3: This chapter picks up where Chapter 21 left off.**

Chapter 22: Exploring a Child's Mind

"Well, now that the two of you are home safe and sound, I think I'll go and get my things. I have a dinner date at eight and I don't want to be late," Martha excused herself to go upstairs.

Kate looked from Castle to the stairs. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that Martha seemed very dejected. "I think I'll go help Gram," Kate smiled at her daughter before leaving the room to go upstairs.

"Daddy?" Ariel stared up at her father, her eyes huge.

"Yeah, baby girl?" Castle scooped her into his arms and walked over to the sofa, settling down with his small daughter in his arms.

"I don't want Gram and mommy to be mad at me."

"Sweetie, nobody is mad at you. Why would you think that?"

"I wanted to go to the museum with Brian, Lex, and Jack. Really I did," she added earnestly. "But my feet didn't want to move. My feet were scared."

"You know what? That's okay. It's okay to be scared sometimes. Everybody gets scared sometimes."

"But I feel scared all of the time. Mommy told me that the car can't hurt me. And she locks all of the doors. But daddy, what if the bad guys break the windows?"

"Ariel, most people aren't bad. When you're with me, mommy, Brian, Lex, Gram, and Pop-Pop, you're safe. The same thing if you're with Capt. Gates, the boys, or Lanie. None of us are going to let anything bad happen to you or your brother. What happened that night to you and me will never happen again."

"How do you know that?"

"I don't. But you have to trust that we'll never let anybody hurt you or Jack."

"What about mommy? Mommy has a very dangerous job."

"Yes, she does," he agreed. "But your mommy is very good at her job. She went to school for her job and they taught her how to make sure that the bad guys don't hurt her. Plus, she has your Uncles Kevin and Javi to make sure nothing happens to her."

"Did you take care of mommy when you worked with her?"

"Yes, I did. And she took care of me."

"Maybe you should go to her job again so that you can take care of her when she's at work."

"When your brother starts school, I'll start going to work with mommy again. Right now, Jack's too little to go to school, so he stays here with me. Do you feel better now?"

"I'm glad you came home, daddy," she rested her head on his shoulder and patted his back like she used to when she was smaller.

"Sweetie, mommy told you that we'd only be gone for two days. If we were going to be late, we would've called and told you. Are you hungry?" He felt her nod. "Why don't you and I go into the kitchen and fix something to eat for your sister and brother when they get back from the museum?"

"What about Brian?" Ariel pulled back to stare at her father.

"Yes, Brian will eat, too. So will mommy and Gram. Come on," he stood up and swung her into the air before they made their way into the kitchen.

Upstairs in the guest room, Kate found Martha sitting on the edge of her bed just staring into space. "I didn't know what to do," Martha looked over toward Kate. "I wanted her to go with Alexis and Jack, but I didn't want to push her."

"I hope this doctor Castle and I are meeting can help her. I'm so sorry, Martha," Kate sat down and slipped her arm around the older woman's shoulder.

"You're not to blame, Katherine. That son of a bitch Tyson is the one who's to blame."

"We're going to get her back," Kate assured her. "One day, all of this is going to be a distant memory. Ari is once again going to be dancing around the apartment, singing show tunes at the top of her lungs."

"My granddaughter does enjoy a good show tune," Martha finally broke into a smile.

"That's because her Gram taught her all of the best ones."

In the kitchen Castle was preparing dinner with his assistant Ariel at his side when the door burst open and Jack came running in. "Sissy, the dinosaur man was at the 'seum! You missed it! Where's mommy?"

"Jack, they can hear you downstairs in the lobby," Kate came downstairs followed by Martha.

"Mommy, the dinosaur man was at the 'seum!"

"That's all he's talked about the entire ride home," Alexis smiled before walking over to hang up their coats in the closet.

"Look, he make me a raptor!" Jack held up the balloon shape.

"He 'made' you a raptor," Castle gently corrected his son's grammar.

"That's what I said."

The 'Dinosaur Man' was a man who visited the Natural History Museum every so often, telling stories and making balloon animals for the kids. "Tell mommy what else happened," Alexis urged her brother. "Tell her the most important thing that happened today."

Jack looked puzzled for a moment before his face broke out in a huge grin reminiscent of his father's. "Oh, I forgot! I peed!"

"You what?" Kate's face lit up in amusement at her small son.

"I peed at the 'seum!"

"He told me that he had to go, so I took him," Alexis filled in the blanks.

"Daddy?" Ariel tugged on her father's sleeve. "Why is this such a big deal?"

"Your brother went to the bathroom by himself. Way to go, buddy!" Castle came out and high-fived his son.

"Jack, this means that you get to put a sticker on your board," Kate took him over to the bulletin board by the kitchen where he and Ariel both had charts posted. Jack took a T-Rex shaped sticker and placed it on his board. "Good job."

"No more diapers, mommy," Jack insisted.

"I think we'll keep the diapers for just a little while longer."

"Sissy, do you want my raptor?" Jack walked into the kitchen, offering the balloon to his sister.

"No, I do not."

"Ariel," Kate's voice had the twinge of warning.

"Daddy, let's finish cooking dinner," Ariel looked at her father.

"Kate, is Ariel okay?" Alexis softly asked.

"She's a Taurus, which means she's temperamental and bull-headed. In other words, she's fine," Kate smiled.

After dinner, Brian, Alexis, and Martha all went their separate ways. Kate bathed Jack in hers' and Castle's ensuite while Castle bathed Ariel upstairs in the bathroom. "Why were you so mad at your brother?" Castle asked as he wet Ariel's long hair and rubbed some shampoo into it, working it into a lather as his daughter squeezed her eyes shut tightly.

"He was showing off."

"Ariel, he's two. Peeing in a bathroom might not be a big deal to an old lady like yourself, but it's a very big deal to your brother. It means he's growing up."

"Daddy, I'm not an old lady. I'm five. Practically six."

"Practically, huh? Keep your eyes closed," he warned as he turned on the shower wand and rinsed her hair. "Wow, practically six means you must be getting ready for college."

"Daddy, I'm not even in first grade, yet."

"All right then. Stop trying to act so grown. I want you to be my little girl for just a little while longer."

After bathing her, he pulled the plug on the tub before helping her to stand and wrapping a huge bath sheet around her. After bundling her up, he lifted her out of the tub and began briskly drying her off. He helped her into her pajamas before combing her wet hair and then running the blow dryer through it to take out most of the dampness. "Gram curled my hair with her fingers this morning."

"I saw that. For a second there I thought you were Nellie Oleson," he teased.

"Daddy, Nellie has blonde hair."

"Of course, that's my bad."

Downstairs, Kate was trying to bathe Jack, which was almost like bathing a fish. He liked to slide back and forth in the tub, making huge waves that sometimes threatened to slosh over onto the floor. He also liked to use the snorkel and mask that he took to the Hamptons house to use in the pool. "Mommy, look! I'm going shark hunting!" Jack slipped his mask and snorkel on, flipping onto his belly to go under the water.

"Uh, mighty shark hunter, come on. We need to wash up so you can get out. It's bedtime." Seeing that she was being ignored, she reached down and pulled him out of the water. "Let's wash up. Now."

"I couldn't hear you."

"I know. I bet daddy already has Sissy in bed."

"Can daddy ready five stories tonight?"

"No, but if you're good, I might ask him to read two."

"Lex got me a dinosaur band-air for my finger," Jack held up his small index finger which was indeed wrapped up in a dinosaur bandage.

"Lex was very smart to find you a dinosaur band-aid."

After bathing Jack and putting him in clean pajamas and a diaper, much to his consternation, she placed him on her hip, carrying him upstairs to where his father and sister were waiting in Ari's bedroom. "He was shark hunting," Kate explained, plopping on the edge of her daughter's bed and placing Jack in her lap.

Castle was reading the first book in the 'Little House' series to the kids. Ariel had become addicted to the show after watching re-runs with her grandmother one afternoon, so Castle had got the books. Kate loved to listen to her husband read to their children. His facial expressions and tone of voice would change depending on the action in the story. Jack fell asleep a few pages into the chapter, his body warm and heavy in Kate's arms. Instead of taking him to his room, Kate stayed to listen. After finishing the chapter, he placed a book mark and closed the book. "Would you fight off a bear for me, daddy?" Ari asked.

"Ariel, I would fight off lions, tigers, and bears for you, oh my," he leaned down and kissed her.

"Daddy, you need to shave!" Ariel giggled. "Your face tickles!"

"Shh, you're going to wake your brother. Go to sleep. I love you."

"Here, take him," Kate shifted Jack from her arms into Castle's. Waiting until he'd left, she turned her attention toward Ari. "Did you have fun this weekend with Gram?"

"We watched a lot of 'Little House on the Prairie.' I wish I could wear long dresses like Laura and Mary do."

"No, you don't. You'd always be tripping over them. Go to sleep. I love you."

"I love you, too. 'Night, mommy."

"'Night, sweetie," Kate smoothed Ari's hair over her shoulders before getting up and turning on her night light before leaving the bedroom.

An hour later after taking a long shower together, Kate and Castle were lying in bed. Castle was writing in his notebook while Kate lay on her side watching him. She loved to watch him when he wrote; whether it was typing furiously on his laptop or writing old school with paper and ink as he was doing now. His face always had a look of such deep concentration on it. "What're you writing?"

"I'm writing about our daughter."

"What about Ari?" Kate's voice immediately became guarded.

"I was thinking about the first time I ever looked into her eyes," he smiled. "Would you like for me to read it to you?"

"Of course," she snuggled closer to him.

He smiled before slipping his arm around her shoulders, pressing her closer into the warmth of his side. _"I was completely in awe of Kate for being such a trooper. But then the doctor handed me this small, screaming bundle that was tightly wrapped in a blanket that was dotted with unicorns and rainbows. The second that she was in my arms, Ariel stopped screaming and opened her unfocused deep blue eyes and just seemed to stare deeply into mine. I found myself immediately under the spell of this tiny six-pound little girl and I know that I'll be as much under her spell as I was under Alexis' so long ago. I'm as much under her spell as I am under her mother's."_

"That is so beautiful," she rose up and kissed him.

"Was my mother okay this afternoon?"

"It's hard, Castle. She's as torn as the rest of us are. She said that she really wanted Ari to go with Jack and Alexis, but she also didn't want to push her."

"Ariel told me that she really wanted to go, but that her feet got scared and wouldn't move."

"I've felt that way a few times."

"Me, too," he kissed the top of Kate's head.

***CCC***

"How was your weekend?" Dr. Swann asked, looking across at her patient.

"It was good. Kate and I went to the Hamptons to do some talking. We were able to get a lot talked about."

"That's good. So, are you on the same page now?"

"I think so. We both agreed that I should put the book idea on hold for a few months. We agreed that we need to get me and Ariel back in a good place."

"I think that we should start delving into the reasons why you've come to see me. You stated that this man Tyson was something of a nemesis—"

"Yeah, Kate and I would sometimes refer to him as my Moriarty."

"When did you encounter him the first time?"

"In 2010. He played all of us pretty well," Castle smiled bitterly at the memory. "We thought that he shared the cell with the man that we originally suspected of being the triple killer. He convinced us to get him released to help us find his former cellmate."

"So, the cellmate was innocent?"

"No, not exactly. The cellmate was his partner in crime. We learned that he often used a partner. His cellmate was caught attempting to murder Tyson's girlfriend. Det. Ryan and I went to Tyson's hotel room to give him the news that we'd caught Gates and that his girlfriend was safe. When he didn't ask about his girlfriend's well-being, that was when it hit me. That Gates wasn't the Triple Killer, but that Tyson was."

"He tried to kill you and the detective?"

"No," Castle shook his head. "He knocked Ryan out cold, but he tied me up. I overplayed my hand and started taunting him. My mother called while Tyson had me tied up. I told her that I loved her. I rarely tell my mother that, especially over the phone. Luckily, she realized that something was wrong and called Beckett."

"What happened to Tyson?"

"He got away."

"But he obviously came back."

"Yeah, several months later. A couple of months after Kate and I began having a relationship. He killed a woman and framed me for the murder. I learned that he'd bugged my apartment. He'd been watching and listening to me and my family for a while. He'd seen me with Alexis. He'd . . . heard me and Kate." 

"He got away again?"

"Yeah. He tried to kill me and Kate on the Triborough Bridge. Both of us shot him multiple times and he fell into the Hudson. Divers never found his body. The New York Police Department wrote him off as drowning in the river. I never believed it. I knew that he'd managed to get away somehow. Everybody thought that I was crazy."

"Even Kate?"

"Kate hated talking about it. So we didn't."

"Well, we're almost out of time for today. We'll talk more about Tyson on Friday."

"Okay."

***CCC***

Dr. Nathan Franklin was in his mid-50's with a head full of snow white hair. He wore wire-framed glasses and his eyes were crystal blue and seemed very kind. He had the kind of face that a child could trust. "Tell me about Ariel," he sat back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap.

"She and I were involved in a car accident in—"

"No," he shook his head. "Mr. Castle, right now I don't want to know why you need my help. I'll discover that on my own while speaking to Ariel, if I decide that she needs my help. Tell me about the kind of child Ariel is."

"Ari's very smart," Kate smiled. "She's extremely empathetic of other people. She loves reading, and playing dress-up. She used to sing and dance around all of the time."

"I see that she has an older sibling and a younger sibling. How does she get along with them?"

"Her older sister is almost 20 years older and they're very close," Castle said. "And her little brother is three years younger and Ariel tends to vacillate between being very protective of him and being annoyed with him."

"That's typical of the older sibling/younger sibling relationship," the doctor smiled. "When I spoke to you last week, Mrs. Castle, you said that you had tried having a psychologist talk to her before. What happened?"

"Ari didn't like her. I'm not exactly sure what happened, but after the initial meeting, Ari refused to talk to her again."

"What time does Ariel get out of school?"

"Two-fifteen," Castle answered.

"I would like to schedule a meeting with her for Thursday at 3:30. While I can't allow either of you in the room when I talk to her, you can watch on closed-circuit TV. That way, if there is a problem and she's not receptive, you can come and get her. That also protects me."

"What do we tell her?"

"Mr. Castle, if your daughter is as smart as you say that she is, she wants to get better. No child wants to go through life being afraid. Tell her the truth. That she's going to meet someone who wants to talk to her. Nothing more and nothing less."

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, Castle reached out and clasped Kate's hand in his. "He seems like a decent enough guy," he commented as they began to stroll toward the loft. "And the nice thing is, his office is only about six or seven blocks from home, so I can walk Ariel there and back. Do you think that Ariel will like him?" He didn't realize that he was rambling until Kate tugged on his hand to stop him. "What?"

"You need to relax. Ari's very open-minded, but her trust has in people has been damaged. I don't know if she's going to like him or not. That's going to depend on whether or not he can develop a rapport with her fairly quickly. Let's pick up something for dinner."

"Ariel was telling me last night that she'll be glad when I can go back to work with you. She wants me there to take care of you."

"I want you with me too, but it's because I miss my partner," she smiled at him.

"In a few more months, Jack will be in school, then you'll get your partner back," he slipped his arm around her waist while they continued walking toward the loft.

Later that night, Kate and Castle walked into Ari's room after putting Jack to bed. Ari was playing on her father's tablet, and she was surprised when her mother reached out and removed the tablet from her hands. "Am I in trouble?"

"No, sweetie," Kate sat on one side of her while Castle sat on her other side, sandwiching her between them.

"Miss Klein is going to let me check out the books for the second grade. That's good, isn't it?" Ari asked her mother.

"That's very good. I read the note that Miss Kathy sent home. I also read that Miss Klein apologized to you and to Miss Kathy. She said that she was wrong and she made a mistake. She wants children to love to read."

"I know, mom. She said all of that to me this morning," Ari gave out a huff of exasperation.

"I'm sorry," Kate smiled. "Daddy and I want to talk to you about something else. Ari, do you remember that lady that talked to you right after yours' and daddy's accident?"

"I didn't like her," Ari stiffened up. "Please don't make me talk to her again. I didn't like her, at all," she reiterated.

"I promise that you're not going to have to talk to her again. I'm sorry that you didn't like her, sweetie," Kate kissed the top of Ari's head. "But, daddy and I met with another doctor today. He works on helping kids that are afraid."

"Do I have to talk to him?"

"Ariel, do you like being afraid like you are now?" Castle asked her.

"No," she shook her head. "I want to stop worrying about bad guys all of the time."

"This doctor is going to try and help you with that," Castle assured her.

"Did you and mommy like him?"

"Yes, we did," he looked over at Kate, who smiled at Ariel and nodded.

"When am I going to talk to him?"

"Thursday afternoon. The best thing about his office is it's only about seven blocks from here. We can walk there and walk back."

"Is he old like Pop-Pop?"

"He's not quite as old as your Pop-Pop," Kate stopped herself from laughing. "I think that you're going to like him, Ari. Will you at least give him a chance?"

"Are you and daddy going to be with me?"

"I'll be at work, but daddy will be watching you on a special TV. The doctor doesn't think it's a good idea for daddy and me to be with you because he wants you to talk without being afraid of what daddy and I will think."

"But, won't daddy hear me on the TV?"

"I don't know, baby. Ari, it's okay to tell this doctor how scared you are. He's going to help you. That's what he's been trained to do. We all want you to be better."

"I want to get better, too."

"Okay, it's time to go to sleep," Kate climbed off of the bed, smiling as Castle tucked Ari in and handed her rag doll to her. "Good night," she leaned down and kissed her. "Sleep tight. I love you."

***CCC***

Thursday afternoon, Castle and Ariel made the trek to Dr. Franklin's office. He'd already promised her that as soon as her session was over, they'd take a taxi to the 12th Precinct to meet Kate at work. Castle had noticed that taxis didn't seem to bother Ariel, nor did riding with her mother. Kate was aware of his plans, so she'd told him that she'd wait for them.

"What floor is he on?" Ariel asked when they entered the office building and entered the elevator. "Is it high in the sky?"

"Dr. Franklin's office is on the 40th floor," Castle smiled down at Ariel before pressing the button. "Are you scared?"

"A little."

"Daddy has a doctor that he goes to talk to and so does mommy."

"Does it help?"

"It helps a lot," he took her hand in his, squeezing it as the elevator ascended.

Dr. Franklin was busily setting things up in his office when his office phone buzzed, and his receptionist announced that Ariel Castle and her father were there. He walked over and opened his door, smiling at the little girl sitting in his outer office. "Hi, Ariel," he walked over with his hand extended. "I'm Dr. Franklin. Anna, would you take Mr. Castle to where he can wait. I'll have Ariel brought to you when we're finished talking."

"I'll see you in a little while," Castle kissed Ariel before following the receptionist.

Ariel followed the doctor into his office, looking around in wonder. He had a huge chessboard, a drawing easel, and the biggest dollhouse she'd ever seen in her life. "Do you play with kids in here?"

"Sometimes it's easier to talk when you're playing games or drawing," he saw her walk over to the large chessboard. "Do you know how to play chess?"

"My daddy taught me. Did you get this chessboard in Wonderland? It's huge!"

"Do you want me to call you Ariel or Ari?"

"Mommy's the only person who calls me Ari. Except when she gets mad at me and then she calls me Ariel Johanna," she made a face and imitated her mother's angry voice.

"Then I will call you Ariel. Your mommy and daddy told me that you have some things that you're afraid of. I'm afraid of spiders. What makes you afraid?"

"Bad guys," she looked at him earnestly. "Bad guys with guns and bombs."

Looking at the little girl staring at him across the chessboard, he knew that she had a tale to tell. He knew that he had no choice but to try to bring peace back into her life. No five-year-old should ever be afraid of bad guys with guns and bombs.

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	23. A Baring of Souls

**DISCLAIMERS: I wish.**

**SUMMARY: Castle and Ariel delve deeper into therapy.**

Chapter 23: A Baring of Souls

"Do you dream about bad guys with guns and bombs, Ariel?" Dr. Nathan Franklin carefully observed the little girl standing across from him in front of his giant chessboard. He could tell that she was not only examining the pieces on the board, but also probably wondering if she'd revealed too much about her fears to this relative stranger.

"Sometimes, but I was inside of his car. His wife had red hair like Gram's and Lex's. She didn't want the bad guy to hurt me. She was yelling at him and saying bad words to him."

"The bad guy took you?"

"You should have a clock," she looked up at him. "My daddy has a clock when we play chess. Every time one of us makes a move, we have to hit the button on top of the clock."

"I'll have one the next time you visit me. Ariel, tell me about the bad guy. Did he take you from school?"

"Why don't you like spiders?" She moved over to a large armchair and climbed up into it, making sure that she carefully smoothed down her dress after she was seated. "Mommy just steps on them. In Charlotte's Web, Charlotte the Spider talked."

"Yes, she did. Did you like 'Charlotte's Web?'"

"Not really. Books with talking animals are dumb."

"You said your mommy steps on spiders. Your daddy doesn't step on spiders?"

This question made his young patient giggle for some reason. He waited for her to explain to him what the joke was. He didn't have long to wait. "My mommy says that sometimes daddy is a bigger girl than we are. He doesn't like spiders, either."

"I see," he smiled. "Ariel, can you tell me anything about the bad guy who took you? What did he look like?"

"He looked like a monster. He hurt my daddy. Are you a doctor that gives shots?" She got up and once again began exploring his office.

"No, I don't give shots. Did the bad guy take your little brother when he took you and hurt your daddy?"

"No. Jack was at home with Gram. What is this?" She picked up a Rubik's Cube from a nearby bookshelf.

"That is called a Rubik's Cube. It's a game where you have to make all four sides a solid color."

"How long do I have to stay in here?" 

"You have about 10 more minutes. Ariel, did the bad guy hurt you?"

"Where's my daddy?"

"He's nearby. Do you want me to have Anna go and get him?"

"Do you have a magic mirror?" She approached a large mirror on one of his walls and looked at herself in it. "My mommy has a magic mirror at the precinct. That's where she works. She catches bad guys, but she didn't catch the bad guy who hurt my daddy. Is my daddy on the other side of the magic mirror?"

"Ariel, I don't have a magic mirror. You don't have to stay if you don't want to. We don't have to talk any more about the bad guy today. Do you want me to call Anna and have her bring your daddy?"

Ariel turned from the mirror and nodded, huge tears shining in her eyes. Dr. Franklin got up and walked over to his desk, where he picked up the phone and spoke to his receptionist.

In another room, Castle had been watching Ariel through the closed circuit TV. He'd been unable to hear what she was saying, but he could tell by her body language that she was quickly becoming agitated. He sent a quick text to Kate letting her know that they'd be arriving at the precinct shortly. The receptionist opened the door and smiled at him. "Dr. Franklin asked me to come and get you."

"Thank you," Castle stood and followed her back to the doctor's waiting room. A few seconds later, the door opened and Dr. Franklin led Ariel out. Upon spotting her father, she ran into his arms. "It's okay, baby girl," he lifted her up into his arms. "Shh, it's okay."

"Mr. Castle, I'll call either you or your wife later," the doctor told him as Castle nodded.

While Ariel had been talking to the doctor, Castle had called his car service and arranged for one of his regular drivers to pick the two of them up. After strapping Ariel into the jump seat in the middle of the back seat, he instructed the driver to take them to the 12th Precinct. He held tightly onto Ariel's tiny hand as she looked out of the window, watching the passing scenery. "Dr. Franklin doesn't like spiders either," she finally looked at him.

"Spiders are icky," her father grinned. "Did you like talking to him?"

"My mouth got scared to talk about the bad guy and his wife."

"He's going to help your mouth not be so scared to talk. He's going to help you to not be afraid of riding in the car. Ariel, you have to get better about riding in the car before it's time to go to the Hamptons for the summer."

"I like riding in the middle. If I'm in the middle, even if the bad guy breaks the window, he can't reach me."

Castle didn't say anything; he only sighed and gripped Ariel's hand a little tighter. If moving her booster seat to the middle of the back seat would make her feel safer, then he'd do it. He was just so frustrated. He knew that therapy wasn't going to be a quick fix. He remembered when Kate was pregnant that she'd been afraid of making their unborn daughter a neurotic mess. She'd often joked about Burke offering them a family discount. Once again he couldn't help thinking that all of this was his fault. He was the reason that his beautiful, once vivacious and fearless five-year-old was seeing a therapist. He wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for what he'd done to his family.

***CCC***

Kate was typing out reports when she looked up and smiled. "Mommy!" Ari charged into her arms, leaping into her chair.

"Hi, chunky monkey," Kate hugged Ari tightly. "Hey, Castle," she smiled when he bent down to kiss her. Staring into his eyes though, she noticed how down he looked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Mommy, Dr. Franklin is afraid of spiders, just like daddy," Ari informed her mother.

"Hey, creatures with eight legs are _not _normal," Castle tugged gently on a lock of his daughter's long hair.

"Let me finish this report up and then we can go home," Kate set Ari on the floor and went back to her report.

Castle took a seat in his old chair as Ariel climbed up into his lap. "Where are the boys?" He asked, looking around.

"With a suspect in interrogation. Don't even think of taking your daughter back there," she gave him a warning look. "Did you like Dr. Franklin, Ari?"

"He has a really big chessboard. But he doesn't have a clock. I wanted to go home, so he told Anna to go and get my daddy."

"Who's Anna?"

"The lady who works in his office," Ari looked at her mother as if she was quite stupid for not knowing this bit of information. "She has pink in her hair. Can I get pink in my hair?"

"Maybe for Halloween."

"I called the car service. Devin is waiting for us downstairs. I've already made arrangements for him to bring you up here in the morning after you take Ariel to school. That way, you can just leave your car here," Castle told her.

During the ride home and for the remainder of the evening, Kate couldn't help but notice that Castle was being very quiet. He played with the kids once they got home, but it wasn't the way that he'd been in the previous days. She could tell that he was very upset and was trying to hold it together until they could get the kids down for the night.

Wanting to give him some space, Kate bathed both kids and managed to get them into bed a little earlier than their normal bedtime. When she came downstairs, she didn't see Castle in the living room. Searching his office, their bedroom and bath, she also found them empty. She went back into the living room and through the dining room where she saw the sliding glass doors leading onto the balcony were ajar. She walked out into the cold February night to where Castle was standing at the railing, staring at the New York City skyline scattered around them. "Do you want to talk about it?" She wrapped her arms around him, her cheek pressing into his back.

"Do you remember when you were pregnant with Ariel and you got that letter from the prison? The one where Josh had asked to see you?"

"I remember," her voice was barely above a whisper.

"You made that joke wondering if Burke would offer us a family discount since you were so sure that you were going to give our daughter mental issues. I should've killed Tyson when I had the chance, Kate."

"Rick, no," she dropped her arms from around him and pulled him around so that she could look at him. She was shocked to see tears streaking his face.

"I did this to her, Kate," his voice cracked. "The closed circuit TV has no sound, but I could see her. She's so much like you are when she's upset. She wanders around the room aimlessly. I could see how upset she was getting and all I wanted to do was kick that doctor's door opened and whisk her away. I just wanted to hold her and tell her that I was so sorry that I've fucked her little mind up so badly that she has to see a doctor to make her whole again."

"Rick, listen to me," he looked away from her. "_Look _at me and _listen_. You didn't do this to Ari. Jerry Tyson and Kelly Neiman did. They're the bad guys here. Ari doesn't blame you and I sure as hell don't blame you. I don't blame you for any of it."

"Not even for calling Crandall off," he said, referring to the security detail.

"Castle, you made an error in judgment. They hadn't done anything in weeks. You thought that it was safe. You had no way of knowing that they had been watching you that whole time just waiting for you to do exactly what you did that afternoon. It's going to be hard for Ari to talk about what happened to her. It's also going to be hard for you to watch her on that TV and not be able to go in to her when you feel that she needs you. But, she's going to get stronger. She's part you and part me. That fearlessness is going to come back. You and I have to give her time to get used to talking to Dr. Franklin. She has to learn that it's okay for her to trust him."

About that time, Castle's cell phone rang. "Speaking of Dr. Franklin," he held his phone out for her to see. "Castle," he answered the phone, putting it on speakerphone so that Kate could hear.

"Mr. Castle, I apologize for calling so late. I was hoping to speak to you and your wife."

"Kate's right here beside me."

"Not over the phone. Could we meet tomorrow morning at nine a.m. in my office?"

"Yes," Castle looked at Kate, who nodded. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine. I look forward to seeing you in the morning. Have a good night."

Castle put his phone back into his pants pocket and looked at Kate. She didn't say anything; she simply took his hand and led him back into the apartment, closing and locking the door behind her. She then led him into the bathroom and ran a warm bath for the two of them. Afterwards, she once again took his hand, leading him to their bed, where she very softly and very gently made love to him, before he fell asleep with his head on her breast.

Kate lay awake for a long time, stroking Castle's back or gently rubbing his scalp whenever he stirred. She hated how tore up he was. There hadn't been a week since his return from the hospital where he hadn't awakened her by crying out in his sleep. She wished that she'd been there when he'd had to watch Ari on the closed circuit TV. But as scared as she knew Ari was, she also knew that deep down, her daughter possessed an inner strength that she wasn't as yet aware of. She knew that in the weeks to come, Castle would witness that strength. After all, she had half of her mother's DNA. Kate felt that inner strength was all that had helped her to survive her mother's murder, her father's plunge into alcoholism and later a bullet to the heart that by everybody's account should've killed her. She knew that Ari would manage to pull herself up by the bootstraps, too. She had to. Because Kate knew that was the only way she was going to get Castle back.

***CCC***

The next morning after taking Ari to school and Jack to the sitter, Kate called and explained to the boys that she had an errand to run, but she'd be in by noon. She then went with Castle to Dr. Franklin's office, where Anna of the pink streaked hair, showed them into the doctor's office. "Coffee?" He asked.

"Yes," both parents answered.

"Please don't look so nervous," he handed both of them coffee cups. "I wanted to talk to the two of you about Ariel. First I want to commend you on raising such a polite, charming, funny little girl."

"Thank you," Kate smiled, visibly relaxing.

"Can you help her?" Castle leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees. "Yesterday, she didn't want to stay in here very long."

"And I expected Ariel to react exactly as she did yesterday. I want both of you to know that this isn't going to be an easy process. Ariel doesn't want to hear the hard questions. And that's also to be expected. I have to explore her fears slowly and carefully. I didn't associate who she was with you, Mrs. Castle and Mr. Castle, until yesterday. In your case history, Mrs. Castle, you mentioned Ariel's fear of riding in the car."

"She has good days and bad days," Kate tucked her hair behind her ear. "But she's especially reluctant to ride in a car if anybody but Castle or I are driving."

"That's because as her parents, she expects you to protect her and her brother."

Castle was about to say something about that, but Kate put her hand on his arm to stop him. "She also quit ballet because her ballet school is near the place where the accident happened."

"That's easy enough to fix. Find her a new school. A place that's in a different area from her old school. While I can help Ariel, the two of you and your other family members might have to change some of your behaviors, as well. The most important thing for all of you to remember is that you have to stop playing into her phobias. By giving in to her when she has a meltdown, you're telling her know that what she's doing is okay. And it's not. Facing these fears is the only way that she's ever going to move past them. Otherwise, you're going to have a daughter who's an emotional cripple. I know that my words may sound harsh, but they're also based on years of experience."

"How often are you going to want to see her?" Castle asked.

"For the first month, twice a week. After four weeks, we'll try to get her down to once a week. But she's also going to be expected to stay for the entire 45-minute session. I also should warn you that you may not like some of the things that you see on the TV. There are going to be times when Ariel isn't going to like me very much. But the only way that this fear of bad guys with guns and bombs, and riding in cars is going to end is if she talks about it. If you want me to do this, you have to go all in. There's no backing out. Not to boast, but believe me when I tell you that you're getting what you're paying for."

"Just so long as you never put a hand on her, because as good as you are, I'll have you know that I carry a gun and I'm more than prepared to use it where my family is concerned," Kate's eyes blazed.

"I promise that I'll never touch her."

"Dr. Franklin, we just want our daughter back," Castle held his hand out and the doctor shook it.

"I'll see Ariel Friday at 3:30."

Going downstairs in the elevator, Kate thought about what Dr. Franklin had said. She was sure that she could leave Ari in the office with him through the good and the bad. However, she wasn't as sure about her husband. Castle hated it when either kid threw fits. He was prone to scooping them up and giving in just to stop them from crying. Kate had seen all manner of tantrums from both kids, and while she hated them, she knew better than to give in to them. Her method of dealing with them was picking them up and taking them upstairs to their room and shutting the door on them. She told Castle one particularly bad night after one of Ari's tantrums when she was three that she refused to give her an audience for her flailing arms, kicking legs, and screams.

"Are you going to be able to leave Ari in there with him when she has a screaming fit?" She asked as Devin drove them toward the precinct.

"I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Castle, she's going to be okay. Are you going to talk to Dr. Swann?"

"Yeah."

"Rick?" He looked at her, his eyes red-rimmed and watery. "Babe, she's going to be okay. I know watching her on that stupid TV and not being able to do anything makes you feel helpless. She just has to learn that while you're nearby, you can't always come in to get her when she needs you."

"I've almost always been there when you guys needed me. Except when—"

"I know," she cupped his face and kissed him softly.

"We're here, Mrs. Castle," she heard Devin's voice through the intercom.

"I'll take my car home this afternoon. Why don't you make reservations for Nobu for Friday night?"

"Okay. I love you. Be careful."

"I love you, too. Bye," she kissed him one more time before getting out of the car.

***CCC***

"What's going on, Rick?" Dr. Swann knew that her patient was having a bad morning. It was written all over him.

"I did this to Ariel; to my family," she had to strain to hear him.

"Rick, you didn't ask Jerry Tyson to enter your life. And you certainly didn't ask him to torment you and your family."

"I could've stopped him."

"How?"

"By forcing someone in the NYPD to listen to me when I told them that he wasn't dead after Kate and I shot him off of that bridge that night. We put 15 bullets into him! Fifteen! He should've been dead six or seven times over, at least. If the bullets hadn't killed him, then the 100 foot fall should have. He had more lives than a fucking cat!" Castle got up and began to walk around the room.

"When did you suspect that he wasn't dead? Other than that night on the bridge."

"Eleven months after he framed me for murder. We began investigating a double murder. Someone had made the victims look like two of our close friends. We met this plastic surgeon, Dr. Kelly Neiman, who had operated on both victims. Later we suspected that she was Tyson's new partner, but we couldn't prove it. Someone stole all of the files on Tyson from the 12th Precinct's property room and managed to erase all of his files from the computer system. Every bit of evidence we had on him vanished."

"Did the police believe that he was now alive?"

"No," Castle stopped walking and looked at Dr. Swann. "To admit that a suspected dead serial killer was alive and possibly killing again would be a huge embarrassment to the NYPD. And we can't have the top brass at 1PP embarrassed. We found a pen in Dr. Neiman's office after she disappeared. Inside of the pen was a thumb drive. When we listened to it, it was a recording of the old Vera Lynn song 'We'll Meet Again.' The song seriously freaked Kate out."

"Why?"

"It was years before she'd tell me. We didn't hear anything regarding Tyson and Neiman for a long time. Kate and I started our new life together. We lost a baby, got married, got pregnant, got pregnant again," he smiled. "We laughed and loved and raised our kids together. Tyson and Neiman were always in the dark recesses of our mind, but we didn't spend every waking hour obsessing over them. Which I think is exactly what they both wanted. They wanted us to relax and drop our guard."

"When did they come back?"

"Uh, do we have to talk about that right now?"

"No, but we're going to have to discuss it eventually. You mentioned that you and Kate lost a baby. How did that make you feel?"

"Devastated. We were at the Hamptons for the 4th of July. Kate had gone to take a nap," he took a deep breath as he tried to cope with the still very painful memory. "I was downstairs writing and she screamed for me. I'd never heard her scream like that. I knew that something was very wrong. When I ran into our bedroom, I saw the blood all over the bed. I found her in the bathroom," he closed his eyes and balled his fists, "she was crying so hard, and there was so much blood. I didn't see how that much blood could come out of one person."

"How long after that did she conceive your daughter?"

"Almost two years," he smiled. "I was at a meeting with my publisher and when I came out, Capt. Gates had left me a message telling me that Kate had fainted at work. When I got to the hospital and got to see her, she had this huge smile on her face. She put her hands on either side of my face and she said, 'Castle, we're pregnant.' I don't remember much after that."

"You love being a father very much," she observed.

"Oh, yeah," Castle's eyes were bright with joy. "When Meredith told me that she was pregnant, I was so young. I wasn't sure that I was ready to be a father. I didn't even know what fathers were supposed to do. I mean, I never really had one growing up. But the second that Alexis was placed in my arms, I knew that being a father was all that I ever wanted to be. I wanted to be there to give my kids everything that I never had. I vowed right then and there that I'd always be there."

"Was it hard when your marriage to Alexis' mom ended?"

"I worried about how it would affect Alexis. I give Meredith credit for trying, but she's never been what you would exactly call present in her daughter's life. She missed her high school graduation, her college graduation, more birthdays and holidays than I care to think about." 

"How has it been co-parenting with Kate?"

"Wonderful. Kate had so many doubts when she was pregnant with Ariel, but I watch her with our kids and I couldn't have picked a better mom for my kids. She's always counted Alexis as one of her kids, too. One time when she was about six months pregnant with Ariel, we were at a book signing and I remember someone asking how many children she had and she got this look in her eyes when she rubbed her stomach and told the person that this was her second, that she had a grown daughter. I almost melted right there on the spot."

"Rick, I know that you think that you've damaged your family, but that's not what I see and hear when I talk to you. Are you still writing in your journal?" She asked as he nodded. "When you come in on Friday, we'll talk about some of your entries. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Over the next few days, I want you to think about Tyson's reemergence into your lives. I know that you don't want to talk about it, but you're going to have to."

That night, Castle was lying on his stomach in Jack's room while he and his son moved toy vehicles all over the room. "Watch out, daddy!" Jack called out before slamming a tiny hand holding a toy T-Rex down into the middle of the cars. "It's a T-Rex!"

"No! We have to call out the Army!" Castle moved a toy Army jeep containing some toy soldiers into the fray. "Men, here's the situation. We have a T-Rex loose on Lexington Avenue. On my command, get ready to fire the howitzer. Ready! Aim!"

"Really, Castle? A howitzer?" Castle rolled over to find Kate standing right behind him.

"Not bedtime, mommy. Not," Jack shook his head.

"Yes, it is. Help daddy pick the toys up and then get into bed."

"Is Ariel in bed?"

"She's brushing her teeth."

"Tell her I'll be in to kiss her goodnight in just a few minutes," Castle began putting the toys away with help from Jack.

After settling the kids into bed, Castle followed Kate downstairs where she poured two glasses of wine, handing one to him. "You were seriously going to blast a T-Rex with a howitzer?"

"Hey, I used what was available," he grinned. "Your son was the one who unleashed an extinct creature in the middle of Manhattan."

"So, your session with Dr. Swann was good?" She put her wine glass on the counter and stepped up to him, wrapping her arms around him.

"She diverted my attention. I told her about the day when you told me that you were pregnant with Ariel."

"'Castle, we're pregnant,'" she grinned, remembering that afternoon.

"I love being a father so much, but that was definitely one of the high points of my life," he kissed her softly.

"Mine, too. When that doctor told me, I just got this grin on my face and I couldn't wipe it off. I couldn't wait to tell you. What did she divert your attention from?"

"The day we discovered Tyson and Neiman were back."

Kate took a deep breath before resting her forehead against Castle's broad chest. That was a day she wouldn't soon forget either.

**A/N #1: In the next chapter, you'll find out how Kate and Castle discovered that Castle's nemesis was back. **

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	24. Ghosts from the Past

**DISCLAIMERS: Uh, no.**

**SUMMARY: Castle talks to Dr. Swann about the return of Jerry Tyson and Dr. Kelly Neiman. **

**A/N #1: So, I'm heading into the home stretch. I'm estimating that I have another three-six chapters left depending on where I decide to go with it.**

**A/N #2: This chapter has a time jump of about two weeks. It will have a case fic theme that will be resolved in this chapter. This chapter will also have an M-rated scene in it.**

Chapter 24: Ghosts from the Past

Castle was sitting on the sofa with his laptop perched on his legs, writing out an outline. While he'd agreed with Kate about putting the proposed book about Jerry Tyson on hold, he still wanted to get some ideas fleshed out. It was almost 10 o'clock and the house was quiet. The kids had gone to bed some two and a half hours before and Kate was working late, trying to find some information on a murder suspect. She had texted him an hour earlier telling him that she hoped to be home around 11. She had also asked him to chill a bottle of wine because she needed to unwind.

He set his laptop aside and picked up his notebook. Uncapping his pen, he leaned back against the sofa cushions and began to write. _"Dr. Swann asked me how I felt co-parenting with Kate. Seeing Kate, her belly swollen with my child was the greatest feeling in the world. She radiated that glow that I had read about, but had never seen. I loved watching her resting on the sofa or lying in bed, her hand softly stroking our unborn child, smiling and whispering. Or playing on her guitar and singing. I now know why both of our kids love to sing. When Kate was pregnant with Jack, she was on bedrest for most of the pregnancy. She'd get so bored and it was so hard to assure her that everything was going to be all right. But seeing her hold him for the first time when he was a day old made it worth it. She unwrapped him the same way she unwrapped Ariel that first time and carefully took inventory of every single inch of him, while Jack just stared at her, much as Ariel had."_

He stopped writing when he heard Kate's key in the front door. She walked in and smiled at him before taking off her coat, hanging it in the closet. "Did you get your info on your suspect?" He asked her, watching her cross the room and collapse on the end of the sofa, throwing her legs across his lap.

"Yes, and he's a really bad boy," she hissed when she felt Castle remove her boots and began to massage her feet. "How did you know I needed that?"

"Because you've been on your feet for 16 hours. How bad a bad boy are we talking about?" He asked, his hands pressing into the balls of her feet.

"Four charges of assault, three domestic assault complaints, five restraining orders—"

"And a Partridge in a Pear Tree," he sang out as she glared at him. "Sorry, I couldn't resist."

"And he's in the wind," she sighed. "Oh god, Castle. Have I ever told you that you have magical hands?"

"I believe you said those exact words the first time we had sex," he grinned at her.

"Actually all of your parts were magical that night," she returned his grin.

He moved down to her end of the sofa, his body completely covering hers, his mouth kissing her hungrily, as she moaned into his mouth. She loved him so much and she still found herself so turned on by him after all of their time together. Castle had promised her before they married that they'd never be bored with each other and she never had been. Not once in more than eight years and two kids together. If nothing else, she found herself more in love with him now than she had the day she'd entered into a relationship with him. "You're in a good mood for someone who spent most of her day looking for a guy who murdered his girlfriend," he smiled down into her eyes.

"I left all of that at the precinct, Rick. When I'm here with you, I don't want to think about men like Shawn Petrick. But as much as I love making out with you on our living room sofa, we should take this into the other room before we awaken Ari and Jack. If memory serves me, the last time that Jack caught us, he asked if he could 'wrestle' with us," she reminded her husband.

"Yeah," he sat back on his knees so that Kate could sit up, "talk about a mood killer."

An hour later, Kate found herself spread-eagled in the middle of their bed, writhing and clutching at the sheets as Castle brought her to a fourth orgasm, his lips, tongue, and fingers busy between her legs. He had one hand on her breast, squeezing gently while his other hand stroked her wet folds, as she fought to stay still. Earlier they had taken a shower where Kate had shown him just how much she loved him. He'd dried her off and had promised to return the favor. And he had, in spades. "Castle," she growled out his name.

Castle grinned against her wet, swollen flesh. It was nights like this that he often contemplated the idea of soundproofing their bedroom. They had a bedroom door that had a lock on it, but three of their bedroom walls were open bookshelves. Granted they were filled with books, but books didn't block out sound and they had already been asked some embarrassing questions by their five-year-old. And then there was the night that Jack had come downstairs after having a bad dream and had caught them 'wrestling' on the sofa. Castle didn't think he'd broken apart from a woman so fast since he was 15 and had been caught by his mother on a night when he'd thought that she'd been out for the evening. He was just glad that he and Kate had still been dressed.

Feeling Kate clench around his fingers and let out a low scream of release, he kissed his way up her body. She let out a gasp when she felt his erection brush against her sensitive core. She wrapped her legs around his calves when he slowly pushed inside of her. "Fuck, you're so wet," he kissed her, his tongue brushing along her bottom lip.

Kate opened for him, tasting herself on him and feeling him slowly began to move. He then moved from her mouth, trailing down her jaw and to that sensitive spot near her ear. She let her nails lightly score his back and moved her hips up against him. Every inch of her felt so sensitized by his body. "Rick, are you close?"

"Almost," he breathed against her neck. "Come with me?"

"Yeah," she took his hand and pressed it down to where they were joined together. Feeling his fingers press against her sent a pleasurable jolt down her spine, but it helped to stoke the fire that was building in her belly. "Oh shit, Rick!" She cried out.

He swallowed her cry of joy with his mouth as he suddenly stilled and emptied himself deep inside of her with a cry of his own. "I love you so, so much," he planted kisses all over her face and neck as she giggled joyously. "Was it me or were you just insatiably horny tonight? Five times, Kate."

"I just wanted to erase my day," she smiled up at him.

"If I can make you come five times in one night, I'll happily help you to erase a bad day any time you say," he kissed her softly before rolling off of her, moving to his side of the bed and pulling her up beside him.

"You still haven't beaten the record of the first night of our honeymoon," she grinned against his chest.

"Or the night that we conceived Ariel," he added.

"Oh, I forgot about that night," she blushed at the memory.

They both fell asleep to those two memories, only to be awakened by Kate's cell ringing at 4:30 in the morning. Castle groaned and rolled over, placing a pillow over his head when he felt bright light shining in his eyes. "Why can't your bad guys keep banker's hours?" He grumbled.

"Blame the judge. He finally got me my warrant for Petrick's apartment. I'll call you at lunchtime," she pulled his pillow away and kissed the top of his head.

"'Kay," he mumbled before falling back to sleep. Falling quickly back to sleep, he had a strong feeling that he'd forgotten to tell Kate something important.

***CCC***

"Another bad guy?" Ariel groaned, dropping her spoon into her cereal bowl. "Daddy, why don't the bad guys ever take a day off?"

"I don't know, sweetie. Hurry and finish your breakfast. I have to take Jack to Helen's, get you to school, and then I have to go and talk to my doctor."

"Do you like your doctor? Does he play chess with you on a giant chessboard?"

"My doctor is a lady and we don't play games. We just talk."

"Mommy doesn't care that your doctor is a girl?"

"No," Castle wondered where his small daughter was going with her line of questioning. He was sure that one day she was going to be a world-class interrogator, even better than her mother. "Why all of the questions?"

"Daddies shouldn't go to doctors that are girls," she got off of her stool at the counter. "It just isn't right."

"Has Gram been letting you watch 'General Hospital' again?" He asked. "Do you like Dr. Franklin?"

"Yes. My mouth isn't as scared to talk."

"That's good." Castle had noticed that after the initial visit, Ariel had stayed in the doctor's office for her entire session. He and Kate had both noticed that she didn't seem quite as uneasy about riding in the car.

"I made the side blue on the Rubik's Cube. But the rest of it is all messed up," she sighed and shook her head.

"You'll figure it out. I did once," he helped her into her coat.

"You had one?"

"Yeah, a long time ago. Come on, we're going to be late."

***CCC***

"In January of last year, Kate and her team caught a homicide," Castle began, staring down at his feet. "They found a girl stuffed in a dry cleaner's bag and left in a dumpster. She had no id and her fingerprints weren't in the system. But during the autopsy, Lanie found breast implants. When she ran them, they came back to Dr. Kelly Neiman."

"She didn't change her identity when she went on the run with Tyson?"

"No, these implants had been done eight years before. Lanie also discovered that the girl had been dead for at least two years, maybe longer. After she was identified, Kate learned that her parents had filed a missing persons report on her in 2016. Her name was Christina Elroy and she was 23 years old when she disappeared. Over the course of the next eight weeks, they found four other girls. All of them led back to Dr. Neiman and they had all been dead anywhere from two to 10 years."

"Were the NYPD ready to admit that it was a possibility that Tyson was alive?"

"No. The murders were one thing, but it was the stuff that happened after that was truly terrifying," Castle swallowed hard, bracing himself to recount the bizarre events that had transpired over the next nine months. "About two weeks after they found the last body, Alexis arrived home from work and found a thumb drive on the table by her laptop. She knew that it didn't belong to her or to Brian, so she called Kate and told her about it."

"Rick, do you need a break?" Dr. Swann had noticed the shakiness in Rick's voice as he recounted the horror of what Tyson and Neiman had put his family through.

"No," he shook his head. "CSU picked up the thumb drive and turned it over to Kate's tech guy, uh, tech girl. Tori's a whiz at that kind of stuff. Only when she looked at it, Tori told the team that she really wished that she hadn't. The thumb drive had a dozen files on it, all of girls being murdered. Four of the girls were the ones that they had already found. There were eight other girls on that thumb drive that still haven't been found."

"But it was definitely Tyson and Neiman?"

"Yeah, Tyson could be heard on the drive. The voice match was 99.7 percent. But the police were still reluctant to admit that they needed to start looking for him again."

"Did you tell Alexis what was on the thumb drive?"

"Yeah. I'll never lie to my children. I made sure that Brian and she had top of the line security. Kate even made both of them learn to use a gun, just in case. But they shifted their focus," he cleared his throat. "They never made any attempt to contact Alexis again. Weird things started happening at the loft. We suspected that someone was coming in when we weren't home, but we couldn't prove it. Ariel wasn't quite four years old at the time. She was in pre-school in the afternoons. The headmaster called me one afternoon and he told me that Ariel's Uncle Jerry had been sent by Kate to bring her home. I told him that Ariel didn't have any uncles. He said he refused to let 'Uncle Jerry' take Ariel because she wasn't listed on the approved list of family members that were allowed to take her from the school grounds. He told me that the man and his companion left without protest. I figured that Tyson's appearance had been altered by plastic surgery, courtesy of his psychotic girlfriend. So I asked him to describe Uncle Jerry's companion. When he did, I realized that it had to be Neiman."

"How did Kate take the news?"

"She went ballistic. She stormed into the Chief of Detectives office and demanded that he schedule a press conference to let the public know that Jerry Tyson was not only alive, but he was once again terrorizing the citizens of New York City. He refused and then he told Kate that if she ever burst into his office again demanding anything from him, he'd bring her up on charges of insubordination."

"Rick, let's take a break," the doctor saw him clenching and unclenching her hands. "Get some water and walk around a little. Come back in five minutes and we'll take up where we left off."

***CCC***

In an apartment in the Bowery, Kate, Ryan, and Esposito were preparing to serve a warrant on an apartment rented by their suspect, Shawn Petrick. Two days before, Shawn had beaten his 26-year-old girlfriend to death with a two by four. It had been a particularly gruesome crime scene. The young woman's blood and brain matter had been splattered everywhere. "Shawn Petrick! NYPD! We have a search warrant!" Kate called out.

They heard movement from inside of the apartment. Kate nodded to Espo, who kicked opened the door just in time to see their suspect climb out a window onto the fire escape. "Police!" Espo shouted as he and Kate ran toward the window while Ryan ran out toward the front door in hopes of blocking his escape.

Kate and Espo ran down the fire escape stairs, while their suspect kept a good sized lead on them. All the while the two cops were shouting at him to halt. When he hit the ground, Petrick ran toward the alleyways that dotted the area. When they reached the alleyway they'd seen him dart down, Kate motioned for Espo to look right while she looked left. He nodded as they both walked down the alley with their weapons drawn.

Crouched against a brick wall, Petrick grabbed the nearest weapon which happened to be a lead pipe. Breathing hard, he waited for his quarry. He could hear footsteps approaching. Counting to 10, he launched his attack.

Espo heard Beckett's shout of pain and rage. Approximately 20 feet from him, he saw her drop to the ground, one hand over her face as their suspect stared him down. Espo could see the pipe in his hand. "Drop your weapon, Petrick, or I'll drop you where you stand!"

"Fuck you, asshole!"

Petrick raised the pipe over Beckett's head, so Espo aimed and put a round in his shoulder, dropping him to the ground. Running over, he kicked the pipe out of Petrick's grasp before seeing to Beckett. He could see blood pouring through her hand. "Javi!" Espo glanced up in time to see Ryan running toward him.

"Cuff this asshole," he motioned to Petrick.

"I need an ambulance, you fucker!"

"Shut the hell up before I put a round in your other shoulder. Beckett, can you sit up?"

He pulled a handkerchief from his back pocket and gently pried Beckett's hand from her face. He grimaced when he saw her face. There was a huge cut on her cheek and her eye was already beginning to swell closed. "Kate, press this onto your face."

"Rick," her head felt so muddled.

Espo could hear Ryan calling for a bus. "I'll call him as soon as we get you to the hospital."

"I'm so sleepy," she tried to lie down but Espo quickly stopped her. "Javi, what the hell?"

"You need to stay awake, Kate. You might have a concussion."

"I could've stayed in bed with Castle this morning. Instead, I had to take care of this piece of shit," she hissed at Petrick.

***CCC***

"I hired a security team to stay at Marlowe Prep and to follow us whenever we left the loft to go anywhere with either kid. I guess Tyson and Neiman knew that we were onto them because then we started getting phone calls. They never said anything, but we would hear a child screaming in the background. The calls began taking a toll on both of us. Kate was still recovering from Jack's birth, even after a year. She'd lock herself in the bathroom and cry or we'd both go to the gym in the building and wear ourselves out."

"You both must've been so frustrated," Dr. Swann commisserated with her patient.

"We took the kids to Vermont over the Spring Break from school. Ariel had this doll that she'd had since birth. She took it everywhere with her. For some reason, we forgot to take it with us when we went on our vacation. Naturally, Ariel was very upset about it, so Kate and I bought her a new doll. She missed Alice, but she liked having a new baby to take care of. When we got back home, she immediately ran upstairs to reunite with Alice, who should've been on her bed. I remember her crying for Kate because she couldn't find her baby. So, Kate turned Jack over to me for a diaper change while she went upstairs to help Ariel find her doll." Castle rubbed at his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. "Kate called for me from upstairs. I knew from her tone that something was wrong. I remember putting Jack in his playpen to keep him out of trouble and running upstairs. Kate was in Ariel's closet and she told me not to let Ariel come in. The doll was hanging from one of the rods in Ariel's closet. They had set fire to it and gouged its eyes out. There was a note," Rick's voice caught on a sob. "I'm sorry. Can we please just stop for today?"

"Rick, I know that this is difficult. What did the note say? As soon as you can face what was written in the note, we'll stop."

"The note said that they were always watching. They knew where we'd stayed in Vermont, right down to our room number. They knew where Ariel's classroom was. They made it clear that they wanted our daughter. They knew that it was the best way to destroy me and Kate."

"What did you do?"

"I hired more security and we stayed at The Four Seasons for the next week while I had the loft completely swept for listening devices. They found four devices," he remembered. "One in our bedroom, one in each of the kids bedrooms, and one in the living room. After that, I had the loft swept twice a week. I also had mother's and Alexis' homes swept, but they were clean."

"Our time is up for today, Rick," Dr. Swann looked at her clock. "When I see you next time, we'll talk about the accident. Do you feel up to it?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Leaving the office, Castle tried to call Kate, but his call went straight to voicemail. He wasn't particularly concerned, since he figured that she was still working to find her murder suspect, Shawn Petrick. The morning news programs had been full of reports concerning the young man who had beaten his girlfriend to death two days before. He decided to just try to call her again when he got to the loft.

His phone rang almost as soon as he got out of his car at the loft. He was smiling when he pulled his phone from his pocket, a smile that vanished when he saw that Esposito's number come up on his caller id. "Castle," he answered the phone cautiously.

"Castle, it's me. Before you freak out, Beckett's okay. But she got hit in the face by our suspect."

"Where are you?" He asked.

"New York Pres."

"I'll be there in 20 minutes," he jumped back behind the wheel and started the engine once again.

***CCC***

The young resident attending to Kate's face carefully numbed the area with Lidocaine. "After I finish suturing your cheek, I'll send you upstairs for an x-ray and CT scan. Did you lose consciousness?"

"No. I just got really dizzy. I think it was the shock. How many stitches am I going to need?"

"At least 10, maybe a few more. I'll try to make them so that you won't have a huge scar."

"Doc, I have scars all over my body. One more isn't going to make much difference."

"Still, I'll do my very best to keep your face beautiful."

Kate was so very tired and in so much pain. She wanted to tell this young kid who barely looked old enough to be a doctor to please stop flirting with her. For one thing, he wasn't very good at it, and for another, she was very married. Castle was the only man she wanted flirting with her. This young kid could take lessons from Castle on the art of flirting. She just wanted to get out of here and go home. She wanted to lose herself against Rick's broad chest and feel his arms around her, comforting her. She couldn't believe Petrick had gotten the drop on her like that.

Outside in the hall, Ryan and Esposito were waiting outside of the exam room where Beckett was being treated when they heard footsteps running toward them. "Where's Kate? Is she okay?" Castle asked.

"She's in there getting stitched up. The doctor said it could've been a lot worse. At first they thought her cheekbone or eye socket was broken, but she's just bruised up pretty bad," Espo explained. "The nurse said she'll be going upstairs for x-rays and a scan to double check that nothing's broken."

"How did this happen?"

"We went to serve the warrant on our suspect and he took off down a fire escape. Espo and Beckett went after him and I went to head him off from the other direction. He hit Beckett with a lead pipe when she was walking past his hiding place," Ryan said.

The door opened and a young man dressed in a white coat stepped out. "Doctor, I'm Det. Beckett's husband. Can I see her?"

"She'll be going upstairs to radiology in a few minutes, but yeah, you can go in and sit with her while she's waiting."

Castle stepped into the room cautiously, sucking in his breath when he saw Kate lying on the gurney, a huge gauze dressing covering her left cheek, her left eye swollen, black and blue. She smiled and held her hand out to him. "I hope the other guy looks worse," he teased, walking over and taking her hand.

"I don't know if he looks worse, but Javi shot him in the shoulder, so I'm sure that he definitely _feels_ worse."

"I should've told you this morning to be careful," his voice was thick with emotion. "I'm so sorry, Kate."

"Castle, this wasn't your fault. I should've been paying better attention. It was a rookie mistake."

Her voice was slurred as if she'd just had dental work done. He saw her eyes squeeze shut against the pain. "Are you in a lot of pain?"

"My head feels like it's about to split in two. I'm glad that you're here," she opened her eyes and smiled at him. But she could see the fear in his eyes. "Castle, I'm okay."

At that moment, an orderly walked in, pushing a wheelchair in front of him. "I'm here to take you upstairs, Detective."

"Can my husband come with me?"

"He'll have to wait outside of radiology."

"I don't care," Castle told him.

"Help me, Castle," Kate looked at him as she slowly sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

Castle slipped his arm around her waist and assisted her into the wheelchair. "How long will this take?" Castle asked the orderly.

"I don't know. It depends on how backed up radiology is."

"I'd better call mother and have her get Ariel from school."

***CCC***

Ariel was quietly coloring at the table with some of her classmates. She glanced up when she heard the classroom door open and an office assistant handed a slip of paper to her teacher. Miss Kathy read the small slip of paper before walking over to her table. "Ariel, I got a message from your daddy. Your grandmother is going to be picking you up after school."

"Why?" Ariel's inner radar immediately switched on high alert.

"I don't know, sweetie."

"Did something happen to my mommy? Did she have an accident?" Ariel's voice began rising in pitch as the three students at her table also began to get upset.

"Ariel, I don't know. You need to calm down because you're scaring Emma and Patrick."

Ariel looked at her two friends and remembered what Dr. Franklin had taught her about taking deep breaths when she got scared. She inhaled a few times and forced herself to relax. She finally focused her attention back on her teacher and nodded. She picked up her crayons and went back to her art work.

***CCC***

"Is my mommy okay?" Ariel asked when she followed Martha and Jack into the apartment a couple of hours later.

"Your mother is just fine," Martha assured the little girl, who at the moment looked exactly like Richard had at that age. He'd called her earlier saying that Kate had had an accident and was having x-rays. He made no mention of how badly Katherine had been injured. She decided to text him so that she didn't have to lie to her grandchildren. **'Richard, how badly was Katherine hurt? Ariel is asking a lot of questions. Her teacher mentioned that she got quite upset when she learned that you weren't picking her up from school.'**

Castle was helping Kate into the car at the hospital when he felt his phone vibrate. He read his mother's message and thought for a moment before answering. **'Kate has a black eye and a cut on her cheek that had to be sutured. The x-rays and CT scan were negative. She looks worse than she actually is. We're on our way home now. Will be home in half an hour to 45 minutes.'**

"Your daddy said that your mommy had a small accident at work. She has a black eye and she had to get some stitches. But she doesn't have to stay in the hospital. Daddy said they're on their way home now and will be here soon."

"What kind of a small accident did she have? Did a bad guy hurt her?"

"Sweetie, I don't know."

"Yes, you do," Ariel whined. "You have to know. You're my Gram."

"Darling, I'm glad that you think that I'm all seeing and all knowing, but I really don't know."

"Sissy, did the bad guys hurt mommy?" Jack asked, picking up on his sister's conversation.

"No, Jack," Ariel took her little brother's hand. "She just had an accident. She's going to be fine. Come on; let's go play with dinosaurs in your room. I'll let you stomp on my Barbie's house again."

"Cool!" Jack willingly followed Ariel up to his bedroom as Martha blew out a relieved sigh. Ariel acted much more her age than Alexis had at that age, but at times like this, she was glad that she knew enough not to frighten her little brother.

An hour later, the two kids were enjoying some raucous play in Jack's bedroom. The little boy had his assortment of toy dinosaurs out and was wreaking havoc on his older sister's beloved Barbie dolls and their three-story Townhouse. Suddenly, Ariel shushed Jack. "I think mommy and daddy are home," she jumped to her feet and ran for the stairs with Jack close behind.

What she saw when she reached the third stair from the bottom stopped her in her tracks, causing Jack to collide with her. "Sissy, move!" He called out.

Kate and Castle turned toward the stairs, and they both watched Ariel's eyes widen in horror at the sight of her mother's battered face. "Did a bad man hurt you?" The little girl burst into tears.

Jack stuck his head out from behind his sister's back and also began to shriek hysterically, which made Kate start crying. Castle was at a loss. He wasn't used to everybody in his little family crying at the same time. The sight and sound of it was breaking his heart. He looked from Kate to the kids and then to his mother, who was also unsure of what to do. He finally let go of Kate's hand and walked up to the stairs, gathering a child in each arm and walking over to the sofa. Kate took a deep breath before she followed him. "Ariel, Jack, mommy's going to be okay," he crooned to them as their tears gradually dwindled to sniffles.

"Your eye—" Ariel continued to hiccup.

"I'm going to put an ice pack on it. It'll be fine in a few days."

"No more bad guys, mommy," Jack shook his head.

"Jack, catching bad guys is mommy's job. Uncle Javi got the bad guy that hurt me. He's in jail now."

"What if he gets out?" Ari asked.

"He's not going to get out, Ari. Martha, can you help Castle with them tonight? I have a headache and they gave me something at the hospital."

"Of course. Are you sure that you're all right?"

"Yeah. It looks a lot worse than it is. Ari, do you think that you and Jack can play quietly?"

"Yes." 

"Good girl," Kate kissed her before kissing Jack. "I'm really okay, Ari. Remember what Dr. Franklin told you about keeping calm?"

"Deep breaths."

"That's right. Castle, I'm going to go and lie down," she kissed him.

"I'll be there shortly with an ice pack."

Kate wasn't sure what time Castle came to bed later, but she was aware of him getting into bed beside her. She felt him take the ice pack that had fallen by her side. "Did you have trouble getting the kids into bed?"

"No. Do you need anything else for pain?"

"No, I just need you," she moved so that her head was resting on his chest. She hummed when she felt him softly stroking her hair.

"I should've been with you today."

"Castle, it might've happened anyway. This wasn't your fault. Like I said, it was a rookie mistake on my part."

Rick continued stroking her hair, listening to Kate's deep breathing when she went back to sleep. Every time she'd left him to go into work over the past almost six years, he'd always told her two things. To be careful and that he loved her. This morning because he was so tired, he neglected to say either one. And disaster had struck. He needed to find a school for Jack so that he could once again go back to being his wife's partner, both on and off duty.

**A/N #3: There will be two more chapters and an epilogue. Castle and Ariel's stories won't be complete, but I will complete it when I write my winter hiatus. **

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	25. The World has too many Bad Guys

**DISCLAIMERS: Alas, I have yet to be hired to take over 'Castle.' **

**SUMMARY: Ariel has another appointment with Dr. Franklin. Kate gets a visit from her father.**

**A/N #1: Castle's recounting of the Tyson/Neiman nightmare will conclude in the next chapter. **

Chapter 25: The World has too many Bad Guys

It was Rick's moaning and thrashing that woke Kate up out of a sound sleep. "No," Castle was throwing his arms out and mumbling her name over and over.

The night before had been rough. It had taken a long time for the both of them to go to sleep. Kate's cheek and head had continued to throb badly from her earlier assault and Castle had been so concerned with injuring her by accident that he'd stayed awake, whispering nonsense words against her skin and softly caressing her until she finally managed to fall asleep, his words the last thought in her head. Now he was paying the price with a horrible nightmare.

"Rick? Castle?" She put her hands on his shoulders to stop his tossing and turning. "Castle, it's okay. You're safe. You're just having a bad dream." 

"Tell him to stop," he groaned.

"Shh," she stroked his face, his skin slick with sweat and tears. "We're all safe, Rick. The kids and I are safe. Please wake up."

Suddenly Kate found herself clutched fiercely in Castle's arms, his lips seeking hers, his hands groping under her shirt. She wasn't sure if he was awake or still in the throes of his nightmare, but all that mattered was that he needed her. She assisted him the best that she could in removing her t-shirt and sleep shorts. "Kate," he mumbled her name, his hands and lips seeming to be everywhere at once.

"I'm here, Rick," she trembled under the onslaught of his hands and mouth. She gasped at the feel of his fingers between her thighs. "Oh god, Rick," she arched against him.

He moved back up, roughly biting and kissing the sensitive skin of her neck and collarbone. Kate reached her hand down to his boxers, feeling him hot and pulsing in the palm of her hand. "I love you, Kate," he hissed against her neck.

"I love you, too," she shoved his shorts down over his hips and guided him to her. "Yes!" She cried out as he entered her with a savage thrust.

It didn't take long. And it was the first time Kate could remember not being able to keep up with him. Her name came out of his lips on a hoarse cry and he collapsed on her, his breath coming out in harsh rasps against her shoulder. After a few minutes, he slowly rose up and looked into her eyes, his blue eyes filled with worry and regret. "Kate . . . I'm so sorry. You were just there and—"

"Castle," she put her hands on his face to stop his rambling. "It's okay."

"But, you didn't . . . you didn't come. God, I'm such an asshole," he rolled over and threw an arm across his eyes.

"You're not an asshole," she propped herself up on one elbow so that she could look at him. She reached over and pulled his arm down from his eyes. "You're not an asshole," she repeated. "You were having a nightmare and needed comforting. I'm glad that I was there to provide what you needed. You don't have to make it about me every time."

"There are times when I think that I don't deserve you."

"Rick, why in the hell would you ever think that you don't deserve me? I'm the one who pushed you away when you tried to get closer. You're the sweetest, most wonderful man I've ever known. You're a great husband and father; you're an extremely attentive lover," she kissed him softly. "Stop with the self-flagellation."

"I've gotten you into some awful situations over the past several years. Now I'm dragging our children into those situations."

"Castle, you didn't ask Jerry Tyson to torture our family. And you certainly didn't ask him to target our daughter. I know that talking to Dr. Swann about this hasn't been easy. But I'm sure that she's going to tell you the same thing that I've been telling you for almost three months. What happened that day wasn't your fault. Ariel's already doing so much better. And so are you."

"I should've been with you yesterday," he lightly touched her gauze covered cheek.

"Rick, the guy was hiding in a blind alley. Even if you'd been with me, one of us still might've got hurt. I'm going to let you in on a secret," she bit her lip. "I was doing this long before I met you. I took care of myself just fine then and I can take care of myself now. It's not that I don't miss you being my partner at work. I do," she kissed his jaw, "but I'm okay when you're not there."

"In the fall," he stroked her bare shoulder, "when Jack is in school, I'm coming back."

"Okay," she grinned as her lips came down on his.

The next morning Kate groaned before rolling over and reaching for Castle, only to find his side of the bed empty and cold. Disoriented, she sat up and reached for her phone. "Shit!" She swung her legs over the side of the bed and headed for the bathroom.

"Where's mommy?" Ariel asked with a mouthful of toast in her mouth.

"She's still asleep and don't talk with your mouth full."

"Castle, why didn't you wake me up? I have to be at work," Kate stumbled into the living room, carrying her boots in one hand.

"No, you don't," he stopped her. "Capt. Gates called and said if she sees you walk into that bullpen, she's going to send you right home. She told me to tell you to take a couple of days and that's an order."

"Oh," she looked over at the kids, who were still staring at her as if she was a creature from a horror movie. "Well, do you need help with them?"

"Yes, you can help Jack get dressed."

"No," Jack shook his head.

"Jack, it's okay. Come here," Kate reached for him as he reluctantly stepped forward. She lifted him into her arms, feeling his soft, warm toddler body against hers. "You smell good this morning. Do you want to get dressed?"

She loved the way Jack cuddled into her, something that he rarely did any more. He was so much more fiercely independent than Ariel was. He didn't like cuddling into her lap now unless he was sick. So, Kate and Castle had learned to take advantage of his hugs whenever they could. She kissed his chubby cheek before placing him beside her on the sofa and helping him into his clothes. "Jack, are you going to stay with me while daddy takes Sissy to school?"

"I was going to take him to Helen's," Castle volunteered.

"Why? Castle, I have a cut on my face. I'm not incapacitated."

"If you're sure," he said as he helped Ariel with her coat and backpack.

"Of course I'm sure."

"Mommy, I don't have to go see Dr. Franklin today," Ari walked over to her mother. "I can stay home and make you feel better."

"Sweetie, that's very thoughtful of you, but do you know what would really make me feel better? Knowing that you're feeling better. So, I want you to go to your appointment today. Okay?"

"Okay."

"I was thinking that I could take Jack with me this afternoon and then I'll take the kids to the park after. On the way home, I'll stop and pick up some Chinese food."

"Castle, I can take care—" 

"Park!" Both kids shouted with glee.

"Well, I guess that's been decided," Kate smiled.

"Great," he grinned. "Come on, Ariel, we need to go. I'll be back in 20 minutes."

"We're not going anywhere."

"Put another ice pack on your cheek," he called out as he closed the door behind himself and Ariel.

"I be back!" Jack called out before thundering up the stairs as fast as his little legs could carry him.

While he was gone from the room, Kate went into the kitchen and took one of the ice packs from the freezer and wrapped it in a dishtowel before returning to the living room and getting comfortable in Castle's favorite recliner. A few moments later, she smiled when she saw Jack coming down the stairs, his favorite stuffed animal under one arm and a storybook under the other.

"Is it story time?" Kate asked as Jack nodded and somehow managed to climb into the chair with both hands full. He nestled against Kate's breast with his stuffed elephant in his lap and watched as Kate opened up the book. "You'll have to help me turn the pages, okay?"

"Okay."

Kate read the story of Peter Rabbit to her son as he turned the pages when she directed him to. She enjoyed moments like these with both children. Before falling in love with Rick, the thought of motherhood was terrifying to her. Like she'd once told him, she just wasn't a baby person. Sure, they were cute, but it was always nice to hold one and then give it back to its original owner.

Then she'd gotten pregnant that first time and even though it had ended in a miscarriage, it had opened her up to the reality of maybe being a mom. When she'd gotten pregnant with Ari and had felt the changes her body went through, that reality became ever more exciting. When she'd put Ari to her breast for the first time, she'd understood what Castle had told her so long ago about her life being forever changed.

Jack's pregnancy had been totally different from Ari's. With her small son, she'd felt like she'd had to fight tooth and nail to keep him safe inside of her until it was time for him to be born. Two bouts of pre-term labor had earned James Jackson Castle the nickname of 'The Escape Artist.' But holding him that first time the day after his birth and feeling him nurse had assured her that the fight had been so worth it. He looked so much like his father complete with his smile and his easygoing charm. She knew that he was going to be a lady-killer when he started to school. He was already a huge hit with the little girls at the playground.

"Does your face hurt, mommy?" He craned his neck to look up at her.

"It's a little sore," she admitted.

"I can kiss it and make it better," he grinned his father's disarming grin as she melted.

"I know you can, but why don't you wait a few days until it's not quite so sore. Okay?"

"Okay," he curled up against her once again.

Kate took out her phone and brought up her photo album. Both kids loved to look at the pictures on their parents' phone and to hear the stories about them. One of the pictures Kate brought up showed Castle, her and Ari. Kate was hugely pregnant with Jack at the time. The date stamp showed that the picture was taken just a few days before his birth. "Where I am?" He asked. He asked the same question every time Kate showed him the picture.

"You're inside of mommy's tummy," she pointed.

"How did I get in there?"

"Daddy hid you in there so that you'd be safe," she kissed the top of his head as he giggled.

"Mommy, I'm a big boy. I won't fit in there."

"Once, you were really little and you did fit."

"Sissy fit in your tummy, too?"

"Yes, once Sissy fit in there, too."

"How did daddy hide me?"

"I'll tell you when you're older," she kissed him again as he began struggling to get off of her lap.

"You tell silly stories, mommy," he was shaking his head as he went up the stairs to his room.

***CCC***

"How are you doing today, Ariel?" Dr. Franklin asked his young patient that afternoon.

"Daddy is taking Jack and me to the park. A bad guy hurt my mommy yesterday."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she's okay."

"She had to get stitches. Do stitches hurt?"

"No, the doctor gives you a shot to make you numb before he puts the stitches in."

"I don't like shots. I'm glad that you don't give shots."

"Is it getting easier to ride in the car?"

"My seat is in the middle now. That way even if the bad guy breaks the window, he can't reach me."

Dr. Franklin knew from the conversation that he'd had with Rick and Kate that the accident had happened right in front of the FlatIron Building. It was important to get Ariel to return to the scene of the accident. "Do you go to the Empire State Building or the 9/11 Memorial with your school?"

"No, we went to the museum. I like the museum. They have dinosaurs."

"Have you ever been to the FlatIron Building with your school?"

"I won't go there," she got up and began wandering around the room. "It's too far."

"Ariel, is that where you and your daddy had your accident?"

"I told you about the bad man and his wife taking me! I don't want to talk about them anymore! Where are my daddy and Jack? I want to go home!"

"Ariel, you know that I can't let you go home," he said in a gentle voice. "It's not time, yet."

"I'll tell my mommy and uncles to 'rest you!"

"Ariel, are you angry because your mommy and uncles didn't arrest the bad man and his wife?"

"They couldn't 'rest them," she turned toward him, her eyes huge and teary. "They couldn't find them. I wanted them to find me," she sat in the middle of the floor and began to cry. "The bad man and his wife kept yelling at each other. My daddy was hurt. I wanted my mommy to find me. I wanted her to shoot the bad man and his wife. She kept touching my hair and telling me that she could make me even prettier than my mommy. I wanted her to leave my hair alone! I wanted her to stop touching me!"

Dr. Franklin got up and walked over to Ariel, sitting down across from her. "Your mommy and daddy love you very much. I know that your mommy and your uncles were looking everywhere for you. Did your mommy ever tell you how they found you?"

"No," Ariel shook her head.

"You have a magic watch," he pointed to the pink and white watch strapped around her wrist. "It has a chip in it. You were wearing your watch when the bad man and his wife took you."

"Daddy gave me this watch for my birthday. Is it really magic?"

"It sure is. Your mommy and daddy told me all about your watch."

"So, they knew where I was?"

"What happened right after the bad man's wife threw you out of the car?"

"I hit the ground and it really, really hurt."

"What happened after that?"

"Uncle Javi was yelling at me to run. And I saw Uncle Kevin running in the middle of the street. I was scared that he was going to get run over, but the cars weren't driving. They were sitting in the middle of the street."

"Did you do what Uncle Javi told you to do?"

"I got up and ran fast. When I ran to him, he held onto me so tight that I couldn't breathe. I was so happy to see him, but I really wanted my mommy."

"I bet that you did."

"I kept asking for my daddy, and they wouldn't say anything. When they took me to the hospital to see my mommy, Uncle Javi was driving the car and I sat in the backseat on Uncle Kevin's lap. He kept crying and I didn't know why. I thought that my daddy was dead and he was sad. But he kept hugging me and telling me that they were so glad that I was okay."

"Do you remember when you saw your mommy?"

"Oh, yes," her face brightened for the first time in several minutes. "I don't know where Uncle Javi went but Uncle Kevin carried me to where my mommy was. Gram, Pop-Pop and Lex were there, too. My mommy sat down on the floor and I ran into her. We fell over and she wouldn't stop crying. I was so happy to see her, but I wanted to see my daddy."

"Ariel, did someone give you something after Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi found you?"

"A policeman gave me a stuffed rabbit. He said it would help me not be so scared until I could see my mommy and daddy. I don't know where it is now."

"How do you feel about the bad man and his wife?"

"I don't feel anything about them. I know that they can't hurt me anymore. Dr. Perlmutter showed me the room where they were. He said all of the people in that room are dead. He wouldn't let me go in there, though. He said I was too little. But he was nice to me."

"Who's Dr. Perlmutter?"

"He works with Aunt Lanie. They work with dead people. Daddy told me that Dr. Perlmutter even worked on a zombie once. My daddy likes to tell me and Jack funny stories like that. Mommy told him that zombies aren't real, not even on 'The Walking Dead.' They're just real people wearing a _lot _of makeup."

"Would you like to go find your daddy and Jack now?" Dr. Franklin asked as Ariel nodded eagerly.

***CCC***

Kate was dozing off on the sofa, but the ice pack kept sliding off of her face and waking her up. She'd just reapplied it when the doorbell rang. She struggled to her feet and walked to the door, surprised to find her father standing there. "Dad, hi. Come on in."

"Rick texted me last night and told me that you'd gotten hurt. I hope the other guy looks worse," Jim Beckett gently hugged his daughter.

"Javi put a bullet in his shoulder. He's definitely in a lot more pain. Would you like some coffee or iced tea?"

"Water would be great. Where are Rick and Jack?"

"Ari had an appointment with her therapist. Rick took Jack with him and then he's going to take both kids to the park since the weather's so nice."

"How is she doing?"

"She's doing better. We moved her booster seat to the middle of the back seat. Now the only problem I have is when her and Jack start squabbling. That's much easier to deal with than trying to force her into the car to go anywhere."

"How is Hurricane Jack?" Jim smiled.

"He's still a one-man demolition crew," Kate smiled. "Have I mentioned lately how much I love being a mom?"

"Not in the last 15 minutes or so. Are you and Rick taking the kids to the Hamptons for the summer?"

"Rick will probably take them when school lets out. I'm not sure how often I'll be able to join them since I took so much time off when Rick got hurt. You should take some time off and go out there with them. The kids would love it and I know that Rick certainly would appreciate the help. You know that you want to," she could see his eyes light up at the idea. "Come on, dad. When is the last time you took a real vacation? And I'm not talking about going to your cabin for a few days. I'm talking about a real vacation of a couple of weeks."

"It's been a long time," he admitted. "When will he go up there?"

"I'm not sure. School ends the first week of June, so right after that."

"I'll think about it. It is beautiful up there."

"Yes, it is."

Kate looked toward the door when she heard Castle's key. He opened the door and the kids walked in, brightening when they saw their grandfather. "Pop-Pop, you're here!" Jack ran over, leaping into Jim's lap.

"Jack, what are they feeding you? You're huge! Hello, Ariel," he reached out for Ariel.

"I missed you," Ariel hugged him. "Are you staying for dinner? Daddy brought Chinese food home. Please, Pop-Pop? Mommy, tell Pop-Pop to stay for dinner."

"She's hard to say no to," Kate whispered to her father.

"Then I guess I'm staying for dinner," he said as both kids cheered, jumping up and down excitedly.

"You'd think we never have company," Castle took the bags into the kitchen.

Lying on her side later that night, Kate smiled when she felt Castle slip into bed and pull her against his chest. She'd taken a pain pill earlier, so she was drowsy, but feeling his arms around her made her feel so safe and warm. "Dr. Franklin wants to meet with us on Monday," she tensed up at his words. "He said it's nothing awful, so relax. I get the impression that they got a lot talked about today."

"How was she when she came out of his office?" Her words were slow and drowsy.

"She looked like she'd been crying at some point, but she was fine when she came out. She was anxious to go to the park."

"You didn't watch her on the monitor?"

"Truthfully, I try not to. It feels a little creepy."

"It's not my imagination, is it, Castle? Ari really does seem to be getting better, doesn't she?" She turned toward him, wincing at the pain in her cheek.

"She seems like it to me. She's certainly laughing a lot more."

"I invited my dad to the Hamptons with you and the kids this summer. That's okay, isn't it?"

"Of course. I hope you'll be able to come out for more than a few days, Kate. The kids are going to miss you. I'm going to miss you," his lips closed over hers in a long, slow kiss.

"I need to lie on my other side," she touched his lips before rolling over and taking his hand, placing it on her hip. She closed her eyes and went to sleep with the feel of his fingers stroking over her hip lulling her under.

Castle listened to Kate's deep, rhythmic breathing, all the while keeping up the same rhythm on her hip. He couldn't admit to what he'd witnessed that afternoon. Jack had been quietly playing with his toys in a corner, bored by the fact that while he could see his sister on TV, he couldn't hear her. Castle had occasionally glanced at the monitor while playing games on his phone. At one point he'd seen Ariel as hysterical as he'd ever seen her. He'd seen her on the floor in tears before the doctor had come over, sitting down with her. Gradually he'd seen her terror fade away.

After she had come out, Dr. Franklin had instructed Anna to take Ariel and Jack back to the other room. He'd told Castle that he wanted to talk to him and Kate on Monday. At the park, Ariel had been her usual self, almost the same little girl she'd been before December 19. She'd helped Castle push Jack on the swings, and they'd raced to the top of the monkey bars, laughing and chattering like a couple of monkeys.

Castle closed his eyes and drifted off, happy that they seemed to finally be getting their little girl back. That night he dreamed of the little girl who'd always delighted in using her daddy for her own personal jungle gym. The little girl that seemed to be more Kate than him. He longed to have that little girl back again.

**A/N #2: One more chapter and then the epilogue. I'm actually going to make the deadline!**

**A/N #3: Stana and Nathan were a clue on today's 'Jeopardy!' The category was 'Canadians on TV.' The answer was: 'Nathan Fillion and Stana Katic solve crimes on this ABC series.' They had a picture and everything. It was great!**

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	26. How do I Move Forward?

**DISCLAIMERS: No, still not mine**

**SUMMARY: Castle recounts the day of the accident. Kate and Castle have a meeting with Dr. Franklin regarding Ariel.**

**A/N #1: This will be the last full chapter. There will be an epilogue after this. I want to thank everybody who has come along for the ride. Part 3 will come out during the winter hiatus and will be about the book Castle is planning about Tyson.**

Chapter 26: How do I Move Forward?

It was after two in the morning when Kate unlocked the door of the loft and walked inside, stopping by the door to slip out of her heels. She and the boys had been busy trying to break Shawn Petrick, the suspect accused of beating his girlfriend to death and then assaulting Beckett when she'd tried to arrest him. Her eye was no longer swollen, but it was still several shades of black and blue.

It had taken most of the day, but with some 'buddy' talk from Esposito, Petrick had finally spilled out all of the grisly details of his girlfriend's murder. She'd spoken to Castle right before midnight. She'd told him to go to bed; that she'd be home as soon as she possibly could.

Her first stop upon entering her home was to go upstairs to look in on her babies. Coming home after a rough day of putting away bad guys was always made better by coming home to them. They were so small and so innocent. She wished that they could remain this way forever, untouched by the evilness of the world. Unfortunately, her young daughter had already been witness to the bad in the world. She found Ari laying half in and half out of her covers, one small arm dangling from the side of the bed; her long curls fanned all around her. Kate carefully placed her under the covers and tucked her doll beside her.

She next went to Jack's room, smiling at the sight of her son tucked into a ball on his belly with his butt in the air. She smoothed his hair back from his face and straightened his covers. She then kissed the top of his head and left the room.

Walking on bare feet into hers' and Castle's bedroom, she stopped to stare at the sight of her husband, who was laying on his stomach, one hand spread out over her pillow and the other hanging off of the bed. She quietly took her sleep attire from her dresser and slipped into the bathroom to take a shower and get dressed for bed.

When she came out of the bathroom, she saw that Castle hadn't moved. She really hoped that he'd be able to sleep the whole night. She knew that the next afternoon he was going to be talking about the afternoon of the accident with Dr. Swann and he'd been on edge about it for days. His sleep had been plagued with nightmares for the last several nights. And when Castle didn't sleep, neither did Kate. He'd always been there for her during her nightmares. She wanted to be there for him.

She turned back her side of the bed and climbed in beside Rick, sliding closer to him and softly kissing the bare skin on his back. He stirred before rolling over and looking at her through sleep-glazed eyes. "Hey," he whispered, his lips coming over hers.

"Hey, yourself," she smiled before kissing him again.

"Did you get him? Did you make him cry like a girl?"

"No, but Javi did. I didn't mean to wake you. It's late. Go back to sleep."

"I'm glad you're home," he tightened his arms around her, pulling her against his chest, feeling her arms go around his waist.

"I'm glad I'm home, too," she kissed his jaw and closed her eyes, sleep quickly overtaking her.

Kate felt like she'd only been asleep for five minutes when she heard the insistent beeping of Castle's alarm on his phone, signaling that it was time to get up and get Ari ready for school. Somehow during the night the two of them had ended up in a tangle of limbs and covers. She struggled to untangle the sheet and comforter from around her legs. "Stay in bed," she heard Castle murmur. "I'll take Jack with me when I take Ariel to school."

"Rick, do you want me to go with you this morning when you go talk to Dr. Swann?"

"No," his eyes flew opened. "I'll be okay. What time are you going to the precinct?"

"Probably around nine. Gates told us last night before she left to take part of the morning off. How about if we leave the kids with my dad or your mother tonight? That way we can talk and you can decompress. I remember what it's like talking about the hard stuff, Castle. Believe me, you're going to need it."

"I'll call mother after I take Ariel to school. Speaking of which, I'd better get up and get moving. Go back to sleep," he told her once again, kissing her forehead as she smiled.

Castle went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Kate closed her eyes and went back to sleep, but soon she felt someone bouncing on the bed next to her. She once again opened her eyes and smiled at the sight of her daughter, all excited energy and bouncing curls. "Mommy, you didn't sign my permission slip."

"Your permission slip for what, sweetie?" Kate's voice was still half-asleep.

"My field trip."

"Ari, your field trip isn't until next Friday. The permission slip isn't due until Monday. I promise that I will sign it before then. Why aren't you dressed for school?"

"Because I just got up," Ari crawled up beside her mother and got under the covers. "Are you sick?"

"No, I got home very late and I'm very tired."

"Ariel, what're you doing?" Castle came out of the bathroom, buttoning his shirt. "Go and get dressed."

"I haven't seen mommy in ages," she protested. "I missed her."

"Oh, I missed you too, sweetie, but I'm really tired. I promise that I will sign your permission slip this afternoon and you can take it to school with you on Monday. Okay?" 

"Okay," Ari jumped off of the bed and ran out of the room.

"I'll be out in a minute to make your breakfast. Can you please go wake your brother up for me?" Castle called out to her.

***CCC***

Castle was staring out of Dr. Swann's office window down onto the street below, watching native New Yorkers and tourists alike scramble like ants. "Let's start talking about December 19. Was it an otherwise normal day in the life of the Castle family?" Dr. Swann began her session as Rick turned and walked back to his chair.

"It started out that way, except the weather forecast predicted snow and freezing rain for later that afternoon. It had been quiet for a few weeks. There hadn't been any more messages from Tyson or Neiman. Kate and I were both smart enough to know that they hadn't moved on. We knew that they were probably plotting their next move."

"What did you do that day?"

"I had a chapter due, so I did some writing that morning. Kate and I were having family over for dinner on Christmas Eve, so we talked on the phone mid-morning about the menu. She told me that the weather was getting steadily worse and she didn't want me to take Jack out because he was getting over a cold. My mother called me just after noon and told me that she'd canceled classes at her school because of the weather."

Dr. Swann watched him take several deep breaths as he recounted the events of that fateful day. "What happened when she told you that?"

"I asked her if she'd mind coming to the loft and staying with Jack while I went to get Ariel at school. She said that she'd be delighted. She said that she needed his help with some props anyway."

"Rick, he was a baby. What kind of help could he possibly provide?" Dr. Swann was amused.

"It seems that for some reason my mother needed tiny handprints and footprints for background on one of her plays that one of her classes was producing. With my mother sometimes it's better not to ask too many questions."

"What time did your mother arrive at the loft?"

"About 1:30 or so. I left the loft at a quarter to two because the streets were slick. I remembered that Ariel had ballet class at 3:30, so I grabbed her bag before I left. It was 20 degrees when I got to the school. I didn't see anything out of the ordinary except for one of the guys that I'd hired to keep an eye on Ariel while she was in school. He was huddled in his car. I couldn't see him sitting there freezing his ass off, so I told him to call it a day. I also told him to radio the other guys on the detail and tell them to also go home. I couldn't see all of us getting pneumonia."

"Did you notice Tyson following you after you got Ariel?"

"No," Castle shook his head. "Ryan and Esposito told me that they think he might've followed a few car lengths behind me for a few blocks before taking one of the side streets so that I wouldn't see them."

"Are you okay, Rick?"

"Yeah."

"Did you notice them at all before the accident?"

"No. Ariel was chattering non-stop about the FlatIron Building just like always. It's her favorite building in the city. Or at least it was. I had the green light and was just pulling into the intersection when I saw bright lights in my eyes. I didn't understand why I was seeing lights. I mean, it was a gray day, but it was the middle of the afternoon."

"Tyson t-boned your car?" She guessed.

"I heard horns and the steering wheel slammed down on my leg. I remember my foot mashing down on the gas pedal. I didn't want us to get hit on the other side of the car where Ariel was. I could hear her screaming for me, but I didn't know if she was hurt or not. I smelled smoke, but the car wasn't on fire. I heard people yelling and I heard Ariel crying," tears were falling down his face.

"Let me know if you need some time."

"I must've passed out. I woke up and my head was bleeding. I was so woozy and dizzy. Ariel kept crying 'Daddy, daddy.' I lost my phone. I wanted her to call Kate. I think I told her that I lost my phone, but I don't remember. I did ask her if she was hurt and she told me that she didn't think so. I asked her to try to get out of the car and borrow a phone to call her mommy at work. She told me that her straps were stuck. I didn't understand why nobody was helping us! Or why they weren't at least helping her! She's just a baby!"

"Rick, tell me about when you knew that it was Tyson."

"I knew it was Tyson the second that I got hit. I don't know how much time had passed, but I heard Ariel's door open. I thought, 'Thank god, someone's finally going to help us.' Then I heard Ariel scream this scream that I never want to hear again. It was blood-curdling and horrifying. I couldn't really move my head, but I could see him from the corner of my eye. His head was bleeding, too, but he had this knife in his hand and at first, I thought that he was going to kill . . . I thought that he was going to kill my baby right in front of me. But he slashed the straps on her booster seat. Ariel tried to jump out of the seat and get away from him, but he grabbed her. I begged him to please let her go. That Ariel wasn't a part of this. He said 'I knew she'd be a fighter, Castle. Just like her mother.' She was screaming at them to let her go."

Castle took a deep breath and got up, walking around the room. "I heard him yell and then I heard him slap Ariel hard. He then told me to say goodbye to my daughter. I began screaming at them, but everything hurt so badly. I think that I passed out again because then I woke up and saw emergency lights. I told one of the fire fighters that they had taken my daughter, but I don't think I was making any sense, because he ignored me."

"Was Kate there?"

"I don't know. They put a yellow tarp over me and cut the driver's door so that they could get me out of the car. I kept blacking out, but every time I came to, I'd start screaming for Ariel. They were putting me in the ambulance and I finally heard her. I didn't know how I was going to tell Kate that I let them take our baby!"

"Rick, you didn't _let _them do anything. You were powerless to stop them."

"Kate kept holding my hand and telling me that I was going to be okay. Then she . . . she asked me where Ari was. Kate always calls her Ari," he smiled. "I don't know why she's the only one who gets to call her that. I remember that I tried to call her Ari once when she was four and she rolled her eyes just like her mother and then she tells me, 'Daddy, mommy's the only one who can call me Ari.' Kate kept asking me over and over where Ari was and it was like I didn't even have to tell her. She just seemed to know and I begged her to go and find her. I told her that Tyson was going to kill her if she didn't find her. I shouldn't have told my guys to go home! I gave Tyson exactly what he wanted. He'd been watching Ariel's school for months, and he knew that I'd hired somebody. He was just sitting and watching, waiting for the day when one of us would slip up."

"You had no way of knowing that was what he was going to do."

"Yes, I did. How do I learn to forgive myself?"

"The forgiveness will come with time. You've told me that Ariel's getting better. You and Kate are getting your little girl back. Rick, the important thing that you need to remember is that Kate and Ariel don't blame you. Neither does anyone else. You need to remind yourself that you made a horrible error in judgment and move on. You're healing and so is Ariel. You're a wonderful father. You have three children who clearly adore you. Keep telling yourself that."

***CCC***

Castle was sitting in front of his laptop later that afternoon, watching his screensaver scroll by with picture after picture of his life with his family. He found himself smiling at pictures of being with Alexis when she was very small, and then watching as she grew and matured into the beautiful woman she was today. He was looking at pictures of Kate and the kids when he looked up and saw his gorgeous wife standing in the doorway. "Shouldn't you be writing?" She walked over and perched herself on his lap to see what he was looking at. "I can't believe you took that picture of me," she groaned, looking at a picture that had been taken moments after Ari's birth. The new family was settled together on Kate's bed, holding newborn Ariel between them. "I looked like shit."

"You had just given birth to my child. You looked beautiful," he kissed her neck, seeing her bright smile light up her face.

"Where are the kids?"

"Mother picked them up half an hour ago. She's going to bring them back at lunchtime tomorrow because I promised that we'd take them to the zoo. Are you up for it?"

"Lions and tigers and bears? Of course. So, how was it?" She rested her head against his shoulder as he swung the chair from side to side.

"It was rough," he stopped moving the chair. "Do you forgive me, Kate?"

"Castle, there was never anything to forgive. It's over now. Ariel's coming back to us, you're healing up, and spring is finally on its way."

"Yeah, until we get the freak April snowstorm that will once again remind us that winter is never far away in New York."

"I'm going to cook you dinner, run you a bath and give you a massage that will end all massages," she kissed him, biting his bottom lip gently.

"Is that a couples massage?" He murmured against her lips.

"You just want an excuse to have sex."

"Is it a bath for two?"

"It can be," she leaned into him as she deepened the kiss.

Kate got up off of Castle's lap, kissed him one last time and left the room to cook dinner. She was doing prep work a short time later when Castle walked into the kitchen, and slipped his arms around her. "You're very distracting," he nipped her earlobe.

"I could say the same thing. You do realize that I'm holding an extremely sharp knife, don't you?"

"Can I help?"

"I need some celery chopped."

She loved working in the kitchen with Castle. Just as when they worked together on a case, they were perfectly in synch with each other, moving around the kitchen as if they were in a well-rehearsed ballet. In no time, Kate had prepared a wonderful linguine with clam sauce along with a salad. Castle found a bottle of red wine to go with their meal while she lit two candles on the dining table. "Oh, this is wonderful," Castle said after taking a bite of the delicious pasta.

"I love our children, Castle, but it's nice to have a dinner where I do not have to cut someone's food or wipe up spilled milk," Kate smiled.

"Not to mention the mess they would make with this sauce," Castle added as Kate nodded.

"Do you remember the first time Ari ate spaghetti by herself?"

"The bathtub looked like a crime scene," Castle shuddered at the memory of the bathtub in the ensuite after Kate had bathed their daughter after her first self-fed meal of spaghetti. The entire tub was stained red.

"She dumped the bowl on her head, Castle. I didn't think we were ever going to get all of the red out of her hair."

"Mother was so happy to have another redhead, even if it was temporary."

"I'm glad Jack wasn't quite as messy."

"Well, he was just as messy, but we were better prepared," Castle poured her another glass of wine.

After dinner the two of them loaded the dishwasher before Castle poured them some more wine and they retreated to their bedroom.

"Follow me," Kate took his hand and tugged him with her toward the bathroom.

"To the ends of the earth," he allowed her to lead him into the bathroom. She leaned down and turned on the taps before stepping in front of him and slowly removed his clothes, smiling at every inch of skin that she revealed.

Every single time she undressed him, Kate was in awe of how beautiful he truly was. Yes, he always teased that he really was ruggedly handsome and she couldn't agree more. But he was also beautiful, inside and out. He was broad and solid, perfect for snuggling with or for cradling their babies in his arms. She loved him as much or more today than the day she'd married him. They'd both seen each other at their worst and at their best. That day in December had ranked right up there with her mother's murder and the day that she'd been shot in terms of the worst days of her life.

After removing the last of his clothes, she quickly shed her clothes before testing the temperature of the water. It felt heavenly, so she stepped in, settling in at one end while Castle climbed in and sat down directly across from her, pulling her legs across his lap, rubbing her feet with his hands as she slid further into the water and sighed blissfully. "Feel good?" He asked, pushing into the ball of her foot.

"It feels great," she moaned. "Did you feel better once you got everything talked out with Dr. Swann?"

"I still feel guilty, Kate, and I probably always will," he let go of her foot and sat up in the tub.

Kate opened her eyes and stared at him. They both had the bad habit of internalizing their feelings. It had been a problem before they started dating and they had learned to work on it, but there were still times when they both fell into old habits. "We both have a lot of things that we wish that we'd done differently that day. But we can't go back and change anything, Castle. When I remembered the watch, I felt so stupid for being angry at you when you bought it. You were looking out for Ari's safety that day and I was too blind to see it. All I could see was that you were purchasing another gadget for our daughter. But if it hadn't been for that watch, the boys might never have found her that day."

"Well, it either the watch or have her injected with a micro-chip."

"The micro-chip isn't a bad idea," she reached down and picked up his foot, caressing his toes and smiled at the soft gasp that he let out.

"Come here," his voice was a low growl and she smiled brightly when he reached for her hand and pulled him into her arms.

By the time they finished, most of the water from the tub was all over the floor. But they climbed into bed sated and sleepy, only to go into round two within half an hour of shutting off the lights. Kate fell asleep naked and very satisfied against her husband's chest, glad that the kids were gone for the night so that they could enjoy sleeping naked in each other's arms.

***CCC***

"Mr. and Mrs. Castle, please come into my office," Dr. Franklin motioned them into his office on a drizzly Monday afternoon. "Anna, please bring in some coffee."

"Yes, Doctor."

"How is Ariel doing at home?" He asked after Anna had brought in a tray with coffee and three cups.

"Much better," Kate admitted. "She still sucks her thumb at night, but the nightmares have lessened. She seems much less nervous about riding in any of our vehicles."

"I'm happy to hear it. I think that we can cut her appointments back to once a week for the next two months and then we can probably terminate them altogether."

"Are you sure?" Castle asked.

"There are two things that the two of you need to do. Actually, there is one thing that Mrs. Castle needs to do and the other is something that the two of you need to do together. Mrs. Castle, you need to sit down with Ariel and explain to her why it took everybody so long to find her. That was one question that I simply didn't have the answer to. And the two of you need to take her to the scene of the accident. It's very important that Ariel understand that the place where the accident happened is just a normal street and the FlatIron Building is just a building in New York City. I have to warn you that she's probably going to resist going there. But I think that once she realizes that nothing bad will happen to her there, she will relax."

"Other than that?" Castle looked at the doctor.

"Other than that, treat her like you've always treated her. She's a smart, delightful child."

That evening, Castle was playing with Jack in the living room while Kate gave Ari a bath in the ensuite. Watching her daughter playing with her toys, Kate tried to figure out a way to bring up what had happened that afternoon. "Ari, I understand that you have some questions about the day that you and daddy got hurt," she opened up the dialogue as Ari looked at her with a curious expression on her face.

"No, I don't."

"Ari, I wanted to look for you. I wanted to do that more than anything. But I also wanted to be with daddy. Capt. Gates told me to go with your daddy. She told Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi to start looking for you."

"You could have told her no."

"Yes, I could have done that."

"It took them forever to find me."

"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry. I forgot that you were wearing your watch that daddy had bought you for your birthday. If I had remembered, Uncle Kevin and Uncle Javi would've found you faster."

"Were you scared when they couldn't find me?"

"I was very scared. I didn't want them to hurt you."

"I asked the bad man's wife if I could use her phone to call you. I knew both of your numbers."

"I know you did."

"The bad man told me to shut up and stop asking to use the phone. I wanted to bite him again."

"I'm sure you did," Kate bit back a smile.

"They got mad because the bright light was over our heads. The bright light was looking into the car."

"That was the helicopter." 

"I know that," Ari rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry."

"I was glad to see Uncle Javi, but I wanted to see you more. Why was Uncle Kevin crying?"

"I don't know. I think because he was happy that you were okay."

"He got my hair all wet when he hugged me and he was crying."

"They were scared, too. Ari, Dr. Franklin wants me and daddy to take you to the place where the accident happened."

"You'll both go?"

"Yes. Gram, Pop-Pop and Lex can come to, if you'd like."

"No, just you and daddy. Is daddy scared to go there?"

"I don't know. Can we go there tomorrow after we get you from school?"

"Can we get pizza for dinner after we're done?"

"Yeah, we can get pizza."

"Okay."

***CCC***

Ari stared up at the FlatIron Building in awe. She was holding onto each of her parents' hands and just staring skyward. When they'd first arrived at the site, she'd carefully examined the street around where the accident had occurred. Seeing that there was no glass or other evidence of anything made her feel better. "Can we go inside? Does it have an elevator?"

"Yeah, we can ride the elevator," Castle opened the door, guiding his wife and daughter into lobby of the historic building. He looked down at Ariel, who was looking around with a frown on her face. "Ariel, what's wrong?"

"It's not flat inside."

"It's not really flat outside either. It's an optical illusion. Do you still want to ride up in the elevator?"

"Can we go to the Empire State Building instead?" Ariel asked.

"Yes, but not today. We have to go get pizza and then meet Jack at Pop-Pop's. Come on," Castle reached for Ariel's hand with one hand and Kate's with the other before making their way out of the building and toward home.

Walking down the street toward the parking garage and occasionally lifting their daughter between them and swinging her out while listening to her peals of laughter, Castle felt that maybe they were all finally healing. It was a great feeling.

**A/N #2: The epilogue will be posted either tomorrow or Saturday. **

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